Chapter 16

The night started quiet with everyone going to bed around 10 p.m. They had a nice dinner and sat outside as long as possible. The day had been hot, but around 9.30 the temperature has dropped which was good for sleeping, but not so good for sitting outside in shorts and T-shirts.

They slept for about three hours when Steve suddenly sat upright. There hadn't been any sign of distress before that. One moment he was fast asleep, the next he sat in his bed. "No, you bastard! Let him go! I said let him go!"

"Steve," Catherine said. "It's a dream, wake up." He turned his head in the direction of the voice. He could see someone next to him, but his vision was a bit blurry and he couldn't identify the person. In fear of imminent danger, he jumped out of bed and stood with his back against the wall, one arm stretched out. "Back off! Don't touch me! Let him go first! This is between you and me! He has nothing to do with this!"

"Steve," Catherine tried again this time a bit louder. "Whatever you see, it is not here. You are home. You are safe." Danny appeared in the doorway. He didn't know what was going on, he just assumed it was a nightmare, but he had never expected to see Steve out of bed in the corner of the room and looking like an animal caught in a trap. He closed the door, so Eddie wouldn't come in. Catherine signed him to stay where he was and continued to talk to Steve. "It's me, Catherine. You have a nightmare, Steve. There is no danger. We are safe." She repeated it again and again, almost like a mantra. When she finally came through to him, he said "Catherine? Catherine! He has Danny. We have to get him out. He is torturing him. I wanted to trade him against me, but he wouldn't let me. You have to help me."

"Steve. Danny is here. In the house. Nobody is hurting him. We are all safe here."

"No! No, he has him. I saw them."

"Steve. Who has him?"

"Wo Fat. He is torturing him. I am telling you."

"No. It was a dream. Danny is here." She waved him in. "See, there he is. Nothing happened. It is all good."

"Danny? Are you okay? I didn't want him to hurt you. I am so sorry. I never wanted that." He slid down the wall and did nothing but crying. Danny didn't know what to say or do. He just starred at the scene in front of him. 'How can he see things like that and still think it is reality now that he is awake and in his own room? What the hell is happening here?' Catherine crouched before Steve and started to talk to him again. Her voice steady, calm and soothing. He was still crying, but he was not in panic anymore. Catherine dared to touch one of his hands which he withdrew immediately – just like he got stung by a wasp. "Steve? Look at me. I am not an enemy. I am just trying to help you. Can you…can you look at me?" When he did, Catherine asked "Do you know who I am. Can I touch you?"

He needed a moment, but then he nodded and when she touched him this time, he didn't pull away.

"How about we lay down for a moment? Do you think you can do that?" He nodded again. "Danny. I need you to put Steve's blanket on the floor, right behind me." Danny did what he was told, but he felt like he was remotely controlled. Catherine coaxed Steve into getting away from the wall and onto the blanket. Just like in Jersey his body started to tremble and Catherine was thankful they didn't have to move back to the bed right now. She helped Steve to lay down, still talking in a calming voice. "Danny? I need the other blanket and a pillow." He got the items and hold them out to her. She took the pillow and put it under Steve's head while Danny spread the blanket over his body. Steve let everything happen. He was still trembling and his breathing was labored, his right hand was clawing the blanket underneath him. Catherine took the upper blanket and tucked him in, then lay down too and put her arm around him. She continued to talk to him, using a soothing and calm voice again. He calmed down step by step and after twenty minutes exhaustion took him and he finally fell asleep. Another five minutes later his muscles relaxed and he was in a deep sleep. Catherine kissed his cheek and said "I'll be back in a few minutes." She knew he couldn't hear her, but she needed that for herself. She told Danny she needed something cold to drink and opened the door. Eddie came running in, jumped on the bed and looked a little dumbfounded when his master wasn't on it. Then he saw him on the ground. He couldn't understand what had happened, but he lay down next to him and whined a few times. Danny and Catherine both went downstairs. Danny asked "Can we just leave him there like that? What if he wakes again?"

She took a coke out of the fridge and offered Danny one too. "He won't. He usually sleeps for a few hours without moving too much after this."

"Usually? What do you mean?"

"It wasn't the first time Danny and I am afraid it won't be the last. He had one last week too. It wasn't this bad, but the outcome was the same. At least he is going to sleep for a few hours now. And I will let him stay in bed as long as he wants tomorrow. He will need the rest. We just have "Jacobsen" and a massage on the list anyway. I am going upstairs again. Are you good?"

"No, not really. I can't believe what just happened. I was totally petrified. I am glad you knew what to do. And now I know why. I don't want to see that again Catherine."

"I don't want that either Danny and I think Steve shares our opinion. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, not yet, but I think I don't want to be alone right now. Can I take Steve's bed as long as he sleeps on the floor?"

"You can have mine. I need his when he is ready to go back there. Don't forget your blankets and the pillow."

Danny, still a little shocked, went into his room to get the items while Catherine took the woolen blankets from the couch. They both went upstairs together, Danny making himself comfortable on Catherine's side of the bed, Catherine laying down next to Steve, putting an arm around him again. Eddie licked her hand and whined one more time. "I know," Catherine said and patted his head. Then she kissed Steve's cheek again and told him "hey, sailor, I am back."

Three hours later Steve softly moaned in his sleep, but didn't wake. Eddie crawled a bit closer and licked his hand while Catherine caressed his cheek and murmured "Shhh, it's okay." He stopped moaning, but thankfully he also stayed asleep. Another one and a half hour later he started to stir. Catherine loosened her hold just enough for him to move, but she was ready to tighten it again if he would try to get away from her. Their faces were just a few inches apart when he opened his eyes and looked directly into hers. He still looked a little dazed, but at least he recognized her straightaway and didn't struggle like last time. "Hey," he said.

"Hey, yourself. You think you are up to getting to bed again?"

"Hmm, no. Head hurts," he mumbled.

"Okay. I get you a Tylenol and some water."

When she came back, he had his eyes closed again, but she noticed that he wasn't asleep yet.

"Here the water and two Tylenols. The way you look one might not be enough."

"I can swallow them dry."

"No, I want you to drink that water. All of it. This isn't debatable. You need some fluids too."

"'kay." He took the pills and swallowed them with some water and emptied the rest of the bottle as well.

Then he put his head back down on the pillow and two minutes later he was asleep again.

The next time he woke up, it was already getting bright outside. Catherine helped him to get up and back into his bed. He hadn't even noticed Danny who was still on Catherine's side of the bed.

He was feeling cold and she put one of the two woolen blankets on top of his usual cover, tucking him in again. Danny got up as soon as Steve had closed his eyes again and mouthed to Catherine "Coffee?" She shook her head and whispered back "First I need to make sure that he is good again. But I think I'll be down in thirty minutes." Catherine then took her own blanket from the floor and went to bed as well.

Thirty minutes later she joined Danny in the kitchen. "He is fast asleep again. I think it will take him a few more hours to be fit enough to get up. This really takes a toll on his whole body."

"Yeah, I can imagine that. What I saw tonight was really scary. Don't know how this must feel for him. And I think we should think about medication after all. Getting one of these dreams every week can't be good Catherine. Or we have to change our type of negotiation. I think the whole talking about kidnapping, torture and Wo Fat triggered this. We should at least try to get a counseling interview somewhere. I can ask my psychologist if you like – or you can ask your friend, of course."

"You are seeing a psychologist?"

"Yes. Ever since Grace got kidnapped. I couldn't handle that. I didn't stop after I've been finally able to deal with it, because I actually felt that it had helped. And there were and always will be situations where I need to talk to an outsider. Especially if you work with someone like Steve."

"This is something I can imagine." She smiled at Danny. "He can tick you off pretty good from time to time, especially when he is determined to do something."

"You can say that."

"But you love him anyway." She smiled at him again.

"Yeah, just like you. I mean in the beginning I hated him. And his hiring was more like a kidnapping, but he is a nice guy after all. I don't trust anyone more to have my back or to keep my kids safe…How did you end up with him?"

"I don't know. How does love happen Danny? I liked him from the start. And he was different than most of the other guys. He was equally nice to everyone. Black, Asian, gays, women. And that was kind of rare at the time. Can't tell you when it turned into more, but I love him for a long time now. I dated a few other after we broke up, but none of them came even close to Steve. It took me a lot of time to realize that he is the love of my life."

"Then why did you leave? Especially after I've asked you not to. You've hurt him a lot."

"I know and I am sorry for that."

"Tell that to Steve."

"I already did." She explained everything to Danny too. When she had finished, he said "If Steve is okay with that, I think I am too. Still don't understand you guys though. Maybe because I've never been a soldier. And after hearing all this I think I don't want to be. You've sacrificed a lot."

"Yes, we did. But we swore an oath. It's not like they forced us to do that."

They talked about of other stuff for some time and totally lost track of time. They were surprised when Steve appeared at the top of the stairs and slowly made his way down. "Hey, there. How's your head?"

"Better, thank you," he said and sat down on the couch next to Catherine. "Look guys," he said after a few seconds. "I need to talk to you…"

"If this is about apologizing, forget it. We don't want to hear that. There is no need for that," Danny interrupted.

"No, no. It is not that. I don't even know what exactly happened last night. All I know is that I am hurting all over. I feel totally burnt out and headaches increase in amount and severity. And…and I can't go on like this. You guys are great and I appreciate what you've done so far, but…I know I didn't want this…but…I really think I need some more help. I think I need a shrink after all. I thought it would work without one and without any meds, but I think I was wrong. Yesterday, I thought I was making progress and I felt really good after our talk, but after tonight…I…I just feel totally spent and I think I am at the end of my tether.

But I will still need your support, if you still want…I mean…after everything."

Of course, they wanted. After some more talking they decided to talk to Danny's psychologist first, because he practiced in town. Danny called him right away, but since he had a patient the receptionist told Danny Dr. Jensen would call him back as soon as he was finished with the morning appointments. That meant they had some time on their hands and prepared a late breakfast.

As promised the psychologist called back around 1.30 pm. Danny explained everything to him and the doctor agreed to see Steve the same evening after he was done with all his other patients.