It was a few minutes past midnight and Evie lay awake. She was enclosed in a semi-hug by Doug and she felt more at ease, then she would have if alone. Given the time frame of the Royal Wedding and Doug's being on holiday from university, she'd housed him for the weekend. But it didn't help that her problem was with the only other person occupying her cottage, that being the same person who held her close. No—take that back. Her problem involved the person whose quiet slumbers made her body warm and heart eyes to emerge from her pupils in the pure darkness of her bedroom. Somewhere in that heart of hers she felt self-conscious about her relationship. She'd always thought she'd fall for someone rough. A fighter.
But coincidentally, she fell for the exact opposite. Perhaps that's the balance she needed. Doug was thoughtful and caring and she loved him for that. But even he had to have more to him. She hoped it was similar to how she had found the Auradon girl that she'd tried to suppress so many times, but then again sometimes even that felt a little too saccharine for her taste. On her weakest days, Evie wanted to manipulate, she wanted her roots back.
She laid there, trying to clear any doubts she had, her eyes focused on the absolute nothing in the room. She wished they hadn't fallen asleep so soon after arriving from Mal and Ben's reception. That's what got her thinking these things in the first place. Would their relationship ever develop into something similar?
"Doug," Evie murmured into the pillow between them where his head lay next to hers. She gently drew some of his honey brown locks back from his face and a fond smile grew across her lips. He's so adorable when he's asleep. "Doug?"
Evie watched his nose twitch where her breaths had landed and his eyes flickered. She called his attention again and watched them open slowly, but surely. "Is everything okay?"
Evie lightly sighed and felt her face gain a bit of heat. She drew her fears back and blew out a breath. "You and I…" Evie trailed off, feeling a shift in Doug's arm around her body. "You're nothing less of a sweetheart and you care so much about me and everyone. You're the epitome of Auradon. But I just can't believe that I haven't rubbed off on you. I feel like something in our relationship is missing."
As the lamp flickered on, her face grew beet red. Hastily, she ran her fingers through her hair. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to—"
"I don't mind if you need to talk. And trust me. You've definitely rubbed off on me. If we hadn't become close, I probably would still be taking girls on embarrassing dates," he joked, Evie giggling at his statement. Her giggles subsided when she heard his chuckle end long before hers and saw his smile retract. "I'm probably nothing like any of the other guys, huh?"
He seemed not to be looking for an answer, instead finding empty space more occupying. She tried to read his emotions, but as usual he didn't express any. That was another thing she was a little perturbed by. Why didn't he wear his heart on his sleeve? Why was he rarely vulnerable? Even when he had jumped to conclusions of her cheating three years ago, he hadn't exactly let down his guard. His silence and odd demeanour—given his hands had turned clammy—was worrying her. She still felt the spark with him, but she missed the days before their big confession when they'd chat for hours on end, watch any and every movie and those study dates when he'd make her laugh with his wit.
"Was I supposed to answer that?" She quietly inquired, Doug's head turning quickly and he seemed to be a bit embarrassed by something Evie again was unsure of.
"No—not if you don't want to. Truth be told, I try not to show what I'm feeling. I didn't realize that you'd pick up on it and wish that I showed you every side of me. Maybe I'm coming off like a hypocrite as I always remind you that you're multifaceted. I just don't want to get hurt… again. If that makes sense."
Evie felt her nerves release all at once. She hadn't pinpointed why she'd been feeling that their relationship was a bit one-sided or in better terms surface level. Nonetheless, it was starting to make sense. Perhaps when they first met, she had overwhelmed him. Doug had never shared anything about any past relationships, or really anything about his past. "It does, Doug and you're not coming off as a hypocrite. I simply wish we would have covered this years ago. Did I rush things between us?"
"No. And if you feel like that, I'm sorry. I didn't share how I really felt and why I had done anything that I did. The stalking, leaving you during family day, the bold conclusion that you were with someone else," Doug commented. "I hate it. I've done some pretty stupid things and I can't believe you are still here with me."
"Now that's a stupid thing to say. Some of those things were within some degree of good reason. I forgave you every single poisoned apple of a time and you've grown from that. Of course I'm still here. Who else would I be with?"
"Anybody, Evie. Anybody."
Doug's tone made her skin crawl and she let go of his hand. She turned on her side to stare into his pupils, her contact so fierce she saw herself in his eyes. "This is what you've been keeping deep inside there, haven't you?" She met her hand to his heart and felt the beating of the organ that seemed to be repeating itself at an indescribable speed.
He didn't answer, Evie shifting her focus from his chest to his eyes. She could clearly see the glossiness in his pupils, tears beginning to form. As one fell, she made sure to catch the next. There was a faint stream forming on his cheek and she silently cursed herself for having started the conversation. Her hand migrated from his chest to his face and she held his cheek, her thumb gently wiping away the stray tears.
"Doug," Evie breathed out in a slow whisper. "Am I the first person who's ever taken a chance…with you?"
His head slightly nodded and he shut his eyes. His face was beginning to turn red and Evie simply held his cheek. She didn't want to say anything as she already knew how much he didn't want to be this sensitive in front of her.
Doug had been confident and rarely seemed to get anxious or put his emotions on display. It was just three years ago when he asked her out a couple days after meeting and defended her as if they'd known each other forever. He had seen her true character even when she couldn't see it herself. He had even taken the liberty of covering any extra costs related to her starter castle. Yet all of that and more was simply part of this complex half-dwarf that she had been drawn to. Inside, probably just as much as she was, he was insecure.
He would never be the fireball of rebellion and fight she sometimes craved and now she finally realized that was okay. She was that fireball that balanced everything out between them. He was her Care Bear and that was enough.
"Usually I can stop the tears, I'm stronger than these emotions," he whispered, his voice cracking at nearly every word. He was feeling the feelings he had suppressed for years. The heaviness of the moment was weighing like a blanket on them both, but finally letting his vulnerability break loose made Doug feel free. And for Evie, it created the key to his heart that she wanted. Her ideals had been skewed. She wanted the whole Doug, not someone who he'd never be.
"You don't need to be stronger than your emotions. Cry, laugh, sing, dance, you can do it all. I want every single part of you and that should have been enough for me. All I want right now is to know you like you know me." Gently, Evie pulled him closer to her and embraced him with everything she had. She smoothed his hair, realizing just how much of an impact this was to have on their relationship dynamics.
And she loved it.
Watching him blink away his tears, Evie eased her hold and neared her face to his. She left a soft peck over the tear stains on his blushing cheek and leaned her head into the crook of his neck. Out of the weight of the atmosphere, she felt her own tear ducts fill and streams began to fall from her face. A pivotal moment was all that Evie could acknowledge this as. These tears represented everything they had both kept inside. From the unsurfaced love and passion, to the secrets that were hidden so deep.
The flaws that were unique to Doug's name wouldn't waver any of Evie's feelings that seemed to have come naturally. If anything it only drew her closer to the half-dwarf that she enclosed in her embrace and promised to never let go of.
This one is quite short and was a result of wanting a little more for Doug. In my older fics I always characterized him as being this quiet, shy misfit, but looking at canon, he's generally calm, collected and a bit insecure about being with Evie. I wrote this one to expand on Doug's vulnerability and insecurity in a more personal & tender way than the snippet in D2 when he accuses her of seeing someone else. Thank you for reading.