Author's note: Don't know why I made this chapter so short, but the next will be longer again.

Chapter 2

When Steve awoke the next morning Catherine was already up, sitting on the sofa, TV on, but muted, reading a book.

Steve took a shower, put some fresh clothes on and joined her in the "living room".

"Hey", she said with a smile on her face.

"Hey," he answered with a serious expression, sitting down next to her.

They sat in silence for a few minutes and while it was comforting yesterday, it feels awkward today.

"Steve", "Catherine", they started at the same time.

"You first", she said.

"About yesterday…I'm sorry. I…was"

"Stop." Catherine interrupted.

"Catherine…"

"No! Just stop right there. There is nothing NOTHING you have to be sorry about, okay?" He was looked down on the floor. "Hey, look at me." When Steve didn't react right away, she came a little closer and lifted his chin with her index finger to make him look into her eyes.

The sadness she saw in his eyes made her cringe.

"Look, Steven, most of your life wasn't easy and you've been through even more these past two years and now your best friend almost died. How would you think a reaction to that should look like? Pretending nothing had happened? Smiling and showing everyone how happy you are? That you are "fine"? You think you are weak? No, Steven J. McGarrett, you are not. You are just human like everyone else and it is your damn right to be upset, sad, tired and exhausted. And I know I added a lot to all that. And I am truly sorry. I also know that you feel guilty for every single friend or family member that got hurt or killed."

The whole time Catherine had spoken Steve hadn't broken eye-contact, but now he averted his gaze. But Catherine just grabbed him – although gently – by his chin and moved his head back to its previous position and she could now see his eyes being all wet again.

"But you are not, okay? Okay?" He didn't answer so she continued: "When Billy got shot, I was on edge, barely noticing what I was doing and well on the way to ruining my sanity. But you Steve, you brought me back to my senses telling me that I shouldn't do that to myself, that I had to stop punishing myself, that I needed to stop carrying the weight of that night, needed to stop reimagining the situation in all the ways I could have done something differently. And I stopped. I coped. I turned my life around again. But you have never coped with anything that had happened, because nobody had ever taught you how to do so and you were just busy with the next op, the next case or the next friend or relative in need. Your life always had a purpose, but it never was to do something for yourself. You forgot to take care of yourself. But you were in need too and now is the time to take care of that. Because you have reached your limit. So, don't tell me you are sorry that you are grieving. Just do it! Okay? Please?"

He stared at her for a few seconds then he nodded and whispered: "Okay, okay".

Silence again.

"I'll try. That's why I am here," he said. Another pause, then agitated: "God, I feel so wiped out, sometimes I don't even know how to think straight."

"We'll sort that out – together- okay"?

"Yeah, sure", he answered absent mindedly and not convinced.

"Let's take a break from thinking too much. How about breakfast? See if we can get you a coffee with some butter in it", she said smiling. "Heard it boosts energy and enhances brain function."

"I am starving, actually" Steve answered.