"Bitch, " Richie spat, wiping blood from his nose and rolling over with a groan. His face was cut, just above his eye, from where he had tripped and smacked it on a rock. The, probably now, vintage glasses of his we're at his feet, u cracked as if by miracle.
The boy had no idea where he was, let alone where his friends were, but he was pissed. He'd walked through shitty water, got drug to some fuckin crack house, fought that notherfucking clown, then did it all again- he thinks- and for what? To wake up in some stupid forest? Bullshit. He'd screw Eddie's mom before he got stuck here. Putting his glasses on, the skinny male began looking around.
El hated this. She was lost, running through stupid trees. Again. It was all so stupid! Especially since this looked nothing like the Upside Down. That was when she saw a familiar face. Mike!
"Mike!" She ran up to the boy, a bright smile on her face. That was.. Until she got closer. She saw him and frowned. "Wait you're not.. You're not Mike, who are you?"
"Oh my God, it's Amy Schumer!" Richie shrieked, acting as if he had caught the black death just from looking at her. The boy pushed his glasses up and made a face at her, pulling up his unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt by the collar. "I don't know, who are you, huh?''
El frowned more and crossed her arms. "I get I'm not very social, but I'm pretty sure that's not how to react to a stranger." The girl looked him over. This guy looked exactly like Mike, but she knew he wasn't him. She let out a soft sigh and shook her head. "My name is Eleven, well.. It's actually Jane but that's a complicated story."
Richie glared and crossed his arms, "Yeah, well I'm pretty sure normal people don't like math enough to name themselves after a fucking number unless you like 7-11 that much. What'd your parents do- fuck in a Slurpee?"
Richie scoffed and uncrossed his arms. He smirked and stuck his hand out, trusting her to be human and not a clown. "Name's El Padre-" He decided to test her sense of humor... Sort of. I mean, how cool would it be to be called El Padre- unironically ? Heh. He was a genius.
Just putting that there so if I disappear you'll know it's because my phone died))
El glared at him before using her funky cool abilities to lift a stick and fling it at his forehead without actually doing anything. "My mom named me Jane, I just go by Eleven because that's what I know." She moved to show the tattoo on her arm. 011.
Richie laughed obnoxiously, turning to his left to slap Eddie on the back. "Get a load o-" He stopped, confused at the empty space beside him, sighing deeply. Great. Fucking great. He forgot about being stuck in the god damn woods. The skinny boy pinched his nose, released it, and exhaled loudly. "Yeah, nice ink, who're ya tryna be Sonny Barger? Outta here with that shit, come on. My dog could get straighter lines with his ass."
He'd do his best to keep up his normal attitude and not let on how quiet it is to be in the woods again without at LEAST Bev by his side.
"Okay, now you're pissing me off." El levitated him, making sure to hold him upside. After everything, she was grateful this power ot whatever was stronger.. Where ever this was. Even her nose only bled a little as she held him there and looked around. "Are you Mike's evil twin or something?"
"WhA-" Richie kicked his feet and clawed at the air, struggling to get down. He knew this wasn't that bullshitting clown- even if she was just as ugly- but this was strangely unhuman. "Let you down you crack snorting bitch and blow your nose while your at it, you self loathing virgin! Leave me alone!"
He had no idea who this "Mike" was or why he was floating like this. Could there be ropes? Wires? The boy continued slapping the air, looking for any way he could find to get down. Maybe the ropes were invisible- "What is this shit! Can only virgins see it? Is that why I can't? Let me down you no-wang asshole!"
"Just shut up, okay? God you're such a mouth breather.." El mumbled, shaking her head before reaching in her pocket. And yep, there was definitely the photos. Her and Max, the whole gang, ah yes! She lowered the rude boy down before showing him the photo of her and Mike. "That's Mike now please shut up."
"What are you some sort of Blaire Witch project ?" Richie glared as he was set back down, preparing to rip her head off before getting distracted. "Hey, who's good looking in the sweater?" He waggled his brows at the near reflection of himself in the photo. The nagging voice in his head, thank you Bill, was screaming "Beep beep, Richie." He took his glasses off and cleaned them, trusting the No-Wang virgin a little more. "So, how the fuck do you plan on getting us out of here? You are aware that I'm more of a mouth guy, right? You're like the fucking Hulk or something had babies with Scarlet Witch."
"The guy in the sweater is Mike, my.." El thought for a moment, not sure if that was a piece of information she was ready to share to his dopple ganger. "He's my friend and I have zero clue how to get out of here which... Is actually weird for me."
Trashmouth
Richie scratched his head and looked around, picking up a rock and chucking it as far as he could-it wasn't very far. "Well don't look at me, Bill's the one with the fucking plans. I'm the diversion, Richie- by the way. Not El Padre. Although..." He smirked and sauntered up to her in a horribly cringey way, dropping his voice to the most racist and horribly stereotypical accent he could, "I can be your Padre, Señora~"
"You were just insulting me in possibly the worst ways possible, now you're going to try to flirt?" Thank god for Max, otherwise El would not have recognized that as flirting. "We need to find a way out of here so I can get back to my world and you yours."
Richie stopped, and kicked the ground a bit, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, about that..." How do you try and explain the fact that you didn't really feel so out of place in this.. "world" as she called it. While passed out on that boulder, Richie had some interesting dreams where he was about 25 years older, balder, and his friends a lot deader. Oh well, that could wait for later. This Eleven, as she called herself, seemed certain it was time to go and that was good enough for him. "Yeah, let's work on that. You're the planning dude now, so dont fucking kill us-"
"If I can protect a bunch of idiots from man eating monsters for years, you don't have to worry about me killing us." She took the scrunchie off of her wrist and pulled up her hair before starting to walk
"Hey! I protected people too! ...Sorta-!" Richie caught up with her, smacking branches and grass out of the way, trying not to trip on rocks. "What're doing out int he fucking woods anyway?" As if he wasn't here too. "Your parents dump you here in an In-N-Out box?
"I don't have any parents, can you just shut the fuck up about it now." She snapped, trying to hide the fact she was on the verge of tears.
Richie sighed, the small beep beep of a warning playing in his mind a little too late. Dammit, where were the Losers when he actually needed them. Fuck it, this was his Loser now and he couldnt risk upsetting her and getting stuck here. Huffing away his pride, Richie apologized. Sorta. "I'm sorry, I have problems."
"Everyone has problems, mouth breather." She muttered the last part as she continued to walk, going to push a branch out of her way and accidentally knocking down the whole tree
Richie glowered, about to open his mouth before jumping out of his skin. "Hey! Watch what you're doing, Carrie! I like my head where its at! Fuck you! You want me to shit all over myself?" He took a deep breathe and continued walking, cutting ahead of her and muttering, "Fucking barf bag..."
"Ass wipe." She spoke up, not muttering that insult. She didn't even care, more and more she just wanted to get home.
"I know, I love wiping ass, especially your mom's ass." He spun around, walking backwards until she caught up, stopping. "That's why she's not around, ya know? Cuz I've been making out and wiping up those big. fat. asscheeks. " He began making extremely put-on kissing noises, making out with an imaginary ass. Beep beep, he didnt care.
El remembered her mom, her poor broken mom.. That was it. Bitch was mad. She started by punching him dead in the nose then lifting him and holding him against a tree. "I will put you on the highest branch of the tree and let you get eaten by any beast that lurks in this forest if you don't shut up!"
Richie gave a scream of pain, clawing at her and trying to get free from her hands. Blood poured form his probably broken nose, dripping into his mouth and the onto the front of his shirt. Still, he pushed himself to feel angry instead of scared. "Oh way to go! Trash the Trashmouth, huh?! Bet you feel real good about yourself! Maybe that's why you're here, ever think about that Mike Tyson ! You suck and you hurt people so your friends left you!"
El threw him to the side, not hard enough to kill him or harm him. But enough to scare the living shit out of him and begin to run away. Her head hurt anyway, she was sure her nose was bleeding too and she was trying her best not to cry.
Richie hit the ground with a harsh expelling of air, he shakily sat up and stood, running his wobbly ass of to get to her. "El!" He called after her, dipping past tree and rolling as he tripped on rocks, "Eleven, I'm sorry! Come back!"
"Just don't!" El turned to look at him, unable to hold back the tears now. Even if Richie wasn't Mike, he looked too much like him for her not to get upset.
Richie yanked his glasses off and pulled at his hair with a frustrated growl, "I didn't mean it, I'm sorry! I just say this shit, okay?!" It wasn't his fault his parents were neglectful douchebags who never taught him right from wrong or how to get along with people. Not to mention the low self esteem radiating off of his weak body like a cut open durian fruit. He walked over to her, hating himself for what he would say. "Look. When you wear glasses, you have to cuss a lot so no one thinks you're a nerd, okay?"
"Look, I don't care what your reasoning is. I have lost everything, and this is the third time now. Do you know what it's like to lose every single thing you have three damn times?" She crossed her arms, trying her best not to cry more as she wiped the blood from her nose.
"Twice, I guess." Richie spit blood from his mouth, wincing in pain as nostrils- or what was probably left of them- moved. "Not three, but close." Richie let himself plop to the ground, breathing tiredly. "Didnt have much to begin with though."
"I didn't have much but.. The second time? I felt like I.. I had so much. And just yesterday.. I felt like I had everything." She shrugged and sat down next to him. "I'm sorry for getting angry."
Richie groaned as he pinched his nose and tipped his head forward. "Its fine, hurt like a motherfuck, but I deserved it." The boy set his glasses down on his lap, careful not to ruin them. "So...this Mike, he here or-?"
"I wish." El mumbled and pulled her knees to her chest. "If he was here, I wouldn't have assumed you were him. It's really terrifying how similar you are to him."
"Huh, well that's fucking shit." Richie moved his clamped fingers and wiped them on his unbuttoned shirt, giving up on keeping it clean. "I'm looking for a couple people, but I don't think they'll be here. Bill, Bev, Stan, Eddie, Ben, uh... my Mike. He's black, don't worry."
"Oh you have a group too? Mine has my Mike of course, then there's Will, Dustin, Lucas, oh and Max. She's like my best friend. There's also Steve, and Mike's sister Nancy and Will's brother Johnathan." She nodded and laughed.
"We're the Loser's Club," Richie said proudly, giving her a bloody smile. "Bill's kinda the leader and Ed's are resident germophobe, he's a pansy and probably sleeps with his mom." It dawned on him how much he missed those guys- Eddie especially. The hypochondriac would be puffing along on a placebo inhaler right about now, complaining about being lost and getting a 'staph infection'. Ha. 'I'll show you a staph infection,' Richie though to himself with a small laugh. "Well, pip pip and tally ho, Eleven!" He stood up and offered her a hand, "We've got friends to get back to and uhhhhh not woods to find!"
Even if she still missed her friends dearly, El took his hand and smiled gently. This fake Mike wasn't so bad, and maybe at the end of this they'd both end up back home.
Richie pulls her to her feet and dusts himself off, "Alright, Carrie, where to? You got the powers, waggle your fingers or something."
"If I could do that, I would I, I..." She stopped for a moment. "We need to find a TV or radio. I actually might be able to do something."
"Do portable ones count?" Richie reached deep into the pockets of his cargo shorts and pulled out a small, two way radio with a hand dial. Definitely vintage, but new when he had it.
"Does it make white noise?" Her eyes went wide, remembering what they called it. "That's... That's what helped me focus. I could talk to people in the upside down."
Richie had heard weirder and he didn't want to end up the way Stanley had in his...dream. He'd seen what doubting could do to you, best not to be too skeptical around the supernatural. Richie set the radio down and slapped the antennae into the most awkward angle, causing the machine to produce nothing but static, "This noise white enough or do we need Hitler, mein sweet Fraulein?" Horrible joke.
"Who's Hitler?" El looked confused before nodding. "This works, this is perfect." She then sat down again, closing her eyes. "I need you to stop talking, is that physically possible for you?"
Richie opened his mouth to protest before kicking rocks, metaphorically and physically, hands in his pockets he began pacing around. Glumly. Sure it was possible. But he wouldnt like it and El would know that. He huffed, kicking a rock.
El nodded and closed her eyes, focusing on the white noise. Focusing on any way to her world, and to Richie's. Except, it was too much. And it became obvious with how her nose bled more and she started to cry yet again
Richie ran over and karate kicked the radio away, stepping on it until it broke into a million pieces. "Die, motherfucker!" He dashed over to El and moved her hair out of her face, looking at her nose, "Don't worry about the shitty old radio, it was Bill's stupid old thing, probably broken already. We won't use anymore of them."
El shook her head and wiped her face, trying to calm down. "I... I can't. It's not working I can't do it we.. Oh my god we're stuck.." Her heart was raising as she tried to stand up, her legs shaking
Richie wasn't Eddie, thank god. Otherwise he'd be screaming and panicking all over the place alongside El. The poofy-haired boy pulled Eleven to her feet and tried his best to do what Bill would in this situation. Richie wasn't a leader and Eleven was struggling to be, what they both needed was a Bill. Or in her case a Mike. "You don't have to, we'll find another way out. Let's focus on finding shelter first, we know what the woods look like- we don't know what's outside of them. We should find somewhere- or build something- before we go galloping out of here like a bunch of fucking Mongols hellbent on destruction."
El nodded, moving to use her shirt to wipe the rest of the blood. "Thanks.. You're right. Let's go see if there's a cabin somewhere that's... Hopefully abandoned."
Richie started walking, keeping by Eleven's side to make sure she didn't run off again. Emotional, this one. He switched to humor, "Yeah, I'm not sleeping with a bear. I prefer my wang where's at and not in the belly of some beast, dont need to be leaking Hamburger Helper all over the place- noooo thanks."
El gave him a small smile. She didn't feel very good, so she probably wasn't going to run off anytime soon. It took a lot out of her to find literally nothing.