Chapter 32

Despite what they had expected everyone slept well – even if it was a short night.

When Catherine drove to the hospital Danny and Charlie were still asleep. She left a note that she would call as soon as she would know anything.

When she arrived, she stopped at the nurse's station to notify them that she was there.

"Good morning, Lieutenant Rollins. Thank you for telling us. We've been informed that you were coming. You can go to the commander's room."

"How is he doing?"

"His vitals are very good. Last time we checked he was still asleep – like he has been the whole night. We don't know about his mental condition though. We have to wait until he wakes up."

"Thank you."

She went to the last room on the right side and exactly like the night nurse had said, Steve was still fast asleep. His features looked relaxed and he had his color back. If Catherine hadn't known better, she'd say he was just taking a nap. She carried the chair to his bed again and sat down, but didn't touch him. She didn't want to disturb his sleep in any way. It looked like a "healing" sleep and she wanted him to get as much as he could get. Ten minutes later the nurse came in checked his vitals and wrote the numbers in his chart. "He is still doing good. I assume he didn't wake up since you are here?"

"No, not yet."

"It is not unusual for people to sleep that long after a traumatic experience like that especially if they were exhausted before that. We are having change of shift now. When we are done a different nurse will come in and have a look. If he wakes up before that and feels good and appears "normal" you can wait till then. If you feel like there is something "off" or if he is in any kind of stress, please press the call button."

"Okay, I will. Thank you."

He didn't wake before another two hours though. When he did, he recognized Catherine immediately, but was confused nonetheless.

"What happened? Why am I in a hospital?" That was when he noticed that his hand was bandaged and that he couldn't bend his fingers. He looked questioningly at Catherine.

"You don't remember?"

"No, if I would remember, I wouldn't ask you what had happened."
"That is true." She took his uninjured hand in one of hers. "You had a flashback, yesterday. A bad one. You weren't exactly aware what was happening around you and you crushed a glass that you were holding and didn't let go of it."

He nodded and closed his eyes.

"Hey, Steve. Are you good or do you need a nurse?"

He opened them again. "No, I am good…I think…and I think I remember. It was about Danny, right? Is he hurt or was it really just a flashback?"

"It was a flashback. He is fine and at home."

"Good…Did…did Charlie see any of this?"

"Yes, he did. But not too much. Danny sent him outside to play with Eddie. He is with Danny now."

"This is so…I thought it couldn't get much worse after the breakdowns and the nightmares. But I was wrong. Did…did one of you talked to Dr. Jensen yet?"

"No. I thought we can call him when you are at home again."

"'kay. What's the damage with my hand?"

"Deep cuts, a few stitches, but thankfully nothing serious."

"Good. Do…do I need to stay here?"

"I don't know. We can ask a nurse what the plan is. She should be in here any minute."

Catherine had hardly finished the sentence when the nurse entered.

"Hello and good morning commander McGarrett. I am nurse Teresa. How are you feeling?"

"I am good."

"No pain? No confusion? No dizziness or anything other which doesn't feel right?"

"Hand hurts a little, but it is manageable. I am good otherwise."

"How bad is the pain? Scale from 1-10?"

"Hmm…about six?"

"Okay, I will give you something in a minute. Let me check your vitals first."

When she was done, she wrote the results in his chart as usual. After that she administered some pain reliever and said "Your vitals are looking good. I am going to inform Dr. Taylor - our ward physician. He will come by soon to discuss everything with you."

"Thank you."

Dr. Taylor introduced himself, had a look at Steve's vitals and his chart before he asked "Do you know what happened?"

"Yes...I had a flashback."

"About?"

"My best friend getting hurt."

"Do you really know it was a flashback or do you just know, because your friend here told you?"

"I know it. When I came into the kitchen my friend was smiling and his son was laughing. it was totally different than the real incident, but seeing him covered in red...I felt exactly like back then. And then I was unable to do anything at all and I don't know what happened after that."

"Did you have a flashback like that before?"

"No."

"Your file says you are in treatment for PTSD - a Dr. Jensen - and you are taking Triplicam. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Since when are you consulting him and since when do you take the medicine?"

"About a month for the doctor and I don't know, I think a week and a half - we had to try out a few before we found one that works."

"Can you work with that psychologist or do do want to change?"

"I can work with him. Why do you ask that?"

"Because usually I would like to consult one of our psychologists..."

"No, I don't want that."

"...but since you are still in the early stages of treatment I will desist from it - if you promise to contact yours as soon as possible and if you grant me the permit to send our report to him right away."

"You can do that. I just want to go home."

"Not so fast commander."

"You can't keep me here."

"Actually, I can...but I don't really want that. You can go home after I have checked you over and you have signed the permit and if the check-over is to my satisfaction. You also promise to contact Dt. Jensen and to do nothing straining the next two days. And you need someone to be with you the next 48 hours."

"I am. And his best friend is too."

"Okay, that is good. Then you have to promise me that you will bring him back here right away if he shows any signs of going back into that flashback or shortage of breath, any change in the pulse rate or anything else that is unusual for him."

"Yes, we will do that. I am going to sign that too if you need it."

"Very good. Usually I would like to keep him here a little longer, but it looks like this would be much more stress for him and since he is lucid and alert I think it is better to let him go. Then let's start with the check."

It was a quiet drive back to the house. When they arrived, it changed. Just like the first time Steve had come home, Eddie came running tail wagging and barking out of the house, followed by Charlie who shouted "Uncle Steve!" and threw himself into said uncle's arms. "I've missed you."

"I was gone for just a few hours. How could you have already missed me?"

"It was almost a DAY and I love you."

Steve chuckled "A DAY? That is indeed a long time. And I love you too. Thank you for saying that."

"It's the truth. Can we go swimming again today?"

"I…I don't think so. I am sorry, but I am not feeling that good today and…"

"That is okay. Danno said you had found him last time he had got hurt and yesterday you thought it had happened again. If it had been me, I would have been very sad and I would have cried. I hate it to see Danno hurt too. I am glad it was just juice."

"Me too. Come on let's go inside."

Steve stopped on the way in – in front of Danny. He wanted to say that he was sorry, but he knew Danny didn't want to hear it, but he didn't know what else to say, so he just stood there and looked at him. He finally made a step forward and just hugged Danny, happy that nothing had happened, happy that he still had him and happy that he was in his life. And that was what he eventually told Danny.

"I am so glad it was just in my imagination. I am thankful that you are still here. Thank you for being in my life and such a great friend. I love you."

"I love you too." Danny tightened the hug and they patted each other on their backs. "I am sorry. I didn't want that to happen. I didn't mean to scare you like that."

"I didn't mean to scare you either. I am sorry too. I think we are even then." Steve said with a sad smile.

After they had parted, they walked through the house and out on the lanai. Charlie was cuddling with Eddie and Catherine was already sitting at the table when Steve and Danny joined her. The group was silent for a few minutes when Steve asked "Is Charlie okay? Catherine said he hasn't seen much, but…you know…it can be traumatic."

"Don't worry about him. I've sent him out as soon as I realized what was going on. He knew something was happening and actually listened to me. He distracted himself with Eddie. I explained it afterwards as best as I could for him. He slept well und didn't have any bad dreams. He asked when you are going to come back or if we could visit you though. When Catherine called and told us you would be home again today, he got really excited and couldn't wait for you to arrive. I think it was good for him to see you "unharmed" and on your feet. I had to tell Rachel though – just in case. I am sorry."

"No, it is okay. She should know. If something is going to happen, she needs to know why and what it was about. It's Charlie's welfare we are talking about here. I can live with that."

"I am glad you are saying this. Thank you. I also talked to Dr. Jensen and he said…"

"Danny?" Catherine asked while Steve just looked questioningly at her after he had heard the name.

"Okay, sorry. I talked to him, because I needed help. I've told you I am talking to him when something significant happens - and I think yesterday afternoon fell in that category - to get me through it. After I explained what had happened he gave me some advice – which helped a lot by the way - and after that he told me that you can call him if you want to talk – even on a Sunday – or leave a message if you want to take one of the two "emergency spots" he holds on Monday. The first one is at 8 am the second on 2 pm."

Steve thought for a moment before he said "I think tomorrow is a good thing. That means…if we can cancel our "appointment", Catherine. I can't take two on one day."

"Of course. Without question."

When Steve returned from making his call, Danny said "I had asked Charlie what he wants to eat today and he wanted lasagna. I hope you don't mind to have it again."

"No problem. If it is as delicious as last time…"

"I hope so. We thought we could eat a little earlier, like about 4 to 5 pm, because I assume you haven't had much at the hospital – or at least nothing you've liked - and you want to go to sleep a little earlier."

"Perfect. Actually, I am starving."

"Okay, I've prepared everything. I'll put it in the oven right now. How about you take care of Charlie until it is ready. He'd love to be around you."

Although Steve lacked the energy to do so he said yes and asked Charlie if he wanted to fetch with Eddie. What a question. They enjoyed their time - Charlie and Eddie playing around, Steve watching them - until the food was ready. Everyone enjoyed the "dinner" not only because Steve wasn't the only one who was hungry, but because it was just delicious. It was an old Williams-Family recipe – on special occasions. Steve wanted to do the washing up and Charlie volunteered to help again, but both Catherine and Danny, had noticed that Steve could barely keep his eyes open and they also had concerns about his hand, so Catherine suggested to give Steve a swift and gentle massage before he went to bed and leave the dishes for tomorrow. They all agreed and Steve fell asleep shortly after the massage. The rest of the household enjoyed the late evening before they went to bed as well. Thankfully Steve was too tired and exhausted to have any nightmares. So for once it was a quiet night for everyone.