The One With One Day Off
[Scene: Pitch Perfect Cafe, everyone is there except Emily.]
Chloe: Alright. Aubrey?
Aubrey: Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest...umm...Hilary as president...and
Stacie: I want bigger boobs, what about you ,Beca? ( cutting Aubrey off her mid sentence )
Beca: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever.
Cynthia: See, there's always one. (Mocking) "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes." (Emily enters.)
All: Hey Emily. Hi, legacy. Hey, Ems.
Beca: Hey, Ems, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Emily: Probably kill myself!
Jessica: ..Excuse me?
Emily: yeah, means if Little Emily's dead, then I got no reason to live!
Ashley: Emily, uh- OMnipotent.
Emily: You are? Ash, I'm sorry..
[Scene: Pitch Perfect Cafe, Aubrey and Chloe are watching Emily sleep.]
Chloe: How does she do that?
Aubrey: I cannot sleep in a public place.
Chloe: Would you look at her? She is so peaceful.
Emily: (waking and startling them) Oh! What what what! ...Hi.
Aubrey: It's okay, y'know, you just nodded off again.
Chloe: What's going on with you?
Emily: I got no sleep last night!
Aubrey: Why?
Emily: well, you know semester is going to ending soon and I have this paper on due which I haven't started yet also I have no idea what I am going to right in my essay for my Russian literature!
Chloe: Well, if you want, Aubrey and I will help you.
Emily: Really?
Aubrey: Sure.
Emily: Thanks.
(Flo, Cynthia and Lily enter. Lily Release her breath.)
Flo: ...five minutes, Twenty-six Seconds. See, I told you! She could hold her breath for more than 5 minutes.
Cynthia: I don't know how this girl is still alive. (She give 10 bucks to Flo)
Lily: I don't need oxygen to stay alive. (Lily whispers while Cynthia and and Flo looks at her dumbfounded)
(Beca runs up cluching an envelope.)
Beca: Look-look-look-look-look, my first pay check! Look at the window, there's my name! Hi, me! Now I can show it to my dad.
Flo: I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.
Emily: Wow, you worked in a mine?
Flo: I worked in a Dairy Queen, why?
Beca: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally—(opens envelope)—not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chloe, look at that.
Chloe: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.
Cynthia: Oh, you're fine, yeah, for a first job.
Aubrey: You can totally, totally live on this.
Emily: Yeah, yeah.
Chloe: Oh, by the way, great service tonight.
All: Oh! Yeah!
(They all get their wallets out and give generous tips. Fat Amy and Stacie enters into cafe after a while)
Stacie: (to Beca) Hey! Here's the birthday girl! Beca, check it out: American Football tickets, Falcons, tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you.
Fat Amy: Happy birthday,showshank!
Stacie: We love you, girl. (Kisses Beca on cheeks)
Beca: Funny, do you even know when's my birthday?
Fat Amy: What's that have to do with this?
Beca: Why don't you go with someone else?
Stacie: Well, we thought that we should hang out with our best friend that's why we are asking you.
Beca: You asked others before me but sounds like they turned you down because apparently they have something else to do and that's why you asking me.
Stacie: Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't caught that.
Beca: Really?
Fat Amy: Whatever you in?
Beca: No I'll pass on that.
Fat Amy: But why?
Beca: Today's the day Supposed to be my salary day I want to show my dad that I can do better without his help but seems like he is right he always been Damn it ..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about how failure I am.
Aubrey: The hell with Football, let's all do that!
Chloe: (trying to stop Beca leaving and send a quick glare at Aubrey. In the reply Aubrey just shrug her shoulder and take a sip from her coffee.) C'mon, Becs! Don't listen to her you are not failure.
Stacie: Yeah think about it You, me, Fat Amy, Grass, hot guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, shorty, (she rubs her hands to her front body grabbing boobs occasionally.) Huh? Huh..ughhh? Wow?
Beca: What are you doing? Stop it.
Stacie: (stops) what?
Fat Amy: C'mon, shortcake!
Beca: Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big giant chicken bucket?
Fat Amy: You got it.
Stacie, Fat Amy and Beca: Football! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Beca's high school friends more like frenemy, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne.)
Leslie: (looking around) Beca?
Beca: Oh my God! Tell me this is a dream better word would be a nightmare. (Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne all scream.)
Flo: I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.
Beca: What are you guys doing here?(with her best fake smile)
Kiki: Well, we were in the city shopping, and your mom said you work here, aaand it's true!
Joanne: Look at you in the apron. You look like you're in a play.
Beca: whatever (to a pregnant Leslie) and Look at you, you are so big I can't believe it!
Leslie: I know. I know! I'm a duplex.
Joanne: Well, guess who my dad's making partner in his firm? (She points to herself and Leslie and Kiki scream again.)
Kiki: And while we're on the subject of news.. (She holds up here finger to show off her engagement ring and Leslie and Joanne scream again.)
Stacie: Look, look, I have boobs! (Bellas scream and laugh)
[Scene: Pitch Perfect Cafe, Lesile, Kiki, and Joanne are talking with uninterested Beca. Of course away from Bellas.]
Beca: So c'mon, you guys, tell me all the dirt! ? (Using hands gestures) what's happening to me?
Kiki: Well, the biggest news is still you dumping Barry at the altar!
Joanne: Alright. Let's talk reality for a second.
Beca: Okay.
Joanne: When are you coming home?
Beca: What? Guys, I'm not.
Joanne: C'mon, this is us.
Beca: I'm not! This is what I'm doing now. I've got this job-
Kiki: Waitressing?
Beca: Okay, I'm not just waitressing. I'm.. I, um... I write the specials on the specials board, and, uh... and I, uh... I take the uh dead flowers out of the vase... Oh, and, um, sometimes Artelle lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies.
Leslie: Well. Your mom didn't tell us about the blobbies.
[Scene: Same place, After a hour or so Leslie, Kiki and Joanne left Beca alone. Bellas are cautiously watching their whole interaction from their seats. Beca drops her head in her hands which are propped in table in front of her.]
Emily: What do you think? Should we go there?
Stacie: I don't know. I personally don't like that idea of disturbing her personal bubble.
Jessica: yeah she is kind of scary when someone disturb her and she seems like want her peace right now.
Lily: She is meditating.
Flo: I think she is sleeping. Look she haven't even move. Is she dead?
Jessica: Last week I woke her up from her sleep she throw pillow at me.
Cynthia: Why did you woke her up?
Jessica: Because it was 11 am!
Fat Amy: Like you don't know, no one could wake her up from sleep without facing Beca Wrath except Chloe here.
Chloe: What? NO. There is no such thing.
Aubrey: Yeah and sky is not blue.
Chloe: bree.!
Stacie: Stop messing around and GO there.
Chloe look at them but gave in: Fine but you all are coming with me. ( Chloe leads them to Beca's table and sat across her)
Chloe: Hey, Becs. How was it with your friends? (Bellas except Chloe scream like Beca's friends did earlier which go silent when Chloe fixes them with glare.) Okay! How would you like some Tiki Death Punch? (She pours the contents of the blender into coffee cup in front of her.)
Beca: What's that?
Fat Amy: Weeeell, it's rum, and-
Beca: Okay. (Grabs the container from Chloe's hands and starts to drink.)
Chloe: Okay. That's it. You need a break, a change, a chance to see what you have and what you need. We all going for football game then we will see what we can do more but I am refused to let your ass just sit here and do drink thinking.
Aubrey: But...
Chloe: No buts allow here for ANYONE. ( Chloe narrowed her eyes on everyone)
All except Chloe and Beca who only nods: Football! Football! Football!
[Scene: A Street, Fat Amy and Stacie are mimicking Football game while others are behind them scattered in different group. Jessica with Ashley looking into different shops, Cynthia, Flo and Lily are walking together with maps in hands Lily even have compass with her making sure they all are going in right direction lastly Emily, Chloe and Aubrey are continuously talking about... Everything literally everything.]
Stacie: ...Stacie passes it up to Amy! (Passes it to Amy.)
Fat Amy: Fat Amy runs towards goal knocks one of the opponents saw another one and spot Beca near the goal passed towards Beca! (She pass it to Beca, but Beca is starting at them as if she have seen a alien.)
Stacie: We'll take a brief time out while Beca stops to look at two of her teammates face.
Beca: What? This is ridiculous. We are in public remember? Stop acting like a kids will you? You are embarrassing me.
Fat Amy and Stacie: okay. Party pooper.
(They walk on but suddenly Stacie stops walking.)
Beca: What?
Stacie: Hey, that woman's got an amazing ass! (They turn to stare at her.) What? Look at her.
Fat Amy: Well I agree with her she definitely got a nice ass-(looks towards Beca) -ent but you know I am happy with my boyfriends now so not interested.
[Scene: Football Ground, the girls are trying to find their seats.]
Fat Amy: (squeezing past people) Sorry, sorry... Uh-oh.
Aubrey: What? There Are No seats? Plastic seats? Is there is a bomb?
Fat Amy: No, actually I was just saying it looks like we're not sitting together. But You should look at your face right now. I mean Bomb? Really?
Aubrey: C'mon, sit. Just sit down, sit.
Jessica: But our seats number is kind of shuffled up.
Stacie: I have a solution.( she walks towards guard standing near railings and somehow all Bellas knew where this gonna end)
[Scene: As game starts Bellas cramps themselves on tiny bench near ground which supposed to be for cheerleaders]
Beca: Get him! GET HIM! Get him! Get- YESSS! Not laughing now, are ya Dude!
Cynthia: (to Beca) See, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other to death.
Beca: Pass it! Pass it!
Stacie: He's open!
All: Run! Run! Run!
(Bellas enjoy the game but gets interrupted by time interval)
Fat Amy: Oh man, why they have to take interval... come on its not a movie.
Aubrey: Exactly Amy... They are human and human need break.
Beca: I really don't want to hear your lecture on human behavior Aubrey.
Jessica: Me and Ashley are gonna go in bathroom. Anyone want to come?
Flo: I'm coming.
Lily: Me too.
Stacie: I'm gonna go over there. (Points towards that previous guard)
Chloe: Good luck.(winks)
Cynthia: I'm gonna go over there( points towards cheerleaders)
Aubrey: Be safe.
Beca: My legs are hurting. I'm just going to stand here for while.
Aubrey: whatever.
Emily: This is so cool. I think we're going to win this game.
Aubrey: It's just a game, Ems. Besides we don't know who will win till the end... and_
( whatever Aubrey were saying Beca tune it out by moving away from them and near the ground while her mind goes back to her unsuccessful attempts)
(Nobody pays attention to other half is started. The player catch the ball and runs towards goal He was so close to his destination, crowd go crazy and that's when Chloe realizes the situation Beca about to get into soon they all know. Other opponent tackles the player outside the ground right on top of Beca who was dangerously close to ground. All Bellas runs towards the scene. Fat Amy looks concered until she notices...)
Fat Amy: Hey, look, we're on that TV thing!
(Fat Amy wave and Stacie blows a kiss and wink at the TV thing.)
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chloe and Aubrey are leading Beca in.]
Chloe: (to the receptionist)'Scuse me.
Receptionist: (holds up her hand—she is on the phone) It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Well, I'm not completely satisfied.
Chloe: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room. (The receptionist glares at her.)
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chloe) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses her some forms.)
Beca: (jumping to her feet) Look, I don't wanna make any trouble, okay, but I'm in a lot of pain here, alright? My face is dented.
Receptionist: Well, you'll have to wait your turn.
Aubrey: Well, how long do you think it'll be?
Receptionist: (sarcastic) Any minute now.
Beca: Hey, this- (she gives her a look and the 3 girls back off) Heyy...
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Flo is miming football kitting foreheads. Chloe realises it's getting tense and goes to the receptionist again.]
Chloe: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in.
Stacie: Yeah I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Stacie talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, she turns, and it takes her by surprise.) Ba-!
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Bellas are still waiting .]
Emily: I remember the moonlight coming through the window- and her face had the most incredible glow... (sings)
Aubrey: That's not really rhyme.
Ashley: Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part-
Beca: Could I get some painkillers over here, please?
Chloe: She's right, enough, already. What is the big deal about today? You didn't get enough pay, so what? You will get increment, insensitive or promotion years after that.
Beca: I worked in a cafe shop. I don't think there is a promotion thing.
Aubrey: Well, You know what my father says to me, 'If you don't succeed first then pack your bags and go hell out of the Kuwait.'
Emily: But we are not in Kuwait or are we.
Aubrey: No Emily we are not in Kuwait.
Beca: SO you want me to go Kuwait? Wait I think this is a great idea. I'm gonna pack my bags and ran away from here, probably not in Kuwait.. but somewhere else where my dad not gonna find me.
Chloe: NO. You are not gonna ran away. You are going to face your problem. You are going to show them all of them who you are, what are you capable of. Do you listen me, Mitchell? ( stand in front of Beca where all gets stunned)
Beca: Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you...
Chloe: Do you hear me? I don't want to listen your complaints again.
Beca: You are acting like a Aubrey. You are being mean to me... (she mumbles the last part)
Chloe: What?
Beca: You never yelled at me.
Chloe: You need it, I guess? (Beca gives her a look.) Sorry.
Fat Amy: That was quite a show.
Aubrey: Whoah, girl, You did a good job. I'm proud of you.
Flo: You live with a drill sergeant for years and some habits get rubbed upon you.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Beca is absent.]
Chloe: Do you guys think I was too harsh on her?
Emily: I think it's great. Y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic...
Chloe: Really?
Aubrey: No, you kidding? Romantic.. (Beca enters in room)
All: Hey!
Beca: Hi. (She is wearing a piece of steel bandaged to her nose. She tosses some forms onto reception desk.)
Receptionist: (sarcastic) Oh, that's attractive.
Fat Amy: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
Beca: Fun? Where was the fun? Tell me specifically, which part was the fun part? Where's my football?
Emily: Oh, ah- the kid has it.
Beca: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my football.
Kid: I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. (Beca looks at Chloe for help.)
Chloe: You gotta do it.(shrugs)
Beca: (to the kid) Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever—(to Chloe)—can't do it. (to the kid) Listen, uh- gimme back my football.
Kid: No.
Beca: 'Yes', how about. C'mere. Gimme!
Kid: No! No! (They start to fight over it.)
Receptionist: Hey! Hey! No rough holding in my ER!
Beca: (tries to snatch it from the kid) GIVE ME MY football! (but it files out of her grasp and knocks out the receptionist)
Beca: ...Now that was fun.
[ After a ER trip they return to Bellas house]
Fat Amy: We thought since our day is over with a slight painful note but we still have night to go so we're going to have slumber party thing. We got some trashy magazines, we got cookie dough, we got Twister... (The phone rings and Chloe answers it.)
Emily: Ooh! Ooh! And I brought Barbie house! But, um, I lost the Ken, so we can't do normal wedding. But we can have gay wedding!
Chloe: Uh, Becs, it's the Visa card people.
Beca: Oh, God, ask them what they want.
Chloe: (on phone) Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? (Listens) Yes, hold on. (To Beca) Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
Beca: But I haven't used my card in weeks!
Chloe: That is the unusual activity. Look, they just wanna see if you're okay.
Beca: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
Chloe: (pauses then on the phone) Uh- Beca has left the building, can you call back?
Beca: Alright, c'mon! (Miserably) Let's have a gay wedding!
[Scene: Bellas Residency, they're all hanging out in the living room.]
Chloe: You should feel great about yourself! You're doing this amazing independence thing!
Beca: Chloe, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?
Emily: You are just like Jack.
Flo: ...Jack from jokoslovakiya?
Emily: No, Jack and the Beanstalk.
Flo: Ah, the other Jack.
Emily: Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village..
Beca: Okay, but Ems, Ems, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an Movie Geek. Okay, I-I-I know, I know I didn't love him-
Emily: Oh, see, Jack did love the cow.
Beca: But see, it was a plan. Y'know, it was clear. It was figured out, and now everything's just kinda like...
Jessica: Floopy?
Beca: Yeah.
Stacie: So what, you're not the only one. I mean, half the time we don't know where we're going. You've just gotta figure at some point it's all gonna come together, and it's just gonna be... un-floopy.
Aubrey: Oh, like that's a word.
Beca: Okay, but, what if- what if it doesn't come together?
Chloe: ...Bree?
Aubrey: Oh, well... 'cause... you just... I don't like this question.
Beca: Okay, see, see, you guys, what if we don't get magic beans? I mean, what if all we've got are.. beans?
[ slumber party continues.]
Beca: I'm so sorry, you guys. I didn't mean to bring you down.
Chloe: No, you were right. I don't have a plan. (There's a knock on the door.)
Pizza Guy: (yelling from outside) Pizza guy!
Fat Amy: Thank God. Food. (She goes to answer the door.)
Chloe: Bree?
Aubrey: What?
Chloe: Do you have a plan?
Aubrey: I don't even have a 'pl'.
Pizza Guy: Hi, Ten, uh, mushroom, green pepper and onion?
Beca: (miserably) No, no, that's not what we ordered... We ordered a fat-free crust with extra cheese, right Amy?
Pizza Guy: wait really? Man, my dad's gonna kill me!
Fat Amy: (leaping off of the couch and runs up) Wait! It is our order.
Pizza Guy: Thank god.
Aubrey: Wait, did we ordered ten pizzas?
Pizza Guy: Yeah, that sounds about right.
Aubrey: Who placed the order?
Ashley: Amy did I guess.
Aubrey: (staggered) Oh God.
Pizza Guy: So you guys want me to take this back?
Fat Amy: Are you nuts?! We've got Party here! Aubs give money from petty cash.
Aubrey: Uh, Amy? We did spend our all petty cash last weekend.
Fat Amy: what?
Emily: Now everyone have to pay their share?
Cynthia: Oh, I'm little bit tight on budget so...
Lilly: I am not hungry.
Beca: Great and I don't have any money.
Chloe: let's pay within your budget you all rest would be paid by me and Bree !
Aubrey: wait.. wait, I didn't agree on that.
(But before that all Bellas hands little cash to Chloe)
Aubrey: Please tell me it's all covered.
Chloe: Not even close to half.
Aubrey: Oh, no...( Chloe and Aubrey paid the bill and sees all are eating pizzas)
Chloe: Hey, wait for us.
[Scene: Bellas Residency , the girls are out on the balcony.]
Chloe: Okay. Okay, I got one. Do you remember that vegetarian pate that I made that you loved so much?
Aubrey: Uh-huh.
Chloe: Well, unless goose is a vegetable...ha haaaah!
Aubrey: Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay, fine, fine. Now I don't feel so bad about sleeping with Jason Murray.
Chloe: What?! You slept with Jason?
Aubrey: You'd already broken up.
Chloe: How long?
Aubrey: A couple hours.
Stacie: Oh, that's nice!
Fat Amy: Okay, okay, okay, I got one! (She sits up and the cushion she was leaning against falls off of the balcony.) Anyway- The valentine Tom sterling left in your locker was really from me.
Chloe: Excuse me?!
Fat Amy: Hello? Like he was really gonna send you one? (To Beca) She was a big girl.
Chloe: Really. Well, at least 'big girls' don't pee in their pants in seventh grade! (To Beca)
Beca: I was laughing! You made me laugh! (Chloe and Beca start to squabble)
Lilly: My brother used draw something creative by peeing on walls.
Cynthia: Right- and I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear it at all!
All: Yeah...
[Scene: Bellas Residency, the girls are playing twister.]
Flo: (Doing the spinning) Okay, Aubrey, Right foot red.
Aubrey: Could've played Monopoly, but nooooo.
(There's a knock on the door, Chloe opens it, and silently hands back the cushion.)
Chloe: Thanks. (The guy nods and leaves)
Ashley: Okay, stace: Right hand blue. (Stacie has to bend over.)Good. (Cynthia stares at her butt appreciatively)
(The phone rings and Chloe answers it.)
Emily: Hello? Oh, uh, Beca, it's the Visa card people.
Beca: Oh, okay. Will you take my place?
Emily: Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Beca.
Beca: Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Emily takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really.
Jessica: Green. To the green.
Beca: (on phone) I've got magic beans. (Listens) Never-never mind.
Fat Amy: To the left, to the left- aww! (They all collapse)
Beca: (on phone) Ohhh... I'm fine.
End