Chapter Twelve: Lion or Lyin'
Chris: [narrating] Last time on Total Drama World Tour... Thanks, China! We had a blast. Just not the kind associated with fun, especially for the likes of Loopy de Loop who was sent to great highs via the Great Wall of China. Speaking of which, in a shocking twist of fate, Bridgette and Loopy sacrificed themselves at the elimination ceremony, knowing they were down for the count. Hey, two losers for the price of one is a win in my books. [chuckles] [in the cockpit with Chef] We're down to the final five! Who won't make the final four, and how will I torture these poor saps today? Find out right now on Total...Drama...Encore!
[cue theme song, the episode continues]
[scene shows Minerva relaxing in the first-class section as she lies on one of the golden seats reclined]
Minerva: [sighs contentedly] It feels good to be back where I belong, first-class service for a first-class lady. And the best part is that I get to keep it all for myself.
[static buzzing]
Minerva: Having eaten that disgusting slop from China, I feel like I deserve to be up in the winners' circle. However, a new issue has arisen. Thanks to Bridgette and Loopy blowing me off last night, I'm now caught in the crossfire between the two couples. I know as much as anyone that if any of them wins immunity in the next challenge, they're gonna be after my blood. On the contrary, in the case that I win the challenge, I might as well have a little fun to see which couple I'll give mercy to. There's no way they'd vote against their own, so no doubt they'll be needing my vote to break the tie. The question, which of them do I side with? Guess I'll find that out after a bit of...fun.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the economy class section where Buster, Tramp, Eva, and Ella are seen sitting on opposite sides of each other]
Ella: Even though neither of us won the last challenge, at least I got a reward out of it; being able to spend the night with you.
Eva: [blushes and turns away] Aw, shucks...you know, I was thinking, after the season's over, would you...um, would you…[mutters something incoherent]
Ella: Mmm? What is it you're trying to say?
Eva: [clears her throat] What I'm saying is...would you...like to...go out on a...date with me…? [rubs the back of her head anxiously]
Ella: [gasps joyfully] Oh, Eva, I'd love to! [pulls the weight lifter close to her] We'll be like a royal couple attending a banquet as we stroll down the streets wearing dresses that would sparkle in the night. And you'd put your arms around me and pull me close to you as we…[leans closer to Eva's face]
Eva: ...kiss under the moonlight? [leans closer to Ella's face]
Ella: Yes…
[the two females close the gap by joining their lips with one another]
[static buzzing]
Ella: To think that my first love would be someone like Eva, I can't help but feel butterflies in my stomach. I feel like I'm skipping across a field of flowers as she runs towards me and picks me and twirls me around...ooooh, can you think of anything more romantic?
[static buzzing]
Eva: Even if I don't win the million dollars, I actually ended up getting something out of this s**tshow; coming to terms with who I favor and getting a kickass girlfriend out of it. We're like two sides of a coin, while I'm the brawn, she's the beauty, a sweet, tender, gorgeous…[clears her throat]...man, I'm doing that quite a lot recently. But hear this, just because I've got a girlfriend like Ella doesn't mean I'm gonna go all "fru-fru girly" on myself. I'm still the same rough and tough girl who can punt someone who looks at me or Ella funny into the pavement! Got that?
[static buzzing]
Buster: Ya' know, I was thinkin', seeing as the two of them are gettin' all romantic, how about you gimme some sugar, baby?
Tramp: [blushes] Awww, you. I was just thinking the same thing and well...something else…
Buster: That being?
Tramp: Well...seeing as I'm no longer engaged, I...um, well, I was thinking...well, seeing as I still have the ring, I was-
Buster: Hoping to get the chance to pledge your proposition of marriage to me?
Tramp: YIP! Not so loud...but...in a way…[turn away shyly]...yes…
Buster: Awww, don't be so shy. I'd be more than happy to take you up on your offer. By the way, does this mean Scamp's gettin' another daddy?
Tramp: [blushes profusely at this] W-Well...if you want to look at it that way...you know, this might come as a surprise to you, but...you never really left the little whirlwind's head...even with his relationship with Angel, I could still see him practicing out in the yard, trying to be a tough gangster like you…
Buster: Ah, so it seems I through to him, after all.
Tramp: Hehe, yeah, you did...well, after a while, he and Angel kinda...well, went the same way as me and Lady…
Buster: Man, you guys really had it hard after our little...reunion…
Tramp: Yeah...he misses you…
Buster: The feeling's mutual. I really liked the little squirt, he was so full of energy, reminded me of you back in the old days.
Tramp: Yeah, I guess he really took after his father...boy, if I could just go back in time to when I was acting all pessimistic towards you in front of them, I'd slap myself. I really threw away everything we stood for on that day, me and my convoluted ideas of demonizing you like this evil mastermind because I was too stuck-up in my new lifestyle to care about what you said...in fact, I didn't just throw away those remains, I stomped on them like a jackass and threw them down a sewer…[sighs as a tear drops from his eye]...I was awful…
Buster: [puts his paw on Tramp's] Hey...that's in the past now, init?
Tramp: Well...yeah...but I was so cruel and-
Buster: What matters that you don't have to live in the past anymore. I'm right here by your side, no matter what, just like how you'll be by my side.
Tramp: Yeah...I will...you know, you asked if I'd give you some sugar, sooooo…[pulls the Dobie-Rottie into a kiss]
Buster: Mmmmmmmmm…you've still got them soft, luscious lips~
Tramp: Hehe, oh, stop~ [waves his paw gaily]
Buster: Also, seeing as you're still single...may I be the one to take your hand in marriage?
Tramp: [blushes at this, but grins widely] Why, Buster, I...I-
Intercom: Attention, passengers! We'll be preparing for landing so you might wanna wrap up the sappy romance scene, m'kay? Thanks.
Tramp: As I was saying...yes...I'd be honored…~
[the two canines exchange another kiss as Ella and Eva watch from the other side]
Ella: Awww, that is so romantic!
Eva: Yeah...I suppose it is pretty cute...not as cute as you, though~
Ella: [blushes and giggles] Oh, you~
[static buzzing]
Tramp: To think that the person I'd be remarrying would be the very man that stood by me for all those years, even when I took our relationship for granted...Scamp, if you're watching this, expect to have two father figures now.
[static buzzing]
Buster: You know, a lot of people probably wouldn't expect a tough, dirty gangster like me to feel any sort of emotions except aggression and sadism. To them, I say [with his index finger out] "f**k you, I've got myself a cutie who cares." They can bring me down all they want, I'm not gonna give a s**t as I've got a million dollars to win and a beauty to wed.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the Serengeti plains of Africa as the contestants see Chris approaching in a different attire...and snicker loudly at his appearance]
Buster: I'll say this right now, dresses do not suit you.
Chris: It's traditional Maasai warrior garb, and it came with this. [throws the spear at Buster]
Buster: [dodges] Whoa! Watch it!
Chris: Trust me, that's the least dangerous thing that'll happen to you today. Welcome to beautiful Tanzania, home of the Serengeti plains, and over seventy different kinds of animals that can kill you.
Ella: A large number of which are mercilessly hunted down by poachers for their fur or tusks to be sold off...oh, I feel so bad for these poor creatures. They're only trying to live their life out in the wild peacefully.
Chris: Hey, Discovery Channel? Save the environmentalist talk for later...or whenever I'm not around...either way, don't care. If you'll follow me, we can begin today's challenge.
Eva: [mutters] Asshole…
Minerva: [as innocently as possible] I know, right? Say, I was thinking, I know you probably don't think of me very highly.
Eva: Damn straight.
Minerva: Right...as I was saying, seeing as there's only two guys left in the running, I propose that we form an all-girls alliance and take out the rest of the boys.
Ella: Oh, well, I suppose it couldn't hurt, what do you think, Eva?
Eva: [sighs] I'm giving you one chance. One chance, do you hear me? That is all you're getting, you squander this, I'll see to it that you get kicked out of the plane ASAP, got it?
Minerva: Understood...will do…by the way, I think I heard the guys muttering something about saying that Ella should be the next one to go.
Ella: [gasps] Really?
Minerva: As I said, I thought I heard it, but who knows, but I'd keep a close eye on those boys if I were you.
Eva: Hmmmm...you'd better be right on that, mink.
[static buzzing]
Minerva: I'm not intimidated by Eva, her threats are empty. [stops rubbing her arms when she notices how frequently she's doing it] What, it's chilly in here.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the contestants standing before two large tiki heads on either side of a few pedestals with fruit on them]
Chris: Okay, challenge time! Part one combines two of Africa's most popular sports, soccer, and cricket. I call it "Sock It to Me"! The "me" being you, of course. Each player must run one at a time from the starting line to that pile of African Safu Plums. Grab as many as you can carry, and run back. And you'll be doing all of this while your fellow competitors pummel you with soccer balls.
Buster: [sarcastically] Ooh, pummeled by a soccer ball, how painful! [gets whacked with a soccer ball]-OOF!
Chris: You were saying?
Buster: Do that again, and I'll break your kneecaps.
Chris: [blinks in surprise before recomposing] You were saying? Next, take the plums you've brought back and whack 'em with the cricket bat to smash those gourds open. Like this. [whacks one of the plums and hits Chef in the head]
Chef: OOF! [falls to the ground]
Ella: [winces] Oh my!
Chris: Whoever cracks their gourd open first wins a reward that will be muy helpful in the next challenge. Now, positions, people. Ella, you're up first. Kickers, get ready.
[the four contestants get ready on either side of each other as Ella walks up to the starting line]
Ella: Oh, dear, I'm not so sure about-
Chris: [blows the whistle]
Ella: Oh! [begins to run from the starting line...but crouches in fear about halfway as the soccer balls are kicked at her] EEP!
Chris: [sighs as he rolls his eyes] Man, you suck at sports, Ella.
Ella: [sighs sadly]
[static buzzing]
Ella: I'm not exactly comfortable when it comes to sports. Especially the ones where the ball can damage your face at a high velocity.
[static buzzing]
Chris: Right, after that suck-tacular display from Ella, Eva, you're up!
[Eva gets to the starting line. Chris blows the whistle and she takes off, dodging any of the balls that come her way. Upon scooping up a handful of plums, she rushes back to the starting line without a hitch]
[static buzzing]
Eva: What can I say, I'm the most physically agile girl in school. This ain't nothing I can't handle.
[static buzzing]
[a montage plays of Tramp, Buster, and Minerva running to get the plums and race back to the starting line. The former male is unsuccessful in this endeavor, but the latter two contestants make it through, although the mink only just barely makes it through]
[scene cuts to all the contestants standing before the starting line carrying bats]
Chris: Remember, first person to smash through gets the advantage. And, go!
[Ella tries to whack the plums at the gourds, but her aim is rather poor. Tramp is a little better off, but he still misses. Buster and Eva, on the other hand, make great progress with their gourds, up until Minerva "accidentally" whacks the gourd Eva was about to claim]
Minerva: Oops, my mistake! But hey, I still won.
Chris: And the winner of our first challenge is Minerva!
Minerva: Yes! Batter, batter, swing, batter!
Chris: The rest of you have ten seconds left to crack your gourd. And trust me, you want what's inside.
Eva: [to Minerva] Remember what I told you about chances? You're treading on a very thin line, you hear?
Minerva: Oh, please, it was purely accidental. No need to get all steamed about it.
Eva: [mutters darkly under her breath]
[the four remaining contestants try to crack their gourdes open. Out of them, Ella is the only one who is unsuccessful due to her poor aim]
Chris: I reiterate, Ella, you absolutely suck doo-doo at sports.
Ella: [winces and looks down at the ground]
Chris: No success for Ella will make it much harder for her to deal... with this!
[a lion in its cage is revealed as the contestants gasp from the roar it makes at them]
Ella: He must feel congested in that small cage! No wonder he looks upset.
Minerva: Or he could just be hungry and wants to snack on a body, aka ours.
Chris: Whoever nabs the king of the jungle wins invincibility and first-class seats to our next destination.
Tramp: You know, I've never gotten why they refer to lions as kings of the jungle. Wouldn't the pridelands make more sen-
Chris: Environmentalist chatter, blah, blah, blah, time to see your rewards. Go to your gourds and check inside. They contain what you'll use to hunt with.
Buster: [with a slingshot in his hand] Oh yes! Do you know how many windows I've broken with one of these?
Minerva: [sarcastically] What's the pocket for? Magic beans?
Chris: Close. Tranquilizer balls. Fling 'em with enough velocity and they burst on contact, numbing the area and releasing a hearty dose of sleepy time goodness. Watch as this intern demonstrates. [fires a tranq ball at the closest intern, causing him to be knocked unconscious] See? It's like paintball, only with naps. Now, stand back, people. We're gonna give the lion a head start. Chef, release the beast!
[Chef hesitantly unlocks the cage as the lion bursts out and runs off into the plains]
Eva: Okay, but there are tons of lions that look just like him. Who are we supposed to know which one to catch?
Chris: This lion has a blue collar tucked underneath his mane. That's how you'll identify him. No collar means that it's not the right lion. Since Minerva won the first challenge, she gets six tranq balls. Buster and Eva get four, Tramp gets two, and Ella gets one.
Ella: No slingshot?
Chris: Nope. You're just gonna have to throw the ball hard enough to make it burst. Which will be hilariously unsuccessful, I'm sure. And…[Chef blows the horn]...go!
[the contestants race off into the plains]
Chris: Who will make it out alive and who's gonna eat up becoming the lion's lunch? Find out when we return on Total...Drama...Encore!
[scene cuts to black, the episode continues]
[scene shows Tramp and Buster walking on their lonesome until they pass underneath a tree. Just then, something drops down from the tree and hits Buster in the head, knocking him down to the ground]
Tramp: [gasps] Buster!
Minerva: [off-screen] Help!
Tramp: What? Huh?
Minerva: [off-screen] Up here!
Tramp: [looks up to see Minerva up in the tree] Minerva? What are you doing up there?
Minerva: Oh, it was horrible! This big, ferocious rhinoceros came out it nowhere and started chasing me! I ran and climbed to the top of this tree for safety until it went away, but now...I'm too scared to get down! Please, could you help me?
Tramp: Um, well, I suppose I could, but-
Minerva: Oh, please, I'll do anything you want. Align with you and Buster because Eva and Ella want to vote against you? Done!
Tramp: Wait, they're planning to vote against me?
Minerva: While you and Buster were in front of us, Eva said that she thinks if any one of the guys needs to go, it should be you. I just couldn't leave you in the dark about that.
Tramp: [uncertainly] Well...I guess...I should help you for telling me this...here, I catch you.
Minerva: [hops off the branch and into Tramp's arms] Oh, thank you. You're a true hero and...well I…[turns away "shyly"]
[Ding, Ding!]
Minerva: I'm bashful, coy, I'm timid...
I can't help acting shy, I'm diffident, self-conscious.
No matter how I try, I'm so demure, I'm skittish.
I just can't tell you why...
BUT then I just remembered that the two of us
Can make sweet, sweet love!
Show me sugar, my baby dear
There's no one else but us here!
So let me caress your face, my sweet little dove.
Give me some sugar, baby!
You know you can't resist me!
Watch out! Because soon push will come to shove!
Come on, Trampy, don't be shy
It doesn't hurt to give it a try
And one thing's sure, I always get the guy!
Huddle close, and hold me tight
Those kisses will be out of sight!
It's the best feeling of all, so come on, baby!
Yeah!
I really dig ya', hun,
So let's stop and have some fun!
I really dig ya', hun
And I know you dig meeeeeeeeeee!
[with a swift pull from his back, Minerva pulls Tramp downward and meshes their lips together, the Schnauzer's eyes open wide with shock, especially as Buster gets up]
Buster: [groans] My head…[looks to his right and gasps to see Tramp on top of Minerva]
Minerva: Oh, Tramp, you dirty boy~
Tramp: Buster! I assure you this isn't what you-
Buster: [grabs hold of Minerva] Get off him, you harlot!
Minerva: Ow, hey! Watch the dress!
Buster: Cut the crap, mink! I know your games!
Minerva: Oh, really? Well, then I suppose you can find another way to save yourselves from elimination because right now, the other girls are gunning for Tramp!
Buster: What?! You better not be fibbing here, you dirty-
Tramp: Buster, please, don't murder her!
Minerva: Yeah, you wouldn't hurt a lady, now would you?
Buster: I dunno, would I? [punches his palm with his fist]
Minerva: [winces and steps back] Um..yeah...I'm just gonna go...over here now...see ya'! [runs off from the two canines]
Buster: [turns back to Tramp] Are you alright?
Tramp: Y-Yeah, I'm fine...but, as I said, that little thing you saw between me and Minerva, that was purely an accident.
Buster: I know it wasn't your fault.
Tramp: Wait, really?
Buster: I've seen enough of that skank's tricks to know that she was trying to pull a fast one on ya'.
Tramp: Oh...well...thanks…
Buster: Now, how about I cleanse them pretty lips of yours with a little sugar? [pulls Tramp into a kiss which the Schnauzer reacts in a more positive manner as he kisses back]
[scene cuts to Eva and Ella hiding in the tall grass]
Eva: [whispering] Okay, I think that's our lion. I saw something blue sticking out from under his mane.
Ella: You sure Mr. Lion will be okay after all this?
Eva: Well, so long as it doesn't kill us, we should-[notices the uncomfortable look on Ella's face]-um, what I mean is that...yes, he'll be fine, I can promise you that.
Ella: Well...I suppose…
[at that moment, two tranq balls are fired from above the two human girls]
Eva: What the?!
[in a poof, the lion is knocked unconscious as it limps down to the ground]
Ella: Where did that come from?
Minerva: Hey, girls. Miss me?
Chris: Whoa! Congrats, Minerva! You're on your way to first-class!
Minerva: Hmph, was there ever any doubt?
Chris: As for the rest of you, you're all ripe for elimination. So, it's time to jet out of Africa and see which unlucky chump is getting the boot tonight. [chuckles as Eva and Ella exchange an apprehensive glance at each other]
[static buzzing]
Minerva: While winning immunity is great and all, I've now got to decide on which couple to side with. And I believe I've found my pick.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to black, at the Elimination Ceremony]
Chris: Mmmmm, tension-y. Seeing as Minerva's immune, it's time for one of the couples to be broken up.
[static buzzing]
Ella: [stamps one of the passports]
[static buzzing]
Eva: [stamps one of the passports]
[static buzzing]
Tramp: [stamps one of the passports]
[static buzzing]
Buster: [stamps one of the passports]
[static buzzing]
Minerva: [stamps one of the passports]
[static buzzing]
Chris: Alright, the following players are safe; Minerva [catches the bag]...Eva [catches the bag]...and Buster [catches the bag]. And then there were two. Tramp, Ella. One of you is going home. Without further ado, the final bag goes to…
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Neither of you!
Ella and Tramp: What?!
Chris: Yep, seeing as Tramp didn't sing during Minerva's musical number and seeing as Ella got most of the votes, I'm decreeing that you're both getting eliminated!
Eva: Wait, how did Ella get most of the votes?! [turns to Minerva and gives her a murderous scowl] You...you...YOU!
Minerva: [looks away] Oh, s**t.
Eva: You better gimme one good reason as to why I shouldn't throw you out of the plane!
Buster: May I join? [punches his palm with his fist]
Chris: Before you do any of that, time to see your loved ones off as they take the Drop of Shame!
[Tramp and Ella are handed parachutes and solemnly walk to the door before the drop]
Ella: Well, good luck, Eva. I shall be cheering you on as if you were a brave knight going into battle.
Eva: I'll do this for you! [tries hard not to sniffle]
Tramp: Win for us, won't you, Buster?
Buster: [with a sad smile] Yeah...you betcha.
Chris: Now that we got that out of the way…[pushes Ella and Tramp out of the plane]
Ella and Tramp: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
[static buzzing]
Minerva: Okay, so now I have two wildebeasts out for my blood. But it's their loss for being a bunch of babies. I've got the moxy and they don't, so who's the real loser here? Obviously not me.
[static buzzing]
Chris: Things are getting crazy! Twelve down and only three remain. Who will almost die next? Find out right here on Total...Drama...Encore!
[scene cuts to black as the episode ends]