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"A baby" Tauriel whispered. Her chest began to fall and rise faster and faster as her frantic eyes looked at Galadriel. "A baby?"
"Indeed" she answered with a smile that turned into a frown as she felt Tauriel's nerves. "I believed you would have known already but your mind was too occupied to feel the energy you now feel, correct?"
Tauriel nodded and closed her eyes as both her hands now fell down to her stomach and another round of tears came upon her. A sense of protectiveness claimed her. She would never allow harm to come to her and Kili's child. But as soon as the protective instinct left, shock took over. She rose from the bed quickly and she immediately became dizzy.
"How did this happen?" Tauriel asked as she shook her head and a cry escaped her mouth. She kept walking side to side as the images of her and Kili's lovemaking came flashing to her mind. The memories almost burned her skin.
"I do believe you know how this happened dear one" Galadriel then said with a soft glint in her eyes causing Tauriel to blush.
So many emotions dwelled inside of her once again as a smile took over her lips ignoring the burning of her cheeks. Pride, excitement and sadness made their way into her and claimed her thoughts as she rose from the bed. Such a tiny being was making such a big mess of her emotions and body already. It made its presence well known with a radiant energy that still left her speechless. She sat down on the bed once again as she felt dizzy.
"I need to tell him" Tauriel then said, clearing her throat. Her hand did not shy away from her stomach. Her voice was quiet and quivering which went so much against her character.
Tauriel then got up from the bed as Galadriel noted with a raised brow that she could not decide whether to sit or stand.
But Tauriel was so busy with her own mind that was exploding with thought after thought, that she did not notice that she had stood up.
A baby was growing within her. Kili's child was inside of her and if that fact would shock anyone then it certainly left Tauriel gasping for air. And that damn prince needed to know what he had bestowed upon her. She was going to kill him with her own hands if he did not wake up and he was going to hear her. Her thoughts were not making any sense to her as she tried to get up.
"Tauriel" Galadriel called as she grabbed her arm as she took a step forward. Their companions outside were now asking what the problem was.
"We'll be out in a moment. Everything is fine" Galadriel answered as she held Tauriel in her arms.
"I need to see him please. I need to tell him of our babe"
Tauriel was now deeper in distress as she was stuttering over words and her eyes were still in shock. Anger was now in her mind as she could not handle the way Galadriel held her back. With no thought whatsoever she tried to pull her arm from Galadriel's hold but surprisingly it did not budge an inch.
"You cannot see him. Not yet"
Tauriel frowned becoming still as a rock. "He could use this. Perhaps I could give him strength"
Galadriel frowned. "I thought you did not want me to bring return him to the land of the living?"
Tauriel swallowed and immediately gazed at the floor.
"I cannot do this without him" she whispered shaking her head. Her eyes turned to hers. Galadriel could see fear lurking within her green eyes. Her hands cradled her stomach with care as if she could already feel herself holding her baby.
Her gaze hesitated at Tauriel's hands and then rose to meet her fear stricken eyes.
"I can feel the strength you carry. I am certain that you can perserserve without him"
Tauriel's color rushed away from her face and violently shook her head. Her lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears.
"I can't" she hissed with frustration. Her left hand still caressed her stomach that showed absolutely no clue of the little flower blossoming inside.
"Indeed you can" Galadriel soothed. Her voice was soft and it felt like a caress but Tauriel could not be calmed.
"Please" she begged as she walked up to Galadriel, took her hand, and stared up into her eyes. "I beg you my lady. Please bring him back. Please tell me of anything I can do to help"
Galadriel gave her a soft smile. "I will give my best. But child, I must insist, you can persevere alone"
Tauriel closed her eyes causing tears to slide down her cheeks. "He deserves to meet his child. And I can't possibly do this on my own. I'm not strong enough"
Galadriel felt her entire being hurt as she heard the young elf's broken voice. There was so much despair in her, it was loud and thunderous, reaching to the walls of the warm chamber.
Kili will not be successful in returning if Tauriel could not find her own strength. It was crucial that Tauriel understood that.
"You can once again find your strength. Food and shelter will be at your disposal. And I shall try to be successful in bringing them back"
Tauriel gave her a weak smile. "Thank you"
"You are welcome. Now tell me of your wishes. When do you wish to tell others?"
Tauriel's blood ran cold once again as the thought wandered into her mind… she had to tell others of her babe.
"What if… they are angry?" she asked with a glare. "The union of an elf and a dwarf will anger many"
Galadriel sighed as she reached to touch Tauriel's cheek.
"You worry of so much in so little time, young one. Do not give me an answer now and do not fret over everything at once. You need rest, and then eat a proper meal, for yourself and the little being inside of you who depends on your health"
Tauriel gave her a quick nod. Someone else depended on her well being and she would give her child anything it needed to grow peacefully.
"I will rest. You are right" she whispered nodding her head and once again caressing her lower stomach with tentative fingers. "First I must clean the mess I've created"
Tauriel glanced over at the spot where she had emptied the contents of her stomach. But Galadriel stopped her with a small touch at her shoulder.
"Leave it dear. I will clean it up"
Tauriel's cheeks caught the fiery color of shame. She quickly shook her head as she drew back some locks of her hair and brushed them behind her ear.
"Oh please. You do not have to do such a thing my lady"
The almost glowing elf in front of her gave her a silent, quick shake of her head.
"Do not fret. Go to bed and rest" Galadriel ordered with a voice that left no room for discussion. Her voice was still soft but Tauriel knew she could not argue with her.
"Thank you" Tauriel said trying to make her embarrassment go away. The Lady of Light was going to clean up her mess…. If she wasn't with child, she wished she would have disappeared at that very instant.
"You are welcome. Now go on. Try to rest and empty your mind. Inform the group outside that you simply need rest so they do not bombard you with questions"
Tauriel nodded and hesitantly turned towards the door. She looked back one last time as she pulled down the knob and opened the door. They all approached her at once.
"Are you alright?" asked one dwarf.
"Why did you faint?" asked another.
Bilbo seemed to sigh in relief along with others. She was up and walking, perhaps that was a good sign.
Tauriel looked around and tried to smile at the worry they felt for her. "I simply need rest that's all"
But they all still seemed curious so they continued to ask questions.
Gandalf whistled and tried to quiet everyone down. "She needs rest. I will show you to a warm chamber Tauriel"
She gave him a thankful nod and smile as he started to walk down the hallway. The chatter of the dwarves died down as she followed him. The wizard did not talk much which she was thankful for. Honestly, she was so tired she could not follow conversations.
"Aha. Here we are" Gandalf murmured to himself as he stopped in front of a door. "We are staying at a chamber five doors down, so if you are in need of assistance, please do not hesitate to ask"
Tauriel looked at the door, five spaces down, and gave him a nod.
"Thank you for your hospitality" she said giving the wizard a small smile. He noticed that it finally reached her eyes. They lighted up with a soft color that was not as strong, but it was beginning to flicker.
"Since the first moment I met Kili I knew he was a reckless one" Gandalf began. Tauriel swallowed weakly at the mention of her lover's name. She smiled regardless of the ache it caused her heart to hear the one name that can make her cry and laugh at the same time.
"Reckless indeed" the wizard continued as he pointed at Tauriel's stomach. Her eyes widened. Of course he knew!
"Do not worry. I won't tell anyone" he quickly said as he noticed her shocked and nervous expression.
"I am not surprised you know" she whispered.
He chuckled as he reached to lightly tap Tauriel's shoulder. "I'm also not surprised Kili fell for you. There is so much in common between the two of you. I hope he can return to you"
Tauriel took a deep breath.
"I'm scared to hope such a thing"
Gandalf frowned and shook his head. "Do not be. There is great power at our aid"
She hesitated to find peace with his words. Hope was a dangerous thing and Tauriel could not allow it into her once again. The wizard in front of her gave her a sympathetic smile as if he knew what she was thinking.
"Try to rest" he finally said. He knew it was futile to try and give her hope when she looked so tired. She was with child and even though he was no expert he knew rest was important especially after suffering great wounds which to his eye looked like they were healing well.
"I will" she affirmed and she turned to enter the chamber.
"I will bring you some food in a few hours" he then said.
Tauriel shook her head. "Do not bother. I do not want to be a burden now"
The wizard shook his head and gave her a soft but stern look. "You are far from a burden. You saved Kili so many times and you carry an heir to Erebor, a Son of Durin. You deserve the best care"
"Thank you" she said trying hard to not swallow hard at the mention of such titles her unborn child already carried.
"You are a kind soul Tauriel. You deserve to be taken care of for once"
Tauriel smiled, a smile that was warm and genuine. Gandalf looked pleased to finally see a bright smile take over. He tilted his hat in respect and walked away.
She stood there for a few seconds as she watched the wizard walk away. She finally opened the door and entered into the cozy chamber. A chimney was lit. The fire at its hearth welcomed her in with a caress of warmth and light. Shadows danced about in the room as they fought for the soft glows of various candles that were set upon wooden shelves on the walls. A large bed was in the middle of the room which headframe touched the wall.
Tauriel spotted a small table and a chair as she walked around. It was a relatively small chamber but she was thankful she was not accommodated in a large area where loneliness would have more room to roam.
"Its cozy" she said to herself as she sat at the foot of the bed which directly faced the hearth. She took a deep breath as she reached down to take off her boots. She also removed her belt and her daggers. Next to come off was her corset and then top tunic. What remained was a thinner tunic underneath and a cotton brassiere.
But her eyes could not linger away from looking at her stomach. Finally, after a few minutes, her curiosity got the best of her. She removed the thin tunic and her naked skin came into view.
With tentative fingers she touched her lower abdomen as she closed her eyes. It was quite unbelievable knowing she was with child. That fact was taking awhile to be fully grasped.
"Hello little one" she whispered as tears streamed down her cheeks in complete oblivion. Through her tears she managed to smile. She was content even though she was devastated, she was relieved to feel a flicker of warmth run throughout her body.
"I don't feel alone anymore now that I know you are here" she then said as she wiped her cheeks dry. She moved up towards the pillows on the bed and snuck under the warm covers. She turned to her side and removed the blankets so she could once again look at her stomach which was something she did not want to stop doing.
Tauriel sniffed and smiled as more tears ran their course. "I discovered your existence a few minutes ago but I already love you" she whispered as she tapped her fingers lightly at her skin just below her bellybutton.
"He will return to us" she assured, both to herself and to the little being residing within her.
Hope could maybe roar to life again. Maybe, just maybe, she could allow herself to imagine what it would be like to hear Kili's voice again. And that thought, along with the image of a small baby in her arms, lulled her to sleep.
Notes- Thank you for reading!
Poor Tauriel ._. Soooo many emotions! She is an ex captain of the guard, but she can also be an emotional wreck! And that is well justified! Stay tuned for more :)
She is already speaking with the baby *-*