He couldn't take it. He was going to go crazy. He'd already killed an entire platoon of men. All because he was exhausted.

He'd always known having a baby would be hard work. He'd overheard stories about parents staying up all hours of the night simply because their baby wouldn't fall asleep, or would need changing, or would need to be fed. He was prepared for that. He preferred to meditate anyway, to avoid dreams of her.

But he wasn't prepared for the non-stop crying. It didn't help that he had not one, but two babies.

And he was by himself.

They'd barely stopped crying for the last two days. He'd done everything, but nothing seemed to soothe his little ones. Luke's cries were small, rasping whimpers that tore at what little was left of his heart, but Leia...he was certain the entire Empire could hear her. He tried to focus on getting her to stop first, because as long as she was still screaming, Luke wouldn't stop either, but he never got her to quiet for long enough to get him to stop.

Why? Why him?

They'd been fine the first few days after bringing them home, after convincing the Emperor that they wouldn't be a threat if they never used their abilities. But then he'd fed them one night, put them down, and was ripped from his meditation by their awful screeching.

He was coming apart at the seams. He couldn't focus. People died just for being in his way at the wrong time. He knew the Emperor was pleased by his unhinged behavior, for now, but he'd need to get it under control before the older man tired of it and decided to intervene.

If only she were there. She'd know what to do.

But she wasn't. It was just him, and even though he was a Sith Lord who had a reputation to maintain, he was still a man who needed five minutes to rest.

So after trying everything again for the umpteenth time, and beginning to worry that there must be something medically wrong with them, he loaded the twins into their carriers, got them in his safest (but still fastest) speeder, and booked it across Coruscant.

He needed to do this far away from the prying eyes of the puppet Senate and the Emperor's lackeys. He wasn't foolish enough to think he'd get a chance to be anonymous-no, everyone knew of the Emperor's new right hand. He was impossible to miss in the suit. And he wasn't willing to take his children to a nondescript establishment. Those were usually that way for a reason-illegal, unsanitary reasons more fitting for a bounty hunter, not two babies. He couldn't use his own medical droids-they were cold, lifeless, cruel, a personal punishment for himself, not for sweet little ones. So he still found an office in a reputable neighborhood and parked his speeder with haste.

They'd cried the entire way. When he let go of the wheel, it was bent from the pressure he exerted on it.

He'd fix it later. First, the twins.

He unloaded them and stormed into the small, tidy doctors office, using the Force to throw the door open, a baby carrier in each hand. "I need to see a doctor now." He snapped, a little too loudly. The babies started crying harder.

A nurse droid hovered behind a desk. There was a woman with her baby already in front of the droid, and they both turned at his pronouncement. "You will wait your turn." the droid, ever loyal to its programing, replied firmly before turning back to the woman.

But the woman had gone pale at the sight of him storming toward her, a baby carrier in both hands. "Ah, no, I'll wait, thank you." She sheepishly told the droid and hurried out into the childishly decorated lobby, finding the furthest corner away from him.

The droid made a disapproving click as it turned to him. "If you're going to scare away our patients, I'm going to have to ask you to…"

He'd stopped at the reception desk, carefully used the Force to keep Luke and Leia's carriers hovering next to him, and evenly placed his hands on the counter before the droid. From most people, it wouldn't have been a threatening gesture, but the droid had the good sense to back up a step, re-evaluating the situation. "I said," Vader hissed, putting the clear threat of dismemberment behind the words, "You will get me a doctor NOW."

As if to support his words, the twins wailed. He gritted his teeth.

The droid was silent for a beat. "D-do you have an...appoint….?"

"I am not in the habit of asking more than once, droid, so if you value your meaningless life, I suggest you…"

"What is going on here?" A male voice interrupted.

Both Vader and the droid looked up to find a human male doctor approaching. He was an older gentleman, with dark hair that was graying around the temples, and light colored eyes that darted between him, his nurse droid, and the hovering carriers with the crying babies. Unlike the stupid droid who followed its protocol a little too literally, the man had the good sense to realize what was happening, and what was about to happen if he didn't intervene. "Ah, AZI-5, cancel my appointments for the next few hours."

The droid, AZI-5, glanced between the doctor and Vader. "Very well. Sir, if you could sign…"

Vader was about to rip the droid to shreds with his bare hands, but the doctor quickly interrupted. "Please, Lord Vader, right this way. No need to sign in."

Well. At least someone had the good sense to stay alive. Taking hold of the carriers again, Vader followed the doctor into the office.

The room the doctor led Vader into was brightly painted with clowns and balloons on the walls. There were a few posters showing various infant life forms and rather generic medical information about babies, and a small padded table with sanitary paper on it. Vader set the carriers on the table, whirled to face the doctor, and demanded, "Make them stop. Now."

The doctor, who had just finished closing the door, blinked at him, then at the crying babies. "Well, who do we have here?" He was attempting to sound like the normal supposedly approachable pediatrician he probably was, but his voice was strained.

Vader crossed his arms over his chest, reluctantly stepping back to let the doctor look at his children. His hands clenched into fists. "My children. Luke and Leia. And do dispense with the pleasantries, doctor. I'm here to get them back to their normal routine, and they aren't going to notice the difference between you talking like a normal human being and like a fool."

The doctor was already carefully checking Luke over as he replied. "I understand, Lord Vader, but it's better for babies development to use voices like that when talking to them. It helps them develop better language skills early on."

He didn't see how that was possible, but then again, he hadn't been around babies in-well, ever. "Just make them stop crying."

The doctor had moved from Luke to Leia, who squirmed in her carrier under the intense speculation. "When did they start?"

"Two days ago. They haven't stopped." He watched the doctor, using the Force to reach out and check over his daughter himself. If the man scared his children and made it worse, he'd pay. But he didn't get the sense that Leia was more upset than she already was, so he forced himself to relax. Marginally.

"How often are you...how often are they being fed?"

He didn't like the insinuation that he didn't feed them himself. He did, when he was home, which was more often than the Emperor liked. "Usually seven times a day."

The doctor nodded. "Good." Vader bit his lip as the doctor picked Luke up, then Leia. He didn't like others holding them, not without his permission.

"Have you dealt with twins before?" Vader couldn't help but ask. He figured, since the man was a pediatrician, but he needed to be sure he wouldn't do something stupid and accidentally hurt them before he could stop him.

"Frequently." The doctor assured him. "And you're changing them?"

"Of course. I wouldn't allow my children to sit in filth."

"I didn't mean to offend." The man must have heard the threat in Vader's voice, because he could feel his sudden spike of fear. But his hands on the babies remained steady and calm. "They're healthy, with no fever or signs of illness...if I may, how long have you had the babies, Lord Vader?"

He glared, bitter, fresh wounds reopening as he remembered finding his precious babes on Tatooine, in the hands of the family that had allowed his own mother to be killed. "A week." He said, simply.

The doctor didn't dare ask about the previous two months of their lives. "And I assume you haven't had much experience with children?"

Vader didn't even bother to answer such an idiotic question. The answer was obvious.

After a moment of enduring his intense stare, the doctor cleared his throat. "Ah. Have you...burped the babies after feeding them?"

He frowned. "Have I what?"

The doctor nodded, evidently pleased that he'd found something wrong with Vader's parenting. If he wasn't holding his children… "Can you take Luke?"

Vader did so, holding him close to his chest. The baby in his arms quieted a little, squirmed closer, but didn't stop crying. He sent soothing feelings through their bond while he watched the doctor pull a white rag from a drawer and place it over his shoulder. Then, he turned Leia around, set her face near the rag…

And began pounding on her back.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Vader thundered, reaching out through the Force to grab the man's throat.

The doctor's eyes widened as he gagged, but he didn't stop pounding on Leia's back as he choked out, "Babies...need...burping…"

He loosened his grip, but only marginally. In his arms, Luke was squirming, sensing his father's panic. "Explain."

The doctor didn't waste what breath he had to complain about the choke hold. "After feeding...you need...to burp them. Otherwise, they get...gassy, fussy...you have to do it...like this…"

Vader released his hold, and the doctor sucked in a breath just as Leia let out a massive baby burp...and threw up all over the rag.

The doctor was back in a choke hold. "You made it WORSE." Vader thundered, horrified to see that his daughter was now sick on top of everything else.

This time, the doctor didn't have room to speak, though he kept trying.

"What, I suppose you're going to tell me this is part of it?!" Vader sarcastically snarled...and to his horror, the doctor managed to nod. Just as quickly, Vader released him again and the doctor began to cough. The entire time, the man hadn't dropped Leia and…

She was no longer screaming.

She was still sniffling, even as the doctor continued on her back and she threw up a few more times onto the rag, but she didn't cry anymore.

"It's normal for babies to throw up." the doctor's voice was raspy now, but he still remained remarkably calm. At least outwardly. Vader could sense his terror, but it didn't interfere with his actions to help Leia. "This young, they need help to do it on their own. When they're older, they usually manage by themselves until their digestive system can handle keeping it all down."

He stared at the doctor. Then, slowly, he looked down at a still crying Luke. It seemed backwards to do such a thing to his precious little ones. But, apparently, they needed it, and he'd had no idea. What else was he missing with them, not just because he was a Sith lord, but because he literally had no prior baby experience?

The doctor seemed to sense his distress. "It's normal for all first-time parents to feel overwhelmed." He tried to assure him. "It can be even more so with twins."

He was Darth Vader. He was a Lord of the Sith. he was supposed to be better than this.

But, he supposed, Sith Lords and babies didn't usually mix. This was uncharted territory, and as much as he hated it, he needed help.

"What is your name?"

The doctor hesitated, as though he knew what was coming. "Doctor Rawley, My Lord."

Vader looked back up at him. "You will attend to my children in the future-at my personal residence. You will not breathe a word of it to anyone. If you do, your life will be forfeit."

Doctor Rawley was good at keeping a calm outward demeanor, but Vader could sense the resignation and apprehension behind it. "Of course, Lord Vader. I understand."

"Good. But for now," he looked back down at the crying boy in his arms. "Teach me what you know."

This chapter was inspired by my dad. He was the youngest and never hung out around babies, so when my mom was pregnant with me and he saw the baby she was babysitting throw up, he FREAKED OUT, tried to take the baby to the ER, and when my mom explained it was normal, he gasped out in horror, "THEY DO THAT? OH NO I DON'T WANT A BABY!" Too late, dad. Too late. So, I figured Vader probably had a few of these moments hahaha.

Someone asked if I do requests. I do, technically, but is super weird about things like that, so... I would recommend either PMing or contacting me on Tumblr (link in my bio). Otherwise, the freaks out and shuts the story down. Let's not, shall we? ;)

Review!

Love,

Sarah