This argument is different to every other argument.

Brooke has taken the girls. They don't have to worry about trying to be quiet.

But the fact that she can scream as loud as she likes right now is lost on her; she's speechless.

"Who told you?" Her eerie silence is unnerving.

He's not denying it. She expected him to deny it. Not denying it is the demise.

And she suddenly can't be quiet for a second longer.

"I asked you straight out weeks ago" She cries. "You lied to my face and then your daughter, your daughter who's been through hell and back over the last few months told me because she thought I deserved to know!"

"Jenny-"

"She saw you in your car with her!"

"Don't make out that I'm the worst father because of this. Are you really that surprised?!-"

"You had the nerve to make me feel like...when you're sleeping with someone else!-"

He sniggers and shakes his head. "I deserve a fucking medal with all the shit you pull"

And now she's irate. "I've never slept with anyone but you throughout our marriage!"

"Yeah right" He snorts. "That's what you say. I'm not stupid Peyton. Don't think I don't know what happens as soon as you get backstage" He knows he's making accusations that he has no grounds too. That he doesn't even believe. Not really. But he's angry and anger has him spouting out words that cast blame at her because at least then he's not the only guilty party.

She shakes her head. "I. Have. Never. Never slept with anyone except you since we said our vows..Is she the first?! Have there been others?" She ponders. "Actually don't answer. I don't want to know"

It doesn't matter that she's not broken her vows physically. She's still guilty. There's still been many a transgression.

"Who do you run to whenever you're upset? It sure as hell isn't me! You run right to him. Anytime anything shit happens the last person you go to is your husband. Be mad at me all you fucking like. You're the one that pushed me to this. You've been pushing me away since the day I asked you to marry me and you know what, I wish you'd just said no" She feels like she's just been slapped. "I use to think his addiction made me the better man, meant you'd love me more over time. But I never had a chance did I? His drinking is what made you agree to marry me but if you'd not been pregnant with Sawyer you'd have stuck it out with him wouldn't you?! You'd not have chosen me"

Her eyes overflow. Nothing he's just said can be taken back. It's words that have gone unsaid for far too long. And she doesn't know what's worse; that he's not said them until now or that there are certain truths to his accusations. "...We have been happy Jake, Indie wasn't born out of a loveless marriage"

"...why did you cancel the tour?"

"You know why"

"It's bullshit. If it was just a little meaningless kiss you'd never have told me. I watched clips of you on youtube from that night" He shakes his head. "I can't get that fucking visual out of my head. You've never looked at me like that! Never sung with me like that! You cancelled it because you knew you couldn't stay faithful. You can't control yourself around him... you've never loved me like you love him. Have you?" She doesn't answer. Suddenly answering that question becomes impossible. He nods curtly. Laughs. Not in amusement. Swallows thickly. "That's what I thought" He turns his back to her.

"So instead, instead of us talking about this and you just, just ending it with me you found someone that I work closely along side. Who I manage. Who I thought was a friend and you fuck her?! You could've picked anyone!"

"It wasn't a fucking calculated move ok! It wasn't like that. Is that all you care about?' He's facing her again, his anger back. 'That she's in your circle? You'd not care otherwise right?"

"That's not what I-"

"It's exactly what you're saying. You're upset and angry but you know what's devastating? From over here that upset and anger has zero to do with the fact that your husband has fucked someone else and everything to do with whom"

She pinches the bridge of her nose.

"I can't do this anymore Peyton. I'm an actual idiot. I've kidded myself into thinking you're mine because it's my ring you're wearing and my bed you sleep in but you've never really been mine and I, I'm not okay with that anymore...I can't share you any longer...You know why I fucked Mia at first?" She cringes. "Because she wanted me. You've never wanted me like she did in that moment and I couldn't help myself. I couldn't say no to that. I was you; I slept with someone that wanted me more than I wanted them. I thought it would feel fucking great but you know what? I felt fucking shit after. Guilt for betraying you. Guilt because I'd done to her what you've been doing to me all these god damn years-"

"I've not slept with him"

"I'm not having the emotional vs physical betrayal debate with you. Betrayal is betrayal. Don't you feel guilty?"

She brings her trembling hand up to her face. "I have loved you" She whispers.

"You're just not in love with me" he says the words he's not dared speak because he so badly didn't want to believe they were true. "How can't you feel guilty-"

"Of course I do" She breathes shakily.

He grimaces because it's a confession and despite already knowing it still stings. "Good. You should"

"This isn't all my fault! I've not been holding you hostage! You could've left anytime! I told you how I felt at the beginning, I was upfront with you! You knew I loved him and you talked me into-"

"Oh, I know, I'm the big bad wolf"

"I didn't say that!"

He nods slowly with a sigh. Is silent for a long minute "...I know...I slept with Mia for all the wrong reasons but I've come to care for her. I'm not in love with her like I've been in love with you but I think perhaps with time I might have something with with her because I can have her and actually have her completely. I want to be able to give her all of me too. I need to let you go in order to make that a possibility...it's the right thing...and it's what you want isn't it?...you want out" Her nostrils flare. He's doing what she'd long ago convinced herself he never would. He's doing what she's been trying to seek the courage to do. "I've not let us talk about this properly because I knew where it would end...with you leaving me"

"It feels like you're the one that's leaving" she mumbles.

"How can I leave someone I never really had?"

"You have had me. I've not been faking this for the last twelve years!"

"But it's not the same" He stamps his foot. "It's not. The way you looked at him on that fucking stage, god I'd give anything for..." He trails off and shakes his head, thinks better than torturing himself. Lord knows he's done enough of that throughout their marriage. "I've contemplated us staying together for the kids but that's a shitty reason...I fooled myself into thinking they needed us to be together but they don't. We can be better parents to them apart. Hell maybe I can try and be your friend with time" She swallows. "You can't hide with me anymore"

Her eyes round because what he's implying is suddenly too much. "That's not what I was doing" A tear races down her cheek. "God you make me sound like a malicious bitch. I do love you!"

He sighs. "...I know you do... You're not a bitch" He concedes. "We were young and it just spiralled." He acknowledges. "You were pregnant and god I wanted you so much. I thought it was simple. I thought our marriage would solve everything and I could be just what you needed because I wanted you so fucking much... it's taken me so long to realise that you can only have someone if they want you back" He strokes her cheek. "I'm always gonna love you" His thumb runs over her bottom lip and lingers for a moment before he abruptly pulls away. Has to before he falls back into the same cycle and takes it all back. "I'm going to go stay at a hotel for a couple of nights until I find a place"

"You don't need to do that we, we can sell the house and-"

"You bought the house. We're both financially secure, I don't want to go to court and get into legalities when we really don't need to. Let's just concentrate on the kids hey?"

"Shouldn't we, we talk to them together"

"I'd rather not be the bearer of bad news"

"...right" She wants to tell him that she doesn't want to either. Wants to tell him he doesn't have a choice because he's their parent too. "...you're not going to disappear on them are you? They need you"

"I'd never leave the kids. You'll never take them away from me right?"

"Of course not. They'll always be yours" She agrees quietly.

His hands are suddenly back on her. Fingers curl around her forearms and tug her close. She startles as his lips coast over hers. In the same way as always and yet somehow it's oh so different. She doesn't pull away. This is goodbye. "Do you want to?" His panted words have her brow furrowing "Just one last time?" He mumbles into her mouth. He can't help himself. Wishes he'd known this morning how the rest of the day would pan out because he'd have made it count.

She slowly eases back. "Babe that, that's not gonna make you or me feel better" She gently hums.

"I dunno about that" A wane smile touches his lips. "If I'd known last time was the last time I'd have you..."

She presses her lips together. Doesn't know what to say to that. "...thank you" She whispers suddenly.

"For what?"

"For being an amazing Dad to our girls, for loving me the way you have...I wish I could have been everything you needed Jake. I promise I wish I, I thought I could be...I'm sorry..."

"Me too...in another life huh?"

There's a lump in the back of her throat that won't go away. It's the end. It's a big change. A needed changed. But change is still hard. "...yeah"

•••

Sawyer seemingly takes it a whole lot better than her little sister. Peyton tries her hardest to console her youngest daughter. Tries her hardest to answer all the tricky questions as honestly as she can without giving her the whole truth. Holds her as she cries. Soothes her to sleep.

She's completely drained when she enters her older daughter's room at nearing 10pm.

"How's Indie?"

"Sleeping now" Peyton yawns and drops onto Sawyer's bed. "Song writing?"

"Kinda" Sawyer closes her notebook and sets it on her bedside table.

"Where's Dad gone?"

"Just to a hotel. He's gonna start looking for a place of his own right away and then we'll set up some kind of schedule...is that ok?"

"I guess. Did you make him leave right away?"

"No, of course not"

"He didn't even stick around to say bye"

"He just" Peyton sighs. "He doesn't like seeing either of you upset baby. That's all. You can call him and see him whenever"

"It's kinda pathetic"

"What?"

"Well he left you to tell us" She shrugs.

"Don't be angry at him. It's ok to be sad and feel angry or...whatever but don't direct it at your Dad" Peyton murmurs.

"Should I direct it at you?"

Peyton hesitates. "If that's what you need...Do you have questions?"

"Is it cause something has happened between you and Luke?" Peyton's head swivels slowly back and forth. "You're not getting back together with Luke?" She doesn't miss the disappointment in Sawyer's voice.

"This isn't to do with Luke honey...Me and Dad have come to realise we're gonna be better just as friends"

"Whatever. Don't tell me to ask questions and then not answer them"

"I am"

"Well don't make out that this is some mutual decision. I know something's happened. I don't care. Ok? I'd like it if you and Luke got together for real. I want to get to know him more and see him more and if you're together he'll come back here right and-"

"Honey" Peyton shakes her head. "This is about me and Dad ok?"

Sawyer squints at her then. "Which Dad?" Her daughter's question catches her off guard. It shouldn't but it does and all she can think is the child before her really, really looks like Lucas Scott right now. "...whatever" Sawyer shakes her head with a huff and twists away. "I'm gonna go to bed now"

"We can talk-"

"I don't want to talk"

"You're mad-"

"Not mad. Maybe I'm just a bitch like you-"

"Sawyer!"

"What? I'm just a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a bitch. Didn't you write that?"

"You need to stop listening to that album"

"Don't share music with the world if you don't want it listened to" Sawyer retorts. "You said that to him right? My Dad"

"Why do you keep talking to him about me?!"

"Maybe cause he actually talks to me and you don't"

"I'm trying to right now actually"

"No you're not. You're just telling me you and Jake are done-"

"Don't call him Jake"

"Why? He's clearly done with playing Dad. I might as well get use to it-"

"He's not done! He'll never be done. He's always gonna be your Dad babe. He loves you! He just needed to take some time away tonight"

"Just like Luke has to take some time away to tour?...You make everyone leave"

•••

The days and weeks after aren't easy. She throws herself into trying to make things better for her two girls. Indie is easier to distract from the tumultuous change in her life. Days out, take aways and toys are bestowed on her by both Mother and Father despite them both knowing no amount of gifts can fix this. Sawyer isn't as easy. She's hell bent on being angry and directing said anger at her mother in particular. It's hard but dealing with her children's needs is a hell of lot easier than her addressing her own see-sawing emotions.

Work is her escape. She's never been more focused on growing her label and fixing the mess she feels responsible for.

It's said work endeavours that have led her to be before Haley James Scott right now.

"Hey Hales" She smiles because it's been a long time.

"Hi stranger" Haley sits down beside her and kisses her cheek.

"It's so nice to see you" Peyton surveys the shorter brunette. "The show was amazing- not that you need me to tell you that"

"Thanks"

"You're looking well. How are you?"

"I'm good, I was surprised to see you but then I guess I shouldn't be right?"

"I didn't know he was here" Peyton mutters whilst simultaneously signalling to the barman for a top up and an additional one for the brunette beside her. "I thought he was touring with Keller"

"He's not"

"No" She'd quickly come to that conclusion herself.

"Have you spoken?"

"No, I don't think he's seen me and I'd rather keep it that way. Julian wanted me to listen to some guys at the Western Studio yesterday and then I saw you were playing and couldn't not stick around for your show-"

"You shoulda rang, I would've met you for lunch or something"

"I figured you'd be doing sound checks and stuff...I heard about you and Nate" She smiles.

"I'm trying not to talk about it. It's early days you know" Haley shrugs. "...it's good to see you too by the way"

Peyton laughs a little then. "Did anyone ever tell you you're a terrible liar?"

Haley's eyes narrow. "You're my friend. I'm not lying"

"Ok" Peyton nods.

"I'm not!"

"Ok, I know Luke will have told you what happened between us. I know you're gonna be pissed at me about it"

"I'm not pissed at you...I won't sit here and tell you I sometimes find you...frustrating but that's Luke's best friend speaking and me wanting the best from him. God knows I'm not a saint"

"No you're not" Peyton nudges her with her elbow.

"I know you've never meant to hurt him"

"I really haven't...hurting him is like, it's always been what I'm trying my hardest to avoid" She mutters. "I, I know you think you...you don't know everything, ok?"

"I know I don't" Haley's head bobs. "I know he was a mess, such a mess. I always wished you'd felt like you could talk to me more about it"

"You're his best friend. I wanted him to have you. He needs you. I didn't ever want to get in between that"

Haley's brow furrows, a glint of admiration in her eyes as she digest's the blonde's words. "...You've not told him" It's a statement. Not a question.

"Told him what?"

"I've been waiting for him to mention it but he hasn't. About you and Jake"

"...Words got out then" Peyton sighs. She'd hoped the developments in her personal life could stay under the radar for a little longer at least. "...no" Peyton nods her stare flitting across the crowded bar to where the man in question is sat with a mousey haired girl. "I've not spoken to him since before he left"

Haley watches her watching her best friend "I'm sorry"

"Sure you are"

"I am" Haley claims. "...how are you? I was gonna call but I figured I might not be someone you wanted to talk to about it"

"I'm ok" She's not torn her eyes off of Lucas and his admirer.

"...I like Lindsey"

"Yeah... He was seeing her before right?"

"They were working a bit together"

"I'm not naive Hales. I know when he's fucking someone"

"It was nothing serious. Well, you know what he's like. Fucks someone and then they're suddenly in love with him and he runs the other way" Haley claps her hands together and crosses her eyes. "I just don't get what the big deal is. Is it those dreamy orbs of blue that have you all googly eyed?"

"Nobody is googly eyed Hales"

Haley snorts. "You're the biggest culprit Peyton Wolf"

"I'd say Lindsey is if we're gonna have that debate"

"Yeah" Haley's eyes trail to the pair in question. "I don't think she thought she was gonna hear from him again. She should probably thank you for that huh?"

"They look good together" Haley laughs then. "What's so funny?"

"Oh I've gotta laugh or I'll cry...you should tell him"

"Tell him what?"

"That you're getting a divorce"

"I don't need to. It's not like anything stays quiet for long is it? Who told you?"

"I see Mia every now and again"

Peyton frowns then. "Did you know?"

"Of course not. I'd have fucking told you. I don't hate you that much" She smiles. "I gave her a hard time by the way"

"Why thanks friend"

"How's that working out? She was worried you were gonna terminate her contract"

"Humiliated but not an idiot. She's great for business. Julian's taken over dealing with her for now. I'm not ready to advise her musically"

"Understandably. How are you feeling about it all?"

"I mean...raw but surprisingly ok" She mumbles.

"Not that surprising" Haley answers. "How about that?" She nods back toward Lucas and Lindsey. "I don't think you're quite so fine about that"

"Contrary to what you've come to believe all I, all I've wanted is for him to be happy. He looks happy"

"Please, you know that boy would drop anything and anyone for you. You really should tell him" She repeats.

Peyton swallows. Tears her gaze away from the subject of their conversation to the girl beside her. "What're you doing Hales?"

"What?"

"You've wanted me out of Luke's life for forever"

"...no" Haley shakes her head and then rolls her eyes. "Well kinda yeah but that's just because I've thought he didn't have a shot and he's been in love with you for so long...I never understood what happened between you two...you still love him don't you?"

"...He's emphasised to me over and over that I've hurt him and apparently never let him move on and I'm sure you more than agree with his point of view"

"There've been times when I'd wished you cut him loose but he's a big boy. You're not the only person at fault... I was there back then too. I saw him fucking up left right and centre. I know he put you through hell. He's not that same man though. Surely you know that"

"Of course I know that"

"...so be brave" Haley implores.

"My girls are fragile right now. I'm concentrating on them"

"...right"

The barman has finally returned with their drinks. "Thank you" they chime in unison.

"Haley James, you can still write a fucking great song that gets me here" Peyton clinks her glass against Haley's in cheers, her other hand on her chest.

Haley bats her hand, is uninterested in the blonde's complements, even though they mean the world. "To new beginnings" She corrects.

Peyton rolls her eyes and takes a necessary sip of her drink. Is silent for a long moment. "...aren't you scared of him drinking like 24/7?" she blurts suddenly. "Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat. I'm back there and I've just spent an hour trying to fucking stop him from having another one...I can't do that again, I can't"

Haley takes her hand then. "I can't sit here and tell you that'll never, ever happen but he's been sober so long now. He's changed..." She licks her lips. "Maybe he deserves a chance...maybe you both deserve a chance to work out whatever went down between you. You can handle anything, I really do believe that..."

"...Why didn't he go on tour with Keller?" She abruptly changes the subject.

"Peyton Wolf told him not to. When has your opinion not been the the only one that counts?"

"...I can't believe you thought that was a good idea. I mean really?"

Haley shrugs. "I wasn't jumping up and down at the idea but I just thought he needed to get away and have another focus"

"...so he's been with you the last couple of months?"

"Uhuh. My number one groupie" Haley watches her. "He's ok. Really he is"

"Yeah"

"You're not gonna talk to him are you?"

"He looks happy"

"We all know looks can be deceiving"

"Love is selfless. I learnt that the second I found out I was pregnant" She mumbles. Haley's eyes narrow. Mouth opens but then Peyton is speaking hurriedly. "He's needed me to not be in his life. He needs me to let him go. I'm doing that"

Haley rolls her eyes. "Sure you are. Everything's different now. You can be together"

"It's that simple?"

"If you two learnt to communicate properly. Yeah. That simple"

•••

"You really weren't gonna say hey?"

She closes her eyes. Wonders if Haley broke her silence or if she wasn't stealthy enough in her exit. Slowly turns. "Hi"

"What are you doing here?"

"I had a meeting out here yesterday and saw Hales was playing tonight. Thought I'd stick around and...I didn't know you'd be here. Sorry" She shakes her head. Realises that sounds like she'd not have come otherwise and despite that being the case she'd not meant to be so blunt. He smiles. She's flustered.

"How are you?"

"Ok" She nods a little too vigorously. His eyes narrow.

"Don't do that thing" He demands.

She shakes her head. Hates it when he does his mind reading game. "Not doing anything" Points over her shoulder. "I've got a flight to catch"

"Don't lie"

"Not lying"

"Is Jake here?" he's already surveyed the place and hasn't found any signs of the man in question.

"No...I was just talking to Hales"

"I saw" Of course he did.

"How's Lindsey?"

"She's good"

"She's good for you" She decides.

"You came to that conclusion from the bar?" He's amused.

She shrugs. "You can tell a lot just from watching"

"You were watching"

"No I" She sighs. "You look happy" She settles on. "I'm pleased for you Luke" She smiles.

"...thanks. You'd like her I think" Peyton nods. Isn't so sure. "How's the girls?"

"They're ok. They've missed you"

"Sawyer has seemed a bit miserable during our last couple of facetime lessons"

A knot forms in the blonde's belly. "...the dreaded teens" she mumbles. He's squinting at her again. Doesn't buy it. Wants to quiz her. "...well I'm, I'm glad you're doing so well. I really do have to go though" She hugs him abruptly. It's brief. Far too brief for his liking. His hand springs out as she retreats and grabs her arm.

"Peyton" Her eyes find his. "Has something happened?"

"What?"

"You seem, you're alright?"

"I'm fine" She smiles that god awful smile again. Nods.

"You promise?"

"I promise" Her eyes are suddenly glassy.

He doesn't buy her declaration one bit. "Peyton-"

"I'm fine. I promise. I've gotta go. I'm really glad you didn't tour with Keller Luke" She smiles and this time it does reach her eyes but she's suddenly turning and then she's gone and he's left scratching his head and watching after her. He thinks he should be use to the back of her head by now. Thought when he saw her again everything would be different; that he'd look at her and not feel that unexplainable pull. But of course it's there. It's always been there. No amount of time, distance or space can stop it.

"Everything alright babe?" Lindsey is beside him. He forces a smile.

"Uhuh"

"She alright?"

"Yeah, had a flight to catch"

"Busy lady"

"Mm. Come on, I'm starving, you wanna get some food?" He takes her hand. Endeavours to concentrate on the woman beside him because concentrating on her should be his priority. Should. But it's not.