Note from one of the writers: Hey this is Michealisking720 giving a full disclaimer before continuing, the other group members really love when I make up lyrics for dumb short raps when I'm bored so one day the leader of the group said "Hey, why don't we post a musical fanfic for our debut on the site?". Everyone immediately turned their heads towards me practically daring me to make a fanfic with certain themes in mind while discovering a middle ground between mature and a juicy lemon fic while still qualifiying as a spoof comedy, putting me in charge of pretty much directing this story on my own and since I literally had no idea what I was doing 50%-60% of the time so the story came out how it is now. Sooo...yeah, if you hate it don't hate the group just hate my crappy writing, like it that's great and I will give you a soda, if not whatever. Just dont trash the group entirely, just me. Ok mate? Anyway I finally completed my official attempt to write this so I'm proud of it earning my place in this group. Alright, peace.
Disclaimer: This fanfic is made for a mature audience so it will be rated for teens and young adults for language and suggestive themes, all characters presented are above the age of consent which is 18 and all rights of the series belong to the original creator of Adventure Time and Cartoon Network studios. All rights to the likeness and somewhat obvious references to famous artists are meant purely for comedy reasons only. Thank you.
Hiking through the woods 20 year olds Finn the human and Flame Princess were walking side by side each other heading down the narrow dirt pathway. Finn being dressed in an outfit very similar to his iconic adventuring attire with the exception of his forest bear skin cap being upgraded to a polar bear head hoodie that was pulled down at the moment letting the blonde's golden locks flow freely for a minute, swapping his old blue shorts for much more comfortable baggy blue cargo shorts, and trading in his little shoes for muddy brown hiker boots while Flame Princess wore her favorite typical lazy day outfit of a fireproof backwards baseball cap, a kitty cat crop top T-shirt, jean shorts, and beach sandals with her long candle flame hair tied up into a cute floating ponytail.
The old adventuring duo were well on their way to Jam-a-polooza, a major concert party that had been advertised and sold out for weeks and thanks to the help of Future Vision Princess for saving her from a tomato soup volcano eruption Finn was able to score a couple of tickets months in advance, which only made his excitement to show his good friend a good time that much harder to contain.
"Thanks for inviting me to go to the concert with you Finn, you sure Huntress Wizard won't get jealous of you spending time with your Ex?" Flame Princess would say with a raised eyebrow and soft giggle just to tease her friend.
"Nah, it's totes cool with HW, I offered her the other ticket but she said something about taking the weekend for magical meditation and that loud crowd messes with her pure nature chakra...or something. Anyways she knows I won't cheat on her, and vice versa. We have this real chill vibe thing going on where anything is totally cool, as long as we check in with each other about it and junk."
"Oooh look at you, "Mr. Mature Relationship" for once, I see you."
"Ha-ha, ok solid burn FP. I totally deserve that,"
"Nah I'll stop busting your blue balls, I'm actually really looking forward to this concert. Let me tell ya, I was dying to get my butt out of that throne room, suuuuch a huge headache being in charge all the time. Haven't had a moment to just chill and vibe by myself in ages, like what the flip?"
"Yeah well, you can totally relax once we get there. I heard from both Party Pat AND Party God some of the best music artists in Ooo are performing tonight, something about a music showcase fundraiser for a new cruise ship ...after the old one got completely trashed."
"How'd it get trashed?"
"Iceberg crashed right into it, thought it would be funny."
"Oooh, that's not cool."
"Yep, major party foul."
Upon arriving to the open forest clearing community campsite far outside the land of the Fire Kingdom the two would be greeted by the rowdy uproar of the partying crowd clearly having a pre-show rave to help set the tone of the upcoming show.
"Oh man, this party looks totes super cray, I think half the coolest people this side of Ooo is here even!"
"What can I say? Everyone likes to party,"
"And on a Tuesday too, very worthy."
"Hey come on, let's grab a nice picnic spot before it gets too crowded."
"Oh, good idea. Um, hmm...Over there looks pretty good,"
Finding a nice shady spot a good distance away from the tents and barbeques, Finn quickly set down his backpack getting out the materials for their picnic while FP started a small cozy campfire with a couple of sticks and a literal snap of her fingers. While setting up the fireproof plush tinfoil like picnic blanket on the grass Finn would be blessed with a quick accidental yet discreet glance of Flame Princess from a very flattering angle watching her tend to the fire she created. Frankly it still amazes the young man to this day how much FP had grown from her teenage body into a young curvy shortstack of a young woman.
Standing at only a mere 5'4 it was quite obvious to the human she only grew more in width rather than her overall height over the past year, most likely due to her sedentary lifestyle as Fire Kingdom royalty. And needless to say, having most of her growth pattern focusing on her general lower body giving her a form easily comparable to a human female's distinct pear shape, FP was packing away some pretty steaming hot buns in those tight short shorts of hers, which Finn tried his absolute best not to look at too much wanting to respect not only Ooo royalty, but the special friendship he still had with his Ex. But it did make him wonder quietly to himself why she insisted on wearing such a specific kind of shorts, especially since the Summer season was nearing the end.
….Also she herself couldn't possibly be bothered by being too hot in any way, so.
"You all done there chief?" She suddenly called out to Finn looking over her shoulder thus pulling him from his momentary stupor.
"Uh yeah, all set."
"Good, hey I think the first band is starting to play,"
F.P. would point towards the large platform stage where the rest of the crowd would quickly gather in front of to see some punk rock goblin looking teenagers were setting up their band equipment onstage.
"We are 'Fangs of Anarchy' and we are here to play you all a tasty lick!" The supposed leader of the band shouted into his microphone to which the crowd responded with a roaring cheer. "Alright, here we go. 1, 2, 3!"
The band started rocking out unleashing some crunchy tunes with real bad attitude onto the crowd throwing their wild greasy hair in every direction like they had bobbling necks made out of rubber. Finn watched the crowd members headbanging the air and stomping their feet against the ground like an epic mosh pit, with Flame Princess jamming out along with them letting the hardcore music feed her flame as she rocked an invisible electrical guitar biting down hard on her bottom lip throwing her fiery mane to and fro with every strum of the totally radical anthem.
Finn couldn't help but jam alongside her, throwing his fists at the air like he was boxing an invisible monster right before seeing a couple of other humanoid animal skateboarding teenagers start climbing on top of each other's shoulders to get a better view of the raging band. Finn gasped aloud as he felt something quite warm suddenly press up against his back and slowly climb upwards towards his head before realizing it was Flame Princess copying what the other teens were doing letting her legs hang off his shoulders using him to support her weight as she cheered the band on.
As for Finn he was being stimulated in a completely different way now with F.P. smooshing his face together with her soft plush thighs around his head engulfing him in a sense of skin tingling warmness that was like wrapping a heated pillow around him. A fond reminder of how she used to do this to him all the time when they practiced wrestling techniques wanting to help toughen her up and teach her self defence...that doesn't require burning stuff to the ground, a good memory he treasured back when they still dated. But now that memory was being tainted by the act of F.P. suddenly taking off her top revealing a black laced bra underneath and waving it around like a fiery flag of passion to the music, making Finn not only blush very heavily at how she was behaving in a public setting but also wonder just how long F.P had this crazy wild partier side to her.
Finally the rowdy band would bring their chaotic crooning to an end being polite enough to thank the crowd for coming out and showing them love before quickly moving aside for the next musical act to take the stage momentarily, meanwhile F.P. would climb down Finn's back just as some sweat was starting to appear behind his ear.
"Whoo! Ok now that, was fun! I never knew rock music could be so awesome!" Flame Princess said with a loving sigh.
"Heh-heh, yeah. Uh, ya mind putting your shirt back on? Don't want to draw too many dirty looks." Finn would say back a slightly hushed tone, his blushing face growing even redder just addressing it.
"Oh yeah, sure. Just one sec,"
Finn watched as Flame Princess quickly slipped the article of clothing back over her head whipping her hair side to side with a smile just as the next band was getting ready to play their song for the crowd. Some futuristic floated droids started to play some electronic pop club music for the crowd to easily listen and dance to, Finn would sigh a little in relief thinking this kind of music was much more suitable for a fundraising concert but his opinion would soon start to change seeing some of the other teens start to bunch up together brushing up against each other to the beat of the lively techno music as if the term "personal space" wasn't a thing. Gasping aloud he would feel that same warmth from before against his chest area this time now seeing that F.P. was pressing herself against Finn, his lower body reacting against his will from the pleasure of having his hotdog cook between those toasty hot buns.
"Fl-Flame Princess! What are you doing!?!"
"Nothing, just having a fun time is all, why? Is something on your mind?" She would say in a very innocent tone like she was doing no wrong making sure she kept her eyes closed so Finn couldn't intimidate her with an embarrassed glare as his mind started to race.
She was clearly trying to make him look flustered under the guise of innocent dancing but her movements were too precise, too coordinated, her hips grinding against his body just moved with too much purpose to be unintentional. She was teasing him, like a red flag being waved in front of an angry bull, but why? Why was she acting like this? Was there something Finn just wasn't getting here?
"Come on Finn, you're not dancing with me." The princess would say in such a pleading manner, placing her hands on his shoulders and sticking her butt out wiggling it side to side as if to try enticing him to obey to her will.
"S-Sorry, I guess that rock song took way more out of me than I thought. How about I go get some punch and come right back?"
"Oh. Uh, ok."
Finn would quickly take a step back getting out of her reach before moving towards the direction of the nearest punch bowl. He could practically feel his face burning bright red not from being so close to a living source of heat but the level of emotional confusion she was causing him. Just why was she acting like this? She knew very well Finn and her had stopped dating a long time ago and the boy moved on, found someone not only new but well grounded helping him reach the level of emotional maturity he has now, yet Flame Princess was being more carefree and flirty towards him more than ever now!
That's when he remembered what she said on the hiking trip here, she was bored out of her mind managing the Fire Kingdom as the sole ruler, despite being no older than he was. He was mentally free while she was mentally encumbered, maybe trapped even. From that mental point onwards a lot of things started to click inside Finn's mind, realizing some stuff that was not visible on the surface. Flame Princess has no mother figure, she was trapped inside a lamp almost her entire childhood, her father was a bit of a kook who wanted to corrupt her into being evil, so many variables that existed way before the things Finn has put her through even occurred. So throwing all that together in a metaphorical blender and you got a steaming hot emotional mess, so it actually makes sense somewhat why she was acting a bit out of turn with post-relationship etiquette.
Now with a cup of punch in hand Finn would watch Flame Princess still dancing to the techno dance beat monitoring her within the crowd from afar as he tried thinking of ways of how to approach this problem, which was again not easy for him compared to fighting an actual monster instead. Still F.P. would party on like she didn't have a single care in the world, placing her hands on her hips shaking them side to side along with the beat of the rapid bloops and beeps. About a minute later however some trouble would stir up when a couple of strangers in the crowd noticed F.P. soon moving closer surrounding her, tension rose immediately when one of them suddenly smacked FP on her butt which she paused for a moment gasping lightly before brushing her flaming hand against his face smacking him hard in retaliation.
The crowd gasped aloud at the sudden spark of conflict in the once chill atmosphere as Finn quickly rushed to her side thinking a full on fight was about to break out, finally something he was actually good at handling. But to Finn's surprise Flame Princess's anger was short lived quickly subsiding upon recognizing the offender to be a famous upcoming music artist known as J.J. Coal Kidd, a very humanoid looking rock man with a nesting crop of short dreadlocks resting on top of his head somewhat covering his right eye at times, big white baggy hoodie, black jeans with rips at the knees, and bright red sneakers. Now rubbing his now smoking cheek with his hand, both his eyes has been reduced to two small lines.
"Whoa...J.J. Coal Kidd? I..am...so...SO...sorry. I-I didn't know it was you!" Flame Princess would quickly apologize before turning to look back at Finn "I didn't know it was him..."
Finn was listening but his gaze was fixed on the bigger rock golem guys still surrounding the duo most likely serving as the rapper's security, said goons looked very upset at F.P. major party foul of slapping one of the main forms of entertainment for the evening and was ready to put them in a hurt locker for it. Just then, J.J. Coal Kidd started to laugh, starting off low and barely audible but then it built up until the dude was laughing aloud like someone just said the world's funniest joke.
"Nah nah nah, it's all good. My fault. I shouldn't have done that in the first place, I probably had a bit too much of a drinky drink and seeing you having fun made me totally forget my manners, so forgive me your highness..." The rock man would say before bowing his head formally apologizing and acknowledging her royalty, apparently F.P. had one heck of a sobering slap which Finn could totally vouch for.
"...Uh, well, gosh, of course you're forgiven. It could've literally happen to like, anyone." The Princess would say to which J.J. Coal Kidd laughed in response to right before he started digging through his jean pocket.
"Hey, to show there's no hard feelings, how about you two come backstage and hang with me?" He would ask pulling out a pair of official backstage passes, F.P. would cover her mouth with both hands squealing lightly with delight taking the passes.
"Oh heck yeah! I can't believe it, we get to hang with THE J.J. Coal Kidd!" She said letting her crazy fangirl side come out to play, meanwhile Finn was a bit unsure of letting F.P. go with the artist for reasons he couldn't quite explain yet.
"Soooo I take that as y'all cool with that?" The rock man asked with a smile clearly showing amusement seeing Flame Princess was actually a loving fan of his music, she would soon clear her throat calming herself down and try to play it off like she was part of the cool crowd pretending she wasn't fangirling for the past minute or so.
"Oh it's cool, totally cool. Right Finn?"
"Uh, y-yeah. Sure?"
Later that same evening Finn could be found taking a backseat on the couch of the backstage lounging area watching F.P. mix and mingle with the other members of the backstage crowd J.J. Coal Kidd invited as well. It was when the young rapper himself walked by when he noticed the human in a bit of a funk.
"Yo Finn, why you sitting all by yourself over here? Come on, it's a party."
"Eh, no reason…"
"You can't fool me man, I can tell when something is the matter. Let's rap, real quick."
"Uh, I don't think I can rap about it."
"No no, I mean talk about it. Man to man."
"Oh, well...the thing is, I wanted this evening to be a great way for me and F.P. to reconnect with each other, I mean...she got her thing and I got mine, just don't want us to forget about each other one day."
"Ooooh…I think I get it. Well first off I wanna say sorry F-dawg, I really don't want to make it look like I'm trying to move in and steal yo girl or anything. Cuz that's not what I do."
"...Um, honestly, she's not my girl. She's my Ex, actually."
"Oooh, so ya'll still having a cool friendship still? Yo, I got nothing but major mad respect for that level of maturity bro."
"Heh, uh thanks J.J. Coal Kidd"
"Yo, we boys now. Just call me "Kidd", you and F.P. over there are cool with me. In fact, didn't she used to spit a verse or two a while back?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, against Rap Bear, oh wait sorry, Son of Rap Bear."
"I thought so..."
Moving away from Finn for a moment, Kidd would pull out his cellphone to call S.O.R.B. to guest star at the fundraiser and do a rap battle with F.P. for old time's sake. At the time F.P. was entertaining the backstage crowd with a cool trick she can do with a paper cup.
"Hey, come on F.P. do it again!" One of the larger boulder teenagers called out.
"Ok, ok, one last time. Anyone have another paper cup?"
"Right here!"
Flame Princess would turn around bending over and squatting a bit making sure she was sticking her butt out far enough for the boulder boy to place his empty paper cup on top of her butt.
"Ok. 1, and a 2, and a three…."
Flicking her hips in one quick motion she makes the cup do a complete flip in midair before landing upside down perfectly back in place to which the crowd cheers aloud for her parlor trick prowess before Flame Princess suddenly gasps aloud letting the cup drop to the floor upon seeing Son Of Rap Bear arrive backstage.
"Well if it ain't the notorious S.O.R.B. coming through to come see me, right here at the hottest party, of this latest century." Kidd said in a fast rapping verse to greet his good friend.
" Just here to crank the party up to 11 G', but I wanna make something clear, this party feeling a little lukewarm since I can feel some cold stares coming from the couple of squares hanging out in the atmosphere from way over here." S.O.R.B. would answer back while engaging in a prolonged handshake as he and F.P. locked eyes with each other from a distance.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute J.J. Coal Kidd. What is HE doing here?" F.P. would ask pointing her finger at the small bear in accusation.
"Oh well ya see, I figured the crowd out there was straight achin' for some of the realest most illest rhymes to be let out and set free. So I figured what better way to finally settle this still sizzling beef, without pulling any more teeth, than by busting out some flaming hot bars to leave the crowd in disbelief?"
"Sorry, but this still sizzling beef is better left in the past, where it should be."
"Oh that's straight cold F.P. but hey, not like I'm surprised, but I don't think the crowd out there would want to believe the Princess of Fire has gotten cold feet." S.O.R.B. would say with a cross of his little bear arms and smirking grin.
F.P. would narrow her eyes in anger at those words, slowly pointing her finger in the direction of the curtains.
"Out there, you and me, right now."
"Yo yo yo! We got a special for all of y'all out here tonight, so go ahead and put your hands, feet, claws, whatever you got together and let's make some noise for Flame Princess and Son Of Rap Bear!" Kidd announced aloud for the crowd who now roared with excitement to see the much awaited continual to their lyrical demonstration.
The curtains pulled apart at F.P. and S.O.R.B. walked out to greet the crowd with Kidd now standing in between them taking the role as referee.
"Alright, I want a good clean battle. Remember, no shots way too low below the belt, unless you absolutely have too. Last one still rapping, wins. Shake hands, and let's do this."
The two did so before walking to the far opposite sides of the stage, Kidd soon pulled out a quarter for the coin toss.
"Call it in the air," he called out before flipping said coin into the air.
"Heads!" F.P. quickly shouted first before her opponent could.
"Tails!" S.O.R.B said soon after, moments before the coin landed back down in Kidd's hand now checking it.
"...It's tails, Son Of Rap Bear, you up first. Spit!"
A steady instrumental beat started playing from the speakers behind them as S.O.R.B began his lyrical assault.
" Yo, yo. You know who it is, it's me, the sick S, O, R, to the B. I'm back again, hear to spit a verse that hit so hard it makes the universe bend. Man, it's been what? 2 years? Can see the smoke coming from your ears from here, the spinning gears, unable to compute, my skills sorry just can't dilute. So just don't bother trying to refute, playing you just like how your ugly Ex plays a busted up flute. Just go back home little girl with those tight daisy dukes, your so called skills are nothing but a myth of a fluke. "
The crowd hollered and whooped to the power bars being unleashed right off the back by the little bear, F.P. looked a bit shaken up but was determined to take her turn next. But it's been a long while since she even did a freestyle rap, what could she possibly even rap about? Consequently the comment S.O.R.B. made about her pants made her look down at herself before thinking of something she had that no one here could deny. She soon pointed over to Kidd showing she was ready for her turn to start.
"Ok, Flame Princess, you up next. Drop some heat!"
" Oh please, you just keep fake boastin' when your rhymes are lukewarm up against my fire roastin'. Just too much of a fail to even try to compare, Rap Bear. So look at this, take a dare, when don't I go ahead and turn around so you can press those cute baby furry lips and kiss my flaming hot derriere! Son Of Rap Bear, do you know you're just a joke? The writers just threw you together after sniffing a line of coke. Always will be in your daddy's shadow, to you I'm both beauty and the beast but you can't be my beau, just gonna have to say no. Thinking you can reach up to me, my rhymes spit fire to the hottest degree, give you bandaid shaped like a maxi-padi. After this battle, let's go to "Build-A-bear" daycare so I can leave you there let you cry over your ending career!"
The crowd and even Kidd didn't expect the level of heat F.P. has brought to this battle, yet S.O.R.B. was far from defeated just yet as the music and the cheers egged him on to give his next verse in retaliation.
"Uh, ex-squeeze me? Making fun of my given name, that's cheesy. Your rhymes are like a broken oven making cookies, half baked. Thinking you can beat me with just a few lines? Just made a mistake. But speaking of food, when's the last time you put down the firechips and looked in the mirror ya big disgrace? Legs got more mass on them than tree trunks, ass so big full of the stuff coming out your mouth, just junk. Heard it's so fat a tank can't put a dent in it, supposed to be very attractive but somehow you got boys running like it's spraying repellent. Letting out high levels of toxic natural gases filling the lungs of little ones everytime you come by, polluting the atmosphere makes me want to lay back and act like your romantic life and die!
"I'm sorry, were you saying something? I was checking your dad out on this dating app, told him to swipe right on me cuz I'm smoking hot, maybe help him forget his only kid is a poor excuse of an attention thot. Has it really been 2 years? And you haven't gone through puberty yet, maybe you should go to the vet, tell her to put it on my tab you can still be in my debt. Sorry I had to be the one to give this sick burn but I think that is the only way you will learn. Yes your sir, are just a loser, take a snip right down there change turn you from a "he" to a "her", feel the breeze of the flow I'm giving, brrrrrrr! Ha! Yeah, but I won't lie you're not wrong about being a bit more wide and all that, you're right about me having a little bit of extra fat, but don't you know phat goes well with fire? So why don't you do yourself a big fat favor while you're laying there gasping for air, just drop the mic so you can go retire!"
If life was a video game the poor little bear's health bar would be beeping red by now, F.P.'s flows were hitting too hard and too fast and it was clear by the look on his face he was starting to run out of material, and everyone knows the greatest taboo is rapping is just repeating the same thing over and over again.
"Uh...I uh…"
"Choke! Choke! Choke! Choke!" The crowd started chanting knowing S.O.R.B was out of ammo which made the little bear start growling in anger soon throwing the mic down in anger.
"Aight, ya know what? Forget ya'll! I'm gonna go hibernate."
"...Uhh, it's not even winter Rap Bear," Kidd soon called out watching his friend leave.
"I DON'T CARE!"
"...Well then, I guess F.P. wins the battle!"
The crowd erupted with echoing applause at her official win as she took center stage taking a bow. Finn watched from behind the curtains as F.P. literally glowed, basking in the spotlight of her lyrical victory. It was then one of the goblin boys gets the crowd going with a whole new chant.
"Hey! Take off your top!"
"Take off your top! Take off your top! Take off your top! Take off your top! Take off your top!"
Naturally Finn started blushing furiously at how quickly the tone had changed out of nowhere, but he was confident F.P. would never fall victim to peer pressure.
"Pfft, well...ok! Here goes!" F.P. announced before slowly reaching for the bottom or her top.
…...Well crap.
Finn suddenly springs out from behind the curtains now standing in front of her before she could.
"No! No way! Objectifying the princess like this, you all should be ashamed of yourselves!" He shouted back at the crowd to which the music ended with an abrupt record scratch, everyone was silent for a long pressing moment.
Before Finn could capitalize on gaining the crowd's attention F.P. suddenly grabs his arms yanking Finn backstage.
"Finn! What the blip was that for?" She hissed at him clearly upset by what he did.
"What? Are you serious? They were objectifying you!"
"Ok, and?"
"And? What do you mean?"
"I mean what's the harm in having some fun?"
"That is not fun, getting that sort of attention is not fun! You should be glad I intervened!"
"No, I would be glad if you didn't! I'm grown up now Finn, I can make my own choices without you or anyone else's help!"
He had to admit, he did feel a little hurt hearing her say that.
"Sorry. You...were never like this before. I didn't know how else to react."
"...It's fine, just need to get used to the new F.P. is all."
"...Yeah."
Just then Kidd joined them backstage after announcing the next band to take the stage.
"Hey, is everything ok back here?" He would ask sounding genuinely concerned especially after the major murder Finn did to the vibe.
"Yeah, everything is cool. Just a bit of a miscommunication." F.P. quickly explained to which Finn reluctantly nodded to.
"Oh, word. But ya'll still planning on sticking around for the rest of the music fest right?"
"Totes duh man, how about you Finn?"
"Uh, actually. I think I'm all partied out, I think I'm gonna call it a night." The human would say rubbing the back of his head a little looking down at the ground.
"Aww what? Not even close to midnight, you sure bro?" Kidd asked, once again able to sense some distress in the air.
"Yeah. I'm sure, you just show F.P. the good time she deserves, as a favor for me, ok bro?
"Sure bro, I can do that. Come back if you change your mind tho,"
Finn would wave his goodbyes before heading off for home, soon finding himself singing out his internal thoughts to the surrounding gentle acoustic of the night time forest landscape as the moonlight engulfed him.
"Oh Flame Princess, I know you could do no real wrong, but I really thought I knew you, like the words to an old song. It's clear we're both grown up now, it was destined right from the start, I just never thought that...we would grow so mentally far apart. It doesn't feel real, but it must be true, I guess I never took the chance to really get to know the real you…."
The next day:
It was the start of a new day as Finn was sound asleep in his bed right when a hologram projection of Princess Bubblegum suddenly appeared floating over his head.
"Finn! Finn, wake up!" P.B. shouted through the hologram, thus stirring the boy from his state of rest.
"Ugh, what is it P.B.?"
"Something has happened over at the Fire Kingdom, meet me there, ok?"
"...Ugh…Fire Kingdom...wait...THE FIRE KINGDOM? FLAME PRINCESS!"
The shock of something possibly bad happening to her made Finn quickly spring out of bed and out the front door running at top speed towards the lands of molten lava and fire, there Princess Bubblegum was already present in a protective fireproof astronaut like suit quickly tossing him a spare suit before heading inside the volcano castle. Inside both Finn and P.B. were surprised to see the entire royal throne room filled with weeping subjects, all of them bawling and crying letting their molten lava like tears fall to the ground clearly upset over some great tragedy had occurred.
"What happened here?...And where the heck is Flame Princess!?!" Finn asked, trying to assess the unknown situation with the most alarming detail being the throne itself being left barren without it's ruler.
At once one of the many fire subjects came forward from his place from the stands to explain, blowing his nose and wiping some lava from his eyes before speaking.
"The Princess, she...she…"
"She what? What happened to her!?!"
"She...left us! WAAAAAAAAAH!"
The entire throne room quaked with the sound of a hundred woe filled voices to which P.B. demanded silence by clapping aloud asserting herself as the only source of high ranking authority now.
"Are you saying Flame Princess, has left her post?"
"No way, she would never! She had to have been kidnapped or something! She wouldn't just leave for no reason!" Finn insisted, Bubblegum started tapping a few buttons on her arm communicator, sending a holographic message to some of her various contacts, supposedly seeing if anyone knew by any chance anything about Flame Princess's current whereabouts.
Minutes later there would be a notification appearing on her hologram screen, someone had answered back. Upon opening the message Finn and P.B. could see it was from
Marceline.
"Hey, I think I found your friend," -M
Attached to the message was a video link to J.J. Coal Kidd's latest video blog, upon hitting 'play' would start the video.
"Yo wassup to all my wonderful subscribers, it's your boi, J.J. Cole Kidd coming at you with the HOTTEST update to my career in music. I'm talking about finally starting a partnership, a series of collaborations to help introduce the newest face in the official music business, DJ Hotcakes! Show 'em some love girl!"
The camera would pan away from Kidd to Flame Princess wearing deep black reflecting shades now giving her introduction.
"Yo what up? DJ Hotcakes here, excited to tell you all I'm gonna be featuring in Coal Kidd's latest upcoming videos on his channel, so don't forget to follow and subscribe to be in the know, ya know?"
"DJ Hotcakes…? What, does she make waffles or something now?" Princess Bubblegum asked.
"Uh, no. I don't think that's what the nickname means." Finn would answer with a bit of a sour blush on his face, he was upset at both Flame Princess for leaving the Fire Kingdom and at Kidd for letting her become a rapper with him.
Unless…..unless Kidd was the one responsible for Flame Princess's sudden irrational decision. Yes, it had to be the case! It had to be his doing, somehow. F.P. was in trouble and Finn had to save her. Later that day Finn could be found running through the forest landscape alongside Huntress Wizard on the trail of finding F.P.
"Are you sure you can find her?" Finn would call out to the ninja like forest elf heroine in front of him.
"Yes Finn, I can find anyone. But I have to ask one thing,"
"What's that?"
"Have you ever seen a waterfall flow upwards?"
"Wha? Um, no. Not really?"
"That's because you can't make some parts of nature do what you want, try to remember that, k?"
"Sure, I'll try."
With his girlfriend's master hunting skills the duo was able to follow the invisible trail to Bricktown, an overall high population density and mixed diversity urban city like community filled with rock golems, robotic androids, and many other elemental humanoid people.
"Alright, where do you wanna check first?" Finn soon asked as his eyes started scanning through the civilians.
"Hmm...if I had to guess, I'd say those apartments would be a good place to start." The forest ranger said, pointing up at one of the many tower like apartment buildings in the center of town.
Laying out on top of a fireproof blanket, now wearing a two-piece black tank top and sweatpants aerobic workout attire, Flame Princess was currently in the middle of her daily workout and muscle toning routine letting herself lay flat against the blanket before letting her lower body explode upwards in a burst of quick motion again and again. If her curvy shortstack body could sweat it would be glistening from head to toe by now.
"1, and 2, and 3, and 4, and-ah!" She screamed as the front door of the apartment was kicked open with Finn and Huntress Wizard bursting in surprising her. "Finn? Huntress Wizard? What the hey-hey?"
"Flame Princess! We've come to rescue you!" Finn declared as he hopped closer to F.P. reaching for her hand.
"Save me? But I'm not in danger!"
"But-but,"
Just then J.J. Coal Kidd came out from his bedroom wanting to see the source of the sudden commotion.
"Hey, I heard F.P. scream, what happen-oh, yo Finn my man, what's hangin' homie?"
"Don't "homie" me, you took Flame Princess!" Finn proceeded to accuse despite what the Princess just said.
"...What are you talking about?"
It was then Huntress Wizard finally thought it was time to intervene, placing a hand to his shoulder to calm him down.
"Finn, remember what I said about reverse waterfalls?"
"This isn't the time for waterfalls H.W."
"No no no, I was trying to sound cool and cryptic about it. Let me translate, I was trying to say that you are gonna overstepping your boundaries as an Ex right now?"
"Wait….what? No I'm not."
"Finn, we just barged into someone else's home. I'm pretty sure this is overstepping a ton of boundaries...and laws."
"...Oh. But...Flame Princess...why did you leave the Fire Kingdom?"
The fire elemental started to look very sheepish, rubbing the side of her arm as she looked down at the carpet, Kidd placed a hand to her shoulder as emotional support.
"Want me to tell them?" He would whisper over to her, F.P. would think for a moment before shaking her head.
"No, I can tell them, it's my bizz."
Finn started to look quite confused about what the two were being so discreet about before F.P. took a step forward speaking clearly again.
"Sorry for not saying anything about it earlier, but for the longest I was thinking, my time of ruling the Fire Kingdom was over. I was yearning to do something much more personally fulfilling with my life. Just never got a chance to do anything about it, until last night, when Kidd and I talked all night long during the concert party after you left."
It was Finn's turn to look like the guilty party now, he was so concerned about how he was feeling it didn't cross his mind until now.
"Besides, my older brothers said they will work out the new ruler of the Kingdom in due time so I wouldn't have to worry about it. So now I am free to work on my new passion, to make music. Also it's not Flame Princess anymore, it's DJ Hotcakes now."
"Hotcakes? What? You make pancakes now?" Huntress asked somewhat tilting her head to the side.
"No, that's not what the nickname means." Finn, F.P. and Kidd all answered back in unison.
But now the vibe was a bit down after F.P. dropped a major info bomb on Finn Kidd quickly thought of how to pick up the mood again.
"But uh...hey, since you guys are here, why not join us? We were just in the middle of doing a relaxing yoga fitness session together, we're also gonna livestream it for my followers online to join in. More people, more views."
"Oh hey that's a great idea, how about it?" F.P. added as well.
"Sure, I'm still doing my meditation weekend so yoga would be really good for me right now." Huntress Wizard said as she quickly removed her cloak and heeled boots with a wave of her grass magic leaving only her dark green T-shirt and black tights remaining.
"Awesome, I'll go get some extra mats." Kidd said excitedly as he started unzipping his puffy white jacket and casting it aside on the living room couch leaving only his black sleeveless workout tank top and basketball shorts on soon heading into the backroom to retrieve said mats. "Hey Hotcakes, mind setting up the camcorder for the stream?" His voice called out from inside the room.
"Sure thing!" She would call back before moving towards the high tech computer set up in the corner of the living room retrieving the small camera from the table and the matching tripod stand, now setting it up in the middle of the living room facing towards Finn and Huntress Wizard. "All set, 5 minutes until the stream!"
"Got it, and got the mats," Kidd said entering the living room with the extra three mats in his arms, handing the green one to H.W., a blue one for Finn, and the grey one for himself.
5 minutes later the light to the camcorder turned red as the live stream began, the chatroom flooding with the hundreds of Kidd's online followers excited to see his first yoga video featuring DJ Hotcakes with the humanoid rock man doing the introduction.
"Alright everyone, just like I promised here's another yoga session lesson, with your boi, J.J. Coal Kidd!"
"And your new girl, DJ Hotcakes! With us are our close friends, Huntress Wizard and Finn t. human!" F.P. added pointing over to Finn and H.W. who waved to the camera, the chatroom exploding with comments already calling the adventuring duo practically living legends at this point in their hero careers with the forest ranger taking it up as a hobby to share the same interests as her boyfriend.
"And what better way to de-stress the mind than some soothing couples' yoga?" Kidd would ask the stream audience, soon taking his mat next to F.P. before the two started posing in a crane like stance with their flat palms pressing together.
"Yeah…soothing...yoga…" Finn said, a bit absentmindedly turning his brain off for a moment as survival technique from being dragged into this situation as he and H.W. started mimicking their poses, right before Finn's brain quickly turned back on upon realizing what Kidd just said. "Wait wait wait, did you just say "couples"...? As in, couple, but in the plural sense…?"
"Finn…" Huntress Wizard warned silently, already being able to sense the match being so dangerously close to the fuse as Kidd and F.P. shared a glance with each other.
"Well yeah…" F.P. began before pausing for a moment. "He's my boyfriend now, my new boyfriend…."
Her words echoed through Finn's mind like yelling in an empty cavern as Finn stood there completely stunned beyond disbelief, before suddenly collapsing to the floor.