Bleeding Heart

by SivanShemesh

"Are you sure? Maybe there is some other alpha out there for you?" Jace asked. "What other alpha?" Alec asked as he stared at the beta, and added, "I don't have a choice in that anymore, I'm without an Alpha, I'm more like pack less, someone that does not belong anywhere."

Bleeding Heart

Summary: "Are you sure? Maybe there is some other alpha out there for you?" Jace asked.

"What other alpha?" Alec asked as he stared at the beta, and added, "I don't have a choice in that anymore, I'm without an Alpha, I'm more like pack less, someone that does not belong anywhere."

Disclaimer: The fabulous work belongs to Cassandra Clare, thank you for creating the Shadow world.

Tags: A/B/O, angst, unrequited love, time loop, humor, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, miscommunication, kidnapped Alec, panic attacks, flashback, emotionally hurt Alec, PTSD Alec, Alpha Magnus, Beta - A Jace, Omega Alec, Blue eyes Alec

Written for Malec mini-bang

---

1/9

It all started when Magnus Bane came to the institute to fix the wards after the forsaken attack in which Alec was hurt. It was in the moment when he set his eyes on the warlock, it was clear to the shadowhunter that the warlock was an alpha, the way he spoke, the way he acted, and in that moment, Alec came to realize that he wanted to be his omega, he felt a click in his heart, but he could not tell if the alpha felt the same thing that he had.

"Thank you for fixing it." Alec thanked Magnus, but he did not know what to do next.

Magnus looked up and down Alec's body before staring at his face and asking, "Where should I send the bills?"

"My parents will deal with it, Magnus, was it?" Alec asked.

"Yes, this is my name, and you are?" Magnus asked him.

"Alec Lightwood." Alec replied, as he noticed the that the warlock took a step back from him.

"Wait, are you all right?" Alec asked as he tried to come closer, but the warlock was much faster than him as he walked toward to the door.

"I'm fine, I'll send them the bills, goodbye Alexander." Magnus left a confused shadowhunter behind, the Lightwood family caused him lots of pain in the past and he certainly did not want to add another pain in the present, even though Alexander was quite a handsome man, and even acted different than any Lightwood he ever encountered, but he could not tell yet if he was an omega or a beta, something did not seem right with the young man.

"Wait…" Alec called but to no avail as the warlock went beyond his reach while he whispered, "My name is Alec, not Alexander."

---

"I don't think it will ever work between us, Jace." To say that his parabatai was pissed was an understatement, because Alec was not one to show his anger.

"Why? What made you to say that?" Jace asked.

"After I met Magnus the other day, I could feel him checking me out, but when I told him my name, he walked away," Alec replied, feeling frustrated, as he added, "He is the one for me, I just know it, but considering what life taught me so far, I can't have what I want, and Jace, I don't see another way since I'm the omega, and only he can claim me."

"Are you sure? Maybe there is some other alpha out there for you?" Jace asked.

"What other alpha?" Alec asked as he stared at the beta, and added, "I don't have a choice in that anymore, I'm without an Alpha, I'm more like pack less, someone that does not belong anywhere."

"Don't say that, Alec, you have family and friends, you are not alone in this, you need to remember it, parabatai." Jace said and hugged him closer and then he let him go.

"I don't see it any other way." Alec said and lowered his head, in sadness.

"Don't you dare give up on him, who knows, he may surprise you yet." Jace came closer to his parabatai, trying to make him look positively at the things, so he will not lose hope.

"Fine, but I really hope that it will work, if not, I need plan B." Alec told him as he left the institute to head over to Magnus, he hoped that there was a chance for him.

"Good luck, parabatai, don't lose hope." Jace told him and sent him some strength through the parabatai rune.

"Wait, what do you mean about plan B?"

"ALEC, WHAT DO YOU MEAN ABOUT PLAN B?" Jace shouted to him, but he received no answers.

While he walked toward Magnus loft, he really hoped for the best, and wished that the alpha was single, that was something that he forgot to find out about the warlock when Alec saw him around the institute.

Once he knocked on Magnus' door, it opened as he saw the warlock staring at him as he asked the shadowhunter, "What do you want, shadowhunter?"

"Can we talk?" Alec asked, as he looked hesitantly at the alpha, not knowing why Magnus was acting so harshly toward him.

"Come on, speak quickly, don't let me wait much longer." Magnus replied, he was angry. The Lightwoods certainly left their mark on him through the years.

Alec opened his mouth to ask something, but found he could not say anything, he lost the words as he stood facing Magnus.

"What? You lost the words?" Magnus mocked him.

Magnus walked closer to him, his hands moving toward Alec, and the shadowhunter could feel the blue magic surrounded his body and the yellow one crept closer to his heart.

"You need to breath, Alexander, that is, if you want to speak." Magnus snickered at him.

"I… I know." Alec spoke, not knowing why he lost his breath as soon as he was near the alpha.

Then, the realization hit the shadowhunter, the alpha said his name.

"You remembered my name." Alec mumbled.

"Of course, why shouldn't I?" Magnus asked, smiling at him.

In that moment, Camille joined them as she walked straight over to the warlock and kissed him.

Alec knew that he lost any hope of getting the alpha he wanted.

Then when the kiss had ended, Camille turned around and asked Magnus, "What is the omega shadowhunter is doing here?"

"I'm sorry, I should go." Alec mumbled and left, feeling defeated, knowing that he lost any hope to find himself a match.

"Alexander, wait…" Magnus called as he walked after him.

"You are an omega?" Magnus asked in surprise.

"I am, but it does not matter, you should go back to your girlfriend." Alec told him and hurried away, running down the stairs, feeling lost, confused that the vampire was the one to reveal that he is an omega, while the alpha did not seem to find out before that.

Magnus watched him walk away, running from his loft and he could scent his feelings, the feeling of loss, the omega was defeated.

His instinct was to follow him and claim him as his omega, but his mind and heart were not on the same page.

Magnus could scent the beta on the shadowhunter, maybe his senses were clouded by the beauty that the shadowhunter had, he could not see and feel past that, the knowledge and the loss that appeared on omega saddened him, and Camille noticed it.

Camille looked at the warlock in suspicion, "Is there something that you want to tell me about?"

"Not until I know more." Magnus told her and walked toward the couch where his cat was purring and petted Chairman's fur.

Camille walked toward him but stopped as his cat snarled at her and showed his fangs, she hated that cat, and she could not understand how Magnus loved the cat in the first place.

"This cat is rude!" Camille told to the warlock in anger.

"No, my cat is a very good judge of character, and my cat may seem not to like you for some reason, I have no intention of ever getting rid of him, so you better come to terms with it."

Camille sighed heavily, "I better be going then, I need to check on my clan anyway."

"Would you prefer that I portal you? The sun is still outside."

"That would be lovely, my dear Magnus." Camille kissed him before she walked through the portal.

2/9

As Alec wandered the streets in the dark, he felt that the energy drained from him, and he needs something to loosen him up, so he thought that maybe he could go on solo hunt to get some weight off his shoulders, since he could not see himself being in love ever again, shadowhunters loved one fiercely, and he knew that Magnus was the one for him.

Alec walked toward the institute, he knew that on the way there, he might come across some demons, they were always there, but in different locations each time.

The phone rang, Alec answered to a concerned Jace, "I'm fine, Jace."

"No, you are not, let me know where you are." Jace demanded through the phone.

"I… can't, I'll see you in the institute." With that Alec turned off his phone.

Jace shouted to him not to do it, but all he heard was the busy dial tone, Jace was on edge, he could feel the sadness and broken heart through the bond, he knew how much Alec wanted the alpha, and he truly believed that his parabatai was going to do something reckless.

Jace tried to call him through the parabatai bond, but it was to no avail.

"Izzy, I need your help." Jace called, he felt lucky that Izzy did not leave to go dancing or retired to bed already.

"What is it, brother?" Izzy asked, and then she looked around to see where her big brother was, but he was not in the operations room, "Where's Alec?"

"Alec will need our help, he went to fight alone, but I fear that he will put his life in risk, especially when he is in that condition." Jace replied.

"What do you mean?" Izzy asked as she walked toward the weapons room and geared herself.

"Let's just say that I felt it through the parabatai rune, that he was sad and heartbroken, and I just felt that he was going to get hurt, I mean that I felt that he was hurt from something and needed to let off some steam." Jace replied to her.

"All right, let's go, we might find him walking like nothing happened, maybe we can have a drink and have some sibling time." Izzy suggested, she felt like she needed her brother to be closer, and support him more, lately she did not see that happening. They needed some bonding time.

The drinks could wait, they were going to have to find Alec first, and they were worried, the first clue was the broken arrowhead that was left on the floor, the second clue was a spot of blood, something was definitely was not right, Jace wished that his brother would open the link so they could save him from whatever threat was out there to hurt him.

Jace had a very bad feelings that he might need help from some other source, someone that his brother would not like, but he would do anything to find him, even if that meant he will ask Magnus Bane to come and track him, they all knew how the warlock tracking was always stronger than parabatai tracking.

"Izzy, we've got to go and find Magnus, right now he is the only one that can track Alec, and Alec is not responding and that's what scares me the most." Jace turned to face his sister, they both had the same look, look of fear for their brother, who was now missing and was probably in grave danger, and they had no idea who caused this, there were no traces of demons, none that they could see in any case.

Something was wrong, terribly wrong.

---

Somewhere in a basement…

There are many kinds of demons, some they were killing on daily basics, some were just humans that were being evil to each other, and demons with which Alec was dealing daily in his life. Life was not a lemonade for him.

He was trying to move his hands but found them shackled to the wall.

Alec knew that he was trapped, his shirt was torn. He could smell his own blood seeping from his wounds, it hurt, and his stele was lying broken on the floor, when he screamed for help, he received a beating, Alec took the beating, but never stopped shouting for help, not until he lost conscious, only to be waken later by a man delivering another kick to his bruised body.

His weapons were lying on the floor, useless like him, he was vulnerable and felt worthless, and he had no pack that could protect him from whoever took him, but he could sense that it was not a demon of any kind, this one was different.

This one was a mundane, that could see him through the glamour, and that scared him.

He could catch only a glimpse, not knowing what was real through the pain and his bouts of losing consciousness, not knowing who the mundane was, or even if he was a mundane and why did he take him?

But he would not let the mundane see him in fear as he kept shouting, in hope that someone will hear his voice and come to rescue him, until he could feel his throat constricting in pain and he could feel that thirst, and it itched.

"No one will come to rescue you, shadowhunter," the mundane told him and added in a mocking tone, "Yes, I know what you are, and I thought that you would be stronger with great reflexes, but I guess I was wrong, unless, of course, you are the weakest of them all."

The mundane came closer to him and asked as he stared at his eyes, "Are you the weakest of them all?"

Alec did not flinch as the mundane moved a dagger closed to his skin, did not move as it sliced his cheek, the blood trickled down his face, he could taste the metal as blood got to his lips.

"Trying to be tough, huh?" The mundane mocked him, smiling at him.

The mundane moved and put the dagger somewhere else, Alec tried to move but found that his legs were also bound, his legs felt numb, they must have been bound for so long that he could feel only his top body, and wondered what the mundane did to him, and how come he was not feeling his lower body.

"Oh, are you not feeling your legs?" the mundane mocked him, grinning at him as he took another tool which Alec found it was one of his arrows, and the point of the arrow was smeared with something that he did not know.

"It may kill you or it may do something else… now why won't we check it, shadowhunter?"

He stabbed the arrow into the shadowhunter's leg which caused Alec to scream for help, as it burned, sending flames through his body, he could swear that he saw stars and then he welcomed the darkness, oblivious to what his body got hit with.

His body was beaten, bruises in blue and black, his blood was all over him, he was growing weaker and weaker as the time passed by, the mundane not even once saying his name, Alec wished to know who he was, so that he would arrange a slow death for him once he got free.

He was continently being tortured by the mundane, not knowing why his parabatai has not come to rescue him, he could feel that it was hours since he was caught by the mundane.

It felt like days passed on, but maybe just a day has passed by, he was too dazed to feel the surrounding, every time that he blinked, he endured more pain from the strange mundane, his throat was sore as he tried to scream but found it dry.

"No one will come for you, you weak shadowhunter," the stranger smirked at him and added snarling, "If they cared for you, they should have rescued you in the first hour I took you, and it's been four days, I guess that you are not that important to them and to your parabatai, you are no one, remember my words, useless shadowhunter."

It has been days, and night passed much more slowly, Alec knew that he was right, he felt useless and broken, damaged goods, now no alpha would ever want him, or lay their eyes on him.

He knew that once he was found, Jace was going to rant to him about hunting alone in this mood, although Jace was doing that all time, Alec wondered where he went wrong, and why all the bad things were happening to him, he just wanted to be happy and feel like he was wanted somewhere and belong.

Maybe he was not suited to be happy and all. After all the other omegas found their own alphas or betas, and he was alone, maybe it was better this way, or maybe his part in this would be end in the basement, that way everyone will get what they wanted. The last memory before he blacked out, was seeing Magnus kissed by the vampire.

Several minutes later, Alec was blinking, trying to adjust to the light as he tried to move his hand to block it, he could hear noises, but found himself blacking out again, the pain was overwhelming and the heat was suffocating.

3/9

The next time that he opened his eyes, Alec could hear his siblings and the soft voice of the warlock, and his heart sang within him, but he said no words, that is until Jace noticed that he was awake.

"Alec, how are you feeling?" Jace asked him.

Alec swallowed a lump and closed his eyes, not knowing if he could reply, he still could feel the heat suffocating him, his breathing became erratic, he could feel that there was something or someone sitting on his chest and he could not breath.

He thought that he heard the alpha speaking in the background, but his mind could not process the sentences.

"You need to calm him down, Jace, I think that he has a panic attack." Magnus told the blond shadowhunter.

Alec felt a warm hand over his arm, "You are all right, brother, you are safe, you are in the Institute."

Alec tried to calm his heart and opened his eyes to see Jace looking at him with concern on his face.

"Parabatai, don't ever do that to me again." Jace glared at him and his voice became softer again as he moved his hand to caress Alec's face and added, "I thought that I lost you, I'm glad that Magnus could find you."

Alec turned to face the warlock, wanting to thank him, but found that he lost his voice.

"No need to thank me, shadowhunter, and you need to get your voice back the mundane way, your body also need time to heal, even if you are using the stele." Magnus advised him and with a wave of his hand a warm tea was beside the bed on the table.

Alec has so many questions to ask, but it they will have to remain unanswered, at least until he could regain his voice again.

Alec nodded at him and noticed that the warlock was walking away with Isabelle joining him as Jace stayed with him in the infirmary room.

Jace walked and sat on the bed, his hand cradling Alec's face as he tried to keep himself calm while he spoke to his brother, "It was foolish act to do brother, I know that I'm doing the same, but as a beta I know not to cross some lines, and I know my limitations, killing demons when I'm pissed, it helps me to relax, you on the other hand, enjoy doing something else, not killing demons when you are feeling blue, and you know that."

Alec nodded, he knew what he meant, he felt such low esteem at that moment, and felt the need for it, even if it will kill him in the process.

Jace bit his lips as he scanned his brother's face, he noticed the sadness that marked him, "Next time when you feel bad, my door is always open if you need to talk brother, I'm here for you."

Alec nodded and closed his eyes, he could not bring himself to drink the tea from Magnus, he needed to rest.

"I'll let you rest, parabatai, we will be there when you open your blue eyes again." Jace told him.

Next time when Alec was awake, besides Isabelle and Jace were a red haired woman, and a boy with the eyeglasses staring at him.

"Who is he again?" Simon asked.

"It's Alec, their big brother." Clary replied to her friend.

Alec felt very uncomfortable with them in the infirmary room, he enjoyed the silence until they showed up in his face and with no warning. Alec closed his eyes again, trying to pretend that he was still sleeping.

"Alec, I'm your parabatai, I know that you are awake, you know that, right?" Jace asked him, and watched as Alec opened his eyes, then he added, "I want to introduce you, these are Clary and Simon."

"…" Alec tried to speak but his throat still hurt, and Jace took the cue to give his parabatai the tea that was in the cup.

"You need to drink the tea, it's what the warlock recommended for your health, if you want to speak, and I know that you want to say something." Jace grinned at him as helped his parabatai to hold the cup.

Alec sipped from the tea, and then he tried to keep his calm even though his hands still shook as he held the cup.

Jace took the cup from his hands and settled it on the tray besides the table and then told his brother, "You did good, Alec."

Alec nodded at him and then he looked at the confused look of the newbies that were talking softly with Izzy, he felt he did not belong with them, not knowing why they talked about him while he was still in the room, he could hear his name being mentioned more than once.

"Alec, it's ok, we are just explaining to them that you were hurt in the hunt and you lost your voice, you don't need to feel embarrassed about it, brother." Izzy told him with a smile.

Alec wished that he could tell her, that she could mind her business and about what happened to him should not be out in the open in front of them, the mundanes. The eldest shadowhunter felt helpless as he was without his voice, his body although he presumed that Jace used the iratze rune to heal him, his body was still weak, although Alec did not felt any change, his body felt the same.

He wished that he could speak and ask what the mundane did to him, and why the stele did not seem to be working and where were his weapons, but the questions which kept accumulating will have to wait.

Jace went to speak with the mundanes while Izzy stayed on his bedside and talked to him, but Alec was not interested to hear her words, he was too tired.

A few minutes later, Jace called for Izzy and told his parabatai, that he hoped that he could hear him, even though Alec closed his eyes, they had another mission and they were taking the mundanes with them, keeping them safe, and he should rest some more.

Alec felt like he was the one that was shoved aside as the mundanes seemed to take his place with his siblings, and he was feeling pitiful not having a voice to speak his mind about it.

"He doesn't look so happy, does your brother never smile?" Simon asked, and Alec felt even more hurt and alone.

He could smile when he had a good reason to smile about.

Being omega sucked, he could feel the pain even when he did not show it for all to see, Alec felt so alone and friendless, he was envious of his brother and sister as they were more vocal and could socialize with everyone, while he was even as omega, shy and loved the peace and quiet and to follow the rules.

Alec leaned over to take the cup of tea to sip more, but his hands were shaking, and they were still hurting, the cup of tea fell from his shaky hands and broke on the floor, the puddle of tea spilling all over the floor.

The omega shadowhunter felt so vulnerable, he wondered what his parents will say about him when they saw him, he knew that they were in Idris and he was the one that was left in charge, but he could imagine what they will say to him when they came, and Alec knew that they won't be pleased.

Raj entered the infirmary and noticed for the first time that Alec was there, he told him with a snarl as he smiled at him, "I did not even know that you are here, your parents are here, I'll let them know where you are."

Well, he did not need to wait that long, his parents will be here shortly, and he guessed that he would bring more disappointment to them.

Alec did not even like Raj at all, and now he was going to seal his fate, his parents were not going to be pleased at all.

"He is in there." Alec could hear Raj outside.

Maryse and Robert entered the infirmary like they owned everything in the Institute.

"Alec, Alec, Alec, I expected more from you," Maryse told him, she was not pleased with her son at all as she asked him with her demanding voice, "You are the one we left in charge, how could you let yourself be kidnapped and hurt?"

Alec looked at her, he could not speak back to her, his voice did not return yet.

Robert looked at his son with pity as he tried to understand what was going on with his son, where were his loyalty and responsibilities, even though he was presented as omega, they tried to let him see that he could achieve and become better, they wanted to show the clave, that even if he was an omega he could do better than an alpha.

Robert wandered when looking at his son now, maybe the clave was right, and an Omega could not do better than alpha.

When there was no response from her son who just took it all in silence, it made Maryse even more furious as he saw that she was glaring at him, and the vein in her neck was pulsing.

"Say something!" Maryse called, but her son only pointed at his throat.

"Your pathetic, why do you not use your runes for it, you… you…" Maryse was angry and gave him the look that she always used when she expected him to handle it.

"Alec, we expected better from you, maybe the clave was right after all." Robert told him harshly.

Alec lowered his head, believing that his parents were disappointed enough that he was an omega, and now this, he could feel the tears in his eyes, but he held them back, not wishing them to see his weakness even more, he did not wish to cry in front of them.

"Every other omega already found a mate, what about you?" Maryse asked.

"How come you lost your voice in a fight? Did you scream for someone to come and help you? You are a shadowhunter, by the angel." Robert asked as he noticed that his son did not say one word.

Alec raised his head and looked at his father as he nodded.

"This is no son of mine, Robert, we should have left him in Idris when we discovered that he was an omega. Jace and Izzy are bringing us more joy than he does every day that he is here." Maryse spoke in disgust toward him, not sparing a look at him.

Robert simply said to Alec, "Once you are mated, leave the Institute, Izzy is going to take your role as the head of the Institute."

His parents left him after that, Alec felt hurt and alone. Sometimes he cursed himself for being an omega, but he could not change it.

The shadowhunter knew that he will never take that role as the head of the Institute again. Never, and it hurt him a lot.

Alec knew that his parents will see him a lot in the Institute, because it will take time for him to find a mate in the first place, other shadowhunters alphas don't even pay him any attention, and his heart was already set on the downworlders alpha who would never be his. He wandered if he was destined to be alone?

On the floor the puddle of tea grew stale and the shards of the cup just lay there, no one came by to check on Alec or see what was happening.

4/9

Alec felt like he was going to lose it soon, he could feel the love from the parabatai rune, but he knew that his brother was targeting the mundane woman to be his, he had the feeling that Jace set his mind on the mundane woman, and his instincts were always right.

He had no one, not even one friend that would come and be with him.

Alec lay on the bed, and before he closed his eyes, he truly believed that everyone just wished that he was dead, their look toward him, it was like someone has buried a dagger into his heart and twisted it, and he did not feel as if he belonged with them anymore.

A few hours later, when he woke up, he could see Jace besides him, and the others sitting near the bed.

"Everything is all right, parabatai, do you want to drink more of the tea?" Jace asked him.

Alec blinks and nodded to him, he felt like a child and being treated by adults, but he knew that he should take all the help he could get, not having a voice and after surviving the attack upon him before he was saved, his hands shook more from anger than anything else.

Jace noticed that Alec was staring at the floor, as he spoke to him, "Everything is all right, Alec, the floor is cleaned, no one got hurt from the shards, and you even got yourself a new cup."

Jace took the cup and helped his brother to sip from it and then put the cup back on the tray.

Jace then took his shaking hands and held them, "You need to calm down brother, I can feel your pain and anger through our rune."

Alec lowered his head and closed his eyes, trying not to cry in front of them, they deserved a better brother than him, and he also wondered why his parents did not move him to Idris, by staying with them he could be kept out of troubles, and it was not as if he could save anyone that was in trouble, not anymore, anyway.

"Don't think about it, parabatai, you can let go and cry," Jace held his brother, as Alec's head rested against Jace's chest, Jace added apologizing, "I'm sorry that I couldn't be there in time when Maryse and Robert came to your room, I know that you were in pain, I could feel it through the rune, but I couldn't be there in time, and I'm sorry that you were alone with them."

Alec stared at his brother, he wanted to say that it was all right, but he guessed that Jace could read him through the parabatai rune, "It is not all right, Alec, I wish we knew, but I couldn't be there in time, Magnus summoned a demon to restore Clary's memory, and I, we were so busy closing that deal, and I…"

Alec moved his hand to his lips, he did not want him to say what happened next, it was enough that he heard the warlock name from his brother that he did not wish to hear more of it.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Jace asked.

Alec bit his lips as he nodded, he did not felt comfortable looking at the others just yet.

Jace and the others stayed with Alec for several hours until they were called by their parents, leaving Alec alone with his thoughts, and the memories of what he went through.

He has been having flashbacks that came and went every time that he felt his skin burn, every time that he made the wrong move or even felt the heat suffocating him, he could hear the words that the unknown mundane who kidnapped him told him, he knew that his kidnapper was right, after all who will take him as an omega, he was damaged goods, and he still had no idea what was in the arrow with which he stabbed him, and that scared him.

On the next day he was discharged from the infirmary, his voice was not back yet, and his body was covered in scars. Alec received Jace's stele as his brother got a new one.

Weeks had passed by and Alec felt like he only stood and talked when someone asked from him, he felt so alone in the Institute.

He was ordered to stay in the Institute and not do any patrols, he was watched by his parents and his siblings in everything that he did, Alec's hands were still unstable, he could not control his body properly, especially when the his hands started shaking.

Alec could feel the heat in his body, he could feel like his body was burning from the inside, his back hurt a lot, and that caused him to sweat. Alec felt helpless, he saw how his mother glared at him, his father looked at him with concern, and Jace wanted to comfort and reach out to him only to be stopped by Maryse.

Alec knelt on the floor, trying to calm his heart, but the shaking in those hands of his, never stopped.

"Go to your room and stay there, Alec, you are of no use to us." Maryse ordered her son.

"Jace, Isabelle, take a group of shadowhunters, you have mission to do, and Jace, send Clary to my office." Maryse told them, not sparring another look toward Alec who walked slowly to his room.

Alec locked the door to his room, not wishing to face anyone, he was already feeling low about himself, and now, he just felt like he was trapped in what was supposed to be his safest place in the world, and he felt so alone.

It was obvious to him now that his parents were showing more love and respect to his siblings and their friends than they ever shown him, he knew it.

Alec tried to sleep but it was of no use, his voice still did not come back yet and it terrified him, he wondered if there was some magic that could bring his voice again, since the mundane tea did not help him at all. His nightmares of what happened to him still appeared every time that he tried to sleep, and they were getting worse, and he was growing tired, and longed to get a proper sleep.

He could not see the face of the one that had kidnapped him, sometimes his mind took a glimpse of the face of the rogue shadowhunter, if he was a shadowhunter, he did not know, but the fact that whoever it was noticed him as a shadowhunter lit a bulb in his head, but he could not make it clearly in his mind.

The tip of the dagger marked his chest and left open wounds to accompany the ones that it left hours before, his hands were numb from the shackles, leaving marks on his wrists… it hurt so much.

Every time that he closed his eyes and got some sleep, he woke with startling scream as he actually could feel the knife piercing his skin, the hurt, the smirking from the rogue shadowhunter that did not reveal his name to him.

Another week passed by, he was not requested to join others on operations anymore, and was still in his bed, barely eating anything that could stay in his stomach for long, and his voice did not come back to him.

A few days later Jace came to him while he was in the room, he came to try and bring some comfort to his brother who was suffering in silence, Robert told Jace his concerns about Alec, and Jace tried to be there for him, and to see that he also ate properly and got some sleep.

Jace noticed Alec's bloodied and sleepless eyes as he looked at him, the clothes that his brother wore looked loose on him, and Jace was worried that Alec was not taking care of himself, not since he was kidnapped.

"Alec, you need to sleep and eat, it has been a few weeks since you were discharged from the infirmary, you should be up and patrolling with me and the others." Jace told him.

Alec tried to speak but only ended coughing which made Jace look with concern as he pulled out his phone and dialed to the warlock, and Alec could hear Jace's side as he spoke to him.

"Magnus, the tea is not helping him at all, did you have anything stronger for him?"

"Let me know when it's done, I'll be there, and oh, Magnus, do you have something strong for him to sleep as well?"

"No, the stele did not seem to be working on him any more than before, I guess that the one that kidnapped him did something to him."

"Keep me updated, yeah, all right, I'm bring Alec with me."

Alec looked at him, he did not want to face the warlock, but Jace did not seem to care that much for what he wanted right now.

"Don't worry brother, I will be there with you, and you know that the magic and potions of the warlock could help you, besides, I miss hearing your voice, parabatai." Jace told him and gathered his parabatai in a tight hug.

"Alec, he is the High Warlock of Brooklyn, he is the most powerful warlock, he is the only one that can help you, the runes seemed to not help at all," Jace told him and then he ended asking his parabatai, "Do you trust me, parabatai?"

Alec nodded, he decided to just not stare at the warlock's eyes when he was there, he just hoped whatever he did would work.

5/9

He could sense how tired Alec seemed to be as he asked, "Nightmares?"

Alec nodded since he could not bring himself to sleep.

"It's all right, I can chase your nightmare away, I will be here with you as you sleep, like you were when I first joined your family, now sleep!"

Alec smiled a bit and rested his head on the pillow, he tried to relax before he closed his eyes but several minutes later he could feel Jace's strong arms holding him close while he told him something that he could not put his mind on, he could feel his eyes blinking but could see nothing but blurred images as he closed his eyes again and tried to sleep.

Jace lay besides him in the bed, and watched his brother's with concern, he knew that his brother suffered a lot during the time he was kidnapped, not that he ever spoke about what he went through, but the pain and everything that went between him and the kidnapper was obvious.

They never found the one that kidnapped their brother, when they came to rescue him, they saw Alec's blooded body, he looked so lifeless, the broken stele was on the floor, he was shackled in both legs and hands to the wall, there were blood marks beneath the shackles, his arrows were next to him, marked with his blood and something that smelled awful.

Jace looked at his brother, he could feel through the parabatai rune, the anger, the fear and the loneliness and it hurt him that he could not be there when his brother needed him the most.

Jace noticed how Maryse treated the oldest brother and him and Izzy and Max when the little brother joined the parents in New York.

Jace noticed that they showed more love toward them than they did toward Alec, and his brother would never say anything, even though he could see in his face how much it hurts.

He spent the rest of the day with his brother, the nightmare appears more severe than he expected it to be, his voice still did not come back, and he was growing concerned.

The scars of the last event could be shown on his body, and the hidden scars that his brother kept, he wished that his brother would share the details once his voice came back and he could talk and share the details of what he went through, so they all knew how to treat the hidden scars that were left in the dark, and then Alec could move on with his life and find himself an alpha who will treat him with care and love.

The last thing that Alec needed was alpha who was careless and will abuse him, and Jace took it upon himself to be the one that will help his brother to make the right choice for it.

Jace hoped that Magnus will have the potions soon and it would help his brother to regain his voice, and the potion for sleep, so he could sleep better with no nightmares.

The rest of the night was clearly not good for Alec as he kept waking up minus the screaming, but the look on his face, the fear that could be seen clearly on his face and his shaking hands gave testament to the horror he was still facing.

In the morning Jace received a phone call from Magnus that told him that he could come and collect the potions with Alec later.

Alec heard that Jace asked the warlock if the sleep potion was strong enough since his brother had lots of nightmares.

"Okay, I will come with Alec later, thanks Magnus, I owe you one."

Jace looked at his brother with a smile as he said, "Well, brother, I suppose that you'll come with me to Magnus, and I hope that his potions will help you to get more sleep and most important of all, your voice."

Alec nodded, but did not smile at him, as much as his heart yearned for love, he knew that he will never get love, the warlock had someone else, better than him, and he looked happy.

Jace left his room, knowing that he had missions, worried about the fact now his brother was ordered to stay in the room, alone and defenseless if his parents came to him unannounced.

Hours passed by, later, as darkness embark in the sky, Jace entered to Alec room to find him resting, his eyes still looked bloodied with black circles around them, his rest was sleepless, and Jace could not tell if his brother was eating properly, even though Robert kept him updated but for the last week, his adopted father kept him in the dark, and Jace left not knowing what state his brother was at, not having his voice so Alec could say what was wrong with him, was not helping to sort the issue.

"Alec, we need to go to Magnus." Jace told him as he watched his brother leave the bed only to stumble down, his muscles did not seem strong enough, and Alec looked so fragile in his eyes.

Jace texted on his phone, as he could not see that his brother could walk all the way to Magnus' loft, Magnus would have to wait for them outside the Institute, there was no other option.

"Let me help you, Magnus can portal us once we are outside." Jace told him and he could see the relief in Alec's face.

Jace helped Alec to stand and held him steady as they walked slowly and left the institute to see Magnus waiting for them outside.

Alec could feel that he was being watched by the warlock but did not dare to look as he and his brother walked through the portal and Magnus walked after them.

When they were in the loft, Jace led his brother to rest on the couch as he conversed with the warlock.

Magnus turned around to scan the omega body, he could see the paleness of his skin, the scars even if they were hidden beneath his clothes, his shirt hung loose on him, making him believe that the shadowhunter was not eating well, the black circles under his eyes, and the bloodied eyes, then he noticed the shadowhunter's hands, they were shaking.

"Alexander, I gave Jace the potions, you need to take the voice potions three times every day and try to speak each day, it will be rough but you need to have a voice to speak, and the sleep potion you take every day, if you need me to, I can sent texts to your phone, do you have a phone like your brother?" Magnus asked him.

Alec nodded and looked at Jace, confused, wondering what the warlock would need his number for.

"I think that his phone was left crushed and forgotten in that basement, I forgot to ask for a new one for him." Jace talked for him.

"Don't worry about it, here you can have this one." Magnus told them and with a wave of his hand, there was a mobile phone on the table besides Alec.

While Alec stared at the phone, not knowing if he should take it, Magnus's cat climbed on the couch next to him, butting his head over the shadowhunter and then resting his head over his knee.

Magnus watched with fascination as Chairman looked at the omega, like he was waiting for the shadowhunter to touch his fur.

Alec stared at the cat with surprise, as he moved his hand to pet the cat slowly, not wishing to harm him, and the cat purred to him.

Magnus smiled, surprised to see his cat acting this way toward the shadowhunter as he moved his hand toward the cat to pet it lightly, while his blue eyes focused on something and it looked like he was in the zone, and Jace noticed in that too.

The mundane had the same runes that he had on his body, Alec wondered if he was a shadowhunter in hiding, and why was he targeting him in the first place?

The way the mundane moved toward him, with a smug face, taking another arrow from the quiver, smearing it with something and then he stabbed him in the chest and pulled it out to hear the beaten shadowhunter screaming…

Jace hurried toward his brother, as he tried to calm him down, the cat jumped from him, meowing its way around the loft like it felt that there was something wrong with the shadowhunter.

"You are all right, Alec, it's ok, I'm here with you, you are safe." Jace told him and held his shaking hands.

Magnus looked with concern over the omega shadowhunter, knowing that he can only look at him, unless he will make a move, he wanted to hug him, but the shadowhunter looked so fragile in his eyes that he thought he could break him if he hugged him too tightly. He could wait until the shadowhunter felt much better and could speak, without his brother close to him.

"Make sure that Alexander take the potions, if you see that the nightmares appear during the time that he is taking the sleep potion, let me know at once, maybe we need to add something stronger, and I will need Catarina help as well." Magnus told Jace, as he checked on Alec.

"Are you hungry?" Magnus asked smiling, hope to ease any stress that the blue eyed omega was dealing with.

Alec raised his head but did not make eye contact with the warlock.

"Forgive me, Alexander, I did not mean to, I forgot that you cannot speak." Magnus told him and hoped that the omega will look him in the face, but he did not.

Alec did not pay attention to the warlock, as he wondered where his vampire girlfriend was.

"Thanks Magnus, I'll come later on, I think that my brother just needs some rest, and I will make sure that he will take his potions, I missed hearing his voice." Jace thanked the warlock as Magnus opened a portal for them.

As Jace helped Alec walk through the portal, Chairman Meow jumped after them, and that was something that Magnus could not have predicted.

Magnus turned around, laughing at the act that Chairman did, but he noticed that the mobile phone that he gave Alec was still laying on the table, Magnus will have to bring it soon, with hope that the omega shadowhunter could look at him, and will be in better shape than he was now.

Once Jace helped Alec to his room, the cat hid under the bed, and Jace put the potions near the bed.

"Are you all right, brother?" Jace asked.

Alec nodded, as he lay on the bed, Jace sat besides him as he took the sleep potion, "You need to drink, I can see how tired you are."

Alec nodded and took it with the help of Jace, his hands were still shaking, and he could tell how concerned his brother looked.

After he took the sleep potion, Jace placed the empty glass over Alec's table away from the bed, not wanting it to fall if nightmares will appear, it's the last thing that Alec needed, to be cut by shards of the glass.

"Sleep, parabatai, you need it, I can feel how weak our bond became, you need to get your strength back, I miss going on patrol with you." Jace told him and kissed his forehead before he sat next to him on the bed, watching Alec try to blink his eyes and fighting, not wishing to sleep.

"Don't fight it, Alec, you need to sleep," Jace told him and added, "I will be here when you wake up."

While Jace noticed that his brother was sleeping peacefully he stayed for hour and then went back to the ops, he hoped that his brother would not wake up, since he had a lot on in his hands, and he hoped to be there when Alec woke up.

"It's about time that you came, Jace, you have a mission to do, take Clary and Isabelle with you, be safe, and Jace, there was another abduction, from the research we had the only shadowhunter that is missing is Malik Safar."

"Who was abducted before Malik?" Jace asked, not remembering what happened last, because he was more concerned about his brother which was more important, no matter what his adopted parents kept telling him.

"Jeremy Pontmercy." Isabelle replied.

"Make a team of two, no one is patrolling alone, we still have no idea who is the one to abduct them." Maryse told them.

"Go, and by the angel be safe." Maryse told them.

They left the Institute, pondering what they may catch in the night, with hope that whoever abducted the shadowhunter will not try to abduct another one.

"Jace, how is Alec?" Izzy asked with concern showing in her dark brown eyes as she looked at her brother.

"He is not doing well," Jace replied and looked at her, as he added, "Magnus gave me some potions for him to take, hopefully he could talk soon, but Alec is frightened, he is having nightmares and barely eating, and we need to take care of him once we are back to the Institute."

Izzy nodded, she barely had any time to see her brother, with everything that happened, her brother was shoved outside, and her parents did not help him at all, just because he was an omega, and hurt very bad, and that hurt.

"I'll stay with him when we finish patrolling." Izzy told him.

"Thanks Izzy." Jace thanked her.

While they were killing some Shax demons, there was no sign of one of the teams of two, two shadowhunters forgot to check in, and Jace, Izzy and Clary, hoped that those two that they did not see were safe and sound at the Institute.

"Let us hope that they are all right." Clary spoke.

Once they came back, they made a head count to see if anyone was missing, luckily, they were okay, no missing shadowhunters, they could sigh in relief.

Jace, Izzy and Clary want to walk toward Alec's room but were stopped on the way by Maryse and Robert.

"Izzy and Clary, you can go ahead," Maryse told them as she watched the girls leave, she led Jace to the office, "I need to have a word with you."

6/9

Maryse walked and he followed her, but Robert was the one who closed the door after them.

"Jace, you are the best shadowhunter in the New York Institute and it hurts me to see you wasting your time staying almost daily with him, by all rights I should send him to stay in Idris, you should be outside fighting, and doing your part along with Isabelle as he will not be the Head of the Institute, Isabelle will be the Head of the Institute." Maryse told him.

"I'll make no promises, he is my brother, my parabatai, I will not leave him behind, I have part of his soul as he has part of mine, I will not be giving up on him when he needs his family the most," Jace told her, and added as he looked at her, "Alec is your son, he is your eldest son. Did you already give up on him?"

"Go to him," Robert said and glared at his wife, "Close the door behind you, I need to speak with your mom."

Jace closed the door after him, not minding what will happen between his adoptive parents as he ran toward Alec's room.

To his relief, it seemed to him that Alec was still sleeping, Izzy and Clary sat on the chairs.

"How is he?" Jace asked as he sat next to them.

"Still sleeping." Clary replied as she looked at the way the cat snuggled closer to Alec.

"Isn't this Magnus' cat?" Clary asked.

"It is, I better let Magnus knows that his cat is here, and the sleep potion seems to be working on him." Jace told them and pulled out his phone to text the warlock.

[Magnus to Jace, 03:30AM]

I know, I saw that my cat made the jump through the portal, Chairman Meow never did that before for anyone. I mean it Jace, that cat of mine is never friendly toward anyone but me.

I will let Catarina knows about the sleeping potions.

"No worries about the cat, Magnus knows." Jace chuckled.

"I can stay with him during the night, you can go and catch some sleep, come in the morning, maybe we can try and feed him." Jace suggested.

"I can arrange that with Clary." Izzy told him as they stood, and Clary said, "He does look thin, more then we first saw him after the attack."

"I'll text you when he wakes up." Jace told them with a smile as he sat on a chair, getting it closer to the bed, and noticed the cat snuggling even closer to Alec.

Jace smiled and took a photo on his phone and sent it right away to Magnus, who replied right away with a heart eyes emoji.

The waiting was getting hard on Jace so he lay on the floor to rest his eyes for a bit, and did not even feel a blanket covering him and there was a pillow under his head as he slept on the floor.

Neither them were noticed Robert watching over them, he saw how much Jace was concerned about his parabatai. His oldest son was not in a better shape, and he really had no idea what to do about him, he watched him fade right in front of his eyes. Robert hoped to see his son getting better, even though the role of the Head of the Institute was no longer his, he wished that his son will regain his voice and confidence soon so he would not be there alone, fighting alongside his parabatai.

Robert closed the door to Alec's room, letting them rest with ease.

Jace woke up when the sun was rising outside, he did not let himself sleep more than he had intended, even though his brother was still sleeping peacefully and has not woken once.

He put the blanket aside with the blanket on the chair near Alec's bed.

The knock on the door startled him a little as he left the chair and walked to open the door, only to see Maryse glaring at him.

"Jace, I think its time for you to go and do your duties, I need to speak with Alec." Maryse told him.

"I don't think that it is the right time for this, at least give him a fair chance to talk when he could reply to your questions, he can't speak, Maryse." Jace asked from her.

Maryse stared and then nodded to Jace, she would give Alec a chance to speak to her and so she left the room.

Jace sighed in relief once she left the room.

Jace turned around to see Alec waking up, almost startled by the cat who only purred at him.

"Oh, you are awake." Jace came toward him with a smile, he noticed as Alec moved his hands like in therapy mode to pet the cat's fur as he looked at him in a way, but as he opened his mouth, he suddenly remembered that he couldn't speak, so he closed his mouth.

"Here, you should drink the voice potion and I hope that I will hear your voice soon, brother." Jace told him and helped to drink the potion.

"You will need to drink it three times a day, I know that you remember what Magnus told you, don't forget to take them, Alec, it's important." Jace told him and placed the empty vial near the other that he left last night, then he texted to Izzy.

"Clary and Izzy will be here soon with breakfast, and don't give me that look, parabatai, you barely ate something since you were kidnapped," Jace told him as he noticed how his parabatai was making faces, "You lost a lot of weight, you need to eat something," Jace sat on the bed besides him, holding his hands, not minding Chairman as he told him with a sincere voice, "I almost lost you once, I… I don't want to lose you again, you need to eat, Alec, my parabatai."

Alec looked at Jace's eyes, he could feel the warmth and his love through the parabatai rune, he nodded at him.

A few minutes later, Clary and Izzy stepped into a room with a tray full of food and drink.

Clary helped Izzy to set the food on the chairs besides the bed, as they gave Alec his plate and cup of water.

Alec put the cup of water next to his bed side, and then he poked at the food, not able to get it in his mouth.

Alec noticed the glare that his brother gave him, as he took a little piece and chewed it slowly, and then he took another and chewed it slowly.

"See, it was not that bad, but you need to put more food in you, brother." Jace encouraged him.

Izzy looked at her brother, she noticed the scars that covered his body, the paleness and the weight loss, she wished that she could be more with her brother, the missions that her parents were giving her had put her away from her brother, it has been long since she sat and ate next to Alec and looked at him and saw how fragile he looked.

Alec was always the strongest one even when he was presented as an omega, but after they found him in that basement, he seemed to have lost everything, even his voice, and they couldn't tell what he had gone through, even though he had the scars for them to see.

"Alec, you need to eat more than two bites, you need to get your energy back." Izzy tried to encourage her brother to eat more, only to see him staring at her like he was caught in a daze, looking at something else.

"Jace, is he okay?" Clary asked Jace.

Jace noticed his brother, his blue eyes staring at something, the fork fell from Alec's hands, rattling the plate as his hands started to shake, and sweat appeared on his forehead.

Alec lay on the ground as the mundane brought a plate with a little food to him.

Alec noticed the runes on the mundane' hands, and could hear the order, "Eat!"

Alec could not bring himself to eat, the smell of whatever it was disgusted him to even touch it, not knowing if the mundane wanted to poison him, he better starve than eat it.

"Eat! Or I feed you."

When Alec made no move toward the food, the kidnapper forced Alec to open his mouth and put some of the food inside him, Alec barely chew as he swallowed it fast, he could feel the bile, wanted to puke it, but the kidnapper won't let him, as he forced more food inside his mouth.

"Alec, hear my voice, you are safe, you are not in the basement anymore, parabatai." Jace told him, holding his hands.

"Does this happen all the time?" Clary asked.

"It does, but when he is alone, I don't know, I think that he mostly suffers in silence, I really hope the voice potions that Magnus made for him will do the job." Jace replied to her, his eyes still fixed on Alec.

"It is all right, Alec, look at me…you are safe." Jace told him again as he saw no movement from his brother.

Alec blinked, saw that he was in the room, he noticed the looks that Clary and Izzy gave him, and he thought that he saw pity in their eyes, and then his eyes focused on his parabatai.

Alec nodded at him, he sent gratitude through the rune, since he could not talk, maybe he could use the parabatai rune to share his emotions.

"I'm glad that I chose you as my parabatai, Alec, it was the best decision I ever made." Jace told him smiling as he let Alec's hands go.

Chairman used the moment and moved its body over Alec's hand.

"I guess that the cat is fond of you." Jace told him with a smile.

Alec looked at the cat, the cat did not judge him or say anything to him, he guessed that the cat was a good judge of character, but he also remembered that it was the same cat from Magnus' loft, not knowing what the cat was doing in his room in the first place, he pointed toward Jace's phone, and Jace gave it to him to type.

Why is Magnus's cat here?

"Well, remember when we left the portal after taking your potions, the cat jumped in and joined us, apparently, Chairman Meow, that's the cat name by the way , I believe that the cat decided to come here to watch over you, I also think that you have something special, since Magnus wrote to me that Chairman never did something like this before." Jace replied to him and showed him the message from Magnus.

Alec read it and then he looked at Jace.

"Are you sure that you won't need a phone? You can write to me what you are feeling, I don't mind, you are very important to me, you know." Jace asked him.

Alec nodded his head, not knowing if he should have one, but he could always leave it in the room, he never minded it before, and only took it when he went to patrol or when his siblings took him out to drink, he did not see any use to that thing in the first place.

"Good, I'll let Magnus knows that you are ready, now you need to finish your breakfast." Jace told him as he watched him eating.

Clary and Izzy finished eating and looked at Jace who barely ate something.

"Jace, you barely ate anything, maybe you should sit and eat as well." Clary told him as she helped Izzy to clean the plates and put them on the tray.

Izzy sat besides her brother on the bed, away from the cat who hissed at her before he snuggled closer to Alec.

"Alec, you look better brother," Izzy told him, and placed her hand on his shoulder, showing support as she added, "I'm sorry that I haven't been with you more, I missed your company, your laugh, I'll make it up to you, Alec."

Alec nodded at her, still eating from the plate.

Jace sighed with relief as he watched his brother eat, now he had to make sure that he will eat more later.

Once they finished eating, Jace told Alec to rest some more and he will come by later.

Alec nodded, he drank some water with Jace's help before he left the room, and then he rested his head on the pillow.

"Sleep, brother, I will be here later." Jace told him as he helped Izzy and Clary with the tray and then he closed Alec's door after him.

As his brother left the room, Alec opened his eyes and stared at the cat, not knowing why the cat was there in the first place, and the cat eyes were on him, he looked at the cat, and marveled at the look, it was as if the cat was smiling at him.

Alec sat, his back leaning against the wall, unconsciously he moved his hand to embrace the cat's fur as he stared, his eyes were focusing on something that only he could see as the flashback appeared again even though he did not even ask for it.

Alec blinked, he could see his seraph sword being activated by his kidnapper and wondered how it was even possible.

"You must be the stupidest shadowhunter I ever met, I'm a shadowhunter like you," he laughed at him and snarled at him, "Did you really believe that I was a mundane?"

Alec lowered his head, he knew that the pain would come soon, he already gave up on screaming, knowing that no one will come for him, it has been days or even weeks, he could not tell.

He felt the cold touch of the steel touching his bruised skin, leaving more marks, Alec bit his lips as he felt the stab.

"X marks the spot," he laughed at him, and the he added, "Don't worry, you will die a slow and painful death knowing that no one came to rescue you, that you deserve it."

Robert opened Alec's room door, only to see his son's blue eyes staring at something that only he could see, Alec' hands were shaking, the sweat covered his face, he did not look good at all, Alec did not seem to notice him a he came into his room.

He was glad that Jace came to him and spoke his concerns about Alec, telling him about the flashbacks that Alec might be having.

Robert held his son's hands and spoke to him, as he eyed him with concern, "You are safe my son, you are in your room."

Alec blinked and was startled as he noticed his dad, not even knowing what his dad was doing in his room, he could not speak to him, but he nodded at him.

"Did you eat something today?" Robert asked him.

Alec nodded.

Robert sighed, he knew that he and Maryse kind of messed up with the relationship with Alec, especially his wife, and now there was a rift between him and his son, even in silence.

Robert took a good look at Alec's room, he noticed that there was a lack of family photos in the wall, not like Izzy and Jace, the room needed something to fill the void, then he noticed the potions.

"Are these from Magnus Bane?" Robert asked as he pointed at the potions.

Alec nodded.

"You must be someone special, he won't do it for just anyone, you know?" Robert told him with a smile, but noticed the way that Alec looked away.

He knew that look from his parabatai, Jace's father, maybe it was unrequited love, he could not tell, because Alec could not tell him anything, he hoped that the voice potions would do their magic over his son, he missed hearing him speaking.

7/9

Alec doubted that he was special to anyone, but his father seemed to pay more attention to him, something had changed, he hoped that it was not something that his father would use as a way to trap him later on.

"I love you my son, and you need to take care of yourself." Robert kissed his forehead and then he left the room, leaving Alec with his thoughts.

Alec looked at the cat to see if it was there and what happened was not something that he daydreamed about.

It's been two weeks since he started taking the voice potions and then one day he started to open his mouth and his throat did not hurt like it had before, but he was afraid to try and say something, as the his voice was still weak.

"J…" Alec called to his parabatai weakly.

Jace looked at him with shock, like he was caught off guard by his brother, "You started to speak, it's working, I should let Magnus know so he could refill the potions."

"Jace…" Alec whispered his name, he wanted to talk so badly, even though time was not on his side, whatever the kidnapper did to him probably had that effect on his body, but he still yearned to talk.

"Do you still have nightmares?" Jace asked him as he noticed that there were still sleep potions next to him.

Alec nodded at him, his hands still touching the cat who meowed in response to him.

"Alec, I can see that you are tired, but you need to sleep, you need to get stronger." Jace told him.

Alec nodded, and thought 'What do I need to be strong for? I'm a useless shadowhunter, with no alpha.'

"I know that look, Alec," Jace touched his face, looking at him, trying to broadcast to his brother something that would boost up his morale, "You have us, and you should not think so low of yourself, you survived the attack, you are a hero."

Alec turned his face away from Jace, he wanted to say something, as he opened his mouth and all came though was a whisper, "I'm not a hero, Jace."

"Yes, you are, Alec," Jace told him as he could feel tears running from his eyes, "You are my hero, you survived a lot, and if I will need to repeat that every day until you would believe it, I will do it."

"My parabatai is a hero." Jace told him.

Alec ignored his brother; he did not believe this nonsense for a second.

He knew that if something was going to happen he was going to get the blame for it, he had some experience at being the one for it, and knew that his mother wanted him to be sent back to Idris, or at least away from her.

Alec saw Jace came to him more than Izzy, but he had a feeling that his mom and dad wanted her to get the role as the head of the institute so she would be too busy to see him, he was surprised to see his father there for him as he was waking from the flashback he had, he never saw his mother there for him, he felt that he was nothing to her.

Jace could feel anger through the parabatai rune as he stared at his brother face, he noticed his brother even clutching the sheet with his hand, his brother growing angry, Jace figured that it was something to do with his brother lack of morale or something.

"Alec, breath, breath, look at me." Jace called and hoped that his brother will look at him, and hopefully he will come down and the anger that he was feeling will fade away.

"Go away, Jace…" Alec asked him weakly, he wished to be alone.

"I'm not going away, parabatai, my brother." Jace told him.

"Just go…" Alec asked, pleading with his eyes.

"Why do you want me to go away?" Jace asked, not understanding his brother.

"Mom was right…" Alec only replied to him.

"No, she was not, and you know it." Jace insisted, not wishing to see his brother meltdown, not like this, not after everything he went through.

"I'm better off dead, Jace…" Alec mumbled to him as he rest his head on the pillow, turning away from his brother, he felt so useless that it hurt him, but both the kidnapper and his mother were right, he was better off dead.

"Alec… Alec… please, you are not better off dead, you are alive, it's counts for something, right?" Jace asked him, but his brother stopped saying anything in that matter.

Jace stayed with his brother, hoping to catch him awake, but even though he stayed more than few hours, his brother was stubborn.

Jace sighed heavily, he will come back later, and hopefully his brother will see that it is counted that he survived and was alive.

Once Jace was outside the room, he saw Clary looking at him with concern, "Jace, what's wrong?"

"Alec, his voice is back, but he is not in a good mood, I need to speak with Izzy and Robert, maybe they could get some sense into him." Jace replied to her, cupping her face and kissing her.

Her love to him was giving him strength when his brother was in a dark place and he thanked Clary for her love to him.

"Jace…" Clary kissed him and added like a whisper, "Simon is in trouble."

Jace looked at her, and chuckled, "Why does it not surprised me? What did he do now?"

Clary smiled at him and took his hand, "Come with me."

Robert could not stop berating himself as he heard what Jace said about Alec but was glad to know that Alec had his voice back, his son needed someone to be there for him and believe in him.

Robert walked toward the room of his son, he knocked, but he did not hear anything as he opened the door to see Alec's back to him, the blanket was falling down from the bed, and he could see his body shaking.

"Alec, you are safe." Robert told him as he tried not to look at the scars that were left on his son's back.

"Go away." Alec whispered to him.

"Alec, I know that I have not been a very good father to you since you were kidnapped, Jace filled me up on everything that happened to you, and I know that I should have been here with you sooner," Robert told him, as he continued, "You are my oldest son, the omega, you are stronger than any omega I have seen through my life, you are a survivor, you survived the ordeal with the kidnapper, that means a lot in my book, you are my bravest and I am happy to see you alive, son."

Alec turned around to face his father, he yearned to hear the words, but never believed he would hear them.

"Thank you, dad." Alec told him weakly, his voice did not come back normal.

Robert held his son in a hug and said, "I always loved you, son, and you need to be strong, not let your emotions drag you down."

He lays his son back to the bed and asked, "Do you want me to read you a story?"

"I'm not a kid, dad." Alec replied to him.

"I know, Alexander, but I missed those moment, and besides it's been awhile, you were growing so quickly through my eyes, you took care of your siblings while it was our job to do that, so now I will be the one that will take care of you, son."

Alec looked at him and nodded.

Alec closed his eyes thinking of the beautiful moment that he now shared with his father and hoped that they will not be disturbed by anyone.

He could hear the creak of the door and noticed his sister face peaking at them.

Izzy smiled as she noticed her father in the room with a book in his hand and Alec's blue eyes looking at her with wonder.

"Brother, it's good to see you awake, I wanted to see if what Jace was telling me about your voice was true." Izzy told him.

Alec nodded at her, not knowing what he should say about that.

"He can speak, Izzy." Robert assured her and opened the book.

"It's the book that Alec read to us when we were younger while you and mom were away." Izzy pointed toward the book with a smile.

"It is." Alec told her.

Izzy could feel tears of happiness falling down her face.

"I've been waiting for so long to hear your voice again brother, your voice is like music to my ears," Izzy told him and then she added, "I think that I will stay, I missed your company for far too long, brother."

Alec nodded to her, he could feel so drained as he closed his eyes, hearing his father and his sister reading the story together.

It felt great for him to feel loved, as he truly believed that no one was there for him.

A few days later when he could feel that he could leave the room even if it took him some effort to leave his bed, his muscles ached and almost faliled to support him but he did not give up as he opened the door, using the wall to get himself standing and not fall on his face, he smiled a little when he saw his parabatai, "Jace…"

Jace hurried to his way and helped him.

"Alec, are you all right?" Jace asked him.

"I am, I took the voice potion," Alec replied to him and added, "Can I join you?"

"Of course, there is going to be an announcement soon, do you really want to come? I don't want you to stress yourself even more." Jace told him as Alec nodded at him.

With the help of Jace he leaned against the wall and looked at the ops center, he noticed the looks that the other shadowhunter gave him but ignored them.

He could tell that Jace became very close to Clary as he saw him standing next to her, and Alec caught him sending her smiles here and there, while Izzy smiled at him and his brother, the mundane with the eyeglasses could not be seen with them.

"Some of you are taking part in the hunt to catch Valentine, and some of you will get a new assignment. The new assignment is dealing with a rogue shadowhunter that has kidnapped, tortured and killed shadowhunters, we do not know who is the rogue shadowhunter, but we aim to find that out and kill him if need be, so far there was no witness and no survivors, be aware when you are outside, don't lose sight of your teammates when you are fighting in the streets and no one, I repeat, no one is to be left behind, understood?" Maryse asked the crowd of shadowhunters, noticing her children watching her, she glared at her elder son, not knowing why he was there in the first place.

Alec left the ops and headed toward his room but was caught on the way by his mother.

"Alec, how kind of you to finally join us in ops," Maryse taunted him and added, "Is there something that you want to ask me?"

"C… can I see the bodies?" Alec asked, staring at his mother.

"Ask Isabelle," Maryse replied to him and then added with a smile, "I would rather see you dead instead of those brave souls that died under the rogue shadowhunter, you are nothing but a failure to the family."

Alec tried to stay calm as he saw his parabatai and his sister coming his way, he knew that they probably saw Maryse talking with him.

"What did she want?" Jace asked and looked at his brother, he knew that he felt pain from the parabatai rune.

"Nothing important," Alec replied to him and then he asked his sister, "Can I see the bodies?"

"Are you sure?" Izzy asked him.

"I'm sure." Alec replied.

"I'll join you." Jace told him, and Alec nodded.

Izzy was in the lab, opening the black bags of the bodies, revealing to Alec the bodies of the shadowhunters.

Jace noticed as Alec walked to one corpse, his hand tracing the scars, Izzy looked with concern as she watched her brother as she whispered to Jace, "What is he doing?"

"I don't know, but I think that we should watch him carefully now, I think that the flashback will be back later as since he won't tell me the details about what happened to him when he was kidnapped." Jace replied to her.

Alec walked to another corpse, he noticed that the other one has the same marks on his body like the other dead shadowhunters, he lowered his head with understanding.

Alec knew, he just knew that if he was not saved, then maybe, just maybe, those two that been killed would have been alive.

He was the only one that survived.

His mother was right, they would be alive if he was found dead.

"Thank you, Izzy, I think that I will go to rest now." Alec told them wearily and left the lab slowly.

"Take the sleep potion if you can't sleep…" Jace called after him and thought that he could see a movement from his brother indicating that he heard him.

"We need to go or Maryse and Robert will have our hide." Jace told to his sister.

8/9

Later that day, Alec left his room taking the cat with him, he almost took a dagger with him, but the memory was still fresh in his mind, so he walked outside of his room with no weapon, he saw no use for it, Alec already felt useless in the Institute, not knowing why his parabatai was still watching him, while he needed to focus on his girlfriend.

He intended to walk to Magnus' loft and return the cat, as much as Chairman Meow was there for him, Alec figured that warlock might want his cat brought back to him.

Alec sighed in relief as he walked outside the Institute and no one stopped him as he stepped out into the night breathing the fresh air, and then he started to walk, it was a long walk, but he was not bothered by that.

As he arrived to Magnus's loft, Alec noticed that the door was ajar, he walked inside and could hear a laugh from a woman, he peeked his head to see them kissing and laughing, the cat running toward them as the omega shadowhunter followed, he noticed that the cat was literally tearing Camille's dress, and he could feel the eyes of the alpha on him but Alec did not mind him as he followed the cat as it left toward one of the rooms, he could hear Magnus calling after him, but Alec ignored him, he has had enough of it.

Alec sighed heavily, and then followed Chairman path to another room, only to stumble upon something, he could feel something sharp touching his palm as he tried to get back on his feet, which caused him to faint.

He opened his eyes and was ready to leave Magnus's loft, but he wanted to look at Magnus again, at least see him for one last time.

He saw them kissing and laughing, like he was not in the room, and they could not feel his scent. Alec thought that he maybe he died and saw himself walking after the cat.

The image of that vampire woman and the alpha cut his heart to pieces, he knew that the alpha will not be his, he walked after the cat to stumble again and see the cut from the knife showing again.

"How is that even happening?" Alec asked, not knowing he was cut twice, and why he could not leave Magnus's loft.

He found himself waking again as he follows the laugh and saw them kissing as he saw Chairman jumping around and tearing Camille dress, and Alec shouted at Chairman and followed him around only to be stabbed again.

Next time that he walked through the laugh he could see Chairman leaving his scratches on her leg, hearing Magnus shouting over the cat and calling his name, and Alec came to rescue the cat and walked away with Chairman, his palm was still bloodied from the cut left by the dagger.

He blinked again, his blood on his palm, he barely could feel the pain as he left the room, taking the same route to their laugh, he knew it like the back of his hand and yet he could not break the cycle, it was as if he was caught in a haze, not knowing what will break him free of it.

Alec never knew that it would happen to him, and to see the alpha and the vampire kissing, the scene broke his heart every time that he watched them, and it was enough for him.

Alec could feel Magnus' hand on him, but he walked by, he could not look at the alpha, the pain was too much.

He blinked, caught in his surrounding, waking up in the same room where the strange shape of a knife appeared, the blood was there, dripping from the wound on his palm, he left the room and headed toward the sounds of laughter, he saw Magnus and Camille kissing, Chairman Meow jumping around, and scratching the vampire leg, her dress shredded awfully by the cat, there were scratches everywhere.

Alec could see that she focused her anger on the cat, and he jumped in time to save the cat from getting kicked off by her. He sighed in relief to know that the cat was safe.

He caught the look the warlock aimed at him, Alec believed that the warlock might want him out of his life.

"Alexander," Magnus called and used the magic to not let the shadowhunter go away as he came closer to him, and added, "The love that you have for Chairman, and the bravery of that you did for him, that speaks volumes, Alexander."

Magnus leaned to kiss Alec on his lips.

Alec looked at him with surprise marking on his face.

"But… you don't love me, you love her." Alec told him weakly.

"Huh, that's where you are wrong, Alexander," Magnus told him and pinned his back against the nearest wall, and added, "When I first saw you in the institute I fell in love with you on first sight, see Alexander, you unlocked something in me, something that I yearned to feel for a long time."

"But you walked away from me." Alec told him.

"You smelled from beta…" Magnus told him.

"Jace, my parabatai is a beta, I guess that I hang with him too much." Alec smiled.

Camille snorted and told the warlock, "You are disgusting, really, Magnus, the omega shadowhunter, you have better options than him."

"No, I have the right omega for me, I was just afraid to take the step and claim him as my omega," Magnus told her while he opened a portal and then he shot his magic toward her to throw her on the other side of it, once the portal was closed, Magnus held the omega's face with his hands and told him softly, "I want you as my omega."

"I… I want you as my alpha." Alec told him and fell into Magnus's arms as he kissed him passionately.

As it happens, both were on the same page, but one had the courage and one lost it.

Alec was guided by the warlock toward the bed, Magnus pushed him lightly as his back fell on the soft bed, "I wanted this for so long, from the moment I saw you in the institute, Magnus, I wanted you to be my alpha."

Magnus climbed into the bed, on him as he tried to remove the shirt and kissed him, and then he said to him, "We are both idiots."

Alec smiled at him and removed his shirt.

Magnus smiled and used his magic to finish undressing both, as they were naked, before he moved his finger toward Alec's hole, he noticed the wetness in it, "Are you in heat?"

"I… I do not know, it's my first time, Mags." Alec told him.

"You never had heat before?" Magnus asked and started to get him ready.

"Not that I know of Magnus."

Magnus looked over the pale while skin as he moved his finger inside to stretch the hole, he noticed the scars that marked the shadowhunter everywhere, he almost forgot that Alexander was kidnapped and suffered the consequence of it, alone and in silence.

"Whoever hurts you again or lay hands on you, will be dead under my magic, no one is going to hurt my omega, after the bite, you will be mine, heart and soul." Magnus promised him, he never wanted to let him go and as he inserted another finger inside, he noticed how the shadowhunter moaned and arched his back.

Magnus removed his fingers and rubbed his cock before he inserted it inside of the shadowhunter with small push until he was inside and then he pulled out, he noticed the look that Alec gave him, so he thrusted inside of him again, thrusting slowly, feeling Alec's muscles relax with his cock as he started knotting the omega, all the while enjoying seeing him smiling, so full of desire right in front of him, that made him happy to see that he was fulfilling it.

Magnus nipped Alec's neck and then he bit him, making him his, so no one will hurt him and see that he was claimed.

Alexander's heat lasted three days, and Alec looked exhausted and hungry.

The alpha could hear the rumbling of his stomach like a roaring to get something to eat, and Magnus was eager to feed his omega.

Magnus lay beside him, their bodies saturated with sweat.

"Rest a little, Alexander, I will be here when you will wake up." Magnus told him and assured to him.

Alec mouthed to him 'Thank you' and closed his eyes.

Magnus watched over him and then he joined him in bed.

A few hours later, Alec woke, feeling completed and loved, he never believed that the warlock indeed loved him, after everything that happened to him, he felt completed and worthy of his alpha.

"I can hear the gears in your mind moving, what are you thinking about?" Magnus asked, his eyes were still closed.

"You, how you make me feel," Alec replied and added, sighing heavily, "I brought no happiness to my family."

"No, I think that you showed more than that, even to me," Magnus told him as he opened his eyes and then he remembered something, "Just tell me something, why you did not want to look at me when Jace helped you here, was it you were afraid that you won't have my love toward you?"

Alec nodded.

"Now I can breathe, I thought that it was because of something else or something that I caused in some way." Magnus told him with a smile and kissed him on the cheek.

"I think that it is the first time that I slept without the sleep potion." Alec told him.

"Come along, Alexander, let me wash you properly." Magnus guided him toward the bathroom, he had a large shower and a large bathtub, he opened the faucet of hot water and then he opened the cold water, not wanting to burn his omega, when the warmth of the water was set, he told him, "Get in the bathtub and let me to take care of you, and if you need to rest lean over my chest."

Alec nodded at him, and enjoyed the touch of the alpha, moving the soap over his body.

"That felt good, Mags." Alec told him.

A few moments later, Magnus helped a sleepy shadowhunter out of the bathtub and used his magic to dry them out.

"Rest a little, I'll join you shortly." Magnus kissed him and helped him over to the bed, and then he covered him with a blanket.

A few minutes later, Alec woke up, feeling refreshed and noticed that Magnus looked at him, "Oh, finally, you are awake."

"Sit down and let me feed you," Magnus told him and then he added, "I did not know that what you love to eat, so I have a little of everything."

Alec chuckled and started to point to the food that looked more appetizing to his hungry tummy the most.

A few hours later, Alec started to dress, as he kissed him, "I need to go and bring my things over here, where I belong."

"Do you need me to open a portal for you?" Magnus asked.

"No, I will be fine, just take care of Chairman for me, I enjoyed him protecting me and being there for me, while I was gone." Alec replied to him.

"I'll be waiting for you, Alexander." Magnus leaned to kiss him, leaving his scent all over the omega's clothes.

Alec left the loft with a smile on his face, he finally got an alpha who loved him, truly loved him.

9/9

It has been over two hours and Alexander did not show up, Magnus grew concerned, and then he heard his ringtone, and used the magic to collect his phone and noticed it was Jace calling to him.

"Jace, did Alexander reach to the institute?"

"No, he never made it," Jace sighed heavily, he had a strong feeling that something was going to happen, and then he remembered what he wanted to say to the warlock, "Magnus, the rogue shadowhunter was never caught, I have a feeling that maybe Alec got kidnapped again."

"Again? Do you think that it is the same one that caught him?" Magnus asked him.

"I hope not, but if he is, we are going to make sure to kill him or her this time, we never knew who the kidnapper was in the first time." Jace told him.

"Well, in that case, no one is touching my omega and staying alive." Magnus told him with a firm voice.

"Well, I'll be in the loft shortly, and I'm glad that you two finally covered that corner, I mean I could see how miserable Alec looked, it's about damn time." Jace told him and closed his phone.

---

Alec woke up, feeling his head starting to hurt as his hands were shackled to the wall, he blinked and noticed the dreadful basement.

"Not again… please." Alec whispered.

"Oh… What have I here… did you miss me shadowhunter?" the kidnapper asked him.

Alec moved his head over to him, he could see his face clearly now, even his runes and just asked, "Why are you doing this?"

"Let just say that the clave and I, we do not see eye to eye, and now I'm going to finish what I started, you were my first to torture but you were taken away from me." The rogue shadowhunter told him.

"We will see about that," Alec told him, trying to remain calm, not letting the anger and panic flood him like when he was first captured, not letting the kidnapper enjoy seeing him scream for help, now he had something of value to live for, his alpha and his parabatai, "My alpha won't be pleased."

"We will see about that, you worthless shadowhunter."

Alec smiled at him, not letting the words get to him again.

The kidnapper took an arrow and stabbed him in the chest and then he pulled it out, making the shadowhunter moan with pain.

Alec closed his eyes, trying to fight the pain and as he opened his eyes again, he could see Magnus standing over the rogue shadowhunter, while his brother released him from the shackles that held him, the pain was so great that he wanted to ask his alpha to heal him, but first there is something that he wanted to take care of, himself, to make sure by his own hands, that his kidnapper was dead.

Alec took the seraph blade and activated it before he took one last look at his kidnapper, "Alec wait," Jace called, and Magnus told the blonde shadowhunter, "He needs to do it himself, if not it will be worse."

"Continue Alexander, I'm here for you."

Alec nodded at his alpha and struck the rogue shadowhunter with the seraph blade, killing him instantly. His nightmare has finally come to a finish.

"Is he really dead?" he asked, feeling numb and in pain.

Jace knelt to check, he sighed in relief when he did not feel any pulse, "He is dead, brother."

"Magnus, can you open the portal for me to take his body to the institute?" Jace asked.

"You can join him if you want to collect your things to stay in my… I mean our loft." Magnus told to his omega, he noticed the blood, and started using his magic to heal him.

"I will stay with you, I feel much safer with you than in the institute, anyway." Alec told him and fell on the ground, still in pain.

Magnus opened the portal for Jace, and then after he left, he closed the portal, and then opened another portal to the loft.

"Now, you won't leave my loft, unless you are with me." Magnus told him and helped him strip from his clothes, not wishing that he will be more traumatized and remember the kidnapper, if he had to, Magnus will burn his clothes and buy him new ones.

Magnus kissed him where he was hurt, and then he guided him to the bed, "Rest, you need it, Alexander, I will be here with you shortly."

A few minutes later, Magnus came, and held him tighter, not wishing ever to let his omega go, he was his, only his to love back.

The End!