Winter was slow to get her jacket on, enjoying the silence of her office and the mild peace it brought her mind. Her talk with Dr. Ironwood was fresh in her mind and had no intention of leaving, so she simply let it wash over her, filling her belly with feelings of anxiety and doubt. But that didn't deter her in the slightest.
After closing the door behind her, Winter started to walk down the silent hallway, the sound of her shoes hitting the carpet was muted, but still clear to anyone that listened. For example, Winter saw a certain plucky red head perk up at her desk at the sound before turning and smiling at Winter, "Heading home already? I'm shocked you aren't the last one out of the office again" Amy chuckled as she leaned back in her chair.
"Come on, I haven't stayed late that often" Winter protested with a small frown.
"Almost every day for the past few weeks, Win. I know I might be a little spacey… Ok, A lot spacey… I might have more space in my head than the sky, but I pay attention to my friends" Amy jabbered quickly, her hands moving wildly as she talked. Suddenly her movement stopped and she turned her full attention to Winter.
"What?" The white haired woman asked, confused at the sudden 180 while Amy looked at her with complete concentration.
"Are you feeling ok? You look pale" Amy questioned seriously.
"Amy, I'm always pale" Winter chuckled, but Amy shook her head. The next thing Winter knew Amy was pressing her forehead against hers. Silence was in the air as Amy had her eyes closed. Winter remembered her mother doing this exact thing to her on occasion.
"Of course you are, silly. But paler than usual, which is saying something" joked Amy dryly, "You don't have a fever or anything, so that's good" Amy sighed as she pulled away from Winter. If she could tell how shocked Winter was from the contact, she didn't say anything though. Instead she chose to look at Winter with concern and a tilted head.
"If you've had trouble sleeping or something, I know this great tea recipe that always knocks me out cold!" Amy grinned as she bent over her desk and started to write out the ingredients on a scrap piece of paper she pulled out of nowhere. Winter stood there, shocked at how easily Amy had realized something was wrong with her. It never ceased to amaze her how perceptive their receptionist is.
"Thanks, Amy, but I think I'll be ok after today" Winter explained as she rubbed the back of her head. Amy either wasn't listening or didn't care, because she kept writing away until nearly the whole paper was used up. Amy put down her pen and looked it over for a sec before nodding to herself and handing it over to Winter.
"Now, it might look a little complicated, but it's not that bad. The main thing is, the honey has to be warm before you add in the milk. Otherwise you're gonna get weird dreams. Like, the last time I didn't do it right I dreamed I was a raccoon who could fly! It was a fun dream at least" Amy giggled as Winter put it in her pocket, not even looking at it, but appreciating it nonetheless. "By the way, you're going to the party, right? It's gonna be such a fun time!" Amy chirped, stars in her eyes.
"Well, I've got a lot of stuff planned for the next two days, but I think I should be done in time for the party" Winter admitted, the girl's excitement getting the better of her. Amy raised her hand, trying, and failing miserably, at trying to hide the huge and mischievous grin that had sprouted on her face.
"That's right, you're going on your first vacation, how could I forget! Going on a romantic trip with your bae?" Amy winked at Winter, causing Winter to explode in a blush. It didn't last though, as memories of Halloween came back, crushing the embarrassment out of her. Sadly it didn't get rid of the confusion about what the heck a 'bae' was. Winter had a guess, but she didn't want to ask, who knows how deep that rabbit hole would go?
"Amy, you know Qrow and I aren't like that. Besides, I haven't really talked to him much lately" Winter sighed, suddenly feeling a lot less energetic than she had been. Amy lowered her hand away from her face, and while the grin was gone, there was still a small, genuine smile on her face.
"I know, I know. I keep telling you to go for it anyway, but you'll never listen. It just… It sucks. Seeing you this sad, I mean. You and James are always helping other people, but here you are all broken up over him? That just doesn't seem fair I guess" Amy mumbled, sad smile still on her face.
"I'm fine, Amy. Not getting with a boy isn't the end of the world," It just hurts, Winter thought, making sure she shut her mouth before those words flew out with the rest of them. Amy still seemed to hear them though, as the concern in her face grew.
"No matter what happens with boys, you still got me" Amy said sweetly as she reached out and took Winters hands, bringing an honest smile to Winters face for the first time in far too long, "Plus, you'll still have booze. Which is whhhy, you should go to the party! Open bar! You, me, and a couple margaritas before making friends with the floor!" Amy grinned as she pulled Winter in close and wrapped her arm around Winters shoulder, "What do ya say?" Amy questioned, trying her best to sound suave. The thought of drinking made her stomach a bit uneasy, but then again, she was a bit more experienced now…
"Last time I drank I hardly got one drink down before I felt like everything was spinning. But that does sound nice" Winter admitted, which made Amy woop as she threw her hands in the air in victory. She also succeeded in making Winter bust out laughing.
"I can't make any promises though, I really do have a lot to do!" Winter got out, but Amy just twirled around with a smile plastered on her face.
"We're gonna have so much fun!" Amy said as she came to a halt in front of Winter with her arms out wide like she was going in for a hug.
"If I can go," Chuckled Winter.
"If you can go, obviously! Come on, Win, that's totally what I meant! If you can go," Amy's smile fell for a sec before coming right back up as she tried to contain her joy. Winters eyes moved to the clock and she was surprised at how long they'd been talking for.
"Alright, I need to get going, Amy. I'll see you soon, OK?" Winter smiled as she started to walk towards the elevator. She'd hardly made it two steps before she felt something hit her from behind, and she found it hard to move. Winter looked down and found Amy's arms wrapped around her.
"Try and get some rest, ok? And try that tea, it works, I swear" Amy told her, voice straight and caring, but obviously wanting to say more. Winter couldn't help but smile again. Amy really did care about her, and that comfort meant more than she could describe.
"I will, I promise. Thanks, Amy… Really" Winter told her softly as she managed to wiggle around in the girls arms so they were facing so she could give the girl a proper hug.
Before long, Winter pulled away and walked to the elevator, pressing the button. Amy stood close by as the elevator opened, filled to the brim with corporate people in suits, all talking on their phones. Business as usual. Amy stood there watching her go with a smile and a wave as the elevator door started to slide closed. Winter made sure to return the smile and wave before they shut all the way, and the noise of everyone's talking filled her ears.
It wasn't overwhelming or anything, if anything it was more comforting this way. People discussing future business, apologizing to spouses for being late, and people just having normal conversations all melded together into simple, distracting, noise. And distractions were good right now.
Winter pulled out her phone, seeing she had a new message from Qrow, but nothing else. Without another word, Winter slid the phone back into her jacket pocket, her heart beating fast. She listened to the noise to calm her nerves, and it helped, if only a little.
Winter started to think about what she should eat when the elevators opened in the lobby. Everyone shuffled out in one large hoard before dispersing like dust in a hurricane, leaving Winter standing by herself in the large room. Well, not really by herself, the room was still crowded, despite the end of the workday already coming and going. She didn't stay long, leaving the building for the snow filled sidewalks and frigid winds.
Winter walked out of the building to find the wind calm and the snow mostly plowed away. It was still cold though, at least to everyone else. Everyone around her was at least three layers deep in clothing, with hats, gloves, and scarves of every color dotted around the crowd. Winter on the other hand only had a simple white jacket on. Sure, it was kind of thick, but two layers for most people seemed crazy. She also wasn't wearing a hat or gloves, instead opting to keep her hands in her pockets as she walked down the street to the parking garage her car was at.
"Ya know, some people say your body heat escapes through the top of your head if you don't wear a hat" Said a deep voice from behind her. He wasn't talking loud, but hearing it made her flinch non the less. She just hoped he hadn't noticed.
"Well those people should know that's a myth… I asked my doctor when I was a kid about it and he laughed" Winter admitted as Qrow walked closer to her, a small smile on his face.
"That sounds about right," Chuckled Qrow, "Don't tell the girls though, the only reason they actually bundle up in the cold is because of that myth" Qrow told her softly. She knew he was joking, but something about his voice seemed off. Like something was missing. Winter gulped as he got closer, "Could I walk you to your car? We need to talk, and it's a little cold to stand out here without moving" Qrow wondered. All Winter could do was nod in response, she really didn't know what to say.
The silence between on the way to her car felt like stale bread, hard and crackly, with neither of them really wanting to touch it first. Qrow coughed, before he bit the bullet and spoke up.
"I tried to text you. Not sure if you saw them or not, but I asked if we could meet up somewhere. You never got back to me so I figured, hey, it's not that far to her work" Qrow shrugged nonchalantly. He was lying, obviously. It was a pretty decent drive to her work from his house and the shop.
"No, my phone died a bit ago," Winter lied, feeling a pang of guilt in her chest. Yeah, she'd seen the messages, but she hadn't even thought about looking at them, let alone responding, "What did you wanna talk about?"
"It was game night the other day, and Yang picked some card game, and somehow I managed to win. But… they asked about you. They really missed you" he looked over at her, but Winters eyes were looking down at the snow.
Qrow was waiting for her to talk, heck, he might not have been sure if she'd even heard him. She had. God, she wished she hadn't though.
"I told you, I had to stay late at work and I didn't want you guys staying up for me. There's nothing to ask about" Winter tried to defend herself weakly.
"Yeah, that's what I told them. They begged me to call you anyway, to tell you to come over as late as you wanted. You never picked up" Qrow was talking calmly, but his words were cutting into her like daggers. The two of them walked into the parking garage where her car was, standing just inside of the structure and out of the snow.
"I- I must've missed them. Sorry" apologized Winter as she looked away, making sure Qrow couldn't see the tears at the edges of her eyes. When she turned back, he'd tensed up.
"Ya know, you could just say you don't want to come, Winter. You don't have to lie about being busy or missing calls. Just say you don't want to go" Qrow spat, annoyance emanating from his voice.
"It's not that I don't wanna go! I just… I've been a bit distracted lately is all" Winter shot back, her frustration bubbling to the surface, but just for a moment.
"Distracted? Winter, I know we haven't talked much lately, but the girls need you. They can tell something isn't right, and they don't know what's going on. Especially Ruby, she tells you everything on Halloween and then a few months later this? You're the last person I expected to forget how this would make her feel! She thinks it's her fault you've been distant for christ's sake!"
Qrow was breathing heavily and his fists were clenched tight in his gloves. Winter had never seen him snap like that. Get annoyed? Sure, every other minute, but never like this. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down his beating heart.
"Look, I'm not sure if you've been distant because of what I did on Halloween or what. If that's the case, then I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. But still, you were right about those girls needing you" Qrow looked at her with regret, sadness, but there was still a small spec of that anger there. She couldn't really blame him though, he was right, "If you want them to come to your office or something from now on, I can probably talk them into it. That or you could meet them somewhere, or hell, I could even leave the house for you. If me being there is an issue, then I won't be there. Just… they need your help"
Winter silently stood there, wanting to disappear into nothingness. Whether or not he was trying to, he had cut her to ribbons with his words. She knew that the girls would be sad she wasn't there, but she didn't think they would take it so personally. Maybe she's been a lot more distracted than she originally thought, because he was right, she should have known how they'd feel. Hell, it was her job to know that.
She knew that she should've gone to game night, should be there to support the girls. After all, that's one of the main reasons she said no to Qrow. But looking up at Qrows face, looking into his eyes, she remembered why she couldn't bring herself to go.
She had gone to a few game nights after Halloween, and they had been fun. She'd had nice talks to Yang, Maria, and Ruby. Talking to the girls about their parents and pasts, getting them to open up little by little. It was nice. But every time she looked at Qrow, it felt like she was getting punched in the stomach with firsts made of pure guilt.
His eyes lacked their usual flame and passion, his jokes were a lot more forced, and his smiles seemed fake at best when they were directed at her. He was hurting, and she knew that it was her fault. She didn't know what to say to make it better, or if there was anything she could even say.
The worst part was that the feelings she'd had for him on Halloween, that she'd had for who knows how long now, were still there. She'd locked them in a cage and melted down the key, but they thrashed and slammed on the cage every time she saw him. Even now, with him angry at her, they still cried for release, begging her to go up to him and apologize, to kiss him, to ask for forgiveness… but she couldn't do it.
Maybe it was childish, mean, and self centered, but she couldn't see him. She didn't want to hurt him any more than she had, and she didn't want to hurt herself anymore either. It was hard constantly holding that door shut after all. She wanted to help the girls, to talk to them, but it was too painful with Qrow. But even then, she still wanted him there with her. It felt like her emotions were throwing her around in a washing machine and she was starting to get whiplash.
"Qrow, I… I don't know. You're right, I haven't been there when I've needed to be, and I'm sorry. Maybe it would be best if I just met with the girls, but I need to think about it. Honestly, I've been a little out of it lately, but I should be better soon. I wish I could give you and answer now, but I really have to go. I'm not just saying that to get out of talking, either, I promise. I have something to go to. but I'll text you" Winter had the urge to hug him, but she stopped herself before her body could try it. Qrows cold eyes gazed into her soul, and apparently found something, but she didn't know what.
"Alright then," Qrow told her, sounding somewhat annoyed, but understanding. His eyes suddenly grew wide and he looked away before talking again, "The girls would've killed me if I'd forgotten. They wanted me to invite you over for Christmas day. We weren't planning on doing much, but they thought you might wanna come by for when they opened presents. They said don't worry about getting anything for them, they just want you there. If you don't wanna go, or can't make it or whatever, that's fine. Just tell me. They'll understand" His voice was a lot calmer now and he almost sounded embarrassed to ask her.
"I'm going out of town for a few days, but I might be back in time… I'll let you know" Winter told him, but she really didn't know. Qrow could see the hesitation in her eyes, only nodding in response. He didn't even say goodbye as he turned and walked back into the snow.
Winter felt empty as he left. Not for the first time, she wanted to curl up on the floor and cry or to run after him. But just like those other times, she had to grit her teeth and fight to hold her tears in.
With trembling fingers she pulled out her phone as she started walking to her car. Her eyes grew wide as she looked down and saw a new text. She opened her phone and it said: We're all set. Winter took a long, deep breath as two tears slid down her cheeks, but a small smile grew on her lips.
Winter slid her phone back in her pocket as she fished out her keys and unlocked her car. Winter made sure to double check that her suitcase was in the back seat along with a small wrapped box before she started her car. She was glad that she'd packed her bags the night before and loaded them into her car that morning, definitely saved her some time.
A small part of her wondered if she should get directions on her phone, but she decided against it, she remembered the way. Winter put her car in drive, and left the parking garage starting down the road at a nice slow speed. Winter was nervous, but excited. Because just like that, without a word to anyone, Winter was on her way to somewhere she never thought she'd ever go again. Home.