Twenty

December 18, 2016 – New Product Launch!

"Hello, everyone and welcome back to my channel! It's Tony Stark and I am an engineer and I am here to announce a new product that SI has been working tirelessly on and it was supposed to be unveiled a little earlier – cutting it a little close to Christmas than we planned on…But first, I want to bring on two guests!" He signaled from across the room.

Harley and Lily, his sister, came into view of the camera.

"Now, amongst all that Mandarin drama, this little tyke helped me out!" He ruffled Harley's hair.

"Tony!" He pressed his hair back down.

"Kids." Tony said fondly.

"So, Harley. Tell YouTube your story…Go on."

"Well, the Mechanic and I met when he tried to break into my garage…"

"Okay, maybe not the whole truth…" Tony backtracked.

"And I hit him with my potato launcher."

"That is true."

"And helped him charge the suit, enough for him to get home because everyone thought he was dead."

"Yes, also true."

"And I am the first child he had claimed, Parker, so eff off!" Harley folded his arms.

"Harley! We talked about this. I love you and Peter equally."

Harley huffed.

"Whatever. We are connected, Stark! Don't you forget it!"

"It's not like I could…you're always bringing it up…" Tony mumbled.

Harley whipped around and glared at him.

"What did you just say?" He demanded.

"Nothing!" Tony held up his hands.

Lily started laughing uproariously.

"What's so funny?" He demanded, turning to his sister. She sucked in a breath, wheezing from the laughter.

"Oh my god, Harley, you act just like Mom!"

"I DO NOT!" He said offended.

"You so do! 'What did you just say?'" Lily mocked, forcing a stern face, then cracking up. "How'd you turn into such a mom?" She giggled.

"Ugh!" Harley growled and turned away from both.

"Anyways…" Tony interrupted. "We were arguing about War Machine…"

"Iron Patriot is so much cooler sounding." Harley piped up.

"It so is not!" Tony said heatedly. "Anyways… Harley gives me Lily's watch." Lily smiles to herself. "And here it is!" He pulled out a bright pink watch with Dora on it. "Lily, aren't you embarrassed that you owned this?"

"No." She grinned.

"I would be."

"Well, I was six and Dora is an icon." Lily folded her arms.

"Ugh, you kids are like all the same. Icon, iconic, stan…what world am I living in anymore?" Tony complained.

"Maybe you're getting old." Harley sniped. Tony gasped dramatically and held a hand to his chest.

"Et tu, Brute?"

"In that case, die. Caesar." Harley volleyed back. Tony looked at him.

"You are studying Shakespeare?"

"Advanced lit." He grinned.

"Impressive."

"I know."

"And I know that I have been a had influence on you. Getting back on track! Watch. I brought this watch to my R&D team and we had an idea. Mostly me, but some people helped."

"Introducing the StarkSpark!" He brought out a small box and opened it to a sleek, feminine looking watch. It was rose gold face, a simple square as the face, delicate strap running around the wrist.

"What does it do?" Harley asked. Lily leaned and looked at it.

"It's pretty."

"Yeah, it tested pretty well on aesthetics, but the actual purpose tested much better." Tony smiled. "All around the world, but especially in New York, our society has an integral issue with women. Men, myself included – once upon a time, thought the best way to get a woman's attention was to whistle at her, or honk their horn in appreciation of their beauty or sex appeal. But now I know, being in a serious relationship with Pepper and seeing how much pretty girls or women go through and Pepper didn't get too bad of it but others get far worse. And some girls are so young… It is disgusting. I was reading online that some girls need to tell them that they have a boyfriend, even if they are leaning towards women because the only way a man will back off is if there is another man in the midst. It's kind of revolting."

Tony took a deep sigh.

"If I ever have a daughter, I want her to feel safe in the city that she lives in, so this is a dedication to her. If she ever comes to exist. This is for you, Miss Stark." He swallowed at the emotions nipping at his throat, clearing them. "This is a watch that has taser abilities. It has a small taser built into the top of the watch, here." Tony tilted it up and showed the small incision where the taser came out of. "Now, the watch doesn't have any other functions other than telling time. But it will have the priceless feeling of safety. The watch has two buttons on it. One on either side. We have a small space built into the watch for some liquid mace, for added security. We will be providing refill bottles of mace, one free with purchase – after that, you can order them online from Stark Industries and they will be $2.99 with free shipping in the US, to start. The button on the right will deploy the taser and the button on the left will be the mace. To use it correctly, you aim the left side of the watch at your assailant at close range, say five feet." Tony lifted the watch, turned it on its side for the camera to view the opening made for the mace. "To refill it, we provide a very small injector." He pulled out an ounce of mace in a small mace packaging. "You take the injector and place it in here. The watch would carry up to three uses so if you used it once and want it at its max, press the button once. The bottom of the can will turn red when out." Tony also pulled out a round disk with a cord attached. "This is the charger for the taser and the watch itself. We did not include a battery that needed to be replaced. Instead, we have a charging station, like the Apple Watch, the magnet charges the battery of the watch, but it should not need more than three hours a week. Just plug the USB into a computer or a cube and it should charge quickly. The watch face will turn white when complete. Please be sure not to overcharge it, as that kills the charge indicator. Also, do not sleep with this on. It could accidentally go off if you are a active sleeper. You must press pretty firmly to deploy either ones so it is not something you can press accidentally when awake. We have sets for both the left and right-handed people and are working on different colors and genders. We understand that a lot of gay men would most likely appreciate this and want to purchase it as well and I am pleased to say that we will have it ready in January!"

"Wow…" Harley said amazed.

"You got all that from my Dora watch?" Lily asked, dumbfounded.

"You betcha. And this one is yours, Lilyflower." Tony said handing the box to her. "Stay safe." She grabbed the box and smiled gratefully at him.

"Thanks, Tony."

"Yeah." Harley said as he wrapped his arm around his sister. "Thank you."

"Yeah…" Tony said, clearly uncomfortable. "These will go live on Dec 20th, guaranteed shipping for Christmas for US customers only! Purchase price is $75.99!"

Tony waved at the camera and the feed cut out.

Peter sat down to lunch the following day and Ned and him immediately jumped back into their argument – or, as they see it, friendly debate – over who was worse: Umbridge or Voldemort. Peter said Umbridge but Ned thought it was Voldemort.

"I just think that her use of the Blood Quill was abhorrent! She could have been on Voldemort's side all along, we don't know!"

"She was evil, yes, Peter. But Voldemort killed countless muggles, muggle-borns, half-bloods and purebloods!"

"Look, he was super evil but he wasn't like Umbridge evil. Who's death were you more happy about, Umbridge or Voldemort?"

"It's not that I was more happy it was just…"

"Aha!" Peter pointed a finger in his face. Ned frowned unhappily. "See!"

"Ahem. Nerds." MJ announced her presence.

"Oh, hey, MJ. What's up?" Peter greeted easily.

She sat next to Peter and opened her salad container and plopped some dressing on it.

"What were you talking about?" She stabbed some lettuce and put it in her mouth.

"We were debating on who was more evil: Umbridge or Voldemort."

"Umbridge, obviously." MJ said firmly.

"See?!" Peter cried out, completely validated.

"Ugh." Ned scoffed as he returned to his lunch.

"It's kind of a weird discussion to have right now, though."

"It is not! We were casually discussing it."

"I thought it was a debate." MJ smirked.

"It is! It is both a casual discussion and a debate."

"Uh huh. Well, anyways…Peter."

Peter looked at MJ, she usually didn't call him by his name.

"Um, Michelle."

"Don't call me Michelle."

"Okay, sorry."

She sighed. "It's fine. I wouldn't normally ask you this, but my parents refuse to get it for me. Would you be able to get me one of those Stark watches, if I slip you some money. I have some allowance saved up."

"Oh! Sure, I can ask Mr. Stark! They're going live tomorrow."

"Yeah. Sorry, I don't want to take advantage of our friendship or whatever, but I'd like to have one, just in case."

"Are you feeling safe when walking home, MJ?" Peter asked, leaning in, talking in confidence. "Cuz I can totally walk home with you! I so don't mind. I usually get home super early anyways…It wouldn't be bad."

"I can take care of myself, dweeb. It's just extra insurance in case I end up in a seedy area."

"Okay, I will do what I can."

"Thank you." She turned her full attention back to her salad as Ned and Peter debated on whether Snape was evil or good. She rolled her eyes and pulled out an autobiography of Harriet Tubman and turned to where she left off.