Chapter 12- Webs of Memory
BEFORE & AFTER
"All you need to do, is find Jay's consciousness and tell it to shape up and wake up." Dr. Gordon smiled down at Cole. A helmet lowered around his head, blocking half of his vision. "Easy peasy, right?"
"Right." Cole said, although he wasn't too sure. "Any . . . Advice?"
"Um. Be quick?" Dr. Gordon stepped back to the small computer. "I've never personally gone inside anyone's mind, so . . . not sure what to tell you. You know?"
"Right . . ."
"Ready?"
"I think so."
"Good."
Cole shut his eyes. He expected to hear more instructions from Dr. Gordon. But her voice didn't come again. Instead, there was only the rhythmic click, click, click of the keyboard. Or . . . was it? The sound was getting louder. It was changing too. Morphing, until it sounded just like . . .
. . . Footsteps.
Cole opened his eyes with a jolt. He quickly realized that the footsteps were his own. His feet moved forward of their own accord, guiding him down a long hall. He was unable to see the end of it.
The hall itself was split perfectly in half. On Cole's left, everything was brightly colored, in a manner that was almost painful. On the other side, things were only in different shades of grey.
Pictures hung on both sides of the hall. Moving pictures, with soft unintelligible voices.
Cole forced his feet to stop moving, turning to look behind him. There seemed to be no end to the hall in that direction, either. It continued further than what his eyes could see.
"Forward it is then, I guess." Cole said. "Unless there are any other suggestions?"
Cole directed the question at the moving pictures, which he now realized were probably memories. They, of course, did not respond. And this, of course, did not stop Cole from talking.
"Yeah. I didn't think so." Cole half-sighed. "Could my life get any weirder? Jay, you really are one of a kind. Meeting you should have come with a warning label. Not that I regret anything. Of course I don't regret anything."
Bit by bit, Cole's steps slowed. The brightly colored memories purred softly in his ear, tempting him to stop. Don't you remember, Before? Don't you remember, how good things were?
Cole began to recognize some of the memories he passed by. His first official date with Jay. The late night talks on the phone. The early mornings in the kitchen. Small things, big things, things Cole had forgotten but now remembered with a lurch of warmth.
Before, you were happy.
Before, things were good.
There was one memory in particular that called to him. Jay had once told him he'd never gotten a chance to go to a school dance. Cole had taken it upon himself to recreate that experience. He spruced up his backyard. He'd fixed the lighting. He'd played some music.
He'd asked Jay to dance.
"I'm not exact good at dancing, you know." Cole could hear Jay's voice, from within the memory. He stopped walking. "Your feet will look like roadkill after this."
"Don't worry. I'm a good teacher." Cole found himself mouthing his own words along with his past self. He reached out, fingers stroking the image.
"Guess I'll wait and see."
Cole's fingers sunk into the memory. Then, his hand. Something was pulling him inside. The movement was steady, and Cole found that he was not strong enough to fight against it. His body tipped forward. He could not pull back. He could not do anything.
He fell.
The sensation made him sick. He knew he wasn't really falling. Knew that everything was only inside his own, or well Jay's, mind. But it didn't make the feeling any less terrifying.
The bright colors of the memory fell right past him. They were replaced by a swirl of grays, which somehow shaped themselves into an image Cole could follow as he continued to rush down.
"Guess I'll wait and see." Jay's same words from before. Except this time, he spoke through gritted teeth. "But I don't know, Nya. I don't- I don't really feel like following up on the stupid internship."
"Jay . . . I'm not going to try and say I get what you're going through. But you can't- you can't throw away everything. Cole wouldn't want-"
"No. No, no, no. You don't know what Cole would want. Neither of us do. We'll never ever know what he'd want, because he's gone. Forever. Forever . . ."
Cole's body came to a sudden stop. He yelped, as whatever he'd landed on sunk under his weight. It felt like a net. But it hurt. The palms of his hands instinctively tightened around one of the ropes as he tried to sit up. The material clawed at his skin.
He found that it was impossible to stand, but managed to sit up instead. Cole could now see that what he'd landed on resembled a web more than a net. Each and every strand was shaped out of snapping electricity. It all circled downwards, toward a source he could not yet see.
Spread throughout the web, were more memories. Both bright and grey, they shivered in place, displaying bits of Jay's life. Every so often, a whip of lighting would snap against one, and it would shatter. The pieces would then crumble down into the empty void beneath the web.
"Not a fan of the decoration, if I'm honest." Cole said, moving forward slowly. He did not want to fall again.
He wasn't all that sure there would be anything else to catch him next time.
Dr. Gordon needed to admit that she wasn't necessarily the best at thinking about consequences.
Let's give a toddler superpowers! Let's make a time machine! All of her ideas sounded wonderful, innovating, world changing in her mind. In reality, though? She was beginning to have a few doubts.
Good intentions or not, the two people before her were suffering from very real consequences from her very real actions.
She bit her lip, pushing back her stool to plop back down onto the floor. She stepped closer to Jay, studying his sleeping features with wide, curious eyes. She refrained from touching him, but her fingers twitched at her sides.
He didn't resemble the small child she was used to seeing. Not much, anyway. He was . . . he was someone else. Someone who'd grown without her. Someone she'd never get to know.
"I'm . . . sorry, Jay. I'm- I'm honestly very far from being a good mother. Impulsive. Reckless. Selfish? Probably a little. Or a lot." Dr. Gordon chuckled softly. "I bet you're a great person to hang out with, though. . . Is that weird to say? I mean. It's not like you can hear me, anyway."
Dr. Gordon shook her head, stepping away from Jay. Her heels clicked against the floor.
She froze.
The time machine. Had she locked the lab? She'd been in such a hurry . . . Wu had made her swear she'd be careful. Krux and Acronix had both begun to act awfully shifty. Even Garmadon had slyly suggested they be kept out of the loop.
She leaned over to peek at the computer. Cole and Jay both seemed to be doing okay. Or as okay as they could be. Dr. Gordon reached for her keys, fidgeting with them as she rushed out of the lab.
"Tick, tock, tick, tock." She mumbled to herself. "If it turns out it's your fault everything fell apart . . ."
Just as Cole had begun to suspect, Jay was at the center of everything.
He could see him now, hovering above the black void beneath the web, supplying each and every strand that formed it.
Jay's eyes were wide open, but they did not see. They were made out of pure blue light. Electricity crackled around him. Every so often, the energy would build up enough to snap, which only resulted in more broken memories.
"Jay," Cole began to move faster, whispering Jay's name because he needed to.
Part of him warned him to slow down, warned that Jay's abilities could hurt him just as badly here as they could on the outside of his mind. But Cole didn't slow. He couldn't slow. He was on a ticking clock and he knew it. If Jay destroyed everything that made him him . . . Cole didn't want to think about it.
Closer now. Closer still. Close enough to feel the pressure of Jay's energy.
A memory rushed past him.
"I'm going to go to Ninjago City. And I'm going to make my own company! Jay Inc. Where the future is always!" Jay's voice sounded far, far younger.
"If you say so, junkyard boy." Cole didn't recognize this voice. Childlike laughter followed.
"I do say so! Just you wait."
Crack! The memory shattered before it could continue. Cole flinched.
He was teetering dangerously close to the void around Jay's body now. Each move threatened to tip him over. But he was so close! If he could just, just reach Jay then . . .
He didn't have much of a choice. He was going to have to jump.
It was the easiest leap Cole had ever taken. He pulled Jay into a tight embrace as he reached him, easily ignoring the pain from the bits of lightning that still circled his body.
Maybe he was too late. Maybe Jay had done too much damage. But at least Cole had gotten to him. At least Cole could hold him. And he wasn't going to let go.
Cole had readied himself for another long fall, but the sensation never came. Instead, their surroundings shifted, and he realized he was once again standing upon something firm.
They were in Ninjago city's park. A warm breeze rustled through the trees. If Cole hadn't been so aware of where he really was, he would have believed everything was real. Shouts and vague laughter surrounded them both, giving everything a comfortable atmosphere.
"Cole?"
Cole let go of Jay, stepping back to take all of him in. He looked normal again. His eyes were the right shade of blue. Cole pulled him back into a hug. "Jay. You're- I'm- . . . You're here. I'm here."
". . . Yes." Jay answered. He did not return the gesture. Instead, he took hold of Cole's arms, gently pushing him back. "Where is here? Are we . . . dead? I sort of feel like we're dead. We- . . . Krux! And the machine! He- oh no. I got us killed, didn't I?"
For a second, Jay's eyes flashed back to the dangerous blue. Cole took his hands. "No. No, Jay. I'm okay. And you're okay too! You just- You need to wake up. Then we'll fix everything. Together, you know?"
"Wake up?" Jay shook his head.
"Yes."
"I'm- . . ." Jay ran his hands through his hair. "I'm forgetting things. A lot of things. But . . . But I'm remembering things too. You- You knew me. Didn't you? Before! When we were kids!"
"Yes. But that's not-"
"Why didn't you tell me?" Jay pulled his hands away from Cole. "What else haven't you told me? I thought we'd agreed. No more secrets."
"I wasn't hiding it!" Cole grimaced. "But now's not the time to-"
"No. Cole, no. Stop pushing things away. Stop pushing me away. Do you think that makes me want to- to wake up? Because I'll be honest, this right here? Looks peaceful enough to spend forever in. Don't you think? At least here I won't get lied to." Jay shrugged. "At least here there's no stupid After. Where nothing makes sense and everything's a lie."
"After?"
"You know. After you 'died'. After my powers. After the world decide stopped making sense." Jay laughed as he spoke, but Cole recognized the sound. It was a little desperate, used only when Jay could not think of a joke to settle his mind with.
"But I'm here now, Jay. We can figure out the new world together. Can't we?" Cole really wanted to reach out again. But bits of electricity were beginning to circle around Jay's body again, warning him away. He did not want to be held. Not now, anyway.
"I don't know. Part of me is still scared to trust you. I love you more than anything. I do. But things feel . . . different. And I don't know if I can just live with the fact that they're never going to go back to what they were. I want to go back to Before. To laughing until we made ourselves cry. To having our worst worries be about missing an episode of our favorite show."
Jay seemed to be close to tears. He refuse to hold Cole's gaze, locking eyes with the distance instead. The breeze around them became a rush of wind.
"Jay . . . of course things are different. Things always change. I mean, granted, they changed a lot. And some parts are my fault. But we can still figure them out. If we have each other. You know?
"I'm here. I'm here now, Jay. And I need you. I need you now. Forget about Before. Forget about After." The rushing air whipped Cole's hair around him. "Please. I can't do it alone. I can't do it without you. You've always been at the center of everything I've done."
Jay scoffed, but it was a soft sound. "Very flattering. But it doesn't change the fact that things feel . . . they feel wrong. And I don't know how I can go back to making them feel right."
"Using time and good friends seems like a good start." Cole said. His voice shook. He hated seeing the hurt within Jay's eyes. Pain was the last thing he'd wanted to cause. And, somehow, it seemed to be the only thing he was good at causing.
"I guess it's as good advice as any" Jay said. His eyes finally sought out Cole's again. Jay wiped the bits of tears away with the back of his hand. "And you . . . you won't leave again?"
"I won't leave again." Cole reached out his hand. "I promise."
"Okay . . ." Jay said. He stared at Cole for a few seconds longer, before finally taking his hand. Their fingers intertwined with one another. "Okay."
"I love you, Jay. I loved you Before and I love you Now." Cole's voice was soft. He pulled Jay into a hug, slowly this time, giving Jay plenty of time to pull away. "I love you always."
Jay didn't. Slowly, his arms returned the embrace. The movement was weak at first Hesitant. But with a soft chuckle and a deep sigh, his arms tightened. "I love you too, Cole. Now and always."