Lumped in with smartphones, social media and streaming sites over the years, Mayfield never forgot the bills locking him out of his Golden Age of technology. Greedy eyes and greasy hands, drooling for the absurd idea of that paperback-size computer.
If his Captain ever knew what became of those, he'd never hear the end of it… Such hope and wealth wasted away, on aggressive 'wargames', fake casinos, luck-based puzzles, and birds both angry & flappy.
Today, it sat as an ancient relic that left her pressing buttons and curious to its operation. Gave a yell of "Hey!" as a sudden static charge ripped it from her hands, dropping onto Mayfield's toe before it scanned the place.
"Ow, mother-fu—"
"This is 'The Admiral'. I demand an entire staff meeting, comply or face consequences!"
Mayfield couldn't even open his mouth, before Leela got on the defensive.
"Absolutely NOT, Thomas. I'm not inviting that 'thing' to destroy us in one swoop!"
"Leela, he was already here facing the entire crew, and left us alone. What does that tell you?"
"That we were lucky that day, that we'd be stupid to take another chance on him?"
"That 'thing' IS Fry! I don't know what'll convince you, but true as I lay here, I'll give whatever I can."
"Whatever you're offering, it needs to be a hell of a lot more. Who's to say he's the same guy under that onyx skin and jumpsuit? You're the only man I know to escape his wrath; he can go right to Hell now!"
"All our combined efforts, and you're gonna break our hearts like that?" He looked to himself and to ceiling, before shrugging with his lips.
"You know what, I'll mean what I've said before. My money & life, that 'The Admiral' was a former Captain. Now how far would you go, to see him alive?"
A gamble to convince Leela, but not without a warning as she placed the call.
"If you're wrong, then so help me I'll finish what Zookeeper started, got it?"
"Hey, not like I can do anything."
It'd be about an hour of leaps through windows and entries through doors, before everyone had gathered together in Mayfield's private room. For the multiple times Leela tried to re-initiate the scan, the moments grew tense. Leela stood just inches from Mayfield's face, when the device scanned by itself this time, a great deal more cooperative.
"Scan complete, passcode please?"
A threat almost completed between the harsh discussions, before Mayfield spoke the first number in mind.
"1077, 1-0-7-7."
"Thank you, video streaming live now."
"Now how'd you…" Leela began.
"The safe, the adventures you shared, his soldier number… Had to be a pattern."
Before long, there'd be a ten-by-ten projection of sorts, 'Admiral' appearing within. A scream to stumble them into walls, a silence to have them hold each other, and then the young heartened laugh to raise their hairs.
"Live long and prosper Planet Express!"
A flash of a Vulcan-style salute, one to leave crew and colleague short of breath. Her hands shaking, Leela stood to move the device on the floor, watching as Captain Yesterday jigged about for seeing her.
Could've reminded Mayfield, his relief clear on his face, of those adventures on Wormulon.
Getting that 'tour', knowing the forbidden secret ingredient, their capture at the hands of the Slurm Queen… Leela and Bender in great peril, relying on one consumed by his consumption of 'Super-Slurm'.
An addiction to have him screech, turn him back and dunk his entire head, seemingly leaving them to die. A fact they'd condemn him and he'd soon realise, before he dragged that tub. Stuffing his face, until he flipped Leela's switch. The rest, of course, was history.
Going now by the schoolkid giggling and 'ability' to interact, he now had a much better drug.
"First, for being gone so long and for causing all this trouble, I'm deeply sorry. Hearing all of Archbury's stories before Tom's, I didn't know how to carry on & fight. But to prove that you're all alive, it's a happiness I can't describe."
Centred to see them all, he motioned a fist to his heart. Their surprise stopped them short of response, as Fry moved towards his closest—his only—living relative. A first of many 'face-to-faces' he'd been hoping to have.
"How goes things, you senile amoral crackpot? I dared not dive into that sick mind since last year, but for the fears I once heard about, it gladdens me to see you still alive and active. I've you and Planet Express to thank for everything; my job, my dreams, my adventures and my friends… Love ya, kid."
Even for joking about technical ages, Farnsworth could only gabble "I'm sorry, wha?" as Hermes patted his shoulder.
"Tally me banana Hermes, you Rastafarian accountant! I'm sure you'd have loved to burn my timecard, but even as this would-be zombie, it comes as great relief that you weren't given your marching orders. I'd have missed your warmth, your talents and your friendliness, to say nothing of your rhymes and limbo moves. To put a stamp or five on it, you're the true Grade 36 we love, and I'm proud to call you a friend."
"Sweet Admiral of Cape Canaveral! One-Point-Zero once called me technically correct... Never thought I'd get a better compliment." A straightened jacket, and rather wide smile.
"Zoidberg, you weird smelly monster! I should've known you'd never go down with butter and lemon, you'd just come back up after. Being cooped up had me realise something… For all the times you've chopped my limbs and gave dumb opinions, you've always been so upbeat & generous, even for having nothing. You're an inspiration, Doc; I'd sooner take your dozen surgeries to Archbury's one."
"Hooray, you still remember me!" he jigged in reply. "And as a friend too… I could cry with joy."
He did so on Hermes' shoulder, who far from the expected rebuke, had actually embraced him. First time in a year he'd shown such affection; Mayfield in particular almost lost his jaw.
"Amy, you spoiled klutz from Mars! Should've known you'd never bankrupt us, 'less you'd go back to your parents. For all our weird affairs and serious looks, it's been your golden heart, beautiful spark and badass nerve that makes you a pure diamond, that keeps me calling you a close friend. One day we'll talk about stuff—and junk—under a wonderful sunset, and you have my word on that. For now, take care of yourself, and please wish Kif my best too."
Her cheeks forming a sunset of sorts herself, she could only whisper a "Thank-you" as she hugged and cried over her captain. Some tender pats and return hugs, before Leela shuffled forward, her first words to him in over a year.
"Fry? I-I-Is my eye playing trick on me?"
"Abracadabra, baby. You talk of true magic, it's the fact you're alive. Was always led to believe that you'd been drifted out to space. Listen to me, right now… Last year was never your fault. No-one would've known it to be a lure, a set-up, a complete lie. It's just what you do, as our one-eyed Wonder Woman."
Even Blind Kirk could've noticed how loosened Leela got, her heavy cape soon unravelling.
"Before you go to sleep tonight, allow me to reach out and share my dreams…"
Both Captains took steps, hers more hesitant than his, to 'grip' each other's hand. But far from unpleasant zaps, she felt what she sometimes called 'St. Fry's Fire', a warm crackling surge through her body.
"When do you think you'll come back?"
"I haven't an idea, but just picture me caressing that eyeball, embracing and locking lips, until then. Please do that, for both of us."
For only the electric glow to separate them both, Leela was going to milk that interaction bone-dry.
"Tom told me the stories of your pain, of his hurts in trying to help. But Goddammit, I've never been more proud of you! You've never quit on us, yourself or the new crew, and THAT'S why I've respected you as Captain, and loved you as a person."
"You sure you shouldn't be spewing crumbs for such thoughts, Fry?" Her attempt at humour and stiffing up; instant failure for her crinkled eye and heart-crossed palm.
"Wish I could enjoy such dates again… Just know this; I'm still here, I still love you, and always & forever, you'll be in my heart. At first I wasn't sure how to express it, but when Tom lent me his Symphod, I got the perfect headache with pictures. Symphod, play us what I call 'The Captains' Song,' please."
Leela hadn't a clue what Fry meant, until she heard the kick drums, bass guitar strums and synthesisers. At that moment, her eye shut and hands met her mouth. A once horrid choice, now made perfect.
"So Leels… How 'bout a dance?" as he offered a gloved hand.
A slow one to savour as he 'sang' of crystal raindrops, of seeing rainbows from her, and of wanting to be with her. Voice of a soulful angel, as Leela's head met his 'shoulder'. All seemed like a dream, except she wasn't sleeping.
Perhaps the ultimate words though, that she never lasted long enough to listen to… To make it if they tried, reinforced again, and then once more to drive the point home.
Once the dance ended, Leela felt her knees knock; had to get help sitting down.
"Hope my gifts will be enough; until next time, stay strong Leels. We'll be back together, no matter who I have to go through."
He then centred himself again, and addressed the rest of his colleagues.
"If you come across Bender in your travels, tell him that we are NOT friends, that I hate him. Now, I suspect that Archbury will want me, so I gotta go. Live long and prosper friends, and may the good Captain return once again."
The livestream had ended with his salute, leaving everybody in virtual silence. Especially for Leela; for one to do the punching, this was the first time she felt flattened. Her eye started to water, the sniffles began to announce themselves.
This reassurance, this relief, this absolute miracle… After friends in the deep, confessions in New Jersey or surprise creams for use, it was this latest revelation that had her pouring tears.
Euphoric ones before she wrapped arms around her colleagues, before she started towards her charge.
"Oh no, please don't, please don't, please don't, please… YEEEOOOOWWW!"
The biggest hug for the biggest casualty, and though he blew a wild storm of curses, he knew the message was clear. Personal redemption, though not quite his, had taken a gigantic step forward.
Now came the time to tell them whatever he knew; just as well they brought the 'Memoray' for such an occasion. It had proven crucial to the Professor's work for a reason, and fresh off such discoveries about Archbury, 'The Admiral' and anticipated schemes, Mayfield would need any help he could get.
"So guys, straight to it. Zookeeper knows about our creams, and I daresay we're in for a personal invasion. Don't know how or when, but we'll need round-the-clock defences, maybe a further spread where possible."
"What makes yuh say 'dat?" Hermes questioned.
"Should come as no surprise, but he did rip two stashes from my lips; HQ's and my own. While I believe they're the smallest, he could learn of our secrets and, for fear of a return, ruin us for good. In that sense, even for Admiral's potential 'change', we had best protect ourselves."
"I s'pose we've got some advantage, in 'dat sense."
"I hope so, Hermes. First things first, we need a criminal to fight a criminal; no better than Bender that I've heard. 'Admiral' clued me in that he might've returned to his adopted homeworld, one to take him back by default… Anyone got ideas?"
"Could only be Chapek-9, the Robot Planet." Farnsworth piped up. "We're allies via DOOP, but tenuous at best. Was tempted to send you there instead of the Sun; hopeless humans get shot and killed on sight… And that assumes generous programming."
"Gee, thanks Prof. Well, I'm open to offers. Who fancies a ride to get holes left in 'em?"
Though Leela had taken some time to compose herself, her face emptying the tissue box, she was soon together and at attention.
"Wait just a minute, none of us will have to! Build-A-Bot on West 34th; I remember Fry and I once craving an intergalactic vacation. Professor never paid us time off, so instead of anger or mutiny, we opted for deceit. Created similar shells of ourselves, used some tapes to upload our personalities, and just inserted them in. Best two weeks ever…"
"What?!" the Professor caught on.
"God-damn… That's why you're Captain, darl. And perhaps, because of everyone's efforts, we could afford an army of sorts to confuse or defend against him. Lord knows such extra time could be useful. Who could we find that'd know about such circuitry & robotics, though?"
"I'm your mon, mon." Hermes quipped. "Especially given Bender & I's, shall we say, close history."
"I thought bureaucrats WEREN'T s'posed to be full of surprises. Thing is, and final decision's yours, I'd rather you remain at HQ."
"Think I can't handle myself out 'dere, boy? I'm not 'de one in 'de cast."
"To flip that on its head, I can say I've survived The Zookeeper, and you haven't yet. I imagine at worst that we'd have to reprogram Bender, and that means getting up close. You're more than welcome to give suggestions, but for joining that crusade? Not a snowball's hope in Hell."
"I've seen my share of battles. Didn't Leela enlighten you about any of 'dem?"
"I'd be foolish to dismiss such feats, whatever they'd be. But remember, including the copies, it'll be us few versus thousands of well-armed, human-hating robots. Comparing bureaucrats, pilots and delivery boys, there's less of you and more of us. That's why I'd rather you stay safe."
Leela, her conclusions the same & worse, couldn't cloud the fear in her eye.
"Hermes, you've never been to Chapek-9 before. For surviving against their daily Human Hunt, the Anti-Human Patrol, the constant traps and their biased justice system, I'd sooner stay away than go back again."
Mayfield had a sudden thought: "Leela, 'scuse me for bringing him up, but why DID Zapp start sending you all those gifts?"
"Tell the truth, I don't know. Think he's been sore since I declared you my 'fiancé', and he's since tried to prove that he loves me more than you do."
Amy could've read his mind: "Yeah, and crazy as this might sound, what better way to prove himself the hero than to 'rescue' his love? We've known him sober or drunk, but never as brave or smart."
Leela considered it to herself: "Come to think of it, he did seem so insistent on me taking one… Enough about Zapp, Thomas, do you mind if I axe you something?"
"Shoot. Not like I can block my ears."
"Why bring such a wildcard back, when we've done so well already? He made for a worlds-better criminal than crew, in fact, he left us in our whole mess to begin with."
"I get how he mightn't be too redeemable now, but perhaps he's been looking for reasons to try. You telling me he doesn't deserve even that chance, the same chance you gave his 'human' version?"
"Human nothing, kid. That selfish bastard could've killed us dozens of times in his pursuits, if not annoy us for making us do all the work. I forgave you because of what you helped us achieve, even before now. Since the start, we've counted on Bender to choose his shiny ass over ours."
"Ahhh, I guess I understand now."
Zoidberg, once a veteran, soon clacked a claw: "But he's had his moments, hasn't he?"
"I, um… Sure I guess, Zoidberg. He did dive over a bomb when he got drafted, adopted those kids, and even stood to a 400-ton robot. You know, just to even the odds, maybe I'll turn a blind eye for now."
Mayfield nodded his head: "Sweet, so let's go over this one more time…"
They rattled off the details and plans for an age; the gist of which was to infiltrate Chapek-9, locate and reprogram Bender, and escape him off the planet. All while not arousing suspicion and praying that Zapp, the Captain Blunderpants in their equation, wouldn't happen along. Zoidberg chose to opt out again; still concerned for his medical books on humans.
"Perfect, anything else?"
Hermes raised himself out of the huddle: "Yeah, count me out too. I could always fix Bender up back at HQ. As for you 'dough, how long do you 'tink it'll take yuh to come back?"
"Sorry Hermes, but the way it stands now, my wild guess would be a year or two if ever at all. Have a feeling I've run out of miracles this time."
"Correction Thomas…"
To widen his eyes, his Captain's palmed fingers, half-shut eye and mischievous smirk.
"I might know of one more."
"Um, Leela? Should I be worried?"
"Oh no, no, not at all! Just thinking that the ship could use a scrub-down and check-up, that we could grab a couple things along the way… Think it's time I taught you the lesson that you taught me."
"Oh shhhhhh…"
Mayfield could only dread what she had in mind, before she unlocked the door and let the real nurse huff in, rather peeved for being locked out.
A small peck on the cheek, a promise of friends, and a farewell as one by one, each of his colleagues moved out, a short elevator ride to go out the front and towards the tube back to HQ.
For Mayfield, he knew there wasn't much he could do besides get fed some meals and stare at the drying paint or little television.
"My sentence begins… First day of hundreds… Heaven help me."