Chapter Eleven: Yin and Yang
Chris: [narrating] Last time on Total Drama Encore, the gang nearly turned into Swedish meatball pops. But our competition heated way up as the tensions between Eva and Colleen continued to add fuel to the fire. Meanwhile, we found out what happens when you give Buster the role of captain, he will sink your ship if it's the last thing he'll do, which is exactly what happened to Team Mink's ship. [chuckles] In the end, with a little motivation from Eva, Loopy finally grew that thing called a backbone and orchestrated the elimination of Colleen by convincing Minerva to remain as the only pretty girl. Nice one, dude. Who's gonna take the heat today? We'll see, cuz this show is so hot, it'd take about a bazillion gallons of water to cool us off! And we got 'em comin' up on Total...Drama...Encore!
[cue theme song, the episode continues]
[scene shows Team Mink brooding in the economy class section]
Minerva: You know, I was thinking, seeing as us three are the only members of our team left, I suggest we stick together for the remainder of the competition. After all, the members of Team Ultimate are gonna be after our blood if we don't take charge.
Eva: I'll concede to the terms one condition; Ella joins our group and you will not vote against any of us no matter what happens.
Minerva: I believe that can be arranged. Now as for who we should get rid of once we hit the merge, I'm suggesting we go after the power couple, Tramp and Buster. Those two are sticking quite closely together, which will ultimately prove detrimental if we don't do something about it sooner.
Loopy: Well, I suppose seeing as we would four votes on our side with 'ze addition of Ella, that means we would have 'ze majority.
Minerva: Exactly, as long as we stick together, I can assure us a smooth journey to the final four. Once we get there, we'll see what happens.
[static buzzing]
Minerva: Judging by who's left in the competition, I have no plans to keep the more physical players in the long run. As a result, I'll need to make sure to get rid of the likes of Buster and Eva sooner than later. As for who I'd face in the final two, I need someone who's spineless, lacks the drive to really overpower me. Bridgette seems ripe for the picking, her clumsiness would undoubtedly prove to be her greatest downfall, meaning she'd be easy to beat. Loopy's another possible candidate, seeing as there's no way he'd get overly physical in trying to take down a lady, so with a few magic words, I could essentially make him give me the win without having to do too much work. The only wild cards are Tramp and Ella, but I'm pretty sure I can crush them. [sighs contentedly] Thinking things out is always the way to go.
[static buzzing]
Eva: I'm not fond of that Minerva for even a little bit, but if she can prove herself trustworthy, then I'll let her live...but the second she shows signs of betrayal, I'm making a fur coat out of her.
[static buzzing]
Loopy: It is such a relief to have gotten 'zis far in de competition. I believe that you don't need to be all cunning and devious in order to win, just act in a professional manner and do onto others as they would do to you. At 'ze same time, I cannot help but feel...apprehensive at 'ze thought of my position in the merge. There are two couples that equal four people on one side, and no doubt that they stick together regardless of 'ze vote, leaving me, Minerva, and Bridgette out in 'ze circle. So, unless a 3-2-2 vote occurs instead of a 4-3...I'm not sure how well I'll be able to manage.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the first-class section where Team Ultimate is seen relaxing]
Ella: You know, seeing as there's only seven people left in the game, that means the merge must be on the horizon. Meaning Eva and I can once again be on the same team, where there are no teams, hehe!
Bridgette: Speaking of that, making the merge again after two horrible runs feels so good inside. Especially considering that this is officially the farthest I've ever made it on this show.
Ella: That is good news, Bridgette. You must feel so proud of yourself.
Bridgette: [blushes] Oh, Ella, you're too sweet.
[static buzzing]
Bridgette: You know, she's right, I do feel proud of myself for making it this far. Although I'm admittedly a little bit wary of the fact that two couples will be merging as well. I might need to start finding alternative allies just in case.
[static buzzing]
Tramp: So, you thinkin' of what you're gonna do once the teams merge?
Buster: It's simple; the two of us and them two chicks, the beauty and the brawn, join us in a couples alliance.
Tramp: You know, what you just said about "beauty" and "brawn", you realize something?
Buster: That it could apply to the two of us, beautiful?
Tramp: [blushes and turns away] Ooooooh, stop it, you!
Buster: Awww, c'mon, lemme see that lovely face of yours, you know you look cute when you blush like that.
Tramp: [turns around, still slightly blushing] This better?
Buster: You betcha, tck-tck~ [winks]
Tramp: Hehe...but, for real, you think we could pull off a couples alliance?
Buster: Well, I've no doubt about it, the four of us stick together should give us a little reassurance in the vote. Now, in the case that certain circumstances arise, we'll cross that bridge when you get there.
Tramp: You know, I never pegged you to be the strategist type.
Buster: Hehe, then you clearly don't remember the times when me and you had to plan out on making a living for ourselves back in the day. You remember when we both used to work at that junkyard?
Tramp: If memory serves me correctly, that was essentially our home for the majority of our lives...hehe, I remember when we used to sweat our backs off hauling all them broken pieces of metal, really brings back the memories of the good ole' days...well, before...you know...I'm still sorry about abandoning you and...my old way of life…[sighs]...even though it wasn't the nicest or the cleanest way of living, it was still something I made work and had someone alongside the whole way...before I squandered everything…
Buster: [pulls Tramp close to him] Well...the important thing is that you eventually found the light~
Tramp: [sighs contentedly] I'd forgotten how good this feels, and with you, it feels even better.
Intercom: This is your captain speaking. Telling you to qǐng zhǔnbèi jiàngluò...that means please prepare for landing.
[scene cuts to the contestants and Chris standing in front of the Great Wall of China]
Chris: Ni-hao. Welcome to China, a vast country rich in history, culture, innovation, and delicious sauces. Our first challenge is torn from the pages of her rich history. In 8000000 BC, King Dim Sum led a battalion of donkey warriors down this very Great Wall.
Bridgette: Um, that's actually incorrect. 8000000 BC was the Miocene Era. There were dinosaurs.
Chris: Yeah, what she said. But before we begin the challenge, I'd like to announce that as of now, the teams are officially dissolved! Meaning that from now on, it's every player for themselves.
Ella: Ooooooh, Eva. Do you know what this means?
Eva: I get to look at your pretty face without having to be separated?
Ella: [blushes and waves her hand gaily] Hehe, you have all the charisma of a prince, but better.
Chris: I'm sure the yuri fanboys would love to see you two lovebirds making out, or should I include yaoi fanboys as we have four lovebirds. [chuckles] But, we've got a schedule to maintain. We provided a selection of vehicles to race to our mystery destination. They're first come, first served. It's the Chinese way. Ready...set…[his phone rings and he picks up] I better get this. McLean here. Yeah, I'm trying to do a show here.
Eva: Do we go or what?
Chris: Mhm, yeah.
Tramp: Yeah, we go?
Chris: Yeah, can we do this later?
Buster: So we go now?
Chris: Okay, fine! [to the contestants as they run off] Hey, who said you could go?! Yeah, well watch out! There's a few things I was gonna warn you about, but...forget it. [chuckles]
[scene cuts to the contestants running up the wall]
Minerva: Say, Ella, I was thinking that you could join me, Eva, and Loopy in an alliance for us to have the majority.
Ella: Oh, that sounds intriguing.
Buster: Except I was thinking of something better; a couples alliance. You, me, Tramp, and Eva.
Ella: Hehe, that sounds romantic.
Minerva: Hey, I saw her first, so back off!
Buster: No chance, minky! My deal's more solid than yours.
Minerva: Oh, so I suppose it's soild enough to avoid THIS! [clubs Buster on the nose with the back of her hand]
Buster: YOWCH! Oh, it is so on, bitch! [trips Minerva with his foot, causing her to land face first on the open carriage]
Minerva: Oof!
[static buzzing]
Buster: What can I say, you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
[static buzzing]
Minerva: Right, eliminating Buster just got to the top of my list.
[static buzzing]
Minerva: [sits down on the seat in the carriage] Would anyone be so kind as to help pull? [sees the closest person next to her] Bridgette!
Bridgette: Huh?
Minerva: Be a darling and pull my carriage to the finish line?
Bridgette: Well…
[static buzzing]
Bridgette: I know Minerva's not exactly a particularly trusting person from what I've seen of her, but at the moment, the thought of the couples joining forces is putting me on edge. So I guess I'll have to take my chances.
[static buzzing]
Bridgette: Alright, I'll give you a hand, but in return, you have to do something for me.
Minerva: Ah, yes. What'd that be?
Bridgette: That you won't vote for me at the ceremony.
Minerva: Done and done.
[static buzzing]
Minerva: So, I'm at the position of letting either Ella or Bridgette into my alliance. Best case scenario, I get a five-person alliance. Which means Buster's getting a ticket to the Drop of Shame.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to Eva trying to find any available mode of transport, but the only thing remaining are a pair of traditional wooden sandals]
Eva: You're kidding me, right? These are only things left?
Ella: [while riding a mule] If you want, I can make some space for you to ride with me on Mr. Mule.
Chris: [in a helicopter] Uh-bup-bup, no you don't! You get the mode of transport for yourself only!
Ella: I suppose I can't help you with this one. But perhaps I could stay with you and keep pace?
Eva: [sighs] No...it wouldn't be fair to let you fall behind just for me. You go on ahead, I'll catch up with you later.
Ella: Oh...well...at least let me give you a good luck kiss. [kisses Eva on the cheek, causing her to blush and then smile] I'll be waiting for you, sweetheart, now onwards, Mr. Mule!
[Mr. Mule brays as he carries Ella away, leaving Eva to stare glumly at the sandals]
Eva: [as she walks with the sandals now on her feet] Ow! Ow! Damn stupid-ow! Ancient pieces of sh-ow!
[static buzzing]
Eva: Did I ever mention how much I hate Chris? Because I wanna take those stupid sandals and shove them RIGHT UP HIS A-
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to Tramp on a bike and Buster on a skateboard as they race down the pathway]
Buster: Ya' know, it's not everyday you get to race down the Great Wall of China next to someone special.
Tramp: Aww, are you trying to woo me into giving you the win?
Buster: Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, either way, I know how much you like it~
Tramp: Hehe, you know me too-LOOK OUT!
Buster: Huh? [looks ahead to see something lying on the path]
Chris: Yo, wanna know what else the Chinese invented?
[as Loopy bounces about on a pogo-stick, he sees a giant cloud of smoke billow ahead. It's soon revealed that either Tramp or Buster hit the bomb as they're both coated in ash]
Buster: Thanks for the…[coughs]...headups…
Tramp: Don't…[coughs]...mention it…
[scene cuts to Ella trotting cheerfully along, humming a little tune]
Ella: The scenery of China is truly beautiful, although, I know something, or more specifically, someone who is more beautiful…[sighs in bliss...and then frowns]...I do hope that Eva is okay. The poor dear.
[static buzzing]
Ella: I would have gladly given up Mr. Mule for Eva to take instead. I feel so bad for leaving her behind. But if she says that she can manage, who am I to stand in her way?
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to Chris in the helicopter]
Chris: Anybody who survives meet me at the finish! There's more bombs to come, plus free fortune cookies with every takeout entree, right here on Total...Drama...Encore!
[a bomb sets off as Loopy is flung into the air and passes the helicopter before falling back down]
[scene cuts to black, the episode continues]
[scene shows Chris standing before the finish line]
Chris: Welcome back to Total Drama where our contestants are in a mega-touch race down the Great Wall of-
Buster and Tramp: [off-screen] Look out!
[Chris jumps through one of the open spaces as the two canines finally come to an abrupt stop past the finish line]
Buster: So...which one of us came in first?
Tramp: May we check the photo finish?
Chris: What show do you think you're on? There's no prize for first anyway.
Buster and Tramp: What?!
Chris: If you had waited for me to say the rules, anybody who makes it over the line before the gong rings gets to join me for a very special lunch, aka the next part of the challenge.
[at that moment, Bridgette comes panting in as she hauls in a content-looking Minerva]
Bridgette: [panting] We...we...made it…[falls to the floor in exhaustion]
Minerva: [steps out from the carriage] Thank you, Bridgette. You were a massive help.
[static buzzing]
Bridgette: On second thought, aliging with Minerva probably wasn't the best idea.
[static buzzing]
[Ella soon arrives on her mule]
Ella: I'm here! [looks at Tramp and Buster and winces] Oh, my. What happened to you t-
Eva: Whoa! Can't stop, no traction! [grunts as she runs into the gong and falls on her back] Those shoes are a war crime!
Chris: You didn't have to wear them.
Eva: What?!
Chris: If you had waited for me to announce the rules-
Eva: Piss off!
Chris: Okay, people! It's time to-
[at that moment, a slightly charred Loopy springs past the finish line and collapses on the ground in exhaustion]
Loopy: Oh, chers loups d'en haut...
[Chris rings the gong]
[scene cuts to the interior of a Chinese restaurant]
Chris: To win today, you'll have to eat more than everybody else at this totally awesome Chinese restaurant.
Ella: Well, that doesn't sound so bad.
Chris: 'Cept that this is the world's most authentic Chinese restaurant. You'll be enjoying real street food delicacies. Deep fried grasshoppers, Kung Pao larvae...
Loopy: [retches]
Minerva: I'm with him. That is absolutely disgusting!
Chris: [is about to speak when his phone rings again and he picks up] Yo, it's McLean. Yeah, I'm trying to make a show here.
Bridgette: [shudders] This is giving me Wawanakwa flashbacks. They made us eat bull testes.
Tramp: [recoils] Okay, yeah, that's an unpleasant imagery.
Bridgette: That's not even the worst part, they made us eat...dolphins. If there's one thing I will never do in the entirety of my life, it's consume seafood.
Chris: Okay! You have to eat each bowl of delish food, opening your mouth to prove it went down. If you're last to finish or you puke, you go sit on the loser bench.
[Chef passes out the bowls to the contestants. Loopy picks up his dish with his chopsticks]
Loopy: What is it?
[Ding, Ding!]
Chris: Allow me to begin today's number.
[a Chinese tune starts to play]
Chris: A little Chinese lesson, for you. Manman chi means "enjoy your meal."
Bridgette, Buster, Ella, Eva, Loopy, Minerva, and Tramp: Manman chi. It's no raw deal.
Loopy: Is it roasted eel?
Chris: It's donkey meat. Local delicacy.
[Tramp, Loopy, and Minerva all make sounds of disgust at this]
Ella: [gasps] But...I rode on a mule earlier...I can't possibly eat one of his own!
Buster: Done!
Eva: Done!
Loopy: Mmmmmmmmmm...done…[holds in a wretch]
Tramp: [exhales loudly] Done!
Minerva: [gulps] Done!
Ella: I...I...I can't do it…
Bridgette: [sighs] Same here...these poor animals…
Chris: Bridgette, Ella, you're out! Loser bench!
[the two girls sigh sadly as they sit on the bench as asked]
[the contestants are then headed bowls of worms]
Chris: Manman chi means "bon appétit."
Buster, Eva, Loopy, Minerva, and Tramp: Manman chi. What do we have to eat?
Loopy: It is still moving its feet!
Minerva: Hundreds and hundreds of disgusting little feet!
Chris: Live mealworms. Local delicacy.
Tramp: You sure this isn't just the stuff they feed prisoners?
Eva: [gulps] Done!
Buster: Done!
Tramp: Done!
Minerva: Done!
Loopy: [tries to swallow...but ultimately doesn't]
Chris: Loopy, you're out! Loser bench!
Loopy: [throws up and dejectedly sits down on the bench next to Bridgette and Ella]
Chris: Manman chi. It's dinner for four.
Buster, Eva, Minerva, and Tramp: Manman chi. We've got room for more.
Tramp: I think I'm nearly done for.
Chris: Starfish on a skewer! Local delicacy!
Tramp: [retches]
Minerva: [cringes and shuts her eyes] Okay, it's just starfish, just…[takes a bite and winces]
Eva: Done!
Buster: Done!
Minerva: [gulps] Done!
Chris: Tramp, you're out! Loser bench!
Tramp: [spits out a piece of starfish and sits down next to the others] This is literally testing poison at this rate.
[the remaining contestants are handed bowls of greenish mush and tentacles]
Chris: Yeah. We don't even know what that's called. It ain't right, whatever it is.
Eva: Okay, this is not food. This is...I don't know what to call it.
Buster: Torture?
Eva: Yeah, that'll work.
Chris: Manman chi. Don't get the squirts.
Buster, Eva, and Minerva: Manman chi. We'd rather eat our shirts!
Buster: Done!
Eva and Minvera: Done!
Chris: Ah, I see we have a tie-[his phone rings again and he picks up]-listen, man!
Eva: Ugh! [gets up from her seat]
Chris: Yeah, okay. Budget, blah blah blah. What am I supposed to do?
Eva: [takes Chris' phone from his hand] No one cares! [hangs up the phone] Now, get back to your job as host and host the frickin' show! [huffs back to her seat]
Chris: [clears throat] Yeah...we gotta wrap this up. So, here's the dealio. One last round, whoever wins has invincibility in tonight's vote and they get to spend a night in first-class.
Buster, Eva, and Minerva: Manman chi. (off-key) Manman chi-i-i.
Chris: They love to eat on The Yangtze. Manman chi. Manman...huh?
[Minerva retches and tries to keep her mouth closed, but surprisingly; both Buster and Eva end up vomiting]
Minerva: First-class has christened me with victory!
[scene cuts to Bridgette and Loopy standing outside the confessional]
Bridgette: So it's the same issue with you, huh?
Loopy: Sadly...it is...with 'ze couples undoubtedly joining forces, it leaves the two of us in a rather precarious situation.
Bridgette: Yeah...well, I have an idea, but I'm not sure if it's a good one.
Loopy: Well, what is it?
[Bridgette whispers the plan in Loopy's ear]
Loopy: Well...I suppose we have no other choice then…
Bridgette: Yeah...but hey...it was fun while it lasted.
[static buzzing]
Bridgette: I never thought I'd have to do something like this, but given my current situation along with Loopy's, it's really the only way I can think of. But hey, I'm not really all worried. In fact, I feel quite relieved.
[static buzzing]
Loopy: You know, 'ze plan might actually be better for the reasons one might not expect.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to black, at the Elimination Ceremony]
Chris: You all know the procedure by now, whoever doesn't get a bag of peanuts will be taking the Drop of Shame. Now get voting.
[static buzzing]
Ella: [stamps one of the passports]
[static buzzing]
Tramp: [stamps one of the passports]
[static buzzing]
Bridgette: [stamps one of the passports]
[static buzzing]
Eva: [stamps one of the passports]
[static buzzing]
Buster: [stamps one of the passports]
[static buzzing]
Loopy: [stamps one of the passports]
[static buzzing]
Minerva: [stamps one of the passports]
[static buzzing]
Chris: Alright, the votes are in. The following players are safe: Minerva [catches the bag]...Ella [catches the bag]...Eva [catches the bag]...and Tramp [catches the bag]. And surprisingly, in an equal 3-3 vote, the last bag goes to…
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Buster!
Buster: [catches the bag]
Minerva: What?!
Loopy: Que, me and Bridgette have decided to announce our resignation from the competition.
Bridgette: We see that you're all comfortable with one another, so we won't disturb you.
Chris: Weird flex, but okay.
[the French Canadian wolf and the surfer girl are handed parachutes and jump out of the plane]
Loopy: VIVA LA FRANCE!
Bridgette: FREEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!
[static buzzing]
Minerva: Why, those two backstabbing-they played me like a damn fiddle! And after all I did for them! ARGH!
[static buzzing]
Chris: [in the cockpit with Chef] Five contestants, one millions dollars, and a whole bunch of the world to mess up! Join us next time on Total...Drama...Encore!
[scene cuts to black as the episode ends]