"Well, how did it go?" Bea asked on Monday morning, Frankie had scheduled an official meeting, meaning that the two women sat in a private room without worrying about any fly's on the wall.
"It was fine, a lot of fun actually, Bridget's nieces are the cutest things" Frankie swooned, then caught herself as she saw the smirk on Bea's face.
"Fuck off" She said before the older woman even had a chance to mock her. Bea raised her hands in defence, making a silent promise to herself to wait till Frankie least expected it before she started the mocking.
"So I was chatting to Lily, Bridget's sister in law, she's a lawyer too, but for some big firm... and I was chatting to her about your case, and she was filling me in on the details of how some positive PR can actually impact the outcome of the trial. She said the importance of it was to start early on in the piece, way before anyone knows of the reason your doing it, by that point it will be way too late as people will already have formed their own opinions. I couldn't help but agree, and Gidge has an old friend from Uni who writes for a newspaper, she spoke to her and asked if she would be interested in interviewing you and writing up a piece, start the ball rolling, and well she agreed to it, if you agreed to it. So what do you think? I think she wants to interview you with the outlook of what it's like returning to prison with amnesia" Frankie spluttered, trying to regain control of herself and turn the conversation away from her swooning.
"If you think it's a good idea then I will give it a go, I trust you, so if you think it's going to help, then set it up" Bea smiled warmly.
"it's funny, I knew you would say that, so she will be here after our session to start, she wanted me to fill you in on how she does things so there will be no surprises, so she will be recording the whole thing with a camera, she does this so when she comes to write the article she can make sure she documents any reactions well. She has agreed to submit the recording to me after she has finished with it, that way we may be able to use it in the case too" Frankie smiled, glad that Lily had made the suggestion to her.
H wing was a buzz when a tall ginger woman strode confidently into the unit, guided by two officers who were shouting for the inmates to calm down and keep it in their pants as they cat called towards the stunning woman who was dressed immaculately.
"You must be Frankie Doyle" She grinned as she held out her hand to the woman Bridget had described to her, she couldn't believe the short brunette stood before her was Bridget's fiancé, she didn't seem Bridget's type, and she should know, she once was Bridget's type herself.
"Yep that's me, and you must be Sophia?" Frankie asked, taking the tall woman's hand in her own, challenging her gaze unintentionally.
"The one and only" Frankie couldn't help but grin, two years ago she would have seen this woman as a challenge and would be flirting crazily with her right now, trying whatever she could to get the woman into her cell, how time and love changes you.
"Let me introduce you to Bea, Bea Smith" Frankie moved the conversation along as she introduced Bea, she watched in amusement as the fire haired beauty set up her camera, and plonked herself down at the table opposite Bea to begin their interview
"It's here Allie announced, as she handed the paper to Bea who was shocked to see her face on the front cover of the leading newspaper, she glanced at the picture on the front cover, it was from after her arrest of Braydon Holt and she looked pissed, and slightly psychotic if she admitted to herself. She read the headline 'Double murder inmate confesses all in an exclusive interview' then underneath in smaller letters, it told her to turn to page 4 to read the feature on her. She glanced at the picture again, wondering why the journalist had decided to use such a confronting photo of her when she was meant to be painting a picture of what Bea was really like, or was she really like the woman she barely recognised in the photo.
It was early afternoon on Monday 17th October when I pulled up outside of Wentworth Correctional Facility for the first time, and as I sat in my car looking at the building I had yet to enter, the eight foot concrete wall that never seemed to end was topped with barbed wire, and to get past that wall, I would have to enter the solid security gate that was manned from the inside by a young officer who looked like he would arrest me and detain me in the prison if I were to even look at him the wrong way. I have been to many places around the world, chasing the latest stories, but as I took those last steps towards that gate, the building imposing in my eyeline, I have never felt so scared and nervous in my life.
Why was I here? I was asked by a contact to meet with an inmate and conduct an interview into her amnesia following an attack with another inmate, the story intrigued me and so I agreed, but what I walked into that day, was the furthest from what I expected.
I walked accompanied by a blonde officer by the name of Linda Miles, and a tall handsome officer by the name of Will Jackson towards the inmates unit, it was unusual practise to interview an inmate inside the prison, normally these things would be conducted in an interview room, but my contact had set it up for the amnesia riddled inmate to be comfortable in her surroundings. As I walked down that hall, I was shocked to hear the calls of the inmates, shouting at me like I was a piece of meat, I have never been so appalled or felt so intimidated, but the second I entered the unit of my client, I had never felt at so much ease.
Beatrice 'Bea' Smith, was sent to Wentworth Correctional Facility on 12th March 2012 after being charged with the attempted murder of her husband, Harry Smith, now deceased. She was there on remand, awaiting sentencing when her life was flipped upside down, her daughter overdosing on heroine, before she had a mental breakdown and murdered one inmate before breaking out of custody to kill a second person.
And whilst I sat opposite this woman, who was capable of two murders and at least one attempted murder, and was more than capable of murdering me if she so wished, I was shocked with the person sat before me, the anger and hate I had expected in her eyes was none existent, in fact she sat there with a shy smile on her face, welcoming me to her home and asking if she could get me a cup of tea. Being a junkie for new experiences, I of course accepted her offer, now I can cross off 'high tea in a prison' from my bucket list, the intriguing woman had returned with two cups of steaming hot tea and a variety of biscuits for me to enjoy. I'm ashamed to admit that my first reaction was that she was trying to poison me, but as I relaxed and realised that she had no reason to harm me, I took a sip of my tea and couldn't believe that of all places in the world, inside a prison was where I had found the most delicious tea.
I began by asking Smith the normal routine questions which I had formulated the night before, planning the interview to get the story that I needed from it, but what I hadn't expected was for an entirely different story to be sitting in front of me. Those who have followed my career will know already that this segment Is not written in my usual format, however, I was that moved by the story I had stumbled on, that I decided on this occasion, Bea Smith's story was worth a change.
Before her arrest, Bea Smith was a 38 year old hairdresser who worked in a salon in Collingwood, she was married, with one child, a daughter Debbie and lived in a modest house in a good area, her husband, Harry Smith, was a sales man who sold automotive parts and services to garages, earned enough money to support his family and was a much loved member of the community.
However behind closed doors of that modest house lay a monster, Harry Smith was an abusive husband. Regularly beating Bea for reasons only he dictated, if she had cooked the wrong meal, returned home from work late, didn't punish their daughter to his standards... from all sense and purposes, if she breathed in the wrong pitch, he would punish her by breaking her down mentally and physically, and upon viewing Smith's medical record, the evidence is clear, that she herself was lucky to make it out of the marriage alive.
When I asked Smith if she had in fact attempted to end her husbands life, she nodded sombrely, not at all what I was expecting, no outburst that he deserved it, no admission that she would do it all over again if she could and no pride in her eyes, in fact her eyes held nothing but sadness, and as I probed further, she admitted that she had in fact attempted to end the mans life. And after hearing what he had put her through, frankly I don't blame her, but of course that is my personal opinion and not that of the paper, so how did this meek woman in front of me end up in prison for attempted murder?
One evening, Bea's husband Harry returned home from work late, he had decided to go with some work friends to a local pub and had stumbled home highly intoxicated, Bea was nervous to admit that 'the second he walked through the door and stumbled into the wall whilst trying to remove his shoes, I just knew what was coming, he was always violent, but when he drank he took it to a whole new level, its like the more he drunk, the less restraint he would have, and I knew with a sinking feeling, that he had drunk enough that if he started hitting me, I would be leaving the house in an ambulance' As Bea spoke, I examined her face, watching for any signs that the woman was playing me with her sob story, but the sincerity in her eyes was overwhelming, she wasn't even angry as she described the beatings and the fear that she had felt on so many occasions, her eyes only expressed a deep regret for her own actions.
Harry had failed to notify Bea that he was going to be home late, 'he told me many times that he would do as he wanted, when he wanted and he had nothing to answer to me for' so it wasn't really a surprise that he had arrived home late, intoxicated. I asked Bea what it was that started the argument, and with a sad smile she admitted that she hadn't made sure to keep his dinner warm, instead she had wrongly assumed that he would want her to reheat it when he got home. Even now, four years later, this woman in front of me still hung on to the fact that it was her fault that she took the beating that night, that if she had just kept the food warm instead of deciding to reheat it, the beating wouldn't have happened, and all of the fall out from her arrest would have been avoided. And as I looked into those lost brown eyes, which held no trace of the violent woman I expected, I knew that I had to tell her story honestly and without the usual theatrics that most journalists turn to in order to get a good scoop.
I asked Bea to start from the beginning with her story, and to my great surprise, she pulled out several sheets of A1 paper, which had been taped together to form a huge map of Bea's life. I discovered that this was something she had been working on with Wentworth's in-house forensic psychologist, Bridget Westfall, who commented that 'mapping out Bea's memories has been a great help in assisting her to line up her life story as snippets of memory return' She informed me that they hold regular sessions in which they discuss Bea's memories and plot them down on the map, tracing them back to when they happened so that Bea had a functioning timeline of where each memory fit into her life, and I have to admit that it was an impressive achievement. I lost count after 20 sheets of A1 paper, and clearly the technique had been working, as Bea was able to start from the top and work her way down the timeline, recalling memories as she went and adding them to the chart.
'It amazes me how every time I look at this thing, whether to just read it or add a memory to it, something else comes back, it could be something as small as picking my daughter up for school and taking her to the park, or something massive which provides me with more detail about the person I was before the attack and my memory loss, Miss Westfall has been amazing with my recovery, I couldn't have gotten as far as I have without her help. The women here love her, she is amazing at her job and goes out of her way to help every inmate, I have never known a screw to have so much respect amongst the women" Bea admitted shyly as she first showed me the map, she even laughed softly when I suggested that Bridget Westfall should add her as a reference on her resume, not the hardened criminal that I had believed I was interviewing today, but instead a thoughtful, kind and supportive woman.
Bea pointed out to the time on her map where she was arrested and taken into custody, in big writing it read 'ARRESTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER' in a permanent marker, but underneath it in several shades of biro were notes that were added at various points in time. Glancing up I noticed that there were further notes about the events of that night that changed her life, and a sickness evaded my body as I read about the memories.
Harry had returned home and beaten Bea to barely being able to move, he had then threatened her that if she didn't pick herself up and clean herself up before their daughter got home and saw her, he would do worse than beat her. As Bea managed to get herself up, he had stood laughing at her, mocking her for how pathetic she was, then he grabbed her hair, pulling him roughly against her body, she detailed how she could feel his erection against her back and buttocks as he sneered into her ear that she was worthless and disgusting, she detailed how she feared what was coming next, knowing that it would always be worse than the beatings. Harry liked to violate Bea in more ways than with his fists, he would rape her at any opportunity he could, Bea could only cry as she explained to me that his verbal assault would continue as he violated her, using all his strength to make sure that she would feel the repercussions of his rape for days afterward, that he would bruise her internally as well as externally.
It was at that point, with tears running down my own face as I listened to the brutality and violence that this woman had been exposed to, that I asked her why she had never reached out for help or ran away. There are many avenues for partners involved in domestic violence, many groups, shelters and tools, I was confused as to why Bea hadn't taken advantage of any of these.
"Firstly, when you're in an abusive relationship, the dominant person knows how to build fear in you, they belittle you at every opportunity, breaking down your walls and self respect, crumbling every ounce of will that you have until you're left just a shell of a person, they make you believe that your not worthy of help, that if you asked for help people would laugh in your face because you were disgusting and vile and nobody would believe that anyone would want to touch you. they have this way of finding out every insecurity you have and using it against you - even the insecurities you didn't even know you had, playing you with it and making sure that their power over your fear and insecurities keeps their secret safe" I could see in Bea's eyes that as she detailed her very valid point to me, that she spoke with so much conviction and spoke of nothing but the truth, yet there was still not an ounce of anger in her eyes. I was shocked, because as I tried to place myself in her shoes, I knew that my eyes would be full of vengeance by this point, but this strong timid woman before me only smiled sadly as I watched, her eyes full of pain, and not revenge.
"I also had Debbie to consider, although Harry was incredibly violent and abusive towards me, he was a good father to our daughter, at least he was before I was put inside. Debbie had already gone through so much in her life time, although we tried to hide it from her, of course she had overheard the yelling and beatings, of course she had witnessed the bruises, the scars, the broken bones and the broken furniture around the house that I couldn't get cleaned up in enough time, kids are really perceptive of their surroundings, she knew what was going on, and I felt like a failure to her, no kid should have to be ashamed of a mother who let herself be beaten most days... but I couldn't bring myself to force her into broken home too, some warped part of my mind told me that if I left, it would be worse for her, a child deserves to have both parents in her life. And there was also the fact that Harry had warned me very clearly that if I ever ran away or told the cops, he would hunt me down and make me watch as he told the whole world how bad a mother I was, how terrible a person I was, and he would turn Debbie against me in the same way that he had turned my parents and my siblings against me, that he would have no worries ripping another person from me and making sure that they saw me for the vile, disgusting piece of trash that I was. He was also very clear that if I ever tried to take Debbie away from him he would take sole custody of her legally, he would cut me off leaving me financially ruined and unable to afford any legal help and would use all of our money to hire the best lawyer possible to destroy me and destroy any chance I had of being a mother or a relationship with my child"
I couldn't believe the words I was listening to, and I couldn't believe that behind the warm smile was a woman who four years later, was still being mentally and emotionally abused by a man that had long gone cold in his grave.
"That night, when he beat the crap out of me, and I knew that rape was coming next... he grabbed my hair and shoved me roughly so was bent over the couch, as he grabbed my pyjamas and ripped them away, he said something that I had never once heard him say before... he told me that if I didn't stay still and take it like a good bag little bitch, that he was going to make me watch as he hurt Debbie" The inmate visibly shuddered before me, her eyes filling with tears and her face paling, still living in the memory of her haunting past.
"The next thing I knew he was laid on the floor unconscious and I was towering over him with the table lamp in my hand, I still don't remember exactly what happened, but I'm assuming that when he said those disgusting things about Debbie, I lost it, grabbed the lamp and hit him with it, I would take every beating and rape he could give me, but I would be damned if I would let him lay a single finger on my beautiful girl... the memories around this are a haze, I'm still working on getting the whole night back, but I do remember pushing his body into the car, taping him down so he couldn't move if he came around and setting up the car so it would look like he killed himself, when I think about these memories its bizarre, its like I'm watching a movie of someone who looks like me doing it, I don't ever remember myself in my own body doing it, just watching myself doing it. Miss Westfall things that its a disassociation mechanism from my brain, perhaps I had suffered a mental breakdown at the time and was acting on impulse and wasn't aware of what I was doing, I cant answer that... but I do know what I did was wrong, whether it was intentional or not, what I should have done after I knocked him unconscious, was ring Debbie and make sure she stayed away from home for the night, then rung the police and gotten them to come over, I cant tell you why I didn't do that when that is exactly what I should have done, but I can tell you that I wish with every breath that I had, if I had done that then I wouldn't have been put in this god awful place, and I would never have put Debbie's life at risk, and my beautiful daughter would be away at Uni right now, growing up and forming into the adult she would spend the rest of her life being and being the beautiful adult I always knew she would be, instead my little girls ashes are in a grave, and all her potential is just gone."
For the hundredth time already, my heart broke for the inmate as I could see her internal demons fighting behind her brown eyes, it was clear that this woman had already suffered so much more than any person should ever had to suffer, and by the look in her eyes, the suffering would continue for the remainder of her life.
We moved down the list and I questioned her about something that caught my eye. 'CONVERSATION WITH WILL JACKSON ABOUT DEBBIE' there were no notes underneath it, and so I asked for Bea to explain to me. When her daughter had died, the prison board refused to allow her to visit the morgue to pay her last respects and say goodbye to her 16 year old daughter. Mr Jackson, the handsome officer from earlier in the day, had offered to go on Bea's behalf in his own time, taking with him a message from Bea that she loved her daughter to the moon and back, when he had returned the next day, he had spent an hour detailing the visit to Bea, she had yet to remember the conversation, but Mr Jackson had attended one of her counselling sessions to explain it to her, not only helping her say goodbye to her daughter, but also helping her to regain her memory of her daughter. Another surprise for me... not all cons and screws are at each others throats.
Bea went on to explain to me that Mr Jackson had also attended her daughters funeral after her permission to attend had been revoked for no reason as she made her way to the funeral. When quizzed about her unusual relationship with the officer, Bea commented "Mr Jackson is a wonderful prison officer, he is fair and he is strict. If you treat him with respect, he will happily give you a kind word or go out of his way to help you, but if you disrespect him, or any of the other officers or women, he will come down hard on you, making it clear that you were in the wrong and need to amend your ways. What he did for me, for Debbie, attests to how amazing he is at his job, and I will always have a strong respect for him, as do many of the women, in fact you won't be surprised to know that he is kind of the spunk of Wentworth, many of the women love to flirt with him and try to convince him to cross the line and push the boundaries, but I have never seen him be anything less than professional with the women, if the correctional boards could find more officers like him, they would quickly find themselves releasing more rehabilitated women than ever before" Bea laughed wholeheartedly when I asked if she was listed on Mr Jackson's resume as a reference as well as Miss Westfall's. It was a wonderful laugh to hear, and after seeing the dark pain in her eyes, it was wonderful to see the smile reaching her eyes.
"I keep being told how nice his arse is" Bea grinned, "Perhaps he should put that in his resume, I know plenty of women who would be happy to confirm it" the way the woman's eyes danced, you could tell that she was letting me getting a glimpse of some inside joke. She almost cackled when I asked if she was one of the women who enjoyed Will Jacksons backside.
"No, I have actually found love in here, and I only have eyes for her" I couldn't believe the change in this woman's eyes, two moments ago they were full of pain and self hatred, the next full of amusement, and now they were full of love. She blushed slightly as I examined her, clearly realising that she had said more than she meant to, and this was just another side to the supposed hard, violent and cold killer that was meant to be sat in front of me. She was blushing at the mention of someone that she had fallen in love with, she was being bashful and timid about it. This woman was full of surprises.
Several minutes later as we were back to discussing the details around her daughters death, the remaining women from the unit returned from what I was Informed was their work duty. As they entered the large baron space we were sat in, I felt apprehension at being outnumbered by convicts, despite my guards being stood at the gate for my protection. But my nervousness was completely unfounded as I watched several women, each as different from each other as possible enter the room, offer me a kind smile as they each kissed Bea's head affectionately as they passed her and made their way towards the communal couch politely to not interrupt our conversation. I watched as Bea's eyes followed one of the prisoners with an almost dreamy look in her eyes, another surprise for me. This inmate was clearly the woman she was in love with, and let me assure you that even a blind person would have been able to see that love.
I quizzed Bea on her room mates, commenting on how they seemed different from the other women I had been introduced to on my way to start the interview.
"All the women on this unit have taken heed of the opportunities, lessons and respect that Governor Bennett, Mr Jackson and Miss Westfall have given them. Each of these women are reformed individuals who are quietly serving out their sentence, only getting involved in prison politics when protecting a victim from some of the abusive, violent and psychotic women that find themselves in Wentworth." It seems that Bea Smith would be busy writing references for people in the rest of her sentence.
We were interrupted as an alarm siren sounded, and I have to admit that I was scared out of my senses when they tannoy announced a code blue and for all inmates to return to their units. I was even further shocked when Bea announced to the two officers on guard that she would make sure I was safe with her whilst they attended the situation. What surprised me most, was the trust the officers showed her, clearly respecting that they would keep an eye on me, after checking that I was comfortable with the situation, the officers locked us all in the unit and I found myself feeling completely safe and comfortable as the women around me told me that a code blue meant that a fight had broken out somewhere in the prison and an officer was involved in the altercation, making sure that I knew that I was safe in their unit and the situation would be over in a few minutes, and they were right, it was.
As we waited for the situation to be over, Bea introduced me to her room mates, Liz was a mother of two, a recovering alcoholic who had made a mistake during a drunken occasion which found herself locked up. She was the mother of the group, and as she brought us both a fresh cup of tea and patted Bea's shoulder soothingly, it was clear that she loved her role as the mother hen. Then there was Maxine, a post operation Transgender female who was Bea's best friend inside. The woman was in remission from cancer and had been trough a recent mastectomy, she had stabbed her boyfriend during an argument with a pair of scissors, and as Bea told me her story, it was evident that the boyfriend had been controlling and on the verge of abusive. Then there was Sue, who the inmates lovingly call Boomer, based on her ability to boom her voice across any space, Bea explained to me that Boomer had entered the prison several years ago on assault charges, and had found herself mixed up in all sorts of trouble which had kept adding time to her sentence. I was shocked to discover that the woman was pregnant, and with the child of Maxine, Bea explained to me how Boomer had been spending a lot of time going through counselling to combat her anger issues and had done a complete 360 since Bea's arrival. The woman was participating in several courses to help her get a job when she was finally released. Then there was Doreen, a young aboriginal woman who was sentenced because of her crashing her car whilst under the influence of drugs and alcohol, the crash causing the loss of her unborn child which she didn't know she was carrying. Doreen was quiet, and well spoken, proud to show me photos of her son, Joshua, who lives on the outside with his father. The last woman that Bea introduced me to was Allie, the blonde who had captured Bea's heart, and as I watched the two women interact, it was clear that the love they had found in each other was rare and true. Allie admitted to me that she was inside because of her links to a group called the Red Right Hand who had been arrested following a string of violence against men who were getting away with violent crimes against women. She filled me in on how she was a recovering drug addict who had been forced to turn to prostitution after being kicked out of her family home at the age of 14.
As Bea introduced all of these women, who were going out of their way to make me feel safe and welcome, I couldn't help but come to the conclusion that I had been completely ignorant to the truth's of inmates around the world. These women weren't a threat to society anymore, each of them had found themselves committing a crime and being punished for it, and regardless of what it took for them to get to the point they were all at now, they had all come to terms with their life choices and were working towards being better people, each looking forward to being released and building a life for themselves.
As I sat and watched Allie stand behind Bea, playing with her hair as the three of us chatted easily, I could have forgotten that I was sat inside a prison with convicted murderers and people who had committed violent crime, and instead could have been sat in a bar chatting to new friends over a drink. And that was certainly not something I expected to be feeling right there.
Bea continued on with her story, telling me how Jacs Holt had made her son, Braydon Holt, get close to Debbie and get the former A grade student addicted to drugs, before giving her a hot shot. A hot shot was described to me as a lethal dose of drugs which was injected, by ones self or by an attacker, with the intent to end the life of the person receiving the hot shot. Bea described to me how she had ended up in the psych ward, being force fed narcotics to calm her down, the only thing she remembers from this time is being in a bubble where she lived a content life with Debbie, but with the pain evident in her eyes, I didn't push her for further details, the bubble that she shared with her daughter was for her own memories.
Referring back to the timeline, Bea was able to walk me through the next few steps that happened, but was very diplomatic about the events, she admitted that she had regained some memories around the event, but was still trying to piece them all together to find out what had actually happened. From my research it was claimed that Bea Smith had cornered the inmate Jacs Holt and had stabbed her with a pen, watched as she bled out and was then caught leaving the cell, however Bea was unsure of how many of these 'facts' were true. She told me that she still doesn't remember how she ended up in the cell, or what she was doing there, but divulged what she did remember.
'I remember Jacs moving to attack me, and my first instinct was self defence, Jacs was a formidable woman, she ran the prison as top dog with fear and violence, and I had been on the receiving end of her fury several times and thought that in that moment I was going to be meeting my untimely death. I'm not too sure how it happened, but as Jacs made a move at me, I grabbed a pen and before I knew it, it was buried in her neck. She stood looking at me with this smirk on her face, like I had done exactly what she wanted me to do, and she stumbled back away from me. I was in so much shock at what had just happened that I just stood watching as she ripped the pen from her own neck, her blood gushing out and spraying all over me. I moved forward to cover the wound with my hands to try and stop the blood flow while I called for help, but with her last ounces of energy, she pushed me away, looking at me as if she had royally screwed me over. I rushed to the panic button and hit it, so hard that I felt like I was going to break my hand. Within seconds there were screws everywhere, they saw Jacs bleeding out on her bed, saw me covered in blood, put two and two together and I was slotted, charged and then sentenced for her murder" When questioned whether she believed the charges were correct, Bea looked at me deeply in the eyes, the pain behind them had returned, and she answered honestly "I'm not sure if I wouldn't call it murder, I don't know if I went there with the intent to harm her, I haven't been able to regain that memory, but I do believe that regardless I should have been charged with at least manslaughter. Regardless of how the situation arose, there is no denying that I was responsible for her death, and I am paying for that gross error in my judgment now with my life, as it stands I stand no chance of being released from this place, Jacs got what she wanted all along, she killed my daughter, and then killed any chance I ever had of being able to be on the outside and build a life. I have come to terms with the fact that I will spend the rest of my life inside these walls and will one day leave in a coffin, but until then I will have to watch the people I love and care about walk outside and build a life that doesn't include me, one day I will have to say goodbye to my soulmate and watch as she leaves to build a life that I will never be a part of, and although there is a little part of me that is selfish and wishes I could keep her here with me forever, more than anything I want for her to get out there and show the world how incredible she is, to build a life and be happy and safe, as much as it hurts to think about it and admit to it, I hope she finds someone who she can love, and will treasure her half as much as I do, who will look after her and make sure that they make her smile her beautiful smile, and laugh without restriction, and give her something to truly live for and stay clean for, and the biggest punishment that I could ever receive is that I wont be there to be that person, and we will never be able to build a home with my Debbie and get our happily ever after" There are no words that I can use to describe the pain in the brown eyes before me, this was clearly a topic that the woman thinks of on a regular basis, and I couldn't help but smile as the woman in question soothed her lovingly and told her not to think about it, that it was too far in the future and they would work it all out. And my heart broke. Bea Smith had already been through so much, had already lost so much and one of the biggest things she had lost was the opportunity for a future, even after she pays the price of her crimes, after she atones for her mistakes and reforms, she will remain locked inside Wentworth with no opportunity of a future, and again this is my own personal opinion and not the opinion of the paper, the woman sitting before me deserves a chance at a future.
Bea continues on describing to me the events which led to the death of Braydon Holt, explaining to me how she managed to get into a position where she could escape from custody to exact revenge on him, but was adamant that she was repeating information she had been told and that she had yet to regain any worth while memories from that specific event.
"After I was charged with his murder" Bea moved along. "I was adamant that I was going to live out my life in prison, do what I could for the women here that I love, and those who would come in the future, help where I could and hopefully stop anyone else from finding themselves in the same position. And that's when all this mess started with The Freak" she was referring to inmate Joan Fergusson, who was previously Governor of Wentworth and found herself incarcerated on criminal charges before being acquitted and going on attack mode and stabbing Smith 17 times, causing massive internal damage, resulting in Bea having a kidney removed, losing several sections of her intestines as well as needing several pieces of muscle repairing, Fergusson now resides at an undisclosed location awaiting trial for the attempted murder of Bea Smith.
"She was manipulative, a true psychopath" Smith explains. "She was responsible for the murder of at least two inmates whilst holding her governor position at Wentworth, The first was a woman who was in Jacs Holt's crew, she gave her a hotshot. The second was a girl who she killed and then tried to cover the murder with the fire that burnt down half of H Block" Bea informed me. "She has this innate way of getting inside peoples heads and getting them do to whatever she needs them to do. We tried to rescue one girl from her, Jodie, she had her slotted and would sneak in there at night and abuse her, messing with her mind and making her have a mental breakdown. She got her into a state where the poor girl would just scratch and scratch at herself until she bled, she even got her to stab herself in the eye with a pencil" Bea admitted with sadness that they were unable to save Jodie from Fergusson's attacks, and Jodie is now residing in a top level psych facility where she is sedated constantly to keep herself from self harm.
"Finally when the fire happened, all our ducks were in a row, and with several reports from different sources being placed upon her, she was arrested. She was locked up in a psych hospital too, having a complete mental break down, but she somehow managed to convince the shrink to release her and then managed to get herself locked up in Wentworth" When questioned on how that was even allowed, Bea simply shrugged her shoulders and with a sad smile she informed me. "That's the freak, she always finds a way to achieve what she wants. The Governor, Miss Bennett... she fought hard to petition her even being here, telling everyone that it wasn't safe, but she was ignored, which clearly was a big mistake, because she played the system, got herself out of protection and begun her mind games straight away on officers and inmates alike"
"Ferguson was put in Allie's old unit, where she got inside Kaz Proctors mind too, I was lucky enough to get Allie away from her, but not before Ferguson used Proctor to attempt her revenge against me by spiking me with Rohypnol and attempting to drown me, luckily Allie and Mr Jackson were able to revive me. She then used Kaz and the other women to drive a wedge between Allie and I, got Allie back on the drugs and broke us up, it was a tough few weeks but eventually I pulled my head in and Allie got off the drugs" Allie was adamant that she only got off the drugs with Bea's help, that the red headed woman had locked the two of them in her cell and guided the woman through cold turkey. Allie described how Bea had held her hair as her body went into withdrawal and she spent the night throwing up, how she had held her down to stop herself from harming herself as she tried to escape the cell to get a fix, how Bea had wrapped her up when she went through her cold shivers, and wiped her down with a damp cloth when she felt like her skin was going to melt off from the fever. And true to my promise to Allie, I'm making sure everyone knows that Bea helped her through that, let me assure you Allie Novak is a very convincing individual.
"Once she realised that the love Allie and I shared was too strong to break, she went after Allie, cornering her when she was alone and giving her a hotshot, she ended up in hospital in intensive care, they decided that she wasn't going to make it and turned her machines off, but Allie was too strong for that and instead of dying, she woke up... Allie One, The Freak Nil" Beas proud smile at her girlfriend was unmistakable, and very heart warming.
"Anyway whilst all this was happening, she managed to get to me too, 17 stab wounds... Bea One, The Freak Nil... It has been a long road to recovery, both mentally and physically, but I'm proud to say that with the help of my girls in H1, and the fantastic support from the staff at both Melbourne Royal Central Hospital and at Wentworth, I am finally starting to remember more than I have forgotten, and my physio has been gruelling, but I'm finally feeling back to my old self physically. There's still a long way to go, but I'm hopeful that within the next year I will be able to regain my full strength and will have regained my full memory... and all Ferguson achieved was creating a few scars and exposing the psychopath she really is, I'm just happy that she is locked away in a secure cell where she is unable to harm anyone else"
And that was the end of my interview. Most journalists will tell you that they had one interview that changed their life, or their outlook on life, and I will openly admit to being sceptic about that 'magic interview' even existing, that was until I spent a day in H Unit at Wentworth with Bea Smith. A woman who against all odds, has made herself a home inside the sinister walls of Wentworth Correctional Facility, has a family support network who love and admire her within the prison, just as much as she admires them, and has found love for the first time. I cant help but feel proud of the woman I have only just met, to go through so much pain and hurt, to put up with years of endless violence and rape, before being thrown into a violent place where she was victimised and had her only child ripped away from her and murdered by a violent crime family, yet somehow she has found a way to atone for her sins, help others and find love.
If you know of, or suspect somebody who is suffering as a result of domestic violence, please contact the hotline on 02 0387 8578. And if you take anything from this article, please take away, that the women inside a prison can be there for many reasons, some a vicious monsters, others made a bad judgement call, and others are there purely because they are the victim of circumstance. If you are able to support a reformed prisoner by helping them get back on their feet by providing them with the opportunity to gain employment after release, please contact the paper, where we will direct you to how to help these women. Without our help they become at a risk of reoffending, or suicide, if you can help these women, please do what you can.
Sophia Livingstone