Hi, it's been a little while, but I guess you know the reason for that. The past month and a half has been tough and that's putting it mildly. I'm trying my best not to be sad all the time. Tonight, I was returning from grocery shopping and everywhere I looked, there was either people laughing or there was music playing at the many bars around. I suddenly remembered my mum and started to cry. She loved a lively atmosphere...I really miss her...I miss her voice, her laughter...her presence, I even miss her nagging. Her funeral was massive, she was very friendly and well-known in our community. I've never felt so much love...everyone, even some of you whom I've never met, but read my stories, have either extended your sympathy or shared wonderful words of comfort. I took every one of them to heart and I would like to say...thank you...from the bottom of my heart. I've been reading and sometimes reviewing some of my favourite stories, as a means of distraction, but I've also been writing. I've made several attempts at updating, but lost my will. This time however, I'm determined to get back out there and I've succeeded in writing some of the chapters for my un-finished stories and two chapters for a new one. Time is a great healer and along with God's help, things will get better. Thank you once again and thank you for keeping an interest in my stories.

Here goes...

Anger rolled off Gwen in waves.

She wanted to rip into Lance, to make him pay.

How dare him to act so careless with their kids and to top it all off, he seemed to be having an affair.

She had always thought herself to be a kind, gentle person who wouldn't hurt a fly, but in this very moment, she felt capable of murder. She wanted to strangle him with her bare hands.

She went to their room and a horde of emotions began to war within her.

Anger, hurt, sadness, it was all there and they all led to one word, betrayal and it echoed loudly in her thoughts. She felt he had betrayed her, their supposedly happy relationship and most importantly, their kids, by looking break up the only family life they knew.

She paced the length and breadth of the room, putting on her armour, her hard exterior, as she waited for him to show up. Finally, she heard his heavy footfalls on the carpeted floor and steeled herself in anticipation.

Lance felt like a doomed sailor who was told to walk the plank.

He knew he was careless.

He knew Gwen was angry, livid even and she had every right to be. He also knew there was no escaping the hell she would rain on him.

'How could I have been so stupid? My kids…they mean the world to me…I almost caused a great tragedy.

This is all 'her' fault. No…it's mine. I can't blame 'her'…It's mine. If only I'd never gotten myself involved with 'her'…I told 'her' not to call me…Damn it Eileen! I've ruined everything,' he thought internally.

He reluctantly made his way to his and Gwen's room, bracing himself to face her and be done with it.

Inside, Gwen waited like a caged animal, tense, but still on the alert and ready to pounce, as Lance cautiously entered the room.

His first mistake was when he opened his mouth at an attempt to apologize and accept responsibility.

"Look…Gwen," he paused and watched as she froze her pacing to stare at him with a cold, blank expression.

"I know you are angry and you've every right to be. If it makes you feel any better…I'm sorry…I don't have an excuse for my actions, but the kids are fine. They weren't seriously hurt…"

He was cut off by her cold, deadly tone.

"Yes the kids are fine, thank God for that! I'm extremely grateful, more than you will ever know.

You've said that you didn't have an excuse, but I beg to differ. How about this one? That phone call must've been extremely important for you to act so nonsensical and irresponsible where our kids are concerned. Tell me Lance," she paused, her voice rising ever so slightly. She continued.

"Who was she?

Who was it that made you take temporary leave of your senses and leave our kids unattended and in danger of your hazardous habits? Who was it that had you confessing your preference to be with her? Who was she that you are so wrapped up with, that you forgot everything we had and everything you promised me? Enlighten me, please tell me, who was this woman you willingly gave yourself to, whilst I have been giving myself to you and you alone? Who is she Lance? Answer me!"

Lance literally flinched as Gwen angrily delivered the last sentence.

His eyes widened to the size of saucers when he realized she was onto him.

He couldn't deny anything. One careless act had caused him to be in this situation and there was no getting out of it. He noted her frigid eyes as they bore into him, causing him to open and close his mouth like a fish, not knowing where to start.

This is the first time that Lance ever had caused to fear for his life.

His eyes bugged out of his head at the fury contained within her small frame. He watched as the coldness in her eyes deepened and turned harsh.

He opened his mouth once again, not knowing what to say to her. After a while, he hung his head dejectedly and said,

"You overheard…you must have."

He paused, looking at her once again, seeing her standing regal like a queen about to dispense judgement instead of showing compassion and he blurted,

"What do you want me to say? I'm young. I shouldn't have to be tied down like some…married old man. For God sake I'm only nineteen and I feel as though I'm missing out…guys my age are out partying, drinking and having fun, they are not tied to one girl…and two kids.

Everyone thought that I was mental, coming home early…helping to take care of kids…I'm a kid. I might not have my parents around any more…but I still have a life.

I used to hate my father for leaving my mother to take care of me all by herself, but I understand what it's like to make sacrifices…I did so with my youth when I chose to stick by you. I need to go out, enjoy myself and not be judged or weighted down with baggage."

A fire of enormous proportions lit within Gwen.

She marched right up to him and slapped him hard across his cheek. She rounded on him, nostrils flaring and eyes blazing. She pointed her stinging fingers in his face and growled,

"You selfish bastard. Not once in all of this did I force you into anything. You made promises. You said you would stick by me.

Those kids may not have been planned, but they are here. They are not responsible for themselves and they certainly didn't ask to be born. You speak about you being young, well I have news for you, I'm young too.

Drinking is what got me into this, but you know what, I wouldn't change anything for the world. I can never imagine my life without my kids. I will never regret them, but I regret having anything to do with you.

How dare you speak about sacrifices. My virginity was sacrificed, and my youth…it means nothing to me without my two kids.

I haven't been out for a drink or anything for the longest time…and besides you, I have only one friend…never once did you hear me complain.

No one's judging you, except for your new so-called friends, who want you to be just like them, but enough Lance, this is the part where you make your choice. I'm not going to pretend everything is okay and we're this happy family, so tell me, right now and right here. Is it going to be me and the kids, or your new…whatever and your freedom, what will it be?"

Lance stood with his eyes locked on Gwen's, not trusting himself to look away.

The slap stunned him and left him with a painful cheek.

He couldn't believe it. He'd never seen her so angry. He listened to her as she berated him and spoke what was in her heart. He allowed her words to sink in as he pondered her question.

'Could I really leave her…leave my children? My dad did it and my mother eventually did it…but I swore I'd stick by her and I've been doing that so far… it's just so hard sometimes. I just need a bit of space to sort this all out…yeah that's it, I need space,' he argued with himself.

"I don't know what you expect to hear. I love my kids…I still love…you. I just need space to figure out what I truly want.

I never meant for this to happen, I didn't go looking to get involve with someone…it just…happened. I knew I was wrong to let it happen and continue, but after a while, I stopped feeling guilty and just took things one day at a time.

I don't expect you to forgive me so easily, but for what it's worth…I'm sorry. I'll gather some of my things together and go, I just need to say goodbye to the twins," he said. At that, he took a bag from on top of the closet and began to place items into it.

Gwen stood rooted to the spot allowing Lance's words to penetrate her tough exterior.

She watched as he quietly moved about the room putting stuff in his bag, and after a while the sound of the zipper closing echoed loudly in her ears.

Her eyes followed him as he walked towards her with the packed bag and said,

"I'll just say bye to the kids and go. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone for, but I would like to come by and see the twins, if that's okay with you…plus, I still have stuff here." He paused for a beat and continued with a nervous smile,

"I'm so sorry Gwen. You'll always hold a special place in my heart."

He kissed her forehead softly and exited the room heading in the direction of his two small kids to say his goodbyes.

Gwen watched as her hopes and dreams of a stable relationship and a happy family life walked away and feeling the fight go out of her, she crumbled to the ground and sobbed her heart out.

After a couple of hours, she called her only friend, Merlin and with the first word he rushed over to her and stayed with her and the kids for the rest of the night.

Five years later…

Gwen was lying in bed on a lazy Saturday morning in February.

It was the first of two days off and the first she took since the Christmas party she attended weeks ago.

That night was magical. She started reminiscing about that entire day and night, starting from the time she had arrived at her friend of five months now, Morganna Pendragon's mansion with her five year old kids in tow, to how it ended and with whom it had ended...Arthur.

Merlin, her best friend in the entire world was there also. He had left two years previously, to start up a new job at Pendragon Industries, where he met Morganna and after a few months they began dating exclusively.

He kept in contact, mostly by phone, sometimes by Skype, and though it pained her not having him around, she was happy for him.

She couldn't afford to visit him, because it would mean taking a day off to do so, and he was always very busy. That she could understand, as she too was very busy and used work as a way of coping after everything came tumbling down with Lance.

Sighing as a bout of sadness crept into her heart, her thoughts drifted to Lance and tears pooled in her eyes.

Back then, shortly after he had moved out, he would come by often to spend time with the kids.

He never acted as though he missed her and wanted to return home. She found that out when she noticed the bulk of his stuff which he had left, was beginning to diminish. He never brought anything back with him and she concluded in her mind, that they were officially over.

Months later on a routine visit with the kids, he waited until they were asleep and quietly told her he was moving away to a new country.

Apparently, his mother, who had been residing in the USA, was very ill at the moment and she needed him.

"Can I take a few of the pictures we took of the twins?" he'd asked, looking in the direction of the fireplace, where tons of photos, some in frames and some without, covered the mantle there. Smiling sadly, Gwen softly replied,

"Course you can. I'm sure your mum would like to see them once she gets better. Take as many as you need."

He was floored by her kindness.

It didn't come as a complete surprise to him, because it was one of her many traits.

He was just bowled over by seeing her so accepting of everything that had happened. He knew she was strong and resilient, but he never expected her to act as though she had completely forgiven and forgotten and moved on.

He calmly walked over to the photos, scanning them carefully and selected the ones he wanted. After that, he embraced her tenderly and whispered goodbye to her.

That was the very last time she and the kids saw or heard anything from him.

As she came out of her thoughts, she listened as her kids happily bounded over to her room.

"Good morning mum," they said in unison. Smiling, she said,

"Good morning you two. Did you sleep well?" As usual, they answered together.

"Yes mum."

Gwen sat up, shuffling her bed linen as they each sat on either side of her.

She threw her arms around them and kissed each curly head in turn, just before she asked.

"Do you know what we're doing this weekend?" She watched as they both shook their heads no and she continued.

"Well, auntie Morganna and uncle Merlin has asked us over for the next two days. We'll be going on a picnic and doing some other wonderful stuff. How does that sound?" she finished. Once again in unison, they gasped and said,

"Yeah!" With that, they started scrambling off the bed to go and get their things together. Gwen, sensing their obvious excitement, called to them,

"Hang on guys. After you've both had your breakfast, we'll get our things together, okay? I'll meet you in the kitchen in a few minutes." At that, they recited,

"Okay mum," and exited the room, whispering excitedly to each other. Gwen on the other hand, got up, stretched herself and headed to the bathroom.

An hour later, they were all packed and just as Gwen turned to her two excited kids to take their bags, she heard a car horn beeped on the outside.

"Let's go you two. Our ride is here," she said, as she thought about her generous friend.

If there was one thing she was sure of, she knew that Morganna would always send a car for her and the kids. She would never ask them over without guaranteeing their safe transport to her home.

They greeted the driver cheerfully and after he had loaded their bags in the trunk, he helped them into the car and quietly pulled into the morning traffic.

On the way, Gwen tuned out her children's happy chatter and allowed her thoughts to drift to the very handsome, Arthur Pendragon.

Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she recalled one of the best nights of her life.

She remembers the sound of his voice as he spoke her name. It took her by surprise then, at how beautiful her name sounded on his lips.

She recalls the way they had chatted so comfortably with each other as he took her on a stroll around the area where he worked. She thought back to how easily it was for her to open up to him about her personal life and how well he listened without casting judgement about anything she'd said.

It warmed her heart then as it did now, when she thought of how impressed he was at the way she had handled her life thus far. He saw her struggles as challenges he could never overcome and lauded her drive and determination to make a happy life for her kids.

She blushed, running her finger over her lush lips, as she got lost in her thoughts about his passionate kisses that night. She had felt something stirred in her then, something she hadn't felt in years and she secretly hoped that she would get the chance to explore exactly what she was feeling...again...with him.

Alas, she knew time was not always on her side, neither was it on Arthur's. They both were busy people leading busy lives. He was running his company and she was working and taking care of her kids.

They both had to break many dates because their schedules wouldn't allow them the time and after a while, they just stopped planning anything.

Every once in a while, they would call each other or send the odd E-mail, just to see how things were on their respective ends, but they both longed to see each other.

She was brought out of her thoughts when the chauffeur declared,

"We're here!"

He brought the car to a stop and as usual, he exited and helped her and the kids from the car.

Just as she turned to thank him, Morganna appeared out front with a huge smile on her beautiful face and her arms outstretched.

Wordlessly the driver collected the bags and carried them into the house, whilst his mistress embraced her best friend and the kids excitedly.

This chapter took on a life of its own. I hope you understood it and as usual, I hope it was good enough.