Chapter ten: Paenitentia

Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure RR has better things to do than listen to me whine about my life vicariously.

Author's Note – Captain McShizzl, you have to remember that here there was no possession by Eidolon, it was just Jason and Percy. And in the beginning, both were really, really angry. But as the fight progressed, and I mentioned this, they got into the rhythm of the swords rather than focusing on actually hurting each other. Think of it as an intense sparring session.

Also, this chapter is basically going to be an epic rant after the initial fangirling session I promised, coz I HAVE SHIT TO DUMP. Don't say I didn't warn you! Peace out.

"Regret is a form of punishment itself."

- Nouman Ali Khan

Piper's POV:

I had seen Jason fight off a horde of venti without breaking a sweat, and yet, I did not think he was this good. He had masterful control of his father's domain, seeing as how he had used both wind and lightning during the fight and still had been able to continue.

He used that gladius pretty well, and because I was the one playing "nurse" as Percy had called it, I had brushed Jason off as a demigod. I had severely underestimated him because of his calm demeanor and his apparent reluctance to fight.

Of course, the fact that he had fought against Percy, moving so fast I could barely see him was also pretty impressive. Most of all though, he was still standing. I had seen Percy go through campers like they were stalks of wheat and he was the one with the sickle. He had fought against Ares and won. He had fought Kronos himself to a standstill, and he had defeated Hyperion, the Lord of Light himself. The fact that Jason had managed to last longer than ten minutes was a feat in and of itself.

Then that nasty inner voice I like to call doubt whispered in my ear, "Why want for something when you can never have it? You know the son of Jupiter is much too good for you, after all, you are the useless daughter of the goddess of love. At least Athena is the goddess of battle strategy and is useful."

I gritted my teeth; I was NOT going to debate self-worth with myself. I was certainly not going to obsess over the fact that everything brain-me had said was true.

After all, I was useless in pretty much all the battles that had happened until now. My charmspeak was barely good enough to get a hazy minded, druggie god to drop a hint and my skill with Katoptris was a joke at best.

I shook my head once more, walked over to the boys, who were smiling and talking as if nothing had happened and demanded we go back to the ship, after all, time was not on our side.

Annabeth's POV:

Watching Percy fight was like…. poetry. He moved the way most people breathed, effortlessly and without conscious thought. He was graceful without wasting energy on pointless twirls and showmanship, he was, for lack of a better word, beautiful.

Watching him fight, I could barely focus on Jason, who was the best damn fighter I had ever seen. There was a hardness to Percy, as if he had experienced battles we had only imagined. He moved as if his life depended on it, because someday, it might.

His eyes though, those captured my attention far more than anything else. They had hardened, gone was the soft, playful gaze, gone were the calm, entrancing orbs. It was as if there was a layer of hard, frozen crystal over the pupils of his eyes that I thought looked like an endless expanse of sea.

When before he was like water, soft, malleable, nourishing, now he's like a stalactite, sharp, cold and fatal at a moment's notice.

He looks like a daydream and fights like a nightmare and not for the first time, I wonder how the hell have I forgotten someone like him.

I look towards Piper who seems to be thinking about Jason, and a soft smile touches my lips. They may not know it yet, but they're both obviously attracted to each other. When Piper goes over to talk to them, I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy at how easily she and Percy seem to connect.

Then I feel angry at myself for feeling jealousy because PERCY MEANS NOTHING TO ME. "Yeah right, and Zeus is faithful to Hera." My brain responds.

We head back to the Argo II and tell everyone else about our encounter with Lord Cabernet aka Bacchus. When we tell them about Percy and Jason's little misunderstanding, everyone seems understandably excited. Frank and Hazel keep muttering about how they wanted to see the fight while Leo is constantly bugging me and Percy to tell him who won.

For all his flaws, Percy has never sought attention and unlike most things where he is naturally stupid, he understands that talking about who won and everything would only serve to lower Jason's authority and make him lose respect. So, they remain tight lipped about the result.

"He's…. not that bad." I think to myself.

"Then why did you forget all about him? I mean, you seem to remember Luke with perfect clarity, don't you?" my mind whispers.

I think about how Percy always seems kind of sad and wistful around me, about how even Piper doesn't talk to me as freely about him, or the way Leo keeps trying to cheer Percy up when I say something, completely oblivious of the effect it has on him.

I don't want to hurt him, I realize. Heck, I don't even want to be a stranger. He has this…aura about him, this gravity that just pulls people towards him. He's unfailingly kind, if a little snarky, he doesn't even entertain the possibility that simply walking away from the quest will be better for his safety, and he has never treated me with anything but decorum and respect, even if I can see it's difficult for him.

I hate myself for making him feel like this, and even though I know they would never say it outright, I know Piper and Leo feel bad for Percy because of something I did. In fact, it has only been a week and Hazel considers him her brother, and Frank has been hanging out with him a lot.

I go back to my cabin, still thinking about him and decide to catch up on some rest as I can clearly not focus on anything else.

"Wake up." I hear a voice say.

"Leave me alone" I mumble before going back to sleep.

"Nope, Wise Girl, I am not letting you miss dinner."

Wise Girl…where have I heard that name before I wonder to myself before sitting up straight. Because there is only one person who has called me that.

Percy fricking Jackson is in my room. "Oh schist" I think to myself.

I turn towards him and say in a colder voice than I wanted to "What are you doing in my room?"

He looks a little surprised at the animosity in my tone, but honestly after thinking about it so much, I just want to be away from him for a little while.

"I just did not want you to miss dinner Wise Girl, and the room is enchanted to show scenes from Camp Half Blood you know." He says, quietly.

I almost want to punch him for that. He knows how much I love Camp Half Blood and Chiron; he knows while I don't. I know nothing about him apart from what I have seen.

"I'm not your girlfriend Kelp Head, you don't have to do all of this for me, you don't have to come into my room and wake me up just so that I can have some stupid food." I say.

He looks hurt then and says, "I care about you Annabeth Chase." Nothing more. Just that.

"Why do you even worry so much? Isn't it clear to you that I don't remember you? And I am a daughter of Athena, if I don't remember you or all the supposed adventures we had, then they must not have been very good right? It's not like I stopped you from becoming a god or anything for my sake, right?"

I don't know why my mouth is saying all of this while my brain keeps telling me to say sorry and my chest keeps squeezing tighter, and gods I can't breathe. I am a mess. I was angry and I said something I know I shouldn't have.

I just felt mad at the time, mad and tired of bearing everyone's expectations, that somehow, I'll magically regain my memories. I hate disappointing everyone, hate disappointing him and I just snapped.

What's worse than disappointing him is the face I see him make now.

"It's funny you say that Owl Head", and he says Owl Head with such….coldness that something inside me breaks.

"because it did happen. I turned down immortality, just because I thought we were more important. What a fool I was huh." He says bitterly.

. I had thought he was going to cry, but his eyes are like cold, unyielding steel while mine feel damp, my fragile control being all that prevents from crying right there in front of him.

And all I can do is stare at him in horror. Because he turned down eternal life, just to be with me. Coming from anybody else, I would've called them on their bluff. But when he says it, I feel the truth of it in my bones and suddenly a fleeting image, no, a sentence flashes in by brain.

"I'd hate to peak in my sophomore year."

I know I've made a mistake as he looks at me, a horrible sort of deadness in his eyes. His eyes seem muted, fractured, the ever-present glow I have become used to vanishes and he says with an air of finality "I'll leave now."

And then he does just that, he walks to the door, turns to look at me once, and leaves.

And I feel something I have not felt in ages – sharp, crushing regret.

I sit down on the floor with my arms around my knees, and I do the only thing I can do then, I cry.

Author's Note: Whoa! I have to say writing this chapter felt good, and it sort of shows that while none of the characters are perfect, none of the relationships are either. There are bound to be troubles in paradise, but rest assured, they will come out stronger than ever before. Hope all of you like this and review!