"Heya Bridget, how's it going?" Bea asked warmly as she entered her final session for the week.
"Not too bad, I've barely seen Frankie all week though, she has been off doing secret missions and playing spy. I swear she is enjoying this all too much" Bridget frowned softly.
"well I'm going to be giving her a call soon and ordering her to take the weekend off… she is no use to me if she is burned out" Bea nodded.
"she is taking her bar exam today, in fact she should be in there right now" Bridget informed her proudly, she watched as Bea grinned happily, her face showing nothing but pride and happiness for her friend.
"how was she this morning, nervous?" Bea asked.
"oh yeah. She almost never went. She had a bit of a meltdown, started worrying that she couldn't do it and she was just setting herself up to fail. Sometimes I really just can't keep up with her changes between utter confidence and sheer self pity" Bridget confided. Bea nodded her head thoughtfully.
"she will do ok on her test though right? I mean she's so clever and always seems to know exactly what she's talking about. Any legal question I have asked her she has been able to answer easily and with thorough explanation… like she has been doing it for years. I can't wait till she can start practicing law and I can sack my worthless lawyer and start paying someone who actually knows what they are doing!" Bea admitted.
"I have every confidence that she will pass, as long as she doesn't let her nerves get a hold of her. She will know within a week if she has passed, so at least it's not too long for her to stress over it" Bridget thought out loud.
"well if you can, let me know as soon as you know. I know the girls would love to get a card together to congratulate her or something" Bea asked, smiling when Bridget nodded her head.
"anyways… enough about my woman… how is your woman?" Bridget smirked, she loved the way Bea always blushed slightly when Allie was brought into conversation. It was very sweet.
"Yeah things are going really well. Really really well. She's really excited about the case and I keep having to remind her that it may not happen"
"what makes you think that Bea?"
"well I am in prison for murdering two people… who I murdered. I'm exactly where I should be" Bea confessed.
"do you think you're a bad person Bea? Is that how you see yourself?"
"it's hard… I mean the person I am right now, I wouldn't hurt anyone… but this person that I used to be, that I can't remember… she did some terrible things. I mean from what I am told, she murdered Jacs in cold blood, then went after her son… both in revenge. What kind of person does that?" Bea asked as tears formed in her eyes.
"let me ask you this… if someone hurt Allie and you could stop them, would you?"
"well I wouldn't want Allie to get hurt, but I wouldn't just stick a pen in someone's neck to protect her… there are other ways to protect someone"
" and what if they were hurting her, and you tried to stop them, but they overpowered you and continued hurting Allie?"
"fuck I don't know… what could I do. I couldn't just sit there and watch someone I love be hurt… but I also couldn't just kill someone to protect her"
"what if it was Allie or her attacker. You have to choose which life to save"
"shit why are you asking me this"
"because I want you to understand that sometimes, not every time, but sometimes we have to do the wrong thing for the right reason. Take a look at a police officer, they don't wake up one morning and say 'I hope I get to shoot someone today ' but sometimes they are forced into that action in order to save somebody else. The victim. The helpless. The needy. And even after they have taken that terrible responsibility into their own shoulders, they need people like me to help them through it because they are so messed up because they know they did the right thing, but their guilt over taking someone's life, even an evil person, is too much for them to handle. Now I'm not saying if Allie is threatened, your first response should be to try and kill her attacker, however if it's the difference between Allie's life or her attackers life, and your out of options… then that is not something that would make you a bad person. Does that make sense?"
"does that mean if your partner was in that situation, you would kill someone?" Bea asked, deliberately not mentioning any names as the recorder was following the conversation.
"If it was the only option I had to protect someone I love from being killed by an attacker, I would do whatever it took to protect her. I don't see myself as a prospective murderer, I'm not a violent person at all. But there is a difference between self defense or protection of a loved one… and outright murder"
"how can you tell the difference. I mean how do I know if what I did was a bad thing, or a really bad thing"
"well first of all you have to be able to judge it for yourself, your no psychopath. Your able to feel empathy and your able to control yourself. Do you feel like what you did was a terrible thing, or was it necessary… not justified, but necessary"
Bea rubbed her face with a frown
"look let's stop talking hypothetically. Who are we talking about here?"
"Braydon"
"have you remembered anything?"
"no, I have been reading over the original case files Frankie supplied me with. I have read it so many times trying to force the memories to come back. I know the case files word for word, I have closed my eyes and tried to walk through it in my mind… but I just can't get anything. It's so… fucking frustrating"
"you know the more you force it, the longer it will take to return. You have to let it come back in its own time. As for Brayden Holt… he murdered the most important person in your life, it is understandable for you to have felt the need to avenge Debbie… it may not have been the right way to do it, but I challenge you to find a parent who wouldn't tell you that they would kill anyone who hurt their child"
"but saying you would do it and actually doing it are very different things"
"indeed they are. How do you feel about knowing he died at your hands?"
"honestly… sick to my stomach. I can't tell you how many times I have actually thrown up because I have thought about being the cause of his death… and Jacs."
"do you think it may help if I could arrange for someone who was there to walk through it with you, we can do it in the safety of my office. Mr. Jackson was there when you pulled the trigger… his explanation and description may be of some help"
Bea nodded nervously.
" I will speak to Mr. Jackson and see if it is something that he would be prepared to do. That's all I can promise right now. Other than this…have you had any further memories on anything?"
"just a few more insignificant things… things like picking Deb up from school one day and taking her to the park… I remembered a song that I always used to sing to her as a baby. I remembered a few little snippets of when I first got here… playing basketball with Frankie in the yard, that kind of thing. I remembered the night Allie finally kicked the drugs… not the whole night but snippets"
"that's great Bea. Fantastic news. What was the song?"
"brown eyed girl… by Van Morrison, I know it's not exactly a song for your kid… but she had these incredible big brown eyes as a baby. Everyone would comment on them" Bea announced then smiled as another memory returned to her.
"if you would be ok with it, I'm going to get hold of a copy of that song for you. I want to try playing it as background noise whilst we try and do some recollection exercises. See if we can help get a bit more back"
"sure. I would like that."
"right well. Let's call it a day, and I will get that tape and we will give it a go next week" Bridget smiled as she reached over and turned the tape recorder off, ejecting the tape and Placing it safely in her handbag.
"Hey Frankie, how did the test go?" Jane asked as she answered her mobile.
"I hope ok. I'm shitting myself that I failed though"
"don't, I'm sure it will be fine, and if you didn't pass then we will get you to revise a bit more and you will pass next time, no pressure"
"yeah I guess. I just want to pass it so I can put my studies behind me and focus on working" Frankie sighed.
"listen get yourself home, take a nice bath, get ready and make yourself look a million dollars for when Bridget gets home… then take her out and wine and dine her and forget all about bar exams, legal aid, Wentworth prison, Bea Smith and everything else that isn't Bridget… that's an order from your amazing boss"
"I'm not sure I would go as far as amazing but she's pretty ok… are we still on for Sunday afternoon?"
"cheeky! Definitely no pay rise for you this year! Yep still on for Sunday, do you need me to bring anything?"
"no no, just yourself. Gidge says she's going to do a barbeque whilst we look over this paperwork. So make sure you don't eat a big breakfast, coz if there is one thing she can cook… it's a barbeque"
Hanging up the phone from her boss, Frankie opened up her messages with Bridget, and after a few moments consideration of sending her an invitation to take an early finish, she instead asks 'Hey Babe, on my way back to get some stuff done, what time will you be home?' Satisfied that she hasn't given away the fact that she isn't going back to work, nor that she is going home either, she hit send, turned on her car and headed to the nearest Westfield's to do some retail therapy.
Her body and mind was exhausted, she had spent weeks now working full time, studying full time, and working on Bea's case in every spare minute in between, and it was catching up with her, so she made a mental decision that with only one appointment with her boss on Sunday afternoon. She was going to take the weekend off and focus on Gidge. She had been neglecting her lately, and their relationship, she missed her terribly, but she couldn't stop focussing on Bea's case, there was a mountain of work to go through and she needed to find answers to questions she couldn't even keep track of.
She was pulled from her thoughts by her ringtone echoing from her pocket, thinking it would be Bridget calling in response to her text, she hit the hot key which activated her hands free. She had laughed at people who used to walk around talking away to a device in her ear, but after working paralegal for months and being on the phone constantly, she had caved and purchased one, her elbows thanked her.
"G'day gorgeous, how's the hell hole?" Frankie grinned, she loved the little ball of excitement that bounced around her stomach when the woman of her desires called her, she still had to pinch herself at how lucky she was.
"Hey sexy, it's the same shit hole as usual" Bea grinned into the phone. "let me guess... you didn't look who was calling did you?" Bea laughed.
"Nah... lesson learnt, what can I do for you red?" Frankie laughed, she really enjoyed the new playful side to her friend.
"Well I wanted to check in on how your exams went, she said you were nervous this morning and last night so I just wanted to make sure that you're ok?" Bea asked, careful not to mention any names.
"All good red, I'm still nervous but I think I did ok. There wasn't any questions I couldn't answer, a few I struggled to think of examples for or struggled with specific names and dates... but I would be surprised if I didn't scrape through by the skin of my teeth" Frankie replied, a little surprised that Bea had taken the time to ask the question, she couldn't help but wonder if this was the real Bea, the one that she and Jacs Holt had worn down and beaten out of her.
"Great, I'm proud of you. Your doing fantastic out there, just keep your head up and your nose clean yeah" Bea ordered, her top dog voice almost shining through.
"Trust me Red, I have way too much to lose by messing up now" Frankie smiled at the thought of her girlfriend and the life and home they were building around them.
"Yes, well talking about everything you have to lose... I was speaking to a mutual friend today, who I get the impression is feeling a little bit left out, shall we say. So I'm calling to tell you to forget about the thing your doing for me this weekend, and spend some time with a beautiful woman" Bea tried to get her point across without making it obvious to anyone that may be listening in on their recorded call.
"Talking about me hey?" Frankie grinned.
"She wont shut up about you" Bea laughed softly with a smile, proud of Frankie for finding someone who is smitten with her whilst knowing about her history.
"God, I dread to think what she is saying" Frankie said, wondering if Bea would divulge any dirt on what Bridget says about her.
"You wouldn't want to know... where the hell are you anyway?" Bea asked, checking the timer on the prison phone to see how long she had left and smiling to see she had a few more minutes left.
"I'm just at the shops... I had actually come to the same conclusion all on my own and decided I would pick up some stuff and make a romantic dinner for two tonight" Frankie admitted as she entered a clothing shop to inspect a pair of jeans that had caught her eye.
"Good, god do you know what I would do to be able to just spend the afternoon shopping" Bea frowned.
"Hey Queen Bea, you just focus on getting your memory back and healing those wounds, let me worry about getting you shopping again... yeah?" Frankie smiled warmly, she could hear the desperation and frustration echoing around in Bea's voice.
"Yeah sure, listen I've gotta go, times up. But have a good weekend yeah, and make sure you spoil her rotten, she deserves it... she really loves you, you know" Bea smirked warmly.
"Yeah, I kind of really love her too" Frankie grinned before the phone cut off.
She moved to the changing rooms and tried on the black fitted jeans, checking out her arse in the mirror, she nodded in approval and decided that these were definitely a pair of jeans she needed in her life. She browsed a few more shops until she found a top that would go well with the jeans, something a little dressy, but not too over the top. Then she made her way to her favourite lingerie shop, she was slowly building up her collection of 'adult underwear' as she called it, and tonight she was trying to impress Gidge and so new underwear was a necessity.
She browsed the shops offerings for a long time, often picking up a bra or knickers before changing her mind. She wanted something different to what she normally would select. So far most of her lingerie sets were thongs, practically so they wouldn't show her underwear line in some of her tight office wear clothing, but also because Gidge loved to discover that she was wearing a thong, she always came extra hard when she was wearing one. But she decided it was time to spice things up a bit and try something different, she selected a few different styles and made to the fitting rooms to test them out and see if she liked any of them enough to buy, if not she could always fall back on the good old thong.
After trying each one on, she decided on a French knickers and bra set. She tried it on once more, just to be sure, and nodded in approval at the way the black lace accented her skin tone. After paying for her purchases, she began walking towards Coles, trying to think about what she could make for her love for dinner, when out of the corner of her eye, something caught her attention.
She walked over to a window and began to scan an arrangement of jewellery, with a smile she entered the jewellery store, and after getting the attention of one of the sales people, she asked to see the cuff bracelet from the window display, when the sales person handed it to her, she knew instantly that this was perfect.
"is it for yourself?" The sales person asked warmly, hoping to make a sale, and the look in the customers eyes told her that she was going to be buying this bracelet.
"No it's actually for my girlfriend" Frankie smiled as she examined it closer. There was a line of fresh pearls in the centre, which was bordered by a row on either side of a turquoise gems that was held together by braided tan leather. There was then another row on either side of smaller pearls, which was then held together by a intricate but simple looking braided tan leather. At the part of the cuff where it started and began, was a silver heart, not too big, but just big enough. The turquoise would really bring out the colour in Gidge's eyes, and she knew the woman loved pearls, it was perfect.
"That's lovely" The sales person interrupted the short brunettes thoughts. "is it a special occasion?" She asked genuinely interested. If she didn't show interest, her job would very quickly become boring and painful.
"no not really, I've just been working a lot lately, and wanted to get her something to remind her of how special she is to me" Frankie admitted shyly, wondering why she was divulging so much information to a stranger.
"Well, if you would be interested, for an extra charge, we can engrave the heart, make it that little bit more personal and special" the sales woman announced excitedly, the bracelet was in no way cheap, but she got bonuses if she could upsell on things like extras and insurance.
"you know what, I think I will take this. And yes I would like it engraved, how many characters can it have?" Frankie decided with a nod, she knew she probably shouldn't be splashing out on a piece of jewellery, especially when it wasn't even for a special occasion, but what is more special than being in love, she smirked to herself at the thought... what the hell had Bridget turned her into?
"We should be able to fit up to 20 characters, if I was to use a small font... do you know what you might like to have inscribed?" The woman asked.
"Yeah. Can you just put B.W & F.D. that's it" Frankie asked and smiled when the sales assistant nodded, she paid the bill and was told to come back in an hour to pick it up once they had inscribed it for her.
She left the shop and made her way to Coles, almost brimming with excitement. She practically danced around the aisles, picking up all the items she would need and placing them lovingly in her trolley. Having paid for her groceries, she made her way to the nearest B.W.S. and picked out a few bottles of wine that she knew would compliment the main and desert she was going to make. She grabbed a bottle of Bridget's favourite champagne too, if she was going to all the effort, why not splurge, Frankie thought.
After picking up the bracelet and having it gift wrapped, she made her way home to get started.