30 TFB: Of Fantasy & Football

"I feel fine, we may not have been born/As awake as you were/It was much harder in those days"

-Alanis Morissette, song "The Couch"

Noon, Saturday, March 2046, Living Room, Vera Manor, Seattle, Washington

"It is time this Vera-Valensi-Chase-Halliwell meeting came to order," Harry called out at the throng of magical folk seated in the living room's velveteen couches before him.

"Wyatt," Leo called out. "You forgot 'Wyatt.'"

"My apologies," spoke Harry again. "Vera-Valensi-Chase-Halliwell-Wyatt."

Fourteen people were in attendance—the Halliwells, plus the Vera clan (except Abigael and Tory), and Valensi descendants (save Maya and Henry). Maya was wrapping up her clinical research rotations at Columbia, Henry didn't have magical powers and was busy lecturing, Tory was in the middle of law school final exams, and Abigael was…Abigael, attending monster board meetings, literally speaking. Morgana and Matias couldn't risk traveling due to old age (a century and counting).

"We're here," Matilda chimed in, "to figure out how to leverage our shared power to defeat the Portender and his fire spawn, once and for all," as everyone nodded in understanding—except one.

"There's nothing you can do. It'll find us, and when it does, we're all dead," muttered Maggie morosely as Harry and Matilda glanced in her general direction.

"Well, you're just a ray of sunshine now, aren't ya!" Piper shot back, from the opposite couch where she, her sisters, her husband, and grandson Wyatt were. "We didn't orb all the way from California for that defeatist attitude—"

"We kick evil's ass every day," said Paige, sipping her glass of sparkling water.

"Sometimes twice a day," added Phoebe confidently. "We can totally do this!"

12:20 pm, Living Room, Vera Manor, Seattle, Washington

"This is a diagram of all known powers, plus a battle draft," began Jordan, who took his turn at the helm.

"Wait, isn't that your fantasy football board?" Maggie asked, somewhat skeptically, eyeing the tournament brackets of the left half of Jordan's dry erase board, the right side completely blank.

"Yeah, but lemme get to it," he answered as he began writing on the right side. "For purposes of combat, we have Wyatt's family—Piper, Phoebe, Paige. We also have Matilda's family—Macy, Harry, Maggie, Jordan, Mel, and Abigael," writing a "(?)" question mark next to Abigael's name, as nobody was certain whether she would show up to fight, due to whatever pacts she was currently negotiating.

"Wait, what about me?" Leo asked. "I can fight too—"

"True," replied Jordan, "but from what Harry and I understand of your family and ours, we gotta keep our families safe too. We want you and Mel's daughter Tory to stand guard over Matias and Morgana at Epicenter Pico No. 22 on the day of in case any fire spawn attack or try to hold them hostage."

"Ok," said Leo slowly. "Where exactly is this 'Epicenter Pico'?"

"The Azores Islands," Harry answered casually, as Leo's mouth dropped open.

"Seriously?" he breathed. "Awesome!"

Piper shot Leo an exasperated look. "Lemme get this straight, Harry, my husband's going on a tropical vacation while wefight to the death? That doesn't sound fair—"

"Fair? Hardly," admitted Harry, much to Piper's surprise, who expected more hedging. "Equitable though? Absolutely."

Piper sighed. "Fine."

12:27 pm, Living Room, Vera Manor, Seattle, Washington

"As for Matilda's side of the family," continued Jordan, "we want Wyatt Senior, "Wy," to stand guard with Maya over Henry in Vermont."

"Is that really necessary?" Wy asked, his eyebrow raised. "We'd be better off on the ground, helping the Charmed Ones—all of them—fight. Right?"

"Well," interjected Harry, "another reason we're doing this is to make sure everyone's not all in the same place at once."

"Why's that?" inquired Wy.

"So the Portender doesn't change his mind and extinguish five generations of magic in one sitting," whispered Maggie, a stray tear flowing down her cheek.

Jordan walked over to where Maggie was sitting, stroking her back. "Sweetie, are you ok enough to sit in on this? You don't have to—" Maggie shook her head vehemently and took several deep breaths.

"I'm ok, Jordan, I swear."

12:45 pm, Living Room, Vera Manor, Seattle, Washington

Harry then wrote down a comprehensive list of combat abilities, grouping them by topic: Whitelighters, telekinesis, mind/spells, mobility/potions, and fire:

Whitelighters:

Wyatt and Harry—orbing and healing

Telekinesis:

Paige—telekinetic orbing (objects into hand)

Macy—telekinesis

Mind/Spells:

Phoebe—precognition and empathy

Maggie—mind control and empathy

Mobility/Potions:

Piper—immobilization

Mel—boiling and freezing, immobilization, potions

Fire:

Matilda—pyro-kinesis, pyro-immobilization, pyro-telepathy

Jordan—(non-magic) fire extinguisher(?)

Harry looked around the room. "For the next half hour, I want the people listed in these categories to spread out across Vera Manor, introduce yourselves if you don't know each other already, and brainstorm ways to defeat the Portender. You have till 1:15 pm. Starting…." He clicked his phone's stopwatch on. "Now!"

12:49 pm, Living Room, Vera Manor, Seattle, Washington

"I'm Paige—"

"Macy—" as the two shook hands. "D'you want to meet upstairs in the attic?"

"Sure, race you there?" Paige said, with a twinkle in her eye.

12:53 pm, Attic, Vera Manor, Seattle, Washington

Macy pushed the door open as Paige sat squarely on the soft vintage couch. "You can't be serious," Macy breathed. "You're part Whitelighter?" Paige nodded, laughing aloud.

"You must've had a charmed childhood, pun intended," Macy mused aloud. Hearing this, Paige's eyes grew somber; she shook her head.

"Not exactly…I mean," Paige hurriedly added, "don't get me wrong, being adopted's awesome, but I didn't find out till my twenties that I had sisters—magical ones."

"Wait, so you didn't know Piper and Phoebe were family?" Macy was surprised. Paige shook her head.

"And this was after Prue's death, the oldest, super sore subject, so, yeah, it got complicated—"

"Guess we have something in common then…" said Macy slowly. "I didn't find out till much later either. Necromancer stuff, being reborn, y'know. Right after my mom's death."

"Yeah, Piper filled us in."

"Did you have a necromancer curse too?" Macy then asked. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to—"

"No, it's ok," said Paige. "No curse. Just—being left on a doorstep by Patty and her Whitelighter lover—"

"Oh my God," whispered Macy. "I'm so sorry—"

"Don't be," Paige replied. "I was lucky enough to have two awesome parents, and now I have two awesome sisters. I got lucky. Like you."

3 pm, Living Room, Vera Manor, Seattle, Washington

After reconvening for a late lunch at 1:30 pm (tea, cucumber lox sandwiches, and miniature chicken pot pies), it was unanimously agreed that Leo and Tory would likely keep watch over the Azores region where Morgana and Matias were, as they were much older by this time and vulnerable to attacks, even if they themselves thought they were invincible.

Matilda's brother Henry, having minimal magical power of his own, was able to carve out a life for himself in a sleepy town in Vermont, and Maya and Wy would likely orb there and stand guard as things commonly transpired. Abigael had a myriad of mysterious board meetings.

Jordan's tournament brackets were still mostly empty, but at the center was written "Matilda" versus "Portender," with notes in the margins for Plans A through C, and plan S.

Phoebe raised her hand. "What's Plan S?"

"Plan 'Shit-Hits-the-Fan,'" Jordan replied as Phoebe and Maggie exchanged wary looks. "Any other questions?" Nobody answered.

"Alrighty then," Harry began. "It's time for our next session—" as he produced a two-inch-diameter orb. Matilda groaned. She knew exactly what that meant.

3:15 pm, Living Room, Vera Manor, Seattle, Washington

"Um, what's that?" Piper asked, pointing at the orb.

"A simulation crystal, to create scenarios to test our powers before we battle the Portender. Practice makes perfect, after all—"

"But Dad," Matilda entreated Harry. "What if I accidentally burn someone? Honestly, I'm scared I could do some serious damage—" but Harry shook his head.

Phoebe piped up, "I'm not afraid of our powers. I mean, everyone inherits something from their family, right?" she said, looking in Matilda's direction, who resignedly agreed. So it was settled.

"Consider this first simulation," Harry paused, "a diagnostic test of your abilities."

3:30 pm, Simulation, Living Room, Vera Manor, Seattle, Washington

The four fiery servants and the familiar leering face of the Portender appeared before them in a torrential, emblazoned hurricane. The first flame spawn reared its flickering head toward Maggie, causing her to stumble backwards into Jordan's arms as his arm suffered massive 3rd degree burns, causing her to lose her head entirely as he screamed in agony. In their haste to aid Maggie and Jordan, Wyatt and Harry orbed atop each other in the chaos, as Macy tried using her telekinesis to lift the curio off its hinges to impede the fire spawn's path and that of the Portender, inadvertently knocking Phoebe unconscious. Mel and Piper were at opposite ends of the room, attempting to use their immobilization techniques to freeze the flames; realizing their efforts were in vain, they simultaneously attempted to freeze the Portender, but their angles were such that they unintentionally froze each other in the process.

3:50 pm, Living Room, Vera Manor, Seattle, Washington

"Bloody hell," Harry muttered once the simulation ended, surveying the groaning, exhausted motley crew before him. "We've certainly got our work cut out for us."