Chapter 18 The Secret
Trini sat stunned, unable to respond to the doctor's news. She slowly rested a hand on her stomach trying to process his words. He looked at her with an inquisitive, yet worried expression.
"Trini, are you alright?" Dr. Schneider confirmed. She exhaled a ragged breath, feeling like she was on the verge of tears. Her mind buzzed like white noise television static, still unsure of how to accept the news. "Would you like me to have your friends come in?" he offered. Trini nodded.
"Yes, please," she answered, her throat tightening, "But just Jason and Zack, please." She requested. He gave an understanding nod and left her alone in the room.
'Pregnant'. The word repeated in her head over and over and over, making her sick. Trini shook her head and covered her mouth. She shut her eyes tight, fighting back the tears building in her eyes. Jason and Zack carefully opened the door, entered the room, and shut the door behind them. Zack sat beside her in the adjacent chair, while Jason stood in front of her.
"So, what's going on?" Zack asked.
"What did the doctor tell you?" Jason asked. As Trini looked between her two friends, tears effortlessly rolled down her face. She felt like she'd failed them. They would be so disappointed in her poor judgement, her choices. Trini arched over and softly cried into her hands.
"What's wrong?" Zack pressed, as he gently rested a hand on her back, "Are you sick?"
"I'm not sick," she choked. Trini looked back up at them, knowing she had to tell them the truth. She took a struggled breath, "The doctor told me…I'm pregnant." The boys nearly jumped in shock.
"What?" they both asked in utter disbelief. She nodded.
"I feel so stupid." She cried, "It was just one time, and it was all my fault it happened, I should have never…" her voice trailed off as she looked down at her feet. Her teardrops fell leaving small drops on the toes of her white sneakers.
"But how? With who?" Zack asked. Trini didn't answer right away, but she didn't need to. The pieces of the puzzle finally came to fit in Jason's head.
"You're not going to believe me…" Trini said ashamedly.
"Skull." Jason answered. Trini and Zack immediately looked to him. Zack looked back at Trini.
"Skull?" Zack practically shouted, "Like, Eugene Skullovitch, Skull?" he asked in complete disbelief.
"It was him wasn't it?" Jason asked. Trini nodded.
"So that's why he ran to you at the airport." Zack understood, connecting the dots as well, "the roses, were you guys…together?" he asked. Trini took a breath, trying to calm herself down.
"Yeah." She answered truthfully, "We had been dating since September. I know, it sounds crazy, but, there's more to Skull than people know. He's genuine, loyal, he has such a devoted heart. He's really not the bad guy he pretends to be." Trini explained. Jason and Zack didn't appear convinced, but listened to Trini continue, "One night I snuck over to his house because I wanted to spend time with him, just in case I was chosen for the ambassadorship." She recounted, "I didn't plan on sleeping with him, things just got out of hand." Jason and Zack were speechless, "I…really loved him, you guys…I still love him." She admitted, not only to her friends, but to herself as well.
"But then, did you end it with him?" Zack questioned her. She nodded.
"I had to." Trini confessed, "I didn't know how he felt about me, if he really felt serious about our relationship, and," she took a breath, "I didn't want to force him to wait for me, especially since I don't know if I'm going to go back to Angel Grove after the ambassadorship is over." She explained further, "But then at the airport…" she remembered him running to her, holding her in his arms, and finally telling her he loved her, "he said he loved me. I didn't know what to do! I couldn't just stay behind and reject the ambassadorship. I couldn't leave you guys behind. And I definitely couldn't let him come with us."
Jason and Zack nodded, understanding her reasoning.
"But now…" Trini said, tears forming again as she swallowed the growing lump in her throat, "with this pregnancy, I don't know what to do!"
"Could…"Zack and Jason looked at each other, both of the boys thinking the same thing, "could you maybe, just end the pregnancy? No one would ever need to know…" he suggested. This was a possibility. Trini rested her hand over her stomach and pondered this, but ultimately the thought made her feel even more sick than her ongoing nausea. She shook her head.
"I couldn't bring myself to do that. I know it would be so much easier, but…I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it." Trini replied.
"Well, we have to tell Julie." Jason suggested, "I mean, she may know what to do." He said.
"I know, I just…I hope I don't get sent home over my stupid mistake." Trini cried.
"Hey, hey, Trini, it's okay." Zack comforted, "I'll go bring Julie back here and she'll help you figure out what to do, okay?" he said, patting her lightly on the back. Trini responded with a solemn nod. Zack left the room and came back with Julie in a matter of minutes. Trini, Jason, and Zack helped explain the entire situation.
"Well," Julie paused, "Trini, this is a rather troubling predicament," she admitted, "It's not my authority to allow you to stay or to have you sent home. I really wouldn't want you to have to leave."' Julie took another moment, "I will have to have you talk to Mr. Lawrence about this. It's mostly up to him, and perhaps, he can help." Julie offered. Trini nodded, "I can have him come to your apartment so you can talk to him privately, have the opportunity to discuss your options for the remainder of your stay here."
The teens left the office with the assistant and headed back to the apartment to wait for the United States Ambassador to Switzerland to arrive. The minutes dragged on agonizingly as they waited for Mr. Lawrence to finally arrive, having to cancel several meetings at the Palace of the United Nations.
"Trini! Good to see you again, my dear." Mr. Lawrence greeted when he appeared in Trini's doorway, with a hand shake and brief hug, "Julie tells me there's a matter of utmost importance?" He said questioningly as he entered the apartment. Trini sat down with him and the boys excused themselves out into the hallway to let them talk alone. Once they were gone, Trini confessed about finding out she was two months pregnant.
"I'm so sorry, sir. I know I was chosen to be an upstanding teen representative for our country, and clearly I'm not." She choked trying not to break down in front of him.
"Trini, you are the perfect United States teen ambassador, otherwise you wouldn't be here." He comforted, "Listen, you're young. We all make mistakes, and you know what? Sometimes things just happen. We have ambitions, and secrets, why I myself have a few skeletons in my closet." He said with a wink, "So don't you worry, Trini. No one is going to know about your baby." He promised.
"So, you're not sending me home?" Trini asked, a small spark of happiness ignited her feelings of comfort and hope.
"No, no, no. Of course not! I wouldn't dream of it!" Mr. Lawrence said firmly, "Look, you just worry about focusing on your studies, taking care of yourself, and the baby, enjoy the country with your friends, and prepare for the Summit. I'll take care of everything else. We'll keep this good and buried." Mr. Lawrence assured her, "No one will ever know what happened. Once you get closer to having the baby, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, but, like I said, you just leave that to me." He said giving her a warm smile. Trini smiled back and gave him a hug, absolutely relieved.
"Thank you so much, Larry." Trini thanked. He gave her a pat on the back.
"It's no problem at all, my dear." He replied, "Now uh, you should probably call to tell your folks. No, can't leave them in the dark, now." He suggested as he got up to leave, "But…I'm afraid you'll have to handle that on your own." He said with a smile and a wink.
"I'll give them a call right now." Trini informed him, opening the door.
"Good luck, my dear." He said giving her one final hug before he turned to the entire group, "And to you two, as well. Trini, considering the circumstance, you are very lucky to have your close friends here with you to help." He reminded her.
"I know." She replied, feeling better and better despite feeling terrified by the entire situation nearly an hour ago, "Thanks again." She said. He shook the boys' hands and left in the elevator to return to his regular schedule. After he left, the boys reentered the apartment, to standby for emotional support while Trini called home to tell her parents the whole story and how Mr. Lawrence promised to help keep her secret from getting out.
As Trini listened to the single ringing tones on the other end, her heart pounded hard. Jason held her hand for comfort. Just before the third ring, they answered.
"Hello, Kwan residence?" Mrs. Kwan asked.
"Hi, mom." Trini said trying her best to sound collected.
"Oh! Ling 'ài!" Trini's mom answered excitedly, "How are you, Trini?" she asked.
"I'm fine," Trini lied, "Is dad around? I need to talk to both of you." She explained.
"Oh, sure." Her mom replied, taken aback slightly by Trini's tone at this request. Trini could hear her mom on the other line call out for her father to come to the phone.
"Hi, Trini!" Mr. Kwan said aloud. It sounded as if they now had the phone set to speaker mode, so they could bother talk to her. Before Trini could get to her news, her parents asked her about Switzerland, how her day was, the usual.
"We're so glad you're having such a wonderful time." Her mother expressed.
"Such an amazing opportunity! We are so proud of you!" Trini's father added. Trini's gut wrenched. She knew this would hurt them, but they needed to know the truth.
"Thanks." Trini answered meekly, "Well, listen, I kind of have something important I need to tell you." She said, dreading the conversation that was soon to unfold.
"What's going on, honey?" her mom asked. Trini took a deep breath and told them that she was pregnant. The line was quiet and they all sat, unsure of what to say next. As the silence stretched, Trini began to explain. She told them about her relationship with Skull, how one night she had snuck out, how she spent the night at his house, the break up at the airport, and now her pregnancy and how she was against terminating it. When she finished, there was a moment of silence.
Trini didn't need to see her parents' expressions over the phone to know just how disappointed they were in what she had done. Trini had thought her parents had hung up until finally, her mother spoke up.
"Well, we will always love you, Trini, no matter what. We will always be here for you." She said sternly. Trini smiled weakly.
"I love you too." Their daughter replied with some relief.
"Your father and I are very disappointed in the choices you've made involving this boy, but there is nothing anyone can do to change it." They went on to asking if her pregnancy will affect her ambassadorship, but Trini filled them in on her conversation with the US Ambassador and how he promised to take care of the press and keep the secret from leaking to the public.
"Well, we'll be here to help however we can when you come home from your ambassadorship." Her mother said, her tone softening slightly. Trini smiled. She thanked her parents, exchanged goodbyes and finally hung up. She let out a relieved sigh.
"Well?" Zack asked.
"They weren't very happy, but they said they would help when the baby comes." She said, a look of promise in her eyes.
"Now I guess you're gonna call Skull?" Zack asked. Trini bit her lip.
"I think it's better if I don't." Trini answered.
"Trini, you have to tell him." Jason insisted, "It's his kid."
"I know, but…I'm just not ready to drop this on him yet. This whole thing was my fault, I went to his house, I didn't try to stop it. This baby is my responsibility." Trini argued. Jason rested a hand on her shoulder.
"You can't blame yourself like that. He had just as much a hand in this as you did." He reminded.
"I guess, but," Trini sighed not fully accepting his words, "I'll tell him, just, not yet."
"Well, whatever you decide to do, you know we'll always have your back." Zack assured her. Jason nodded in agreement.
"Exactly. Rangers forever, stick together." Jason said strongly.
"You're the best friends anyone could ever ask for." She said feeling incredibly blessed to have such loving and supportive friends and family surrounding her.