The next morning, in his Harvey Specter typical confidence, he walks in like he owns the place and is happily greeted by Donna. Every time he comes up the elevator, he is always looking forward for two things. First, his name on the wall, and second, her. They walk together in their typical power walk fashion and he should not be looking can't but can't help but see that her dark dress will certainly haunt his thoughts for the entire day, with that cleavage... He thinks to himself, yeah, I am really going to enjoy and dominate this day.
« It's good to have you back, Harvey. », she smiles.
« Good to be back, Donna. Alright, enough sentimentality, I need you to... »
He is interrupted by Donna who explains that she has cleared his calendar and transferred clients to other partners. Of course, she did. It's not even 9 in the morning, how did she manage to do all that, he thinks to himself. A feeling of relief and complete gratitude fills him, he wonders how he managed the past few months without her. That woman is just awesome.
« I didn't ask you to do that. » he says.
« No, you asked me to come back to your desk. » she replies as an evidence.
He turns to look at her eyes and gives her a proud and sincere smile « I sure as hell did. »
Donna still has Harvey's confessions from last night fresh in mind, they actually rise back to the surface every fifteen minutes or so ever since she woke up. On her way back home yesterday in the cab looking outside at the New York lights passing by, she had replayed the conversations that they just had, mostly what he had said and how it made her feel... As she closed her eyes to reminisce, her body instantly relaxed as she remembered the feeling of him holding her, his smell, his warmth, and all that while he was being so open and gentle. She could not keep her pale skin from blushing and a spark had invaded her.
But she's seeing someone now, and she knows that this is not fair to Mitchell, he is a nice guy and even though they have not been together for long, he is a good fit for her and she could fall in love with him, eventually. She is ashamed to even think of another man right now, but this is Harvey and deep down she believes -okay hopes- that maybe one day he will be ready for more. From what he has expressed last night, Donna can sense that he has changed for the best. She's glad to be back to working together like Bonnie and Clyde, and mostly she is glad to spend more time with him as his assistant and as his friend.
A few hours later she is taken into questioning and like Superman, he does not think twice and runs to her rescue. He tells Mike « I'm going to take care of her. You do what we were going to do together. »
As he sees her, he takes the time to discretely scan her face, it feels like some walls have been broken and that he is now somehow allowed. He takes a glimpse at her perfect silky skin and pink lips, and at the same time he also sees in her eyes that she is worried about her father. He does not waste time to let her know with confidence that he is going to take care of it no matter what. They stare and speak without words like they often do for what seem like minutes, but it's actually just seconds. When he puts on his armor like that, Donna freezes and can't help herself from admiring how smart and confident he is, and whenever she is in trouble personally, he always makes her feel like everything's going to be okay. When they look at each other like that it's almost like they are looking into each other's soul and it's feels almost dizzy. She has never had such a connection with anyone. It makes her want it over and over.
This adoration comes to a halt when it turns out that Harvey had not told her everything about what went on with his father's deal.
« What the hell happened seven years ago? » she shouts.
« I told your father if he took your money, I'd pull everything I have to shut his deal down. »
Shocked, she opens her mouth, taking a step back « You had no right. »
« I don't care if I had the right to do it or not. I wasn't gonna let you lose everything. »
She is so upset that he'd gone behind her back like this, especially because this could potentially cause her to have to make a choice between the two most important men in her life. She's disappointed, this ruins all the recent efforts to be back to being friends. All the nice confessions he made recently seem to have lost all meaning.
Harvey is speechless as he comes to the same realization. He truly messed this up, so bad that he does not see how he can make it right again anytime soon. He thinks that he'll never be worthy of her. It's going to take a miracle for their relationship to climb back to where it was finally.
Thanks to Mike, they exchange their motion to dismiss his case for Gibbs dropping the charges against Jim. Hope comes back. He did what he said he would and she is relieved.
« Thank you, Harvey. »
He is glad to hear her say that she's grateful but his eyes are actually showing sadness and shame.
Donna continues « And I am sorry for what I said. »
She should not be the one to apologize, she got hurt in the process and he hates himself for causing her unnecessary stress and hurting their relationship.
He says softly « No. You were right to say it. I never should have put you in this position, Donna. »
Defeated, he has a hard time looking at her in the eyes as he adds « If you want to go back to work for Louis, I'll understand. »
Donna tilts her head a little, admiring how cute he looks when he is vulnerable and she thinks that he really has changed after all, a few months back he would have never shown such a soft an understanding side. She can read from his eyes how much this temporary setback in their relationship has affected him, and that he is fully aware that he messed up. She's quick to reassure him that she is by his side to stay.
When he gets home, Harveys pours himself a drink; he'll need a few to rest his hyperactive mind and sleep tonight. As he stares at the New York skyline he can't help to sigh sharply when thinking about how his actions always end up hurting Donna.
As the pressure on Mike increases, Mike involves Scottie and it truly destabilizes Harvey. Seeing her in his office, upset, strong minded... the hurt that she expressed when saying that he had chosen Mike over her... he thinks to himself, will I ever stop hurting the women around me?
He did love her, he was not necessarily in love with her but still loved her, loves her. After she confronted him, he feels the panic settle, his vision gets blurry and he has to hold on to his chair, close his eyes and regulate his breathing.
But then, Donna comes in, and his defense mechanism kicks in and he transfers his anger on to Donna, finding any reason to snap at her and even letting her know in the process that Scottie is « someone I love ».
Donna is seeing this guy anyway, Maxwell or Darrel, whatever, he thinks.
The damage is done, so he might as well try to fix one thing, so he texts Scottie.
Scottie has always been attracted to him, he has always been attracted to her, their physical connection is somewhat intense. Their relationship has always been made of ups and downs for sure, but he just needs to clear the air. He's nervous about opening up about him being the real reason behind their break-up. But as he sees her, he's suddenly at peace. She's feminine, pretty and delicate, yet strong and so smart and they have a connection and maybe there is still something there that a quick conversation can fix.
He confesses that their relationship did not end because of Mike but because of deeper work that he had to do within himself in therapy to be ready for a serious relationship.
« And why does it matter that I know that? » she says softly, truly intrigued by his openness.
« Because if I ever get out of this thing in one piece... I wanna know if it's okay to call you again. » his voice breaks as he fights tears from falling. He had kept the true feelings of how this break up had affected him inside, so the emotions of letting it out surprise him.
He's nervous for her reaction.
Walking towards him, she's can't help but to be honest with him « Harvey, it's always okay to call me. »
Definitely she was not expecting the emotionally unavailable Harvey Specter to be so open with her tonight, especially not expecting to discuss the reasons why their relationship failed miserably. It's emotional for her as well, she loved him and her heart was shattered, she needs to walk away, but not before being hopeful « I do hope that you get out of this thing in one piece. »
She nods a few times while holding his gaze without saying more, but her eyes are screaming Of course Harvey I love you and I'll always wait for you.
She walks away just in time to prevent him from seeing the tears that are threatening to fall.
Harvey watches her walk away, but then he sees that she left her jacket and handbag and shouts « Scottie, wait! »
She comes back, and he notices her glossy eyes and his lips go into a thin line while he gives her back her belongings. He shakes his head a few times, then holds her gaze - it feels like he is trying to get into her soul - and he holds her wrist, then slowly and delicately moves his hand up her arm until it rests on her shoulder. He then leans in towards her, very slowly to give her the chance to stop him. It feels like the right thing to do, the easy fix and his body moves by itself, but he sees that she is speechless, so he explains:
« I am so sorry for hurting you, Scottie. You know how I feel about you. » She is taken back to the words he had said when they broke up - I want to stop lying to the people I love.
He continues, almost in a whisper « I am not promising anything tonight, but I can't be in bad terms with you, Scottie. Seeing how much I have hurt you, it's breaking me. »
His lips flirt with hers as he waits for her to make the next move. She
closes her eyes, and is seeing stars as she passionately deepens the kiss.
They get lost in the moment until Mike comes in, distracted because reading a paper out loud to Harvey, when he sees them and shouts: « Oh shit! I am sorry for interrupting... Leaving now...»
« Damn it, Mike. » Harvey throws out.
He turns back to Scottie, and he can see from her expression that she obviously is not okay with this anymore as she raises her hands up like she is giving up and takes a step back « Sorry Harvey, you're... I can't, I just can't... »
A/N Don't hate me for what just happened here Darvey fans, it's necessary for the story! Oh, and sorry I apologize if my grammar is wrong, my first language is French, but I hope that it does not affect the reading too much (hopefully you could not tell ;)