He stares at her.

He's not said anything in the last ten minutes.

Her mood for the last twenty four hours had been questionable. He'd not called her on it. Had asked her if everything was ok because her phone had been ringing off the hook for the most part of the day. He'd caught the last part of her conversation with Julian. Had come to realise that there was some form of work crisis going on. Had not expected her revelation that the tour was off.

"Why?"

She jumps at his one word. Looks up from her phone. It's buzzing again. It's Julian. She ignores it. "What?"

"Why?" He repeats.

They're both sat on the bed. She swings her legs off the side. Her back suddenly to him.

"It's just not working-"

"I've seen the figures. You've sold out more tour dates in the last few weeks than ever before and Ravens even reentered the charts yesterday. If that isn't the definition of a success I don't know what is"

She blinks.

"Surely cancelling it now is going to cause more chaos. You're gonna have a load of unhappy fans-"

"We'll do the next two dates but that's it" She mutters.

He's silent. Watches her. Is sort of surprised she's not gotten up yet and tried to flea. He's sure his next words will have her trying to escape.

"...Did you sleep with him?" He quietly asks.

"What?" Her head swivels round. Predictably she stands.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" He wonders. "I told you I didn't want you going on this tour. I made it more than apparent but you fort me on it and now, after just five weeks you're calling it quits. Did you sleep with him?"

"You were right. I couldn't be away from the kids. I realised I need to be here"

"Bullshit" he dismisses. "What happened to showing our children that you don't give up on shit? Even when it gets hard?" He mimics. "Did you sleep with him?"

"No! Will you stop saying that!"

"But you wanted to" He determines wearily.

"Jake I'm home. I'm here, with you. I'm sorry I went. I'm sorry I didn't listen"

"What did you do?!" He's growing impatient. And contrary to her belief he does actually know her better than she sometimes accuses. Of course he knows her. He's been married to her for thirteen years. Even if she's not much of a confider when it comes to feelings he's come to read her in other ways. He stares at her long and hard. Her silence says a thousand words. "Peyton" He stands.

"...We kissed" She whispers. Her confession has tears welling. She risks glancing at him. She knows this can go one of two ways. Anger or anguish and she's not sure she can handle either.

He licks his lips. His head jerks as he nods curtly.

"That's all. Nothing else" She can see him inventing exactly what happened and she wants to stop him before his mind has him conjuring up the worst. "I swear Jake, that's as far as it went. I stopped it-"

"Well done you" He bitterly snarls. "How lucky I am to have a wife that has the decency to stop herself fucking another Man. How oh so touching-"

"I'm sorry" She cuts off his sarcastic drivel. "I'm so sorry...tell me what to do" He's silent. She doesn't realise it but she's holding her breath. "I'm not going to work with him. I won't-"

"You don't see him full stop! That's what's going to fucking happen here Peyton!" All of his efforts at not loosing it are forgotten. He anticipates her not being so on board with his demand. "No more fucking socialising! He's at a party we're at you stay next to me! You don't go fucking talking to him!" He growls.

"Ok" She yields to his enraged demand. "Ok"

"He's not welcome at the label at all. Not for you and not for any of your artists. He can get a fucking gig anywhere. It doesn't have to be through you"

That one stings. She doesn't fight him on it. She's fort him on it time and time again. She's told him point blank that he doesn't get to rule who she does and doesn't employ. She blinks. She doesn't dare right now.

"Ok"

He's meant to feel triumph at her compliance. She's never conformed to being told what to do before. He's getting what he's always wanted. It's taken thirteen years but she's agreeing that Lucas Scott will not be a part of her life for a moment more. Only her conformity does not feel like a win at all. It feels like the beginning of the end. Because she's admitting her feelings for Lucas Scott, she's acknowledging that she has to stay away from the man in question if she's to remain faithful.

"What...what about Sawyer?'

"What about her?" He barks.

"You told her she could have lessons with him. You can't take that back-"

"I'm not going to! But her seeing him doesn't involve you seeing him!" He's staring at their wedding photo that's stood on the shelf tormenting him. The photo he keeps in his wallet. The photo he's pretty sure she's not glanced at once since the day she said I do. He clumsily shoves it until it falls flat against the wood.

She jumps.

"This is fucking bullshit Peyton. Fuck" He kicks the chest of draws and she winces for him. Two seconds later he's marching away.

"Where're you going?"

"I need to be alone!"

"Jake..."

She grimaces as the door bangs against the wall as he flings it open. Clenches her eyes shut. Hears the front door slam just moments later.

Her phone starts buzzing. Julian.

She inhales sharply. Swallows the lump in the back of her throat. It doesn't help.

"What Julian?" She snaps as she presses her phone to her ear. "You're not gonna be able to talk me round! The tour is done! I told you I can't talk right now...Why?! Because my fucking marriage is falling apart is why!" She catches sight of her daughter loitering in the doorway then and her breath catches. "I...I'll ring you back in a while ok" Her voice lowers. She doesn't wait for a response. Cancels the call. "Babe" She breathes.

The little girl has her thumb in her mouth. A habit her mother knows only comes out when she's nervous.

"Come here honey" Indie slowly edges into the room. Peyton runs her hand through her hair. Sits up straighter. Tugs her youngest daughter to her as soon as she's within reach. "I'm sorry babe. I didn't know you were out there" The eight year old leans on Peyton's shoulder. "How long have you been out there?" She's panicked.

"Are you and Daddy splitting up?"

Long enough Peyton assumes. "No, no honey" She shakes her head. "Mummy and Daddy just had an argument. Grown ups do that sometimes you know that. Just like you argue with your sister. What did you hear?"

Her shoulders rise and fall. "Just shouting. You just said your marriage is falling apart"

"I was being dramatic babe. I just didn't want to talk to Julian right now"

"Daddy's gone"

"He's coming back. He just needed some air"

"Did you do something bad?"

She swallows thickly. Even her kid knows she's the one at fault. "I made Daddy sad" She mutters.

"You should say sorry"

"Yeah. I did honey. And I'll say it again later"

"He'll forgive you"

"Yeah" A tear races down Peyton's cheek at her daughter's observation. She's sure he will. She just knows she doesn't deserve it.

Indie's hand strokes over her mother's face. Wipes the tear away.

"I'm so sorry baby" Peyton whispers. She doesn't do crying. Especially in front of her children.

"Don't cry Mummy"

"I'm being silly. Come here. I need one of your bear hugs"

•••

"Hello?" He didn't expect her to answer. "Luke?"

"I know you're pissed with me still but I need someone to talk to"

"Okay...?" She cautiously answers. "What's up?"

"I know it's late there and you're probably in bed-"

"You can call me anytime. You know that" He's not wrong. She's in bed. Curls onto her side. Her eyes still shut. She listens to his breathing for a few moments. "Luke?"

"I'm sorry I was a dick" He apologises. "I'm sorry I'm only ringing now. I didn't know what to say"

"You just said it. You were a dick. You're forgiven. Always" She easily murmurs. "Now how about you tell me what's wrong?"

"You were right. Okay? You're always fucking right Hales"

"What happened?" She sighs. "Did you fuck her?"

"No. Of course not... She didn't let it get that far"

"You wanted to though" He doesn't answer. "Stupid question Hales" She mutters to herself.

"I can't do this anymore! I can't keep declaring to the whole world that I'm fucking over her. I'm not. I'm not over her. I'm never going to over her am I? I can't be around her. I can't be her friend can I?" He rants.

Haley swallows. Can hear that he's pacing back and forth. "I don't know. Some people can...I think when that happens though it's a different kind of love that those two people shared...I could never be Nate's friend"

"...He wants you to go to the championships by the way. He asked me to ask you" He blurts.

She sits up then. She's very much awake. "What?"

"The Championships. I know you know when it is. Go. He wants you there. He asked me to ask you"

"He did?"

"Yeah" He can hear the smile in her voice. "And after you're going to fucking go to him. You're going to tell him for the hundredth time that you're sorry that you were a dick and that you love him" He suggests. "He misses you Hales" She bites her lip. "...I need to go away don't I?"

"Running away never achieves anything. Trust me. I should know"

"I'm just tormenting myself by being near her all the time"

"You need to cut her loose. No texting her. No calling her just for a chat. No running anytime she says she needs you. You see her, you politely say Hey Peyton, how are you? Nothing more...Does Jake know?"

His shoulders rise and fall. "I doubt it. I think I woulda had a visit from him by now if he did, christ I want a fucking drink right now"

"Luke" Haley breathes into the phone.

"I'm fine Hales" He sighs. "I'm not gonna do anything" She doesn't answer. He can hear shuffling and silently berates himself. He hadn't meant to speak so freely. Knows his confession has just sparked her panic. "You still there?"

"I'm here" She murmurs.

"I didn't mean that. Don't freak out. I'm fine"

"You're not fine. She does this to you Luke. Don't you see how toxic it is?"

"Mm"

"Fuck I wish I was there right now. Let me see if I can get a flight-"

"Absolutely not. It's late here and the middle of the night there. I've just woken you up. You're not flying back here because I don't need you to. You've got a gig tomorrow at that weird venue you love don't you"

"You've been tracking the tour" She notes with a smile then.

"Of course I am stupid"

"I hate it when we don't talk Luke"

"Me too. Let's not do that again"

"I don't mean to tell you what to do when it comes to Peyton I just...it bothers me how much you're hurting"

"I don't mean to judge when it comes to you and Nate. I just wish you guys could get your shit together"

"I love you buddy"

"Love you too Hales" He winces as headlights suddenly shine in his face as a car approaches his house. "You texted Whitey the second I phoned didn't you?" His smile has dwindled. "Haley!"

"You expect me to do nothing? A call that can't wait till morning always suggests that you clearly need someone with you right now"

"You're like a fucking annoying ninja with that phone, you know that?"

"Uhuh. It's called speaker phone Luke. Makes multi-tasking pretty easy...Talk to him"

"Like I have a fucking choice now"

"I'll call you tomorrow. You can pick me up on Saturday and come to the Championships with me too" She decides.

"Okay"

"Bye dickhead"

"Bye"

"Haley?" Whitey asks. He's out of the car and slowly walks up to the porch where Lucas is sat.

"Interfering friend? Yes, that would be her. You didn't need to come Whitey. It's late. You know what Hales is like"

"She's a good friend and very perceptive" The older man nods.

"You didn't need to dash round here like it's a matter of life or death" He knows by Whitey's swift appearance that he'd rushed to get here.

"That's up for debate. Why didn't you call me?"

"Because it's after midnight. You're an old man that needs his rest" He jests.

"An old man that isn't afraid to beat your ass" Whitey reminds him. "Rough night then I take it?" He sits down.

"It was sorta good until it wasn't" he smirks.

Whitey isn't amused. "Am I gonna have to guess what happened or are you gonna start talking?"

Lucas huffs. Knows he's not getting rid of the man beside him until he spills the beans. "She sang our song. The one she's been refusing to sing for weeks"

"I know the one" Whitey nods.

"She was real. For three minutes on stage she was herself. She was honest and fucking beautiful"

"I'm assuming there's more"

"...We kissed. Well I sorta stormed into her dressing room backstage and kissed her"

"Working hard on the letting Peyton go thing then" Whitey eyes him.

"Are you that surprised?"

"Not in the slightest. I know you better than you do Luke. But it doesn't stop me from being hopeful that you'll surprise me. Did you think about Jake at all?"

"Gees has he employed you as his personal advocate or something?" He grumbles.

"You might not like the guy Luke but he's done no wrong here"

"That's a matter of opinion isn't it...It stopped because of Jake you'll be pleased to know"

"Because she stopped it. Because she's married and has a conscience. Because she made vows to be faithful. To Jake...Imagine being in his shoes-"

"I'd never fucking be in Jake's shoes. She doesn't love him!"

"You think she still has feelings for you" Whitey hums.

"I don't think. I fucking know. Everyone knows and he does too! I couldn't be with someone knowing they weren't fully committed to me"

"That's not entirely true. You're not with Peyton, she isn't bound to you in anyway but you've been making do with the parts of her life she's been wiling to share with you for a long time"

"That's different"

"How? She's been married to another man for twelve years Luke and you've not given up hope that you might one day have a life with her in the way you'd like. Jake might very well not be blind to her feelings but him holding onto his marriage vows despite everything is, in a way, no different to what you're doing"

"So you agree she has feelings for me?" He sniggers, earning a glare. "...It's not the same in anyway"

"Why? Because you had her first and you feel like he took her from you?"

"He did!"

"And Peyton didn't have a say in any of it?"

Lucas' nostrils fare. "I know it was ultimately her choice but she was meant to be with me- she was with me one moment and the next" He shakes his head.

"Do you think it's fair to say your view of what happened is slightly skewed given your mental state back then" Lucas presses his hands to his temple. "I watched your relationship with Peyton break down over a series of months Luke. Even after all this time you still talk about it like it happened in just days. Like she was with you and then" He snaps his fingers. "The next married to Jake"

"She wanted to be with me one day and the next she was gone"

"She fort for you time and time again. But there's only so much fighting a person can do before they become exhausted. Jake could offer her what you couldn't. Security, love and tenderness, a life that wouldn't imitate that of her childhood. You know how tough being a kid was for her. Can you blame her for not wanting that again? Not wanting that for her children?"

"I know Jake is the better man Whitey" He bites. "But I got better for her"

"I didn't say Jake is the better man. I'm just saying what I've said time and time again. Peyton's decision isn't as mind boggling as you make out. You have all this anger and resentment but maybe it's time you accepted that you weren't ready to be what she needed back then. You weren't ready to be the man she deserved"

"I do get that. I whole heartedly understand. I'm ready now though! I've spent a decade working on me. On being what she needs"

Whitey nods. "Right. So perhaps you should stop dwelling on the past and blaming other people for time you've lost with Peyton"

"I blame no one but me"

"That's what you say..."

"Is it crazy for me to want a fucking explanation?"

"An explanation"

"Yes. I know her. I know there's more than just me being a fucking mess"

Whitey watches him for a long moment. "...She came to me Luke...I've never told you this because, well quite frankly I'm sure there have been times in the past when you'd have stormed off and never spoken to me again"

"What do you mean she came to you? Came to you when?" He squints. "Whitey?"

"She came to me...shortly after she had you admitted to rehab that last time...Keith had been trying to convince her to end it with you for months. I don't think you know that"

"...No. He wouldn't have done that. He loved Peyton. He loved me-"

"Yes. He loved the both of you and that's why. He wanted you to get better. He needed you to. He didn't mean for forever. He just wanted you to separate with the hope you'd find a reason to fight to get better. He knew she could be that, knew she was the only one that could be that for you...and then well, the accident... after that night" He shakes his head. "She felt like it was her fault. Like she should've listened to Keith, like it could've all been prevented if she'd ended it with you earlier" Lucas's eyes are wide. "And when she came to me. Well, I agreed with Keith, I thought you both needed time apart. I convinced her that it was the right thing to do Luke. In honour of Keith"

"...What?"

"She kept saving you. Keith was right. You had nothing to fight for- you-"

"So you told her to marry another man?!"

"No! No, I just suggested she needed to let you go for a little while, for the both of you. She was a mess. I don't think you realise how fragile she was back then Lucas. You were making her ill too"

"I don't believe this" He rises to his feet.

"I was scared of what would happen to the both of you if you carried on in that cycle. It wasn't healthy"

"You guilted her"

"I don't think so. I helped her get her thoughts in order. I helped her realise that sometimes love involves sacrifice. She saw Keith's life as a sacrifice. She didn't want it to be for nothing, there was no option for her but for you to get better, so loosing Keith would mean something..."

"It still doesn't make sense. She followed his wishes! She ended it under your fucking guidance and then she married him!"

"...Maybe she fell in love"

"Or maybe Peyton being Peyton thought that me being better was determined by her not being with me anymore!" He jumps to his own conclusions. "She's scared that being with me again will result in me falling off the wagon!"

"Lucas-"

"That's what she thinks isn't it?!"

"I don't know what she thinks! I do know that those two children of hers come first. Will always come first-"

"Her staying in a loveless marriage for her kids is bullshit"

"It's when you make observations of that kind that I fail to see how you've changed Luke. You know her children are her world. You know how important it would be for her to make sure her children's childhood wasn't reminiscent of the unstable one she had-"

"She's not her bloody parents Whitey. She's not. Her and Jake are grown ups. They can split up amicably and leave the kids unscathed"

"I don't think you can foresee how anybody will handle a divorce Luke...I can't see Jake being all that amicable if he were loosing his wife to you. Can you?" Lucas pinches the bridge of his nose. "You need to stop seeing her. You can't be her friend. You know you can't"

"...I do know"

"You can't force her to make the decision that you crave. If she's ever going to leave Jake it's going to have to be her choice. She's going to have to get there by herself. That might be next week, in a month, in a year, it might be never, but it's her choice, not yours...If we're lucky… if we're the luckiest people on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back...and if they don't well you do the only thing you can. You treasure every little thing they did give you. If you miss them, that means you're one of the lucky ones. It means you had someone special in your life, someone worth missing, even if it was only for a little while. No one can take that away from you...throw yourself into a new dream Luke. You never know where the next miracle's going to come from. If you believe that it's right around the corner, you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, you never know what or who you might find."