As The Mayor's guards took a cautious wheeling towards the desk, Bender had smacked a secret button underneath to reveal a covering of Army-standard, crank-charged laser pistols. As he saw it then, they had lacklustre arms and a treacherous crew, against an army that had troubled or outright annihilated DOOP's forces before.
Left his cast-iron guts already concreting, as Leela investigated and handed the weapons to Amy and Mayfield. Two of her own from her well-tucked outfit, so she could leave Zapp's behind. Forever and always, had her world been ideal.
"Alright, remember this… Crank and charge all the way, kill 'em in one. Crank it frequently, keep returning fire. Whatever's necessary, got it?"
"Got it, Captain!"
No time for any repeats; the moment those words left their lips was when the barrage of lasers sailed over their heads. Soon the smell of charred wood to almost scramble Mayfield out, the scent of lightly burnt skin as the ladies returned fire.
"Just like those cargo thieves, Thomas… You've got this."
Ended up fooling nobody but himself; had no training and no way to charge his gun. Didn't matter how he held it; between the legs, in his teeth or under his foot, his barrel kept cold while the ladies' eyes glowed hot, only their efforts enough to save them.
"Thomas, quit screwing around and join us!"
"Yes Captain, but this trash's holding me back. You've got anything else?"
Leela looted some weapons and tossed one over: "Here, take this. Little better than fists, but does the job. Bender, since when did you ever lack firepower?"
"Gee, let me think… How 'bout that magical time when I had my job and guards, bossy-boots?"
"Oy, quit your blue you two!" Mayfield snapped. "Anyway Captain this'll do, let's go."
Their battle at Spheron-1, and Zapp's battle of the Octillian System, all over again. And for Zapp's 'element of surprise', the pistols in their hands, the multiple stories of adversaries, and the scores of DOOP soldiers being slain, it was perhaps the one battle of dozens to finally overwhelm them all.
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Back on the bridge, and ripping the phone out since denying Zapp's 10th call inside minutes, Leela's eye glinted red-hot as her co-pilot and charge clutched themselves into a frenzy.
"That sagging bag of stupid! We had it all wrapped up and he does THAT?"
Mayfield started chewing his knuckles; Leela had to slap him one as it devolved into a rapid pulse, heightened breaths and sudden cramps.
"Get a hold of yourself, damn you!"
The new draftee had vanished for the bathroom; it hadn't been enough.
"Jeez, of all times… Okay Amy, listen up. If we're gonna help Bender escape, let's get some ideas going, pronto."
Despite Leela's triple-shot capabilities, her dual-wielding skills, or the several circuits she had shortened, the saboteurs could still see the Mayor's Quarters from where they stood. The guards kept proving smart in strategy and deadly in numbers, as if they'd been learning on the fly.
And Bender? Bender never changed. Though quick to use the scattered bodies as shields, a move the crew adopted to progress, he soon made matters worse by taking the clones themselves. For that greater risk of fatality than first planned, Leela threatened to shut him down and leave him behind.
Back on the bridge, Mayfield returned from the bathroom emptied and cooled off, cursing something torrential until he addressed Leela.
"That rat robot's gonna kill us all, and our entire plan too Captain! If we've got…"
Had felt his shoulders gripped: "Do I have suicidal written on my forehead, Thomas? We'll only have that one chance once we're down there, and there's no windows into those quarters. If you want to lose your powers and die in hails of lasers, you be my guest!"
"Got any other ideas, Captain? If it weren't for DOOP's silk-pantied General, we might've been halfway back to Earth by now!"
Amy got in between: "And besides Ma'am, I don't think our clones nor Bender will last down there."
Leela almost tore off her ponytail in seizing it: "Alright, alright! But first we move in for a better landing. In case anyone comes for us, Amy takes the guns, and you"—pointing at Mayfield—"will keep eyes on our clones. Moment they go down, let me know so I can land."
An affirmative given, before Leela revved her engines and began her lift-off.
"We were already violent human scum before our wiring… Maybe we'd better start acting like it."
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Besides Bender's lethal games to contend against, a selection of enforcers had used the elevator to not only seize the Mayor, but give that motley robot crew the full brunt of laser Gatlings and cluster grenades. Didn't matter that they raced up stairs and down hallways, they would only meet another assault.
Feeling their only back-ups were just moments from becoming melted steel, Mayfield gave his signal and gripped tight. High-rise landing a rough one, before the bridge crew began to squeeze their creams—fixing the kid last. They all huddled together, Leela's eye focused upon both as they powered up.
"Amy, Thomas… If Zapp's little crusade kills us all, then as Captain, it's been my honour and privilege to work among you both."
"Ditto and hear, hear!" Mayfield saluted. "In case I don't say so, you're a credit to the Captaincy."
"Thanks ma'am, privilege all mine. Now let's secure Bender and get the spluck outta here!"
Fists in and a call to action, before they pelted out and leapt off, Mayfield screaming for the ten-second freefall. A new plan to free their 'friend'; bust through the crowd, enter the quarters, and get to the top, pronto.
In speed, avoidance of DOOP's city-wide danger zone. In strength, a force to tear up whatever came their way. In invulnerability, one-man or woman armies in the making. Again no luck on the sea creatures, though perhaps for the best.
First thoughts were to race up those stairs and finish every last robot in sight, but it was enough of a gamble without going powerless on a whim. They knew the robots had reserves for days, and they still had to come back down to the warzone…
"Screw the stairs guys!" Mayfield yelled over the lasers. "How 'bout we use our heads here?"
"Do you need yours checked?" Leela babbled while battering metal. "You think you'll outsmart these guys?"
"No Captain, we're gonna leave them behind."
He then took a leap to let his diamond-tipped head crash through the ceiling, now calling down from two floors above. Took just a blink for the ladies to understand and follow suit; just moments until they reached the Mayor's Quarters again.
A shout across for Bender to get down as the crew sped for him, as the enforcers again let their laser Gatlings loose. Once the shots caromed back to leave them as the clones, everyone finally got their chance to rest.
But while Bender chattered and crapped bricks, the real Leela to stand before him began to approach slow. In remembering past deeds, only a roar before she launched herself and bulldozed the bot, berating him as she slapped his chrome head over & over. In her eye, a hopeful or perhaps futile attempt to override his conscientious objection protocols.
For Amy and Mayfield, quite the sight to see Bender become a spinning top, and one to stifle mouths over.
"Goddammit Bender, once more and I'll leave you here to rot!"
"Leela? LEELA Leela? What in my name are you doing here? Those robots will skin you alive!"
"If you had stopped screwing us to save yourself, you spineless baby, we never would've BEEN here! And for what, one more second of sweet life on this dump?"
"It's a magnificent, glorious life thank-you. Always worth rescue even for all this time, all I've apparently caused to happen."
"All you MADE happen, you bastard. Over twelve months I boiled, for your crime and dash…"
Leela prised his shoulders to the ground and stared deep into those square pupils.
"Coming in, all I imagined were my fists all over you, punching 'till you looked like your friends there. But then came your lessons, our adventures together, all the bonds we forged… Did you think I'd be so heartless as to forget? That I'd leave behind an only friend in three decades, if I knew where they were?"
As Leela let him stand up, Bender was, for the first time since last year, now paying strict attention.
"Listen, we really did want you to think things over. Make sure you were truly happy to come back. But courtesy of Captain Commando and his stupid war, we can't afford to now. We can't know nor promise that Fry's back, but you've got your 'replacement' to partly thank, for coming this close…" Her thumb and pointer began to touch. "So grab yourself a gun, for now's not the time to hold us back."
Bender surveyed the room; his friends (and Mayfield) knew that his actions had already destroyed them twice. He replayed the condemnation from his first, truly best friend; only words to forsake him even against the albums of tortures, schemes and abuse.
Such thoughts soon had him buck up, light a cigar in his mouth, and roll up to roll back his sleeves, pulling out the Bender Special after he did so. A blinged-up laser gun, beyond anything the crew had seen.
"So sayeth Bender the Magnificent, time to give my comrades their 'do svidaniyas' for good."
To everyone's surprise, he backed his words quicker than spoken, leading the way as a real fire burned under his ass. Hopping down the holes as the crew followed close, Bender tore through his guards as wet paper; thorough knowledge of his quarters his biggest advantage.
A do-or-die, if not effective, situation. One that right at the 25th floor had halted Mayfield over a deep fall, his powers running out. Stopping himself short and swiping his brow, he requested a time-out to slap on more cream.
"Let's go tube-stick! I've got places to go, packages to bend, and things to kill!"
In no mood to wait, Bender kicked out his limb to shove Mayfield down, leaving him to swear before his arms splayed out and stopped his freefall. A great reprieve at first, before the lasers began to rip through his body. Watching the kid become a human Swiss cheese, the crew could only yell as they got him out.
"The hell is wrong with you?!" the Captain had rebuked.
"Well EXCUSE me for him slowing us down."
Leela did what she could, but aside from Mayfield smiling as he gave his gun away, she knew it'd be hopeless down here. As for the worms themselves, the Lord Mayor could only command his minions to go into survival mode; repair or maintain organ damage, stem bleeds as they arose, generate resources where possible, and pray that he got to a medical facility and cookery store in time.
Mayfield wasn't sure, but he knew it couldn't have been a bad way to go. An epic war to save a friend, compared to drowning in vomit chunks, was a MUCH better look on a headstone.
"Whatever happens after, I'm glad I made a man of myself."
He fell unconscious soon after; hoping to prevent further damage, Leela worked her Miracle rubs into Mayfield's skin, before hoisting him upon her shoulders. The moment Bender stretched his arms to let everyone swing or climb down the holes, was the moment their spree would pick up again.
About to exit that hellish warzone, before their cream's effects began to vanish.
Then and there, the doors were stormed yet again; half a dozen of Chapek-9's foot soldiers taking careful aim at the crew. Even for their running, dodging and protection of the other, they too suffered their burns and holes before they hid away. Amy and Leela could only hug each other, hoping it'd end soon, before Bender ran and asked for Mayfield's body.
Peasant sorts so caught up in their idolatry of human hatred, they didn't factor in that Bender would use that lifeless corpse against them. All the lasers would return their way, and if they didn't put holes in themselves, Bender's ramming and javelin throws certainly did. Once the ambushers went down, he dumped the body near the door and raced back to the ladies, thankfully still conscious.
As the Captain hissed across to search her pocket, so Bender could slather them up, out came a new plan.
Taking a little time to recover and power up, Leela seized her charge and Amy grabbed Bender, dragging them along before racing out the door. True to form, a tremendous crescendo of laser fire had bid them farewell as they leapt for the skies, leaving Bender flailing once more in panic. A safe landing, and two quick gap leaps later, they found some sweet merciful safety back inside the ship.
"What are you two standing around for?! Buckle that kid in, and if he starts leaking and convulsing, get that cream on straight away! Our Med-Bay won't save him here; we need to dock him aboard the Nimbus."
"I'm Leela, save the kid, nyeh nyeh nyeh." Bender mimicked as he tossed him on the seat.
"Cram it Bender… Please may we escape these menaces…"
An order and prayer as she revved the engines, as Amy rushed for the co-pilot controls, and as Bender fiddled with those seatbelts. To escape without facing laser fire, Leela had to pivot straight up in her launch, an expert spin to send almost everybody but her crashing about the bridge.
But minutes later, the Planet Express crew had reached atmosphere and escaped orbit, everyone aboard and most in one piece given the hour and change behind her.
"Son-of-a-bitch… We did it!"
As she placed herself into Auto-Pilot, a huge pump of fists and collection of hugs in the celebrations had. Not to mention a chance to consider the events.
From well in hand to unthinkable that the mission had succeeded, she had to feel suspicious against such a chain of events; the General's attention-grabbing announcement, his ridiculous betrayal of alliances, and her charge down and close to out. Always for the best, but for such eagerness to rescue her, she never did see him on the battlefield itself.
Mocking his sense of 'brave-ay-dough' or not, it sure couldn't have been coincidence once the Nimbus suddenly pursued her, dooming thousands of soldiers still fighting on ground. As she readied her hailing frequency, she knew she wasn't going there just to get her crew healed up once again.
Just to figure out what plans were made and which lines were crossed, for the hand she'd always deny him, she was going to get a 'clarification' on Zapp's words. A chance to figure out his game.
And if everything turned out as she imagined, well… The General would make a fine warm-up for her age-old marathon to come.