Sparks 20

"We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk." -Thomas Moore

(This is the chapter I promised Draggonlunggs that is mostly Kakashi's POV. Tami's won't be reliable this time for the first half)

All Kakashi wanted was a quiet day before his next mission. He just wanted to read his book in the cool shade and have no care in the world. That was the goal. However his goal was thwarted at every turn. Between keeping Obito's ideals alive, visiting their graves of his loved ones and having a talk with Iruka - his day was far more complicated than he wished. Especially the talk with Iruka. It was just awkward. The teacher was convinced he and Tami were dating - Kakashi didn't have it in him to tell the truth. If Iruka knew, he would be in the same place Kakashi was. That wasn't something he'd wish on anybody. Although Iruka had a very different take on it than he did.

"You're lucky, you know?" Iruka laughed nervously, looking away. "You should have seen her. She thought - she thought I was abusing Naruto here. She came in like some avenging angel."

Kakashi stayed quiet for a moment.

"It was kind of scary, really. But it was nice. You know, seeing somebody that concerned about him." Iruka continued.

"Yes, but she's leaving. She has a family." Kakashi said firmly.

"She's been here three years. I haven't even seen any missing posters anywhere. No one has. Who's to say she'll ever find her way home anyways? If they wanted her, wouldn't they have found her by now?" Iruka said.

That was a nice thought, in a way. As if she really was just from around their country, some little lost girl. But Iruka didn't see what he saw. But it was a nice thought. Far more optimistic than his own musings.

"I guess." He hummed. It was a nice thought. But it didn't change anything. He didn't pay much more attention to the conversation before heading on out. Iruka was one of the few who were frequent visitors to the Memorial Stone like he was. The memory of his parents brought him back, the same as Kakashi's memories kept him returning too.

Kakashi left Iruka when he could, as soon as it was convenient.

He had been heading back to his apartment to read when Guy came by to challenge him again. He had hoped when Guy had gotten his own team that he would be far too busy to challenge him. However, it was a pipedream. If nothing else, it fired Guy up even more.

So they raced their usual path, curving in and out of the city to the outskirts and around the gates. Kakashi won, and Guy swore he would train even harder to win next time.

By the time the next day came, he barely had gotten any reading done. He had to go off and find Tami to start their mission. When they first started working together she'd hide in stores or off the beaten path just in spite of him. However now she would often wait near the gate or in an open area in the village for him so she would be easier to spot. That morning? He couldn't find her. Finally, after he couldn't find her in her usual places he went to her apartment. Sure enough - she was there. He snuck in through her kitchen window and found her staring at her bag on the couch. Her things spread around as if she was still trying to decide what to take.

Tami was wavering on her feet - like a strong breeze would blow her right over. He could see she looked absolutely exhausted. She must not have gotten any sleep.

"I thought I told you to get some sleep." He said. She didn't even jump like she usually did when he surprised her. She turned her head to him and lazily studied him.

"'Kashi?" She murmured. "W-when'd... ?"

"Just now. I told you to get some sleep." He answered.

"I- Sas'ke had a nightmare, an'... 'tsbad." She slurred. "Kay… le's… le's go."

He watched as she tried to leave without her bag. He packed what she had (there was a dress? He hadn't seen her in a dress) and shouldered her bag. He would have forced her to sleep but they were under a time crunch and she could sleep on the way. She would be too stubborn to let him just take care of her. He'd wait until she crashed. She would. He'd talk to her when she was reasonable. It wasn't her normal, so he'd let it slide. For now.

He followed her until she tried to walk the wrong way. He guided her away

"Come on, over here." He nudged her the right way.

"Mm." She hummed. Kakashi was just glad that they weren't expecting ninjas and instead a weak murderer. However, it was going to take forever for them to reach their destination if things progressed like they were. Hours. Better for him to get her situated in town, let her rest and take care of what he could for her while she was sleeping. She was too tired to argue with him - clearly. She probably wouldn't even remember anything. So, Kakashi did the only thing that made sense at the moment. He scooped her up.

She grunted and weakly tried to escape but it was useless and pointless. She was far too tired to do anything.

"'Kashi~!" She complained, glowering at him through her hazy gaze.

"Go to sleep." He ordered.

"No…. greml'ns…." She muttered. She was absolutely incoherent! Kakashi shouldn't have been as amused as he was. She should have actually slept the night prior.

"Is that so? What about them?" He asked.

"N-no baths for greml'ins." She said.

"Okay. I'll do my best." He agreed.

"'Kay." She murmured, seeming appeased. Her eyes closed. He hoped she fell sleep but she hadn't. "'Kashi, I c'n-I c'n… ahmm good."

"Well, if you're good you can get up." He reasoned. He knew she couldn't.

"Dun.. dun wanna… made of warm." She carried on.

"I'm made of warm?" Kakashi asked lightly.

"Mm." She hummed, leaning against him, breathing in deep. He hadn't quite expected her to do that. It was kind of cute to see her like that. The guard she usually kept up was gone, even if she was a babbling mess.

"'Kashi, your eye is pretty." She told him. He tried not to react. He could feel the blush rising up from his neck, and he tried to play it off. Neither of his eyes were pretty. But if he had to pick one, the one he was gifted was more intricate - more unique. She must have been talking about that.

"I'm glad you like the sharingan." He said drily.

"Yours. Pretty - warm coal." She said with a sigh - of course then she fell right asleep. He couldn't question her any more and he couldn't help the blush on his face. She thought his eye was pretty? His eye? He never would have thought. Maybe she - no. Maybe it was just her opinion. He couldn't have hope for this. She was leaving. She was leaving him.

But it was nice - it was nice to think that maybe she did care more about him than she let on. He took off at a quick pace. He'd check into a hotel, leave her to sleep.

It didn't take him any time at all to get to Katamabi.

The clerk did look at him funny, holding a sleeping woman and two bags on his back. but they gave him no problems and he put her to bed. He should have done what she had - taking off her gear so she could rest better. He couldn't. She was far more tactile than he was. It felt too intimate. Far too personal. Like he was crossing a line he wasn't ready to. Kakashi couldn't do that. Not yet. Maybe not even ever. Not with things being as they were. He did pull the blanket up around her to keep her warm. It had been her concern after all.

He left her there with a clone to watch over her. He left for the client to check in and pick up what she had asked for.

"Oh! It's so good you're here - wait, where is the singer? We need her tonight for rehearsals." The manager, Koji, greeted him.

"She's preparing. I'm here for the papers she requested." He said. It wasn't entirely wrong. She needed her rest to be ready to work.

"Weird request if you ask me." The manager muttered, shuffling to find the papers. In short order, Koji handed over the requested documents. It might have been weird, but not that weird. Kakashi knew he could get information from even small events - Tami certainly could with something like this. He thanked the manager before heading back.

Finally, he could read more Icha Icha. He set himself up on the bed opposite from Tami's sleeping form and read. He'd let her get some sleep before waking her up. She'd need it.

He was still re-reading his way through Icha Icha Fantasy.

She slept hard for at least five hours. Kakahi felt bad about it but he needed to wake her up. So he closed his book and headed over to her.

"Tami-chan. Time to wake up." He said. She murmured in her sleep and rolled over.

"Go 'way." She grumbled, tossing her arm over her head.

"But my eye is pretty." He teased. Tami opened her own eye, looking at him groggily.

"What are you even talking about?" She asked. At least she finally made sense. She pushed herself up and looked him right in the eye. Of course she didn't remember. He kind of wished she did. At least then he'd be able to properly tease her. Instead of answering her, he smiled at her.

"Why are you even-" She stopped talking, taking in her surroundings. "Where am I?"

"Someone didn't sleep last night. I had to carry that someone the entire way. With both of our packs." Kakashi sighed regretfully. She turned a cute shade of pink and looked away.

"Sasuke had a nightmare. He - he told me what happened." She said softly, "What his brother did to him."

"The massacre?"

"No - he... " She paused. She would do this from time to time - evaluating if he was ready to hear what she had to say. She didn't often share with him anything about Naruto or Sasuke. "That - that brother of his mentally tortured him, forcing him to witness the death of his family over and over."

Itachi - Itachi did that? That little kid who he led in the Anbu?

I had been stunning to learn he had killed his entire clan, but to know he tortured his little brother? Kakashi turned away.

"You don't usually tell me these things." He said; it was true. It was rare for her to share anything incredibly personal about anyone. He wondered why she would choose to do so. She shrugged and didn't look at him.

"It might just be the shock of knowing someone would be that horrible." She said. Finally she got up and stretched.

"You're going to have to get ready soon. They'll need you for practice soon." Kakashi told her.

"The papers?" She asked. He gestured to the night stand.

Tami hummed and picked them up, flicking through them. He wondered what she had wanted in those papers. What kind of information was she after? Unless he asked - he might never know. However he didn't want to interrupt. It was interesting watching her go through them. She had such a focus, an intensity he'd seen only in Ibiki's work. It was like she was interrogating the papers themselves - the contents. What could she get out of the condition of the corpses, the song playlists they sung and the personality of the women involved.

Tami scowled and smacked the papers down with a curse under her breath.

"What's wrong?"

"He targets weak women. Emotionally distraught ones. Not only does that mean he's especially twisted but-" She glared at the papers as if they were the killer themselves, "It also means I've a part to play. A part I'm not that thrilled to play."

Kakashi hummed. He wouldn't be thrilled with that either.

"Have you looked at this at all?" She asked.

"A little. "

"What did you think?"

"The deaths looked violent." Kakashi said.

"Mm - and they left them face up in the open. He wanted them seen. This one was proud of the work he did. This one - this one is... Kakashi - get him. If I can't, make sure." She said.

It added a new level of trouble to the growing list. He knew she was capable, but there was always a slim chance of something going wrong.

"Just be aware - those knife wounds, they look like they weren't the hands of a klutzy know-nothing." He said. She hummed and picked up her pack where he left it for her and headed right into the bathroom.

She took forever in there. He nearly thought she passed out again. Finally he got up to knock on the door.

"Everything okay in there?" He asked. What was she even doing?

"In a mo'!" She said through the door. In short, it was not a mo'. She was taking her sweet time.

He leaned against the wall, wondering what was taking so long. Maybe she was getting back at him for all the times he showed up late? Maybe. She did like to get even with him.

Finally the door opened and he saw what exactly had taken her forever. It was the first time he'd ever seen her in a dress and real high heels. Her face was all done-up with makeup. He forced himself to look away as she walked out. She could have warned him, at least. He could feel the growing blush behind his mask.

"Well? Shall we?" Tami asked, turning to him. Kakashi turned to her and did his best to control his facial expressions and emotions. Nothing for her to read. Nothing for her to see. She couldn't know how he felt.

She was acting different than he'd ever seen before. She never did stand perfectly straight. She never slouched like he did, although she never held herself like this before. Her hands were carefully by her side and it looked like she had used a henge to hide her scar as well. She walked slower too. He didn't mind that in the slightest. It all was one of her acts. She had quite a few caricatures she used. This one he hadn't seen yet. If he was a betting man, he'd bet she'd used it before - when that album had been created.

Kakashi saw her right to the tavern for practice. He led her to the front and to the manager. Tami charmed them and they began their practice. He found a comfortable spot in the back and settled in. Although he had his book out, he found it more interesting watching them.

They were going over sets and music choices. Tami was in the back going through vocal warmups, her pineapple juice nearby. He hadn't even known that was a thing but she was going through them. Most of the terminology they used went over his head but it was good she knew what was going on. Had it not been for her short hair, it was easy to see she was the Canary from the poster. She was, in short, beautiful.

He returned to his book wanting to dive back in. She would be fine - she was safe for now. The killer would at least wait for her performance. She was more than safe now.

By the time practice was over, the rules had changed. Kakashi had hoped to keep her close but - they had other ideas. They had a setup for her, a place for her to sleep alone. Kakashi didn't like it - more variables he couldn't control. He was about to voice his disapproval when Tami stepped in.

"It's fine. If you're around all too often, it'll look off. This needs to seem legit." She told him. She was right but he didn't like it.

"Pakkun is staying with you." He told her quietly.

"Mm - fair." She whispered back.

He saw her to her new room, sending a clone for her things. There were costumes all over. Dresses and jewelry. He imagined it was a girl's paradise. It even had a large ornate vanity for her to do her makeup, as well as a bed in the corner. There was even a folding dressing screen in the back corner. And backdoor he'd have to seal so no one could just come and go like they wanted. She heaved a deep sigh before dropping herself into the chair in front of the vanity.

She leaned back, breathing in slowly.

"Well - you're the Diva this time." Kakashi said. She chuckled at him, a small smile playing on her face.

"I'm not looking forward to this. Methinks you're a better Diva than I." She said, peeking at him; her eyes were absolutely shining at him. That emerald gaze.

"I guess that is true." He commented, rubbing his chin in thought. It earned him another laugh from her. His clone arrived with her things and she smiled at him again.

"Thanks, Kakashi - for everything. You didn't have to." She said. He shrugged. Maybe. But he wanted to and they were a team. He had to look out for her.

He got up and nodded to the bed.

"Go ahead and get some sleep. I'm going to put some seals up, check the perimeter." He said and went about his work. When he returned she was fast asleep. He summoned both Pakkun and Guruko to keep an eye on her. Out of all his Ninken these were the two that liked her the most. They would keep her safe. It was late when he finally left.

For the next two days they practiced before her debut. The days they practiced, Tami hadn't at all seemed tired but that night she finally performed live in front of the public - he could see her wariness. He and his clones were a part of the crowd. One of them stood above on the beams. He was incognito, hiding so that no one would suspect who he was and why they were there.

Her melody was more sorrowful than the record he listened to. Haunting. She was beautiful on the stage, dressed elegantly. It was nice to see her that way, but he preferred her as she usually was; playful, happy and generally teasing him. At the end of the night he dispersed his clones - only to find that the one in the rafters had been watching her wistfully all night. That didn't help him in the slightest.

He followed her to the room and slipped in quietly.

"Hey boss." Pakkun greeted. Guruko smiled at him from the bed.

Tami had already made herself home on the chair, trying to relax.

"Anything?" She asked, her gaze flicking up to meet his.

"Not yet." He answered.

"Mmm… I do so supposed it's far too soon to hope this is over." She sighed. Her hand went up to worry the back of her neck.

Without asking, Kakashi stepped behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. She jumped and turned to look at him curiously- her mouth askew. She looked so innocent.

"You're the diva this time." He said. She scoffed, but didn't argue. He guided her to recline more in the chair. It was probably time for him to make up all the times she gave him a massage. He tried not to seek them out often, but it was a hard thing not to. The woman he cared for was willing to hand them out- for him. He would have been a fool to not enjoy it while it lasted. Or, maybe it made him the bigger fool for seeking them out, knowing she was leaving. It was one of those things he wouldn't know which was worse until it was too late.

So, Kakashi worked on massaging out the kinks in the shoulders. She sighed in relief, her head tossed back.

"You're really good at this." Tami murmured.

"I try." He replied.

"Are you bad at anything?" She asked, peeking up at him.

"Tact, or so I'm told." He said. He earned a smile for that one.

"That hardly seems fair." She said. Her hand went to his. That wasn't fair. That, and he couldn't continue his work.

"Well, I can't sing either." Kakashi told her. She smiled up at him even brighter.

"Singing is more like an athletic sport. Anyone can, if properly taught. It's controlling your breath, and treating yourself as an instrument. A tool." She intertwined their fingers. Did she even know what she was doing? Did she? He had to know.

"Tami-chan, I can't give you a massage if you hold my hand." He said lightly. She blushed and apologized under her breath and she snatched her hand away so fast he missed it's warmth. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything. She didn't realize she was holding his hand? She now wasn't looking up at him in the eye. Instead her gaze was fixed to her lap. Kakashi continued his work. He pondered that to himself. She didn't know.

"Thank you." She murmured when he was done. He hummed and sat on the bed with Pakkun and Guruko. One of them was smiling at him encouragingly - and it wasn't his Pug.

"How long do you think until he attacks?" Kakashi asked

"A week? Two? Maybe? I don't know. It depends. What do you think?" She asked him; she sounded like she trusted his opinion more.

"Less, I think. You have a higher profile, singing what we know he prefers. He won't wait." He said. Tami nodded in agreement. She went over to the folding dressing screen, walked behind it.

"Tami, you shouldn't-" he said in a strain. He forced his gaze away, feeling the pressure build in his face and neck. Pakkun was staring at him unimpressed.

"It's fine. I trust you. You aren't going to do anything, you can't see anything and I'm not staying in this costume any longer." She said in a firm tone. "I apologise if I'm making you uncomfortable but I thought by this point-"

She thought by this point he wouldn't care? Why wouldn't he? She was a pretty woman. On that alone it would bug him. But the fact- the fact that he wanted more?

He sighed and focused on the other side of the room. At least he couldn't hear anything. That would have made it worse. She was getting better at being silent - far more stealthy.

"I'm sorry. I won't again. It's just-" she said when she came out. Her transformation had dropped and she was in her pajamas. It was far closer to her normal self than the dressed up version on stage. It was a welcome sight.

"It's okay, just - please don't." Kakashi told her. She turned red.

"Right." She said, fiddling with her hair.

He sighed, and went to stand before her. For the briefest moment, he reached out and grabbed her by the shoulders. He couldn't help himself. He wanted her close; safe.

"Go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow. Pakkun and Guruko will keep you safe." He told her. She gave him a look.

"I am a big girl. I can win should things turn sour." She said playfully.

"I know." He forced himself away and to the job regulated for him and him alone. Perimeter checks and being nosy. After he left he could hear the trio talking to each other. He wished he could be there but he had a job to do. Somewhere else he was staying.

For the next three nights it was the same thing, over and over. Her singing, her sad songs and his perimeter checks. It wasn't every night he gave her a massage.

Sometimes they talked.

But, he could see her act was wearing her down. Part of him wanted to take it away, but - he couldn't. They were on mission. She was on task. She was doing well, even if she was getting worn down.

He should have known that when the festival set up and came Tami would want to take part. Maybe he should have fought her on it, but he just didn't have it in him to.

"Come." I tugged his arm. I was still in costume and still tired but I could hear all the merriment outside. I needed to be out! Having some fun!

"Why?" Kakashi asked.

"Why not? It's not like anything will go wrong. If you're so concerned about being recognized - transform." I told him.

"What if I don't want to?" He asked, but there was a playful glint in his eye.

"Kakashi, you straddle the grave far too often. Come. I can at least make this side of it more appealing." I said, tugging on his arm.

He watched me seriously for a long moment before allowing me to pull him out the door to the fun. I hooked my arm through his and we started our walk through. While I knew he wasn't much for being touched, I couldn't help myself.

It was beautiful! There were lights everywhere, venders galore, games, street foods - everything.

We mostly walked around, admiring the services. Well, I was. He seemed to be off in his own little world. That wouldn't do. I couldn't just have fun alone. He should partake in some, after all!

Kakashi had been sweet since the mission started. He was worrying over me like a Hen - it was rather cute. I wondered if… if his team would get the same treatment. If he would then turn to worrying over them.

Probably.

I would be out of his hair by then.

It was a somber thought.

Rather than jumping into one of the games that were clearly geared towards children, I thought to instead fix to problems at once. I bought two ikayaki (grilled squid on a stick did sound fascinating) and pretended to hand one to him. The moment he went to reach for it I took a bite.

"Oh? You thought this was yours?" I teased. He blinked at me and then gave an eye smile.

"I did. Thanks." He said.

Thanks?

That little sneak stole the other ikayaki and had already taken a bite from it! Oh the cheek! Mind, it was for him, but how did he know? I sighed playfully, and bumped his shoulder.

He was a little more present now, thankfully.

"I will say this is very different from what I'm used to." I muttered. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye.

"You're not used to this?" He asked.

I floundered. I forgot myself. I forgot how quick he was; how perceptive.

"The food - it's very different." I explained.

"You remembered something." He said, surprise coloring his voice. His eye though, he didn't seem happy.

"Nothing much. Just food. Apparently I came from a land of sandwiches and teas." I said lightly, looking at the ground.

"It's better than nothing. Do you think you're from a county far from here? Did it look similar?" He questioned. I turned away. I couldn't answer; didn't want to.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said, "not right now."

I could hear Kakashi sigh. He took my finished stick as well as his and threw them in a nearby trash can.

"We can talk about it later, then." He relented.

Hopefully never. I didn't want to. It brought up things I didn't quite want to face yet.

That was when I saw it. A flower vendor. The edelweiss. Such a curious flower to be here of all places. Out of place, like me. But it's meaning - it's meaning for someone far different. Devotion, strength, courage and the ability to grow through harsh conditions. It nearly even matched his hair.

"Pardon me." I said. I barely knew what I was doing, but before long I had the paid for flower in hand. We were off the beaten path, almost alone.

"This… this is for you." I said. His eyebrow raised at me and I grinned. Of course he wouldn't understand.

"Edelweiss are known for growing in harsh conditions, on mountain tops. They're a sign of courage, devotion and strength." I told him softly. I gently slipped the stem right between his green vest and jacket. The star-shaped bloom rested right above the zipper. "Men would wear them; for luck. It's not an easy flower to come by. Rare."

I looked up at him. Kakashi was close - so very close. He was studying me with an intensity I'd never seen before. His visible eye looked like burning coals in a campfire. I could feel one of his hands gently holding my side, the other was coming up slowly to his face. My breathing was shallow. Was he coming closer? Was I? I didn't know what was going over me when-

We both jerked, someone had bumped into us.

"Oh, sorry!" They called.

I turned bright red.

What did I just do?

I turned to him and he only sent me an eye smile. The burning look he had a minute ago was long gone, hidden away. Maybe I imagined it all? I pushed it from my mind. I knew him well enough to know it wasn't a topic to bring up - I certainly didn't want to talk about it either.

"I should get you back." He said. I agreed. We both left the festivities, heading back to my room. Only the flower in his vest was evidence to the events of the night. He saw me to the door but no further. I went in and leaned against a wall. I had to - if not I will surely fall over.

We nearly - I almost - kissed. I hadn't even thought. That I - that we could…

My heart squeezed.

It was only then I could finally read the signs that had dotted my journey with him.

I was in love with him.

Probably for a lot longer than I cared to admit.

When had it even happened?

How?

He was so maddening!

How did it turn from me practically hating him to this?! I remembered the words I spoke to the Hokage - how I'd never fall for a man like Kakashi. What a liar I was. I fell so deeply I hadn't even known. Certainly I made my choices for him along the way but I didn't know this was the end result. I wouldn't have made those choices had I've known. I had been so preoccupied thinking about going home I didn't even see the signs. Couldn't even notice them. They flew by as years passed and now….

Now, both he and Uncle had my heart. No matter what I did, part of me would break. I had to think. I had to do what my namesake said.

"Where do you think you're going?" Pakkun asked.

"For a walk." I slipped off my heels and walked out barefoot. I had a couple kunai. I should be fine.

Kakashi was still burning. She was going to kiss him. Or was he going to kiss her? He wanted to. Desperately. But he wanted to for a long time. Was this a new development? Was it just him? Maybe he was seeing things. But she did give him a flower. Maybe it was something she did - giving people flowers. He couldn't have hope. If he had hope, he'd - he wouldn't be able to let her go. He would be keeping her from her loved ones. The family she belonged to. It wasn't right. She was getting back her memories. Soon enough the answers would come. She would leave.

But if Tami chose him? Even though?

He slipped out the flower she gave him. It wasn't pretty like most he had seen. Nothing like the bouquet Obito had once gotten for Rin. It wasn't even elegant like the ones Tami had gotten for his father's grave. The flower she gave him was fuzzy - white/grey and in a star shaped pattern.

Kakashi had to find out her feelings for him. If she left and he found out after it would rip apart what heart he had left. His hope would be shattered. He would find out.

He was in the process of tucking the flower she gave him into Icha Icha Fantasy when Guruko arrived.

"Tami left for a walk. She hasn't come back. Pakkun is tracking her." Guruko said. Kakashi frowned and took off, his ninken at his heels.

He heard her before he saw her. Locked in battle with a seasoned ninja from the looks of it, although no headband. Tami didn't have any of her gear, only two kunai, and she was barefoot. Simple Kunoichi was correct! Hadn't the woman any sense?!

Pakkun was already on the scene, his teeth dug deep in the attacker's calve. When she tried to use her Canary Call (when he heard it) the man started choking her to stop the onslaught. Kakashi threw a series of well placed kunai - which hit wood. Replacement technique.

Great.

Guruko leapt forward and had found the attacker. Between the three of them they were able to take care of the man once and for all.

Tami was still on the ground, breathing hard.

"Don't you have any sense?" Kakashi began.

She didn't move.

"You could have died." He continued. "How are you supposed to get back home, if you're dead?"

Her head snapped up and she stared back at him coldly.

"Truly, I planned it. Obviously wanted it, hadn't I? It couldn't be my mind was elsewhere!" She croaked.

"You haven't made stupid choices like this before! Were you even thinking?" He carried on angrily. He couldn't help it. She knew better than this! She had to have! He was just so angry with her. She was so capable -why was she so off now?!

"Clearly I wasn't, luv." She said, pushing herself up.

Kakashi froze. She hadn't called him that in - in a year? At least? He barely even noticed then, but now.

"What did you call me?" He asked. She turned her face away. She went to leave but he stopped her.

"Tami." He called.

"I'm sorry I scared you. I was stupid. I just wanted a walk. Considering… considering the circumstances I-" Her eyes darted to his and away again, "it was stupid. No excuse."

Kakashi understood a little - what happened between them didn't just shake him up. It shook her. While he wanted to know her thoughts, her feelings - she'd have to sort that out first. Did she even know how she felt?

"This is going in my report." He said finally. It had to. They were both a little foolish.

"Good. I'll make note as well." She said. She still wouldn't look at him.

He walked her back. She wouldn't even turn his way. It reminded him of something in the past between them. The shoe was on the other foot now. She would have to make decisions. The selfish part of him wanted to help those decisions but he wouldn't. She would find out; she would hate him for it. It had to be her choice.

However, he might sprinkle in some incentive. After all it wasn't like this was their last mission. There wasn't a team yet that beat his test. He'd have another year to charm her. And, of course, weed out any ridiculous choices she made.

He loved her.

It was selfish to want to keep her, but if she wanted him too? He didn't see anything wrong with that.

"Was that the killer?" Kakashi asked quietly when they reached the door.

"Yes. He- he was upset. He saw us at the festival when we, when I-" Tami cut herself off and continued to stare at the ground. Her voice still sounded rough. "That's what happened to the others. They had someone. Made him bitter.'

"Go rest. I'll clean this up. At least we're done here." He said.

The following days were a blur. They reported the completion of the mission. The Hokage had a knowing look in his eye as he evaluated them both.

"Kakashi, splendid job as usual. Tami, however - your actions were foolish but it did draw out the killer. Next time ensure that you have sufficient gear with you - even under cover." The Hokage reminded her.

She grimanced but gave no attitude. She stood there silent.

Kakashi had hoped that the next time he saw her he could earn back the look in her eye. She used to regard him with such respect, with faith. Now, she was keeping him distant.

He was surprised when she showed up on his doorstep that night. He tried to invite her in but she refused. She stood there holding herself. Was she still upset?

No.

It was something else as he later found out.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked softly.

He froze - tell her what exactly? How he felt about her? Why would he when-

"You knew this entire time and didn't…." Finally she locked gazes with him and scowled.

Uhoh.

What did he do?

"You knew why people hated Naruto. You knew! And instead of telling me-" She stepped forward, glaring up at him.

"It was forbidden." He replied.

She wouldn't like that. She didn't. He could see it in her face.

"Forbidden. Of course. You didn't have to talk to a twelve year old about why the entire village thinks he's a monster! How he's some beast!" She snapped. "You know don't you? You know who his parents are."

Kakashi maneuvered to hide Minato's photo on his mantle behind him.

"It was put in place for his safety." He insisted.

"He has a right to know, Kakashi!" She said.

"Not at the expense of his own life." He started firmly.

She turned to look away from him once more.

"If I knew something about your father, mother even and I purposely withheld that… you'd…." She glanced at him.

"Be grateful you thought about my safety first before giving information that could potentially kill me." He answered smoothly. The right answer. She didn't know. She couldn't know. She backed away.

"Tami." He called. She paused for only a moment.

"I'll come find you for the next mission." He said. She glanced back but left quickly after.

"Whatever you say, luv." She said.

Why had she looked so sad?

An/: so, I'm bawling. Both of them made some really bad choices (mostly Tami; when she gets emotional…. D:) but they don't hate each other (I hope that's clear). Kakashi knew the entire time, and did the right ninja-thing to do and never said a word.

So, now canon has started and things are going to start happening. Her choices will get harder and she'll have to come to a final decision. Poor girl ;)

I'm hoping you guys like this. I wasn't totally sold on the Iruka scene, but I was sure he'd have a little bit of puppy love. Nothing serious.

Thank you too everyone who reviewed, followed and favorited. You guys are amazing and I love you all :3