Chapter 28

When they got outside, Steve closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"Hey, buddy, you okay?"

"Yeah, I just don't know what had happened in there. I calmed myself after I heard the first question and I think the interview went pretty well. I mean I had some trouble answering from time to time, but I was far from losing it again. But after we had gone into that other room everything changed. And I have no clue why."

"It's okay. I know that feeling. But you did good and you've got it over with."

"Yeah, but I am totally drained."

"Then get into the car. Let us drive home."

Steve tried to stay awake, but after about two-third of the way he lost the battle. He didn't even stir when Danny hit two potholes, he had seen too late. When they arrived at the house, Danny tried to wake him up and although he even shook his friend's shoulder he didn't succeed. He got out of the car and rounded it. He then carefully opened the door on Steve's side, mindful of his partner's head still resting on the side window. He carefully pushed the head away until it was on the headrest before he leaned into the vehicle and adjusted the back rest until Steve's body was in a lying position. He even stretched out the sleeping man's legs, but Steve showed absolutely no reaction. Danny went into the house and grabbed a blanket from the couch.

"Hey what took you so long?" Catherine asked from the kitchen.

"I'll explain in a minute," he answered and went outside again. He draped the blanket over Steve, left the door ajar and went back into the house. Catherine stood in the doorway to the kitchen and asked "What's up? Where is Steve?"

"In the car. And before you asked, he is asleep. I tried to wake him, but it wasn't possible. I decided to let him sleep for a while and then try again."

"What happened? Did he say anything?"

"Nothing happened. He did good, but it took a lot out of him, especially after he had barely slept last night."

He then told Catherine what Dr. Jensen had said and wanted.

"God Danny. I mean he said it before and I knew, but hearing it to be confirmed makes it even more real. How did Steve take it?"

"I am not even sure if he could comprehend what Dr. Jensen had told us. He was kind of on edge and wanted nothing more than an end to everything. We should talk to him again when he is awake. Maybe even not before tomorrow."

"I agree with you. We just have to make sure he eats and drinks properly this evening. He didn't have much today."

Steve woke up two hours after they had come home. He was disoriented and noticing he was in Danny's car in front of his house didn't make it any better. He closed his eyes again and tried to figure out what had happened. Last thing he knew was that they had left Dr. Jensen's office. He couldn't even remember getting into the car. 'Must have done it though. Then I probably fell asleep on the way. Why didn't Danny wake me when we arrived? Maybe he wanted to let me sleep…in the car? Never…I don't know. How about you get up and find out?'

He left the car and went into the house. Danny and Catherine sat on the couch each one with an iced tea and a book. TV was running, but none of them payed attention.

"Hey look who is back from dreamland," Danny said.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"I tried. Never thought a Navy SEAL could sleep like that. Always thought…"

"Maybe that's because I had to stop being one after my liver got shot into pieces. Not to mention getting diagnosed with PTSD. They don't enlist people like that," Steve snapped. "I think I am going to sleep again – in a real bed."

"Don't you dare!" Catherine shouted when he reached the first step of the stairs.

Both men flinched at the volume and the sharpness of her voice. Steve stopped dead in his track and slowly turned around again.

"What?" he challenged.

"I said don't you dare! I know you have a hard time at the moment I know today was an even harder day and you barely slept last night. But Danny did nothing wrong. He had helped you in any way he could and he didn't mean to hurt your feelings – he was just trying to lighten the situation and your mood with your usual bickering and you know it. He is still trying to treat you normal. There is no reason to snap like this! AND you agreed to eat and drink properly -EVERY DAY. So, before you even think of going upstairs you go into the kitchen and drink a bottle of water."

"You want to tell me what I have to do and what I don't?" he yelled at her.

"Yes, I do. Because if you don't take care of yourself, I have to. Best thing is you put some ice into your drink to cool yourself down. When you are done you can either heat the leftovers from yesterday or wait another twenty minutes for the ragout to be ready. Then we can eat together. Your choice. But you will do both of it and you will drink at least another half a bottle of water after your dinner – whatever it will be. Are we clear!?"

Danny didn't dare to say anything or to move in any way. He was barely breathing.

Steve just stood and stared, too stunned to say anything. But after a few seconds something clicked and brought him back to reality.

"Yes, ma'am," he said and went into the kitchen. He took a bottle of water out of the fridge and went outside. He sat in one of the chairs, opened the bottle and downed it.

'Why am I doing this? They are both trying to help me and I do nothing but to offend them. Why? Why? WHY?' He got upset again, stood and while screaming with frustration he threw the empty bottle away. He then felt the cold water coming back up and vomited on the grass in front of him.

Inside Danny had started to breathe again, but he was still not able to say anything. Just like Steve before he just stared at Catherine.

"What?" she asked.

"Where did that come from?"

"I don't know. It just came out. But we agreed on something here and it only works if both sides are working together. I know the talk-sessions are important and I know they cost him a lot of energy – probably some he didn't have anymore - but at the moment sleep, hydration and proper meals are essential for him. If he goes to sleep after dinner it is okay for me, but he has to eat and drink first …he just has to," she repeated in a desperate voice. "I am sorry Danny. I am just worried about him. More than ever at the moment. I thought we were on a good way with everything."

"We are." He stood up. "Come here." He spread his arms and when Catherine had stood up too, he embraced her and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

"Everything will be fine. We'll get him through this. There will always be setbacks, but everything will be fine. I know it."

She tightened her hug for a moment before she let go "Thank you, Danny. I needed that."

"How about that ragout? I am starving."

"Should be ready. Let's see if we are two or three people at the table." They both went into the kitchen to get the dishes and the ragout. The exact moment they entered the kitchen Steve came through the back door. They all looked at each other for a moment before Steve said "I am sorry. I really am. I…I don't know why I am doing this all the time. I know I am sorry is not even close to make amends for what I just did, but I…I don't know what else to say - or do."

"Did you drink the water like I've told you to do?"

"Yeah…sort of."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I drank it, but I brought it back up, because I downed it and it was too cold for that."

"Okay, take another one now and empty it during dinner. Eat with us and I accept your apology."

"Danny?"

"I'll go with Catherine."

"Thank you. Both of you."

They ate in silence. Steve did the dishes afterwards and while Danny and Catherine went outside to sit on the lanai Steve went to bed. Although both of his friends had accepted his apology, he didn't feel comfortable in their presence at the moment. He also felt beat and tired and his muscles and bones hurt like they hadn't done in months. He changed into shorts and a fresh T-shirt and two minutes after his head had hit the pillow, he was already fast asleep.

When Catherine came into the bedroom around midnight, he was still asleep, but she could tell that it hadn't been peaceful all the time. He was lying across the bed, entangled in his sheets and drenched in sweat. And that was when it hit her: they forgot about Triplicam. He was supposed to take it before going to bed, but with everything that had happened today, she hadn't thought of it – until now. It was too late. She thought about waking him up before he was going to have another dream when he started to mumble "'m sorry. I didn't mean to. I am sorry." He started tossing and turning again, his brows furrowed and he said again "I am sorry. No, no, I didn't mean to. Please don't leave me again. I need you. Please, stay with me. No, please. Catherine, please, please, please."

"Steve. Wake up. Come on. I am here. Steve!" He awoke with a start and sat up, but he was disoriented and looked distraught. "Steve. It's fine. It was a dream. I am here." She sat beside him and touched his arm. "Do you hear me Steve? I am here. It was a dream. Everything is okay." He slowly came back to awareness.

"Catherine?"

"Yeah, it's me. You had a bad dream. But it is fine now."

"You are still here?"

"I am. And I ever will be. I promised you, remember?"

"Yeah, I do. I am glad it was just a dream. Can you pinch me, so I'll know it is over?"

"I can do better than that." She leaned forward and kissed him deeply. When they finally parted, he said "that felt very real. I think I am awake now. And I can still see you. That means you are still here."

"I am. Let's go to sleep." Steve went to the bathroom first to clean himself up and to change his clothes. When he returned, they both lay down on their sides of the bed when Catherine sat up again.

"Before you go back to sleep: You have to take your medication."

"I did."

"Oh, okay. Then have a good night now. And remember I am not going anywhere."

There didn't come a reply – Steve was already out again. Catherine closed the gap between them and put her arms around his midriff. Five minutes later she was asleep as well.