Moaning as he recalled his maiden voyage, it took his eyes being blasted by sunshine to rouse Mayfield from his first night's rest. In so doing, a filthy morning rant that might've written a page on how little he cared to do anything.
Even a blissful pint of ice-cold water couldn't keep him from slumping, forcing him to slap himself to stay awake. After great yawning toasts to the family of old, and to life anew, he figured it was best to figure out the city, to let a good walk wake him up. A rub of hands and quick change later, he was down the block of West 57th in no time.
Some minutes in, his head creased then nodded towards a millennium left behind when he stumbled before Family Bros Pizza. In their aprons covering a simple shirt n' jeans, or a long brown dress, they were on their knees hoping to seize that Earthican Dream.
Well, right until they stood to reveal themselves as man-sized, cockroach-like creatures, feelers & all.
Praying they didn't notice, Mayfield's arms clutched his head as his chest thumped in fright, as he fought his voice to whisper instead of scream.
"Seriously, more of them? Oy… That makes the fourth type in two days!"
But as he watched them set up shop, argue in thick accents, and cry for today's business worries, he palmed his heart in silent respect. Wherever they came from, it was obvious they didn't fly all this way to cause anyone nightmares, least of all him.
As he continued ambling along, Mayfield had noticed how much the weekend ceasefire had left the city; a virtual ghost town to his liking. Didn't want reminders of everyone's contempt of him, least of all the harsh, personal sort from his first stop… The NNY Dumbbell Club. A promise to himself and staff that he'd never step inside again, besides, life was difficult enough WITH his face intact.
Onward, and to the towering HQ of 'Mom's Friendly Robot Company. His jaw dropped to bristle chest hairs this time, he saw its gold gleam from fancy door to spire against the risen sun. The contrast of cream and chocolate walls, as well as fanciful windows of any shape and size, had him grip his head.
"Man, I think I got duped. To think that addled corpse's my big boss instead of her…"
Whatever thoughts and 'what ifs' crossed his mind after, they didn't last as he heard sudden whirs and charges. Security turrets, perhaps a trespasser… Once he learned that they locked on HIM, only a cry of "Ohhh shhhhit!" escaped as he pelted in the opposite direction. Should've kept that to himself, as the pulses came fast, certainly enough to rip organs apart.
Several stains—sweat and perhaps brown ones—later, he could only glance back and shiver…
"On second thought, scratch that! If that's what I get for just stating an opinion…"
Such panic never truly left as he passed Alien Overlord & Taylor, tempted towards breakfast, before he walked by Rook Takes Pawnshop and 7^11. The former had been checkmated in business's chess game, and he hoped that that convenience store didn't name themselves after their prices.
More pointless discoveries like a 99-cent store, before he found his Holy Grail of knowledge & solitude… The New New York Public Library, and a jig to dance upon its finding. In a once never-ending fight between books and bills, bills were undefeated, and there had been no place within miles to escape that reality.
A sprint up those stone steps later, he tiptoed through the hand-carved doors, and let his body take it all in. Scents, sights and sounds of rich, lacquered mahogany, thousands of well-pressed volumes, and the rare scratch or press.
Could've been reminded of the Great Library of Alexandria, except he stood in it, just mere miles from home and work.
The minutes soon blurred into hours, as he couldn't help but pore through the centuries of classics, a dozen pages read here and there before he returned them back to the trays. A chance to sink into a leather lounge chair—"I so wanna steal one!"—and a dwindling care for the time as he nestled in for a nap.
Maybe he'd be crazy to think it, but nothing could ruin this moment for him…
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Whatever woke the kid up he didn't know, but it did leave him scratching his head as he yawned, stretched and made for the counter. All it took was a single read of the digital clock to have that flash of realisation, just like the ones had when he met Leela. And speaking of which, her offered tour was just 15 minutes away…
Leaving the building first, he slapped his head and fired off consistent yells of "SHIT!" that turned the heads of man, woman and child alike.
"Of all days to forget his cash and cell phone, why was it today?!"
When he wound up back at HQ, his panic, lack of fitness and ignorance of city life had delayed him to such a point, he only needed one glance to know he was screwed. There he stood before the Captain; a bucket of odious sweat about to collapse, as she folded her arms, withered him with a frown, and spoke just a simple, single word.
"Well?"
A side-eyed glance at the kitchen clock, and a hung head for knowing. A full half-hour late, not a place to run or hide. In between gulps of breath, he made his peace.
"I fucked up… your schedule. I… have no excuse and… I'm sorry. It's shameful on… myself and everyone here."
"Whatever… NOW are you ready?"
"Yes… Let's go… Captain."
Hopping about in a grimace, hoping he didn't just drop then and there, it took a little time for him to reach top deck, whereupon those strains, twitches and jerks seemed to dissipate somewhat. In a full 360-degree view of his surroundings, he could've only imagined having his father beside him now…
"Well kid, welcome to the bridge, where I command all there is and will be. You may come up front to enjoy the view, but unless it's an emergency, you are not allowed to interfere or speak, without my express OR implied say-so. If you want to keep clean or do your business, our bathroom is 'round the corner, can't miss. Yes, it's unisex as well, deal with it. Now move your ass and follow me."
Where she stopped next had her sigh and sniffle, and him to reel back and wrap his shirt over his nostrils. Before him laid a waist-high pile of rotting mush; remnants of old food, loose hairs, skin flakes, spilt drinks, layers of dust…
"What in the hell is…"
"Excuse me?"
"I mean, permission to speak, Captain?"
"Go ahead."
"So I don't know the whole story, but first off, why the blue face, and second, the hell is all this? I was never a clean freak, but Gods alive this is…"
A flinch in her face, before she cut him off: "Commit this to mind, right now… I'm loaning this cabin, emphasis mine, so you can rest up. But if you ever again desecrate the memories within, forget the Gods, you'll answer to ME instead… Do we understand each other?"
"Uh, sure captain."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"I mean, yes captain!"
Could only mouth "The hell's the matter?" behind her back, and look about in a daze wondering how that cabin could ever be a tribute to anyone. But today alone, he'd already crossed her twice… Be lucky to be ambushed and ejected into the cold abyss, the rate he was going.
Leela then let loose a series of rapid finger-points and words that left the kid scribbling to keep up.
"Right here's the airlock, there's the escape chute, that's the vending room, and right in front now, the laundry room and prison in a pinch. Oh, if we ever need spare supplies, that's the box to get 'em. Clear on that?"
"Would've been clearer if I came early," he hummed as those drawings grew cruder. Never heard Leela's steps down the ladder, and felt his foot and heart plummet into the hole before he righted himself, palms sweating. Another light-speed tour to come, this time of where he could cook, eat, and hang out among crew.
No time to ponder about recipes, as she stopped him dead silent upon reaching the Med-Bay.
"Okay kid, here's the SINGLE most critical room you'll ever access, hopefully you won't need to know why. As such, I expect everything within these four corners to be treated with utmost respect, do you understand?"
Mayfield stroked his chin and offered a palm: "Yes ma'am, but I only paid a couple of Brainos to fix even your damage… You mean to tell me there's worse out there?"
"First, I didn't give you permission to bring up the past again, and second, that's EXACTLY what I'm telling you! To what's out there, my skills are child's play; better yet, Mom monopolised the market even before I started. Consider yourself lucky if you can quit and collect checks, once you run out of miracles."
A raspberry of sorts: "If that's lucky, I'd sooner be dead. Did enough of that for a dozen lifetimes."
He also kept mum about Mom's ruthless streak this morning, as they stepped down to third deck and the final two rooms.
"And here we are, the cargo delivery room, our mouldy bread and frozen butter of the business. A quick question, have you ever operated any cranes or magnets?"
"Never was into those claw machine rip-offs ma'am, so afraid not."
"Well, when they apply, joysticks control the winch, the buttons lower or raise the magnet. Labels are nice & clear, so please don't make me auto-pilot for this, okay? I get that you're from the Stupid Ages, but even you can't screw this up."
"Gee, thanks for the vote of no confidence."
"You'd have still rotted in the Orphanarium if that were true."
"Fair point… So engine room's there, then?"
"You bet, and she's a true marvel. Travels faster than your light speed, offers 200% fuel efficiency, and moves the actual universe around us. Know it sounds impossible, but spare me."
"Actually, quite the contrary Captain. This city shut my mouth even before we officially met. Hell, just see yourself through my eyes, look in the mirror, for proof of what's possible."
"My eyes, yeah, real cute…"
"That's not what I meant, for Christ's sake! You'd have been a mythical legend in my time, think I'd have ever imagined seeing you in the flesh?"
"That better be what you're implying. Anyway, that concludes our ship tour… Any questions, thoughts, comments to add?"
"Not a whole lot except… Same place, YOUR time?"
"Absolutely, on that day we will learn how to stay tip-top, ship-shape, and ready for delivery. But before you go, a couple more things."
"Yes, captain?"
"First, and not TO the higher-ups, you have my permission to swear on-board our ship. Hell, in the right moment, it helps steel ourselves from time to time. But towards customers, ALWAYS keep it clean and professional. Lord knows we need all the favours we can get right now."
"No worries captain."
"Second, I'll tolerate your lateness just this once, since your apology was genuine…"
A flicker of a grin, before a rough finger in his chest, and an instant frown.
"But if you're late again, for ANY reason, I'll make your first day feel like a papercut… Got it?"
"Uh, y-y-y-yes ma'am."
Dismissed, he made for the showers as the twinges and squirms wobbled him, as he gave yelps throughout. But once those wet thumbs began to knead his shoulders, press into his back, and rub down his legs, he might've forgotten all the pain of that entire adventure…
Save for pondering over Leela's words… Never had known someone to reject the past with such fervour, and then there was the mysterious 'tribute'.
"What in the hell is she hiding…?"
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Yesterday's mistakes fresh in mind, and his throat clutched by thoughts of mush piles, Mayfield bolted upright as he choked and spluttered.
"To think I'll be sleeping in that," he murmured as he drank his water, a few mental notes booting in mind. First was to buy a watch ASAP, second was to create a list of useful goods when funds grew able, and third was to find out where to buy food and groceries. Wouldn't have his hand held…
But one priority shuffled under another, as Mayfield gazed over the likes of Elzar's Fine Cuisine, Guadalajara Brown Drip, and a smattering of other diners and dine-ins to make him gather spit in anticipation.
Soon after he found the Central Park ice rink, watching in awe for the rare morning sorts to skate about on rocket-powered blades. Caught himself thinking about his Captain again, as the Aleph-Null Plex, the Metropolitan House of Opera, and even Madison Cube Garden washed into sight…
For such rich layered histories of cinema, music and sports, even just for the architecture, they might've sounded like perfect places to date. Someone must've been real close to heart, for her to leave THAT tribute…
That crazy theory only strengthened once the Leaning Tower poked into view, once he began walking the stretch of sand and sea called Monument Beach. Could've caught himself humming a tune, begging for a sabre fedora, as he pumped fists and gave joyous shouts for this full-scale collection of world wonders.
To rub hands across the Easter Island heads, lean skyward before Big Ben, ponder alongside the Great Sphinx, and stand in silent remembrance to Mount Rushmore and the White House… Strange science guy aside, he had found yet another home, another tribute to his past world made better.
Had a smile of sorts going as he wound back and found the local police station, where two officers sat out front enjoying coffees. Once both sets of eyes had met, only the officers kept theirs locked on him.
"Yo Smitty, turkey for Thanksgiving dinner, 12 o'clock."
"It's only ten URL, what are you talking about?"
"Your thinkin's funky, fuzz brother! You sure you didn't order decaf?"
"Of course not! In fact, think you're onto somethin'; t-shirt & jeans, hands in pockets, strange grin and already 70 degrees out here… He's obviously hiding drugs."
"Undercover pursuit in progress… baby."
After an "Excuse me, sir?" and a "There a problem, officers?" the three had met. Remembering how such authorities deserted and menaced him when he needed them most, it took every ounce of restraint for Mayfield to keep level breaths. Knew he had to seek his own justice now, and they'd only get in his way…
In his country redneck twang, the deputy spoke after the other greeted him; rather silky-smooth and Shaft-like for a burly robot.
"Just here to perform a friendly stop-and-search, citizen. Happy to cooperate?"
"Friendly nothing, but gotta do what you gotta do. Just get it over with."
"Watch the smart mouth, cat. Don't worry, it won't take long."
Mayfield kept cool all the way up to the cavity search, especially when the robot volunteered. Once that metal limb entered, the kid couldn't help but clench as the air was vacuumed from his lungs. All of a sudden, he wasn't sure who to be afraid of, his boss or these lawmen.
A relieved sigh as he got confirmed clean and sent on his way, even if the redneck expressed his doubts: "I still think he's got a counterfeit career chip in possession."
The robot meanwhile began to scrub down: "Quit your jive talk; nasty ass aside, he was fine. Now how 'bout a sub before we loaf off again?"
Holding tears the whole while, Mayfield took a little time to breathe, to remember that it couldn't be personal. Though he could've worked on his tone, he hadn't taken long enough to build such a profile, even for his first night.
Hailing a cab once he reached a signed sidewalk, he had grown taken aback by not just the brusque greeting, but how he soon sat level against those once-looming skyscrapers.
"Wait, whoa, no drills?"
"You think? Look, ain't got all day, where you wanna go?"
"Uhhhh, that department store, where was it again…" as he clicked his fingers. "Ah!"—slapping his head—"Alien Overlord & Taylor, please."
Though brief, the brilliant new perspective had him believe that maybe New New York wasn't as big and bad as he first thought. And with his eventual choice of watch, one that gathered dust and its share of salesman eye-rolls, he knew he had found his housewarming gift.
Back into another cab and Planet Express, where he now had time to shower, dress and scrub his teeth. Sure enough, his Captain arrived to see him clean, calm and collected for the Sunday leg of the tour.
"Hey, I actually showed up on time… This time."
"Save the confetti for something important. So, ready to go?"
"But of course."
Down the lift and towards a rack, Leela soon exposed the wide variety of tools possessed; power drills, wire cutters, squeegee wipers and oxyacetylene torches, all to patch up, polish and piece together their old girl for just one more delivery.
Where the tour came unravelled was when the Captain introduced the kid to his only duty of washing the ship. Seeing her shoot into the air on a hovering platform, several stories above where he stood, his eyes widened and knees shook as she flew up and down.
Not convinced of its flimsy protection, he could only squeak up inches at a time, much to Leela's heightening impatience.
"Listen rookie, by the time you're done washing, I'll be retired… What are you so afraid of?"
"Oh, take your pick… Falling over the edge, permanent disability, maybe death?"
"Or rather"—as she seized the controls—"that you've got nowhere to run now?"
"The hell are you doing?!" as he gripped the railing for grim death.
"Keep your nonsense up, you'll answer to me instead of gravity."
"Are you fuckin' kidding me? Lady, how long has that been the ONLY solution for you? I can't imagine how you grew up, nor of what's happened since, but back off would ya?"
"Number one, I don't take orders from you. Number two, you know what I said about swearing to superiors. Number three, I never said anything about violence… YOU'RE the one putting ideas in my head, pal."
Groaning as he created this lose-lose situation, Mayfield shivered for both his boss and for standing a good sneeze away from snapping his spine. The fright soon gave way when he remembered that he couldn't do this alone, that either the Captain or Amy would be right beside him. Even for odd flickers of confusion, it wasn't long after that the kid had travelled the ship from front stripe to back fin.
Since the tour finished early, they gave themselves a chance to wax a few weekend words over lunch, now that the café across the street was open. For her a sandwich & coffee, as she shared her rather stoic way of life; work, gym, then home. He would sample some sweet cakes, as he toured her through 21st-century eyes.
The same eyes that were soon drawn to her wrist device, which looked to swallow her whole sleeve.
"Oh, this old thing? Here's a better question; what hasn't it been? I don't think I've even discovered everything yet, but bottom line, we've had more adventures together than I'd care to count… Or perhaps remember."
"I'll say, that's impressive! My video games teased such ideas, but seeing them become reality…"
"We may mock your millennium kid, but that's not to say we consider it unworthy either. Just look around you, think of all the ideas we're applying now that your century and beyond were responsible for. Hell, we're even built on the ruins of the old city, itself."
"This weekend alone has been a mind-blowing lesson… Want me to get this one?"
"Don't worry about it. Right now, you need to save up where you can."
"Thanks, I'll pay it back ASAP. Anywho, I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"
"You're telling me you're going to take your first day off?"
"Put it that way, that does sound stupid… 'Till next time, hooroo!"
A firm handshake, a wave, and finally some common ground of sorts between Captain and charge. But far from worrying about her, Mayfield couldn't help but grip tables at the thought of travelling the realm of space.
Remembered a voice telling him that the first delivery was always the hardest, now he knew why.
And as soon as he laid on the couch and shut his eyes, he had crossed fingers and muttered prayers that he wouldn't deliver to anywhere too dangerous…