Chapter 26

The night was a mirror of the one before. There was some moaning, mumbling and restlessness on Steve's side, but in comparison to the few last weeks it was more or less a peaceful night. That meant that Steve felt a bit more rested than usual and he was motivated to do some swimming and running. Catherine joined him on his swim, but declined the run. He returned sixty minutes later, soaked in sweat, short of breath and totally spent. He went for a shower and joined his two friends in the kitchen to drink some coffee.

"You look a little beat. Did Catherine challenge you so you have to put your all into winning? Or did you even lose? Or did you…"

"Hope you have fun. It's already hot like a furnace outside. You can try to run in that weather yourself and see how you look then."

"See that is why I don't run at all. There is no point in fighting hard for nothing. I like to take it easy and speed things up later. Makes much more sense than losing all your energy before breakfast."

"That's what you think. But now I know the reason why I had to chase the suspects every time. You hadn't reached your "speed-up-time"."

"No, that is not true. I've told you before someone had to do the brainwork and I couldn't do everything. That's why I let you chase the bad guys. And the other reason was that I didn't want to ruin my clothes. Cargo pants are made for this kind of work – it is just normal that they get dirty and look worn."

"Yeah, very funny. Just admit that temperatures above 65° F are too hot for you to move faster than walking pace."

"So what? I still had to do the brain work so it was only just and equitable that you did the running part."

"I am faster than you anyway. No need to delay the arrests needlessly just because you had to run after them for miles instead of catching them after a few yards."

"Anyone interested in breakfast?" Catherine interrupted before Danny could answer anything.

They both looked at her like they had noticed her for the first time and then said in unison "I am."

They prepared everything together and ate in the living room. Since Steve had already done some sports and the only other item on the agenda was the massage, they all had some time on their hands.

"I want to drive to the mall today. Does anyone of you need anything?"

"Yes, but I want to buy that myself. Do you want to stay long? If not, we can drive together."

"Define long for me Danny. I mean I want to visit a few stores and I that will take more than an hour for sure."

"No problem. I can live with three, but if you need more I better drive on my own."

"I guess three is okay. I should be done by then. You want to come with us?" She looked at Steve.

"No, thanks. I am not exactly a mall guy. Hope you two have some fun though."

"Actually, I want to buy something for Charlie. He wants to come over at the weekend – if that is okay for you of course."

"Of course, it is. You know I love your kids. And this is your home too Danny. You don't have to ask me for permission."

"Okay. I just thought…you know because you don't want to see anyone of the team and…"

"That is different and you know it. If you want to invite them you can do that too, but I won't join you then. But your kids Danny? No matter if it is Charlie or Grace, they are always welcome, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks. And I won't meet with anyone of the team here. Don't worry."

"Thanks. I appreciate that. What do you want to buy for Charlie?"

"He likes to play soccer – just like Gracie - and I want to buy him a good ball and maybe a cool jersey."

"Soccer? Didn't expect that. Is he good?"

"He made it into the school team, so I think yes. And he wants to join a club and I want to support him. It is a good thing."

"Yes, of course."

"That sounds great Danny. What are your plans for today Steve?"

"I want to spend some time with Eddie. I had planned to go for a little hike, but I it is too hot for that. I think we will play a bit in the water and do some cuddling inside. Don't think he will be happy if he is in the sun for too long."

"Okay. Have some fun. I would like to drive in the next hour. Is that okay for you, Danny?"

"I am ready when you are. The earlier we drive the earlier we are back. What do we want to eat today?"

"If it stays that hot, I am good with a steak or a salad or both. Nothing big."

"I agree with you. Danny and I can bring some meat, ingredients for the salad are still in the fridge."

Half an hour later they both left while Steve called Eddie and went to the ocean to play with him.

Both Danny and Catherine were already done after two hours. Catherine wanted to go back to their car, but Danny asked "Would you mind joining me for a coffee? I buy.

"Yeah, sure. We have plenty of time left, so Steve won't be worried when we are not coming home yet."

After they had ordered, Catherine asked "something on your mind you want to talk to me about?"

"Actually, yes. How are you doing?"

"You asked me that? I am fine. You are the one who is recovering from a series of injuries after a car accident, torture and a gunshot wound. So, how are you doing?"

"I am good. No pain anymore and I can walk normal again. Nonetheless I am happy that you have driven the car today not our crazy super SEAL friend. Otherwise I feel really good. Now, would you mind answering my question too?"

"I am good."

"Now I know why you and Steve suit each other. But I am fine or I am good or I am okay is not what I wanted to hear. I know you are not hurting physically, but I know that what is happening to Steve isn't easy for you either. But you are the only person who is not seeing a psychologist or talking to another person about all this. And it is a heavy load you have put on your shoulders. I just want to be sure you can carry it."

"You only told me about your physical state of health either. How was I supposed to know that you meant something different?

You are right it isn't easy for me to see him like that, but I am not alone, because you are there too – and I want to know how you feel in all this as well, but let me answer your question first. Again: it isn't easy and we are still at the beginning, so I think it might get even worse, but I am convinced that we have a good plan a good team and the most important thing a "patient" who wants the help and tries to work with us. And the other important part is that I love him and I would do anything for him. I have hurt him enough, now is the time to help him. And I talk to my grandmother from time to time. She isn't a psychologist, but I can talk to her about everything – always had by the way. Now, how about you?"

"Good to know you have someone. I feel the same. It is hard, but I think we have a good plan. If I can relieve you of something just tell me. I mean you are doing PT, Jacobsen, massage and talking. And you are even joining him on sports from time to time. All I am doing is talking to him."

"You are there for him Danny that is what counts not how many items of the agenda you are doing. And you are cooking a lot."

"Okay. I just wanted to offer more help."

"You can take over Jacobsen if you want. It is easy to learn and that way it might help you too."

"Forgot I've asked. I really can't relate to that."

"I know what you mean. It feels awkward and even ridiculous in the beginning, but if you do it on a regular basis it is really useful. When I started with it I did it every day not only when I felt stressed - for almost two years. Now it is helping me in the most stressful situations as well as preventing them. If you do that kind of exercise it can even help you to get calm before you get really worked up."

"No. No, I think I stick with the cooking part then. Maybe I can join him when he does sports – except for the swimming part though – next week. I think I'll feel good enough then to get myself back into shape as well."

"That is a good idea. And Danny…whatever you think. You are a good friend to Steve and I have to thank you for being there for him when I wasn't – when I even hurt him myself. I am glad he had you by his side. Don't worry about not doing enough now, you've already done your part over the last few years."

"He is a good friend to me too. He was by my side on a few occasions as well. And I don't want to offend you, but I hope you stay to your word this time and won't leave him again. It would destroy him this time."

"I won't leave Danny. I promise. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I hope he wants too."

"He wants, believe me. He dated a few times, but nothing came out of it. I think he had the same problem as you. Nothing compared to you. He loves you - I know that. And after everything that had happened…and you still coming together again, I think you two are either stupid enough to think this time will be different or you are really meant for each other. I hope it is the latter and I wish you two all the best. You both deserve it."

"Thank you, Danny."

When they returned, they found Eddie in the living room, lying on the couch, but no sign of Steve. Since his Silverado was still standing outside, Catherine went upstairs and found him asleep in his bed covered with just a thin sheet. She went down again and joined Danny in the kitchen. "He is taking a nap."

"Good. I think I am going to do that too. I just wanted to put everything into the fridge. Since it doesn't look like there is some rain coming in the evening, I thought we can grill the steaks instead of frying them in the pan. What do you think?"

"I think it is a good idea. If Steve doesn't want to do it, one of us can do the grilling part."

"Great. Okay, I am done now. I am going to have my nap now. What about you?"

"I think I will continue to read my book before I forget what it is about."

"If I am not up in an hour and a half, would you mind waking me up again. Otherwise I can't sleep at night."

"Sure, no problem. Sleep tight."

An hour later, Steve came down the stairs. Seeing Catherine on the couch made him smile. She looked up and said "Hey, how was your nap?"

"Pretty good. I feel rested. How was your trip to the mall? Did you get everything you wanted?"

"Yes, I did and Danny too. Pretty sure he is going to show you later."

"Where is he?"

"Taking a nap as well. But he asked me to wake him in about thirty minutes. We thought about grilling the steaks. Do you want to do it or should one of us do it?"

"I can do."

They had a great evening with fun and laughter before everyone went to bed. Tomorrow Steve would return to Dr. Jensen and they all hoped it would end better than last time.

Despite the massage he got it wasn't a good night for Steve. If it was the nervousness because he would return to Dr. Jensen or the usual uneasiness wasn't exactly distinguishable, but Steve was very restless during the night, he was tossing and turning, woke up almost every hour and had difficulties to return to sleep afterwards. He went downstairs several times to drink something or to get some fresh air, but it didn't help him in any way. When he finally decided to get up for good, he didn't feel rested at all. He had wanted to start the day with a swim and a run again, but he just felt too feeble to do so.

He even struggled through the PT session with Catherine although she kept it light knowing that he hadn't slept well. He was in a bad mood, but he didn't want to take out his anger on his friends again. Instead he went to the basement to hit the bag. He was furious and frustrated and hit it with much more force than necessary. When he was done his just healed knuckles were raw, his wrist hurt again, he was soaked in sweat and totally exhausted. Without changing his clothes or taking a shower he lay on the couch and fell asleep right away. One and a half hour before his appointment with Dr. Jensen Catherine woke him up again. He was disoriented at first, but after he was fully awake the memory came back.

"What time is it?"

"It's 1500. I thought you'd like to take a shower before you go to Dr. Jensen."

"Yeah, thank you."

He stood up, showered and put some fresh clothes on. After drinking a bottle of water and eating a sandwich Danny had prepared for him, he was good to go.

As usual they arrived early and Steve had to wait a few minutes before the psychologist opened the door to call him in.