Paul shivered inwardly despite the sweltering heat as he finally reached his isolated dwelling. The house wasn't much to look at, but it was tolerable, though he'd never call it home. Home was a thousand miles away, safe and sound due to his continued absence.

A thousand miles, and at times, it seemed like a lifetime away. He slapped at a mosquito on his neck, and then rubbed at the burning sensation the bite had left. It stung, but it was nothing compared to the ache that swelled in his heart whenever he remembered the haunted look in Peter's eyes on that horrible night. It was indelibly etched upon his soul, and forever bound him to the man he loved as his own son.

Flesh and blood couldn't have created a stronger bond between them. That thought made Paul smile at its simple honesty. 'You've got to stop focusing on the negative. Focus on the positive. Like the love you share with Annie, the girls, and Peter. That's where your strength will always lie.'

He sighed and plopped down on the steps leading to the porch. The constant risk of flooding in the area had all of the houses built on stilts or elevated in some way. He had been lucky enough to find a house with real stairs and not a ladder.

The thought of climbing a ladder to get into his house lacked any sort of appeal. So did dwelling on his loved ones, he decided as he sighed again. The thought of them always led to other thoughts of loss, regret, and remorse. Occasionally, there was no escaping the emotions, so he would allow them to run their course, working through them until he could lock them away again.

Annie floated in his mind's eye and he smiled without meaning to. She always had such a solid, intuitive way with Peter, and never struggled for the proper thing to say to him like he did. Paul got better at it later on, but in those early days, it was so hard to know what to do with Peter. Paul's heart told him to take one course of action while his mind dictated another and the two factions were constantly at war inside of him.

Paul let out a long breath as he stood outside of what passed for home now. Maybe this struggle of not knowing what the right thing to do was always the way between fathers and sons. At least, that was how his own father had described it to him years after he had grown from a teenager to a man.

He smiled as he thought of how Paul's father might have interacted with Peter if they had ever met in person. He imagined the two would have taken to each other as kindred spirits. A meeting that he would have given anything to see, for it would have been a gift beyond measure.

Paul was still imagining Peter meeting his foster grandfather for the first time as he pushed open the front door and walked into his house. He froze when he found the place had been ransacked in the short time he'd been away. He drew his weapon immediately as his gaze swept the room for any sign of lingering danger.

He searched the small residence and confirmed the fact that he was alone. Next, he looked for any hidden dangers, like explosives or surveillance devices. He didn't stop searching until he was sure that he had been visited by common thieves, and not very good ones at that.

They had taken his duffle bag, containing clothes and a few other items of possible resale value, but they had missed the mother lode. Namely, his suitcase, which had been hidden away behind the icebox. The small valise held his laptop, important paperwork and spare cash. The stolen items were unimportant and could be easily replaced.

Paul's previous agitation had mushroomed by the brush with unexpected visitors. Not wasting any time, he grabbed the small suitcase and rounded up the remaining items the thieves had not considered valuable. He was in his jeep within minutes and headed south.

A screeching bird disturbed by Paul's reckless pace caused him to slow down a bit. He was alone on the road and there was no need for excessive speed. Still, he didn't stop for two more hours, pulling into another nondescript town before sunset. Once he looked the town over, he made a few stops, buying necessities and asking about possible places to rent. Soon, he had another place where he could stay until it was time to move on again. He paid for a month in advance in cash and left to get settled in.

There was one advantage to his new residence. It had a diesel generator for electricity. It was a noisy thing, but a welcomed necessity. Still, he was leery of attack and sat in the dark for a while to make sure he was truly alone. He used a few gadgets Blake had given him, checking for electronic tracking devices on his jeep and his other possessions, unable to let go of the fact that the thieves who had ransacked his place could have just as easily been enemies sent to kill him.

Unable to justify another moment of paranoia, Paul turned on the generator and went to his laptop. His need for information on the outside world was strong that evening, stronger than it had been for a very long time.

He scanned the news headlines before going to check his anonymous e-mail account, drawing out the anticipation of news from home as long as he could. Very few, the trusted few, knew how to leave him an encrypted message, one that he, and only he, knew how to decipher.

Paul's heart leapt when he saw there was a message from Kermit. So many times, there had been nothing when he finally got around to checking the site for messages. Then again, no news was often good news.

Opening it up, he was disappointed to see only three lines. He comforted himself in the knowledge that Griffin's e-mails were always succinct, to the point of being miserly.

Paul's heart began to pound again when he deciphered those three lines. His voice trembled as he read them aloud, as if saying them aloud would diminish the danger involved in their meaning.

'Peter shot by murder suspect this AM. He'll be fine. Annie's with him and wanted you to know.'

"Damn," he cursed softly as he stared at the monitor. "Is that why you've been on my mind so much today, Peter?"

Paul rubbed his eyes, trying to assimilate the new information, but it seemed to stick in his craw. "Still getting into trouble, I see," he said as he shut off the computer.

Whirling around, he threw his fists up into the air and shouted, "Dammit, Peter, when will you learn to take better care of yourself?"

The shout echoed impotently inside the one room house, but the echo in his soul still resonated with the raw emotions raging within. Squeezing his eyes shut, he consciously pulled the intense feelings back inside and managed to tuck them away as he whispered, "Thank God, you're okay at least."

He walked outside, forcing himself to pace the veranda in an effort to avoid breaking down in tears. How could three little lines tear at his soul so? That boy had found a way into his heart almost from the first moment they'd met, and now he had a lock on him that could never be broken.

Paul came to a stop, and leaned against the railing. From Peter's first nightmares so long ago to now, the worry and fear he felt for his son never eased. Even though his mind had come to accept the fact that Peter would probably always be involved in life-threatening situations, his heart could never willingly accept the injuries that usually accompanied the risk.

For to do that, he'd have to stop caring about Peter, have to stop loving him like he did. No, that wasn't going to happen in this lifetime, nor the next. He was so intent in considering the rare bond he held with Peter that the growing noises of the awakening nightlife faded into nothingness, mostly because he wasn't really there in that jungle any longer.

He was with Annie and Peter and the others back home. That dreadful night with Peter and Carolyn called upon him again, and he was lost in that netherworld where past events unfolded around him as if they were happening for the first time again.

oOoOoOoOo

Paul glanced up from Annie's side to see a very grim expression settle on Kyle Coster's face as he paused. The leader of the local search-and-research team looked as if he wasn't fully awake yet, but the gravity surrounding the missing children quickly corrected that fact. It took all Paul had not to bolt from the assembled group of volunteers and go off searching alone again, but he stayed for Annie's sake.

There was also Kelly to consider. She had barely left his side since he'd returned to the house. Nothing had turned up with the patrol cars searching the surrounding roads, so their last option was to send search parties out into the forest.

Annie squeezed his hand, dragging his attention back to her troubled expression. "Paul, your hands are like ice. Be sure to wear your gloves before you go out again," she whispered, trying not to distract the others from Kyle's speech as he finished briefing the group on what had happened and began assigning tasks to the team members.

Paul was warmly dressed by then, with layers of clothes to protect him from the elements, as were the other volunteers. The cold in his hands came from a chill in his heart, a chill created by the constant worry of what would happen to the kids if they weren't found soon.

"I'll be fine," he responded.

A rush of worried anger sent his gaze darting away from her, even though he knew she couldn't possibly see his dark expression. "Dammit, Peter and Carolyn don't have any gloves! No socks. No shoes. Nothing!"

Annie pressed her face into his neck. "I know, Paul, but we have to believe they are okay."

Paul looked up in time to see a familiar face appear at the rear of the group and he nodded once in acknowledgment. He turned back to Annie and hugged her again. "It's time for me to go."

Annie didn't let go of him right away, but when she did, it was with resigned reluctance. "Yes, it is. Do you want me to tell Kyle where you've gone looking?"

Paul shook his head. "No, I already spoke to him."

He started to leave when he noticed Kelly watching him with tear-filled eyes. "Can I go with you, Daddy? I'm really good at hide-and-seek. I can find them. I know I can."

Paul knelt down beside her and pulled her into his arms, giving her a good long hug. "No, honey, I'm sorry, but the way I'll be traveling would be too hard on you."

Kelly choked back a sob. "It's my fault, Daddy. I should have stopped Peter before he left the house."

Paul had Kelly in another hug before he realized it. He pulled back slightly and allowed his gaze to stare deep into Kelly's eyes. "No, honey, it's nobody's fault. Peter just had a bad dream. That's all. We'll find both of them and bring them home soon, okay?"

Kelly nodded and took Annie's proffered hand. "Okay, Daddy. Just be careful. Billy Thompson says there's bears and wolves out there at night that eat little kids like me. They might eat grown-ups like you, too."

Paul grimaced. It looked like it was time to have another talk with Billy Thompson about the scary stories he told his daughters when he babysat for them.

He stared down into the angelic expression of his youngest, trying so hard to be brave, trying so hard to be strong for her parents. The swell of pride he felt for the little one who had just volunteered to go out to search for Peter grew, especially when factoring in the risk of encountering bears and wolves that ate kids like her.

Paul tousled her hair and turned to walk away. "Take care of your mom for me, okay?"

She nodded in her little way, but added, "Daddy, Scooby must be with them, because he's gone, too."

Her words pulled him back to her as he glanced over to the backyard. "Gone?"

"Yeah, I can't find him anywhere."

Paul chewed on his lower lip as he took in the new information. Scooby, or Scooby Doo, as the girls had affectionately named him, was a large brown Labrador. The dog had become Carolyn's shadow wherever they went.

He should have noticed the dog's absence when he went out the back door earlier as he began the initial search for the children, but his mind was on Peter and Carolyn, and not the family pet. If Carolyn had gone out in the middle of the night, Scooby was sure to have been at her side.

For some reason, that thought allowed him to breathe a little easier, knowing she had reliable canine company watching over her. "Don't worry, honey. If he's with Carolyn, that's a good thing."

Kelly nodded. Paul squeezed Annie's arm once more to let her know he was leaving, and Annie read the signal immediately. "Kelly, why don't we go inside and get things ready to make a big batch of hot chocolate for everyone when they get back?"

Paul left them to work his way to the rear of the group, searching for Kermit. The ex-merc slipped up beside him and fell in step. "Got your message. I put together what we might need and got over here as quickly as I could."

Paul nodded, motioning for Kermit to follow him as they headed into the forest. Kermit must have driven like a demon on amphetamines to get up the cabin so fast. Paul hoped he hadn't broken too many rules to get there, but then rules weren't something Kermit typically agonized over.

Griffin was already dressed for night work, and loaded with gear for the search. Kermit, if nothing, was always very well prepared. Once they were alone, Kermit glanced his way. "Anything else we should be considering here? Like, someone snatching the kids for a more sinister motive?"

Paul shook his head, as he pulled on the all-weather gloves Annie had given him, but he didn't slow down. They were on a mission to find the two kids, one that had to succeed. Thank heaven for Kermit's practicality, and for his ability to analyze, plan, and hopefully to locate their targets.

Paul gave Griffin a quick glance before he spoke. "No, I think Peter took off, following the dictates of his wakeful dream, and Carolyn is simply following him. The most dangerous factor here is the temperature. It's damned cold out here."

Paul paused, rubbing the back of his neck. "We've drilled it into both girls not to awaken Peter when he's having a nightmare, but this..."

"This is different," Kermit finished for him.

"Yes. Peter's never done anything like this before."

Kermit eyed the obvious swelling on Paul's forehead and remained silent as they moved along. "Yeah, well, according to what you've told me, he's never lived with a traditional family for any length of time. It could just be all of the new stuff threw him into a major nightmare."

As Paul considered Kermit's comment, the younger man smirked. "I know living with you would give me nightmares."

Paul laughed and shook his head. "We've certainly been through some hellish nightmares together."

"Oh yeah," Griffin said quietly, flipping on his flashlight as they entered heavier brush. "But it is an encouraging sign."

"What's that?" Paul asked.

"The fact you can still laugh at a moment like this. Even at my bad jokes." He slapped Paul on the back. "Don't worry, we'll find them."

Kermit pushed ahead, leaving Paul a pace behind him. Just how he had been blessed with friends like Kermit amazed him, but Paul was grateful for his good fortune nonetheless. Now, if it would only carry over into finding the two kids quickly, he'd never ask anything from life again.

oOoOoOoOo