I do not own the show.
Thanks to Debbie and Steph for editing this and to everyone who has reviewed so far.
So it is the day after the fallout at Charles' birthday party. Will Molly and Charles finally clear the air?
Molly zipped up her coat as she walked towards her parked car. She had actually thought Anna James had been joking with her when she'd told her the James family resided on Royal Crescent. Royal blooming Crescent! She knew Charles had money, as soon as they'd met, his deep rich and poncy accent had pretty much told her he'd been born with a silver spoon in his mouth but somehow she's never really thought much more of it, he became just Charles to her.
She had called Anna to ask if her and Archie would be able to look after Sam for the day explaining that there was something she needed to do. Anna had jumped at the chance and gave her directions on where to park, muttering something about road works outside on the street which were currently getting on everyone's nerves.
If Molly had been shocked when she arrived at their front door that was nothing compared to Sam's reaction. He was actually speechless and when she stepped inside the front door, Molly swallowed loudly just staring at her surroundings. The house was bigger and taller than the whole block of flats she had grown up in, in Newham.
"Wow!" Sam exclaimed as his face lit up. Molly never took in a single word of what Anna was saying, she was just transfixed by the grandness of the house. To be fair it was a stunning house, beautifully and immaculately decorated with photos on the walls instead of oil paintings, so it still felt warm and homely rather than some stately home. That said, she warned Sam not to run in the house and crossed all her fingers and toes he remembered and didn't break anything.
Sam couldn't wait to explore the house, so much so Molly barely got a goodbye from him. Not that she really minded, he was happy to be spending time with his grandparents and Anna had already planned a list of things for them to do today. As they walked down the path Anna reached out and touched her on the arm.
"Is this about what happened yesterday, at Headley?" she asked Molly carefully.
Molly nodded "Yeah, I need to go back to clear the air between us and I just think it would be best to do that on my own. It's a conversation that isn't for Sam's little ears."
"He cares about you Molly; a lot," Anna said smiling "And he wants to be a brilliant father to Sam."
"I know, we just need to sort some things out first," Molly smiled back, her head finally clear of the fog that had seemed to surround it lately. "I'll call when I am on my way back."
"Take as long as you need, we can have Sam all day, even overnight if you want a night off," Anna replied.
"Thanks, just don't call Charles just yet," Molly explained "I want to surprise him, and I don't want him to sit there worrying about it before I arrive."
"Of course!" Anna smiled as she waved Molly off.
OGOGOGOGOG
Molly made her usual stop at the garage only a few miles away from Headley. She used the washrooms and grabbed a cup of strong tea to help calm her nerves.
She sat back in the seat and briefly closed her eyes. If she had managed two hours sleep last night that had been the height of it. She tossed and turned, her mind whirling and replaying everything that had happened the day before. After giving herself a good talking to, she stopped thinking and worrying to concentrate on what she wanted for herself and Sam. Having finally realised what it was she wanted from Charles, the fog in her head started to lift, she now just needed to explain it all to Charles. This was a conversation that had to happen face to face and not over the phone. As much as she hated to admit it, he had been right and so had Jac and Kate too, she needed to learn to include him in all decisions regarding Sam. She also had to acknowledge and accept her feelings towards Charles as well and right now she didn't, which is what scared her more.
She opened her eyes to set off on the final part of her journey, as she turned on the ignition the radio blasted on again and she froze. Of all the days and all the songs in the world that could be playing right now, it had to be that one. Was it a sign?
This world can hurt you
It cuts you deep and leaves a scar
Things fall apart, but nothing breaks like a heart
And nothing breaks like a heart
She arrived at Headley in no time and parked in her normal space. She realised then that she had nothing to give Charles, no homemade cookies, pictures drawn by Sam or new photos. But then again maybe the best thing she could bring to this visit was honesty.
She locked the car and walked into Headley, signed herself in as a visitor and asked where she could find Major James, and was promptly given directions to physio.
She heard him before she saw him. Whatever he was doing was hurting him. She listened as he let out another groan of frustration. Standing in the doorway she saw him holding on to the railings in a death grip. The other man in the room must have been his physio, Molly heard him ask Charles to consider stopping for the day.
"No," Charles snapped "I want to stand without a fucking stick to support me."
Molly continued to watch Charles as he stood on his good leg and was able to balance fine, but as he switched to stand on his bad leg she saw the pain flash across his face as he tried to stand only on that leg. To his credit he managed it for a few seconds and then stood on both legs unaided for a few seconds.
"Brilliant Charles," the physio smiled "and now we really are finished for the day."
"Thank Christ," Charles said as leaned against the bar.
Molly stepped into the room properly "See, told you that you'd get there eventually!"
Charles snapped his head round at the sound of her voice. He wasn't sure if he was hallucinating through the pain and exhaustion or whether she really was standing there. Once he realised she really was stood there a million thoughts started running through his head as to why Molly was there. Was she supposed to be visiting today? He didn't think he'd forgotten about a visit, and if he had, then where was Sam? Oh god, maybe something had happened to Sam? but then he reassured himself that if something had happened to Sam Molly wouldn't be here and she certainly wouldn't be smiling.
"Molly… what are you doing here?" he asked slowly frowning as he tried to focus on her and his balance at the same time.
"I wanted to see you, after yesterday I think we need to talk, don't you?" Molly answered calmly as she crossed the short distance between them and handed him his towel.
Charles nodded as he wiped the sweat from his forehead "Where's Sam?"
"With your parents, I thought it best if he weren't here for this chat."
"He is with my parents, for the full day?"
"Yes," Molly smiled "I lost count of all the things your mums planned to do with him today."
"I dread to think," Charles smiled as he reached over and grabbed his crutches. "Do you want to go outside to talk or we can stay in here if it's too cold?"
"Outside, if you can manage the walk to the gardens?"
"Let me get my jacket from my room, I warn you though I may have overdone the physio today so I'm at tortoise speed."
"Well you get your jacket and I'll grab us some hot drinks," Molly smiled.
"Perfect."
OGOGOGOG
It didn't take Charles as long as he thought it would to get out to gardens to meet Molly. His mind was racing with reasons as to why she was here. She was actually here to see him which made him smile. She didn't appear to be in the same mood she was when she left yesterday which he thought was also promising. It still didn't make him any less scared of what was about to happen though.
He smiled as he approached the small table where she sat and then remembered something from yesterday. "Were you not supposed to be working today?"
"I lied."
Charles sat down carefully and smiled "Excuse to get away then?"
"Yeah something like that. Listen, Charles, about yesterday," Molly started to say, only for Charles to raise his hand.
"You don't need to apologise Molly; I shouldn't have said what I did to you and as for my behaviour regarding Tom…"
Molly interrupted him, "Actually Charles, the more I've thought about it you did need to say that stuff," she pushed his cup of coffee closer to him "Here's your coffee, sorry no fancy stuff."
"Fancy stuff?" he asked.
"Rosa whatever it's called."
"Rosabaya," Charles laughed "oh how I miss it! The coffee here is drinkable at best."
"I'll take your word for it, a tea bag usually does me," Molly smiled.
"That's as maybe but I'm not a fully functioning soldier until I've had at least one cup of coffee in the morning," Charles smiled and then frowned "Or at least I was." He trailed off.
"You'll get there Charles, I saw you standing on the leg earlier, you're making really great progress." Molly said trying to reassure him.
"Maybe, but I'm not recovering quickly enough, I may need to reconsider my role within the army."
"Really?"
"I moved back to the UK because I was tired of all the tours and travelling. I wanted to settle down. I just need to accept that my future in the army will more than likely either be training or a desk job."
"Do you want that?" Molly asked carefully.
"Yes and no. Not sure a desk job is really my bag, but it will mean being based in the UK, so I'll get to spend more time with you and Sam. I can be there to do school runs, nursery pickups, have him stay overnight or weekends. I can be a proper father to Sam."
Molly nodded her head "We need to talk about that."
"We do," Charles said as he stared at his coffee.
"That's why I'm here," Molly said as she started fidgeting with her cup.
"Really?"
Molly sipped her tea "We need to talk about us and Sam. Let's say I've had some sense knocked into me since I left here yesterday and have spent most of the night thinking things through."
"Okay," Charles gave her an unsure smile as he sat back in the chair.
"I want you to be totally involved in Sam's life, in every way."
"What about your life? I really want to be in that too."
"Ditto," Molly said shyly.
"I want to believe you Molly, but you've been giving me so many mixed signals. Just when I think maybe we're getting closer you seem to pull away again."
"I know I have but trust me I do have my reasons," Molly said quietly as she tucked her hair behind her ear.
"Can I be honest Molly?"
Molly nodded her head, "yeah I think now is the time for complete honesty and no holding back, for both of us."
"I am in love with you," he said simply. "I fell in love with as soon as you sat down in that bar on my stag night. I shouldn't have but I did. I messed all of this up by not standing up to Rebecca and you've had to deal with everything by yourself. But I want to be a part of your life as well as Sam's. I want us to raise our son together as a family."
"Is it me that you really want Charles or is it Sam?" Molly muttered as she fiddled with her ring and stared at the ground. Her stomach was doing somersaults. She knew what she wanted and she wasn't sure she'd be able to bare the rejection if it was the latter. "Your mother told me how much you wanted to be a father and …"
"Stop," Charles said as he grabbed her hands and held them "Did you hear me?" He said softly as he tucked a piece of hair that had fallen across her face behind her ear and tilted her chin up so her gaze met his. "I said I love you. Molly Dawes I am completely head over heels in love with you. Not lust, not some silly schoolboy type crush, completely unadulterated love. I haven't stopped thinking of you or that wonderful night we spent together for the last 3 years. Ask my dad, or even Elvis and they'll tell you the same thing, I have thought of you every day and longed to find you again."
"You say that, but," Molly stammered "How can you love me Charles, we had one drunken night together. How can someone like you love someone like me?"
"It was one drunk but perfect night Molly, I thought that before I even knew about Sam. I love the way you bite your lip when you're concentrating, how your eyes sparkle a deep emerald green when you're excited about something and I love your personality. You make me think and engage my brain, and you certainly keep me on my toes Molly and I love that, I need that," Charles explained as he leaned forward, his chocolate brown eyes finding hers. "With Rebecca she was the trophy wife, seemingly the perfect officer's wife whose only concern was money, shopping and her vanity, just so shallow and self-absorbed. That's the complete opposite of you. You work for a living and not just because you have to but more importantly because you want to. Oh, and you're bloody amazing at it. I don't want you to be like Rebecca. I want you to be brilliant."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Molly asked confused "You say that I'm amazing and then you say that? What does it even mean?"
"Okay I could have phrased that better, I love who you are, that you're different to me, you are bloody amazing, and you are brilliant. You're a wonderful nurse and if you want to work more hours or go for promotions to further your career then I will support and encourage you every step of the way. And what's more I'll be filled with pride at your achievements. Whatever you want to do you can, but I want to be the one by your side cheering you on."
"You do?" Molly asked his carefully as a gentle wind started to pick up.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because I love you," Charles said as he moved closer to her as he cupped her head and put a gentle kiss on her forehead before he leaned in to rest his forehead against hers. He saw a small tear leave her eye and he wiped it away.
"I want to believe you, I do," Molly sniffed.
"I mean every word; I don't know what more I can say or do to convince you."
"Let me explain," Molly said as she pulled away slightly from his embrace. "I have always had feelings for you too. It's just when I found out I was pregnant I had to put those feelings aside, away in a box if you like, because of the baby; Sam became my priority and he always will be. Of course I want to date you, kiss you and yes raise Sam together and be like a proper family."
Charles smiled as he released a breath he didn't realise that he'd been holding.
"But what if it all goes wrong? What if we have a relationship and it falls apart? How would we explain that to Sam and stay civil to each other? What if we end up hating each other?"
"Then we make a promise here and now," Charles vowed "That regardless of what happens we will always be friends for Sam's sake and ours. He will always be both of our priority."
"I'm just scared Charles," Molly said quietly.
"Of what?" Charles asked as he reached over and tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear.
"Every relationship I have had has turned to shit," Molly said seriously then started giggling.
"I remember you told me something like that," Charles smiled "But that doesn't mean to say we would."
"Every guy I have dated has tried to control me, told me what to do and how to do it. With Artan I was told to date him, told to marry him every time I said what I wanted I got ignored or shouted at. Most of the time with him, I went along with things for a quiet life. If he wanted to go out we did, if he wanted sex we had sex. I dumped him, ran from my family and settled in Bath. He turned up again and fooled me, but the same thing happened again."
He didn't know what to say so he just sat there and listened, her honesty breaking his heart.
"Bryce was the same," Molly continued "He was great with Sam but Christ everything had to be his way too. After I dumped him I made myself a promise to not let anyone control me ever again."
"I get that Molly I do, but the last thing I ever want to do is control you. I love you for you, I don't want to change you, nor do I want you to change me. I want us to be side by side supporting each other through the ups and downs," Charles gently explained "I want you to work, I want you to be brilliant. If I am asking you questions it's not that I want to control you, it's because I want to know everything about you. I want to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, to spoil you rotten, to love you and to protect you so no-one can ever hurt you again. Molly when you were attacked…" Charles heard his voice starting to break "that scared the shit out of me every bit as much as when I realised the tank I was in was about to crash. Those seconds as the tank was rolling upside down were played out in slow motion and your beautiful face was the vision I had in my head, and it made me realise you are the last thing I will always want to see." Charles took a deep breath as he looked deeply into Molly's eyes desperately trying to gauge her reaction, "Molly, I just want to spend every moment of my life with you and with Sam, for us to be our own family."
"Ditto."
"You want that too?" he asked her carefully.
Molly smiled warmly and maintained their eye contact as she nodded "I realised last night, well actually the early hours of this morning, that all I wanted was to actually wake up in your arms every morning and fall asleep in them every night."
"I would marry you tomorrow if you would let me!"
"Steady on mate, you're a bit previous there!" Molly laughed as she nearly choked on her tea.
"I know but it's chemistry," Charles laughed shyly, "but seriously we can take this at whatever you pace you want Molly."
"For Sam's sake we need to take this slowly," Molly replied smiling "let him get used to having you around when you get home. I guess he needs to get used to sharing me with you as much as I need to share him, and we go from there."
"I can do that," Charles said with a playful smile "On one condition."
"Oh yeah, what's that then?" Molly asked smiling instead of frowning.
"We have a date night, one night each week where mum and dad or Jaq and Dan can babysit, where we can spend some quality time together getting to know each other properly."
"Deal." Molly agreed smiling,
"And we do things as a family too, like going to the zoo, or the cinema together," Charles suggested.
"I love that idea too," Molly agreed.
"About Sam," Molly said carefully "while were dating."
"Yes," Charles smirked at her as he stroked her hand.
"Molly giggled at his ridiculously happy face "You can see him whenever you want, I mean it. Maybe start by picking him up from nursery, I can introduce you to them and tell them when you will be collecting him, so they know to hand him over to you. You can spend some alone time with him at your place or mine while he gets used to it and then we can start with him staying overnight with you and your parents once a week. Let Sam dictate the pace."
"Molly that sounds…"
"My shifts change week by week so I can't give you a definite day and it is not that I don't trust you to look after Sam overnight, I just want to see how he reacts to the change. I mean he is still trying to get used to not having Dan around and he could be fine with all it or he might not," Molly blurted out not wanting to sound like she was putting any barriers in the way but needing Charles to understand Sam has to be comfortable with any arrangements.
"Hey, slow down," Charles smiled "I get it, I understand. Yesterday, I was just being selfish and unreasonable. I saw you and Tom talking and the jealousy and frustration took over."
"Charles, I mean this in the nicest possible way but limp or no limp, need a stick or don't need a stick makes no difference to me, I trust you completely with Sam. It's me that needs to remember to include you in the decisions about him and as I said to share him with you."
Charles smiled as he nodded.
"I have enrolled him in a primary school, I had to do it as there was a cut off period and I only got the official confirmation of a place just before you well appeared," Molly explained "It is a really good primary school with excellent results, it's close to the nursery so many of his little friends will be going there too and most importantly Sam liked it."
"You're right that is the most important thing," Charles smiled "I may have been a tad out of line there but I'm not going to lie I would've liked to send him to a private school not out of snobbery before you take the piss but to give him the best education possible. But there is always time for that later."
Molly gave him a mischievous smirk "Let me guess Larchwood?"
"Mum told you?"
"Oh yes, and besides Crescent Hill Primary actually has better results than that ponsy place," Molly smirked "I did my homework!"
"You did," Charles smiled "We can talk about this again when it comes to high school and off course what Sam wants too."
"Deal."
"What about child support?" he asked carefully.
"I hate asking people for money," Molly sighed. "I am a proud person, always have been and always will be.
"You don't say, can't say I've noticed" he said as he rolled his eyes in mock sarcasm.
"Well I found some calculator online last night. It's not really fair of me to ask you to pay for uniforms or childcare costs when it is me who is working."
"Molly," Charles sighed "I want to help."
"And you can, while we are dating anyway. I wrote it down on a bit paper, the calculations anyway," Molly said as she pushed the piece of paper into his hand. "Just don't open it now."
"Is it up for discussion?"
"It's all that I want for now anyway," Molly smirked.
"Okay…for now anyway," Charles smirked as he slided the paper into his pocket. "There is just one last thing I think we do need to do."
"Do?" Molly frowned slightly confused.
"We need to seal all these deals, properly," he said smirking, eyes glittering.
"Oh, do we?" Molly replied smirking and getting what Charles was hinting at.
"We do," Charles said as he reached over, cupped her face and softly stroked her cheek.
Molly giggled as she stared into his eyes "I have been desperate to kiss you ever since we first kissed."
"You have?" Charles asked smiling.
Molly nodded her head still smiling "I've never forgotten that night, how you made me feel like I was the only person in the world. You looked at me and there was someone who wanted to know me, the real me. You were not making decisions for me or trying to belittle me, put me down. You just let me be me and when I told you about my family, my past you didn't criticise me or judge me. You understood."
"Because I know what it is like to be in a situation you can't control," Charles smiled.
"I hear you say all those things, about having feeling for me, loving me, then I look at you and wonder if you are right in the head," Molly laughed then realised what she had said "You know what I mean."
"I do."
"We've always had a connection," Molly said as she moved closer to him so that their bodies were touching. "From the very beginning, I always wondered where you were and what you were doing. If you were happy. When I realised it was you on the operating table, my heart literally stopped. My first thought was nothing to do with Sam or how I would tell him, it was that I never got to know you, kiss you again, love you or be loved by you."
"Molly," he whispered quietly.
"I'm scared cos we had this one wonderful night but what if that was it? Or what if it was the start of something even more wonderful? I'm tired of what if's and fighting my feelings for you Charles."
"Ditto," he replied smiling, holding and caressing her hands.
"Ditto, bleeding ditto! I pour my sodding heart out to you mate and that is all you say; I was expecting something a bit more romantic than…ditto!" Molly exclaimed as she pulled away slightly only for Charles to pull her back towards him again.
"I don't want to say anything right now," Charles smiled as he leaned forward and softly kissed her on the lips before resting their foreheads together.
"Me either," Molly smiled as she pulled in for another, longer more intense kiss.
So what do you think?
I have a small confession to make… I finished writing this story and there are only a few chapters remaining, more coming very soon…