The One With the Butt
[Scene: Bellas Residency, it's Sunday all Bellas are awake (except Beca) Chloe making cookies Aubrey helping her.]
Jessica: (watching tv suddenly pointing towards tv screen) Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Stacie's Advertisement! This is so exciting!
Stacie: Oh Jess, You can always spot me on TV screen no need to get excite...( Stacie turns around before taking spoonful of cereal in mouth)
Cynthia: Yeah, but this one's my favorite ( Stacie appears in TV )
Fat Amy: Oh, shhh, shh. It's started.
(Stacie walks through hallway of a office,all gazes are on her, well on her butt. She is wearing black top and black short skirt. Her ample amount of boobs could be seen and her perfect ass is swaggering side by side as she walks. All office workers are drooling over her perfect figure. In next scene she enters into empty lift she turns around sees two boys stares at her she winks at them seductively as lift door closed she released her breath which was she holding showing her swollen stomach. She starts panting advertise end with one sentence 'Don't judge too quickly'.)
Fat Amy: That never fails too make me laugh. It is too hilarious...
(All begins to laugh to which Stacie just rolled her eyes and continued eating her cereal.)
Chloe: Okay. I'm going to Mission wake-shorty-up.
Aubrey: why? Let her sleep all day I'm sure she won't mind it and me either.
(Chloe rolled her eyes too well known if she comment further this conversation could go long enough till end of the day. She just head to her said task and leave the bunch of tired girls on their own)
Flo: God. I feel violated. Do you think that pancakes aren't for Guatemala's people?
Fat Amy: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
Aubrey: Goodbye Lazy Peoples. I've work to do unlike you.
Emily: what work? It's Sunday
Aubrey: So What? I have some unfinished business to do. See ya later Aca pitches.
Stacie: (sighs and whispers to her fellow Bellas once Aubrey go to her bedroom) Don't you think she has been little checked out lately?
Cynthia: maybe... little bit!
Stacie: She's Acting weird. I'm telling you.
Lilly: I can cut this pancakes in half with my tongue. (Whispers)
Emily: I don't know what are you talking about. So excuse me I have my homework to complete unlike you.
Flo: I am telling you guys she is slowly turning into Mini Aubrey.
Emily: Aca-cusme, I am so not like her. (Holding her hand in air) am I?
Cynthia: Relax you are not like Aubrey...yet.
Lilly: I have a Deja vu...! It's happening I can stop that.(Whispers)
Jessica: she could do that!
Ashley: Y'think?
All: Yeah!
Stacie: It's okay, she can go to complete her 'homework' (airquoating homework) she couldn't hold any secret within her anyway.
Emily: I can hold a secret if I want.
Cynthia: and I am not gay.
Emily: I am going to prove it to you. Count me in whatever you guys are planning to do. I'll be right back. ( went to her bedroom)
Fat Amy: It was always easy to get her to do anything.
Cynthia: I can hear your brain gears are practically spinning from here stace. What are you up to? ( she eyes widely grinning Stacie)
Jessica: Stacie?
(Chloe enters Beca's bedroom to finding she is still asleep on her stomach covered in layers of blankets. )
Chloe: Hey sleepyhead! Wake up.
Beca: Go away.
(Pause)
Chloe: ...Hey! Come on get up now. It's 11 pm. You are going to blame me when you wouldn't get sleep at night.
Beca: 5 more minutes. (Mumbles in sleep)
Chloe: Okay Enough. ( she pulls blankets off from Beca and smack on Beca's butt)
Beca: (sit straight in bed) Ow. What the fuck Chloe? ( rubbing her sore butt)
Chloe: What is it? I didn't slap that hard.
Beca: Yeah? Well tell that to my butt.
Chloe: I would love that (Beca glares at her) but in all seriousness I really didn't slap that hard. Maybe you hurt pretty bad from last night's fall.
[ Living room, everyone else is there as Aubrey enters.]
Aubrey: Hey, kids.
All: Hey.
Flo: (reading Jessica's palm) No, 'cause this line is passion, and this is... just a line.
Emily: I'm back pitches. ( wearing black tight jeans, black leather shoes, over black tee shirt says 'Do not mess with me' with black boy cap and black shades.)
Aubrey: And where are you going Miss. Black eyes?"
Emily: Nowhere... I was going to just complete my homework...
Aubrey: In this?
Emily: yeah that's right in this, right in my bedroom.( she gesture to her attire then to her bedroom)
(A flashback of Last laundry night flashed in Beca's eyes.)
Beca: ...Oh no. I thought that was my ... my butt. It hurts though.
Chloe: Alright, turn around let me see it.
Beca: What? No...
Chloe: Don't be a such a baby. Let me just see it. It could be worse and it's not like I didn't see anything of your body.
Beca: Oh, I'm sorry, but I am fine. It was just a Heat of the moment. See I am perfectly fine Now. No pain.
Chloe: Let me just see it okay?
Beca: No I told you I'm fine.
Chloe: What's in harm to just check it out?( steps forward to check)
Beca: No... No no no no (backs away)
Chloe: Come on get back your cute butt here.
Beca: Never. ( she stumbled into hall Chloe trailing behind where all Bellas are watching them)
Aubrey: What now?
Chloe: I think Beca's been hurt from last night's fall.
Beca: No, Beca's not hurt.
Ashley: What's wrong with just check in case?
Chloe: Exactly what I am saying.
Beca: Well I think there is wrong to check someone's butt even if the said person says it's fine? Just back off dude.
Chloe: Fine... Do what you want. ( she started to wash the dishes in kitchen ...little bit by taking her frustration on dishes)
Fat Amy: Do you need my butt confidence because I can give it to you. (She stand up and make her way towards Beca run her hands on her own butt and smack on Beca's butt.)
Beca: OWWWWW...OW! That's hurt. Why did you do that? (Rubbing her butt)
Aubrey: So much for I'm fine.
Beca: I hate all of you. ( angrily stomp off to her bedroom)
Aubrey: Oh. I'm late. Bye...(Hastily make her way towards main door and took off)
Fat Amy: That's fun...
Stacie: So who's up for secret mission?
(All raised their hands on air except Lily... well she raised her tongue though.)
Chloe: Well, don't count on me I know I would be in trouble if I listen to you guys. Perhaps I have a novel to finish.
Stacie: Oh, yeah. Novel really? Chlo you have to be more creative.
Chloe: I really need to finish it. If you need anything yelled for me I'm right there in my bedroom. (she literally yelled last part of her sentence to hear or overhear all people... particularly it was for Beca. They all knew)
Fat Amy: Let's go bitchs before I catch up with invisible tension here.
Stacie:Let's go.
Emily: What are we gonna do?...(They all left Emily alone) guys.. wait for me...
(Meanwhile Beca goes for shower, she hopelessly tries to see her sore butt, but she couldn't see it because first well they don't have extra pair of eyes on back and two they don't have whole full length mirror in bathroom ...Let's just say it it is in the movie only. She wandered into kitchen after finishing shower.)
Chloe: look who's up buttcracker- (taking sip from her water bottle)
Beca: Don't you dare.(Chloe surrendered her hands in air and put bottle back in fridge) Where are rest of the guys it's seems awfully silent.
Chloe: Oh I honestly don't know where they go but I think they wouldn't be home soon. Why? Do you need anything?
Beca: No.
Chloe: Wanna watch T.V.?
Beca: Yeah. (Chloe sat on couch and start surfing channel Beca comes with pretzel packets ,winces as she sat)
Chloe: Are you okay?
Beca: No... I mean yea..( squirming in seat)
Chloe: I don't think so. ( narrow her eyes at Beca at which Beca choose to ignore. They pretend to watch T.V. for a while.)
Chloe: Fine. Fine, alright be stubborn. Do whatever you want, don't come back at me later for any kind of help. (No response) ughhh... (she turns around and slammed her bedroom door shut behind her.)
[Scene: Outside Bellas Residency they all could see Aubrey drive through .]
Stacie: Come on girls.. give me car keys. Hurry!
Cynthia: Amy has them.
Fat Amy: I told Emily to bring them.
Emily: No you didn't.
Stacie: Damn... I knew that would happen. ( suddenly a car stops in front of them after a while driver's window slide down reveling Lily on driver seat ) ... alright girls get in the car!
All: Come on! Yeah! ( Stacie jumps in front seat besides Lily while all tried to squeeze back into back seat. Apparently the car isn't modified to fit all of them to carry. So when fat amy squeeze herself into backsit Jessica falls from the opposite door. The cycle repeats itself for few times. )
Stacie: ...Oh! Come on...hurry up
All from the backseat: Why don't you try it stace, huh?
Stacie: just sit on each others lap. Start the car Lily. We can't loose her.
(Lily steps her foot on accelerator which makes all Bellas to scream in unison.)
Jessica: Oh my god... Lily slow down...will you?
Lily: Do you want to find Aubrey or not?
Stacie : Yeah, yeah, l want to if I would live for that.
- [gasps]
- [tires screeching]
Cynthia: Lily!
Flo: Lily, what are you doing? I supposed to die in marine not in a cramped car with bunch of girls.
Emily: Truck! The truck...
[screaming]
- [tires screeching]
(Everyone screams as they avoid a car collisions by a millisecond of difference)
Emily : I don't want to die. I'm too young to die.
Fat Amy: Please God don't take me i have 4 boyfriends.
Stacie : and I want to try a position which I haven't tried yet!
Emily : what position? (Asks innocently)
Jessica : NO!NO I don't want to hear your position Stacie. Keep it to yourself.
Stacie : Oh c'mon! You would love it. Just try it's enjoyable by both parties.
Ashley : Okay, I want to die now. Please let me die.
(After lots of screaming, bickering and crying car finally stops everyone hurriedly step away from car. Jessica hurl around for puking her guts out, Emily and Ashley helps her and Fat Amy lays on ground kissing the land like she just met her long lost boyfriend.)
Fat Amy : Land solid land!
Stacie :( half whispers) shhhhh... don't make noise. There she is. I knew she is secretly dating.
( Aubrey was sitting in a dinner across road with a handsome looking man rather looking nervous)
Fat Amy: yeah...shhhhh...like she could hear you from this distance.
Stacie : I don't want to take any risks.
Cynthia : Right. But how would you know they are on a date?
Stacie : Why would someone look nervous unless you aren't on a date?! Look at him he is ordering for her.
Ashley : Every man or rather gentlemen do that.
Stacie : yeah the gentlemen who's on a date. (Says while never leaving her eyes from that did couple)
(Everyone looks at each other, shrugs and focus on spying Aubrey )
(Beca in her bedroom and she's on the phone.)
Beca: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, No definitely it wasn't that hard! (She hangs up and march to Chloe's bedroom.) That was my doctor. (She tosses phone on bed) My doctor wants to check up my butt to see if...ughhhhh...
Chloe : Oh my God! Whoah! Calm down.
Beca: Well, I can't. It's too much to handle at one time I just want one peaceful day but No... God wants to punish me for no reason.. what do I do...
Chloe: Beca... (Beca doesn't shut up she paces back and forth and rambles on and on) Becs... (Chloe cuts her path by standing in front of her)
Beca : yeah?
Chloe : ...Take a deep breath (Beca follows )Good. Now calm down. It's a life Things happens. Okay? Don't be hard on yourself. First of all you should really listen to your doctor. It's probably not bad I mean you said it to yourself it wasn't that hard fall right. The only thing we need to do is to don't leave any place for 'what ifs'.
Beca: ..You're, you're right. But you're going with me right ?
Chloe : of course I am. You don't need to ask.
(Meanwhile at restaurant.)
Stacie : (trying not to laugh) Ok I have a plan. You guys follow me.
Emily : I am getting very bad feeling about this.
CR: Get ready for real shit girl...
[ Stacie and Emily, enters through door]
Stacie : Alright, alright, alright look whose here...
( rest of the bellas except Lily enters right behind them.)
Emily: Here. I told you she's cheating behind your back.
Aubrey : what?
Stacie: Whaddya think? I wouldn't know this. How can you do this to me , to your own wife. (Starts to fake crying)
The guy: wife? (Completely confused by the scene.)
Jessica : yes. Wife. She has a wife to be honest a perfect one.
Aubrey : what are you guys doing?
Stacie : what we are doing? The real question is what you are doing bree? We were I love. We are married to each other. We vowed to each other...( She chokes out a sob and buried her face into Emily 's neck. Wow she is good in acting)
CR: I warned you...
(Whole crowd in hotel looking at them.)
The guy : I'm sorry but I don't know what's happening here?
Aubrey : Oh, believe me neither do I...
Fat Amy : Oh, you don't know , huh? Aubrey how did you change this much? You cheated on your own fucking wife...
The guy: That's not, we are not...I'm not cheater. (He rambles in panic.)
Flo : Ooh, do I sense a little bit of resentment?
Lily: I smell a ghost here. (All bellas turn their heads towards not knowing when she appeared by there side.)
Aubrey : I don't know what are you guys doing but it's not funny. (Glares at bellas)
Stacie: You know what's not funny...cheating .
The guy: NO we aren't a thing. I came here for my girlfriend I want to surprise her I want to propose her in a resort where Aubrey works. That's why I invite her here. I didn't know she is gay and certainly didn't know she is married and have a wife. I might add hot one but I only have may eyes for one. So... i won't. But I see a trouble here and I'm sorry Aubrey I won't take risk with this so don't bother I'll propose her at different place maybe at beach or something. Thanks for help though... bye... ( he collects his things quickly and dash towards exit) nice to meet you all. ( looks towards bellas and left.)
[Scene: At Clinic, Baca and Chloe wait for their turn.]
Assistant: (on speaker ) Beca Mitchell ?
Beca: Uh,That would be me. (Nervously she enters in.
Doctor : Lose the cloths.
Beca: what?
Doctor : Relax I was kidding but you have to so I could check it.
Beca: Right. Okay. Losing the cloths. That wasn't funny (she fixes her gaze on him.) And you certainly aren't going to check my butt .
Doctor : Okay, so who's going to check it last time I checked I Am a doctor and if don't want to check so why came here?
(Asks with confusion )
Beca: can you please let my friend in. I don't think so I can do this without her.
Doctor : ooookaaayyyy. (Doctor asks for Chloe to come in)
Chloe : what happened. That was fast is everything okay.
Doctor : NO we haven't start check up yet .
Chloe : why? ( she looks at beca who was gazing down on her hands and clearly on a verge of tears.
Beca: I am not ready and I don't even know him I won't let him check my butt...
(Beca's regular doctor wasn't available at this time and Chloe kind of hurriedly booked her appointment with any other doctor available at this time)
Chloe : God, Baca we talked about this... You gotta check it once. Cum on it will quick and you wouldn't have to worry about.
Beca : I know but.. can you check it instead of him?
Chloe: No, how can I check it? I mean
Doctor : (being uncomfortable in this situation and look at his watch.) Ok you Chloe check her then answer my questions.
Chloe: l didn't sign up for this..of this is going to happen so why didn't you let me check at first place...(Chloe gritted under her breath and scold beca to which beca sheepishly smile.)
[Scene: Aubrey sat on table doing her paperwork . Stacie washes dishes, fat Amy cleans them. Jessica and Ashley cleaning Aubrey 's room, Flo cleans photo frames, Lily cleans basement, CR doing laundry ]
Jessica : Tell me next time when I get agree in your stupid plan.
Stacie : Hey! My plan wasn't stupid at all. It's just that stupid Aubrey's stupid punishment.
Aubrey : I heard that.
Fat Amy : I don't get it Aubrey. Why are you so mad it was just a joke.
Aubrey : the joke that wasn't funny at all that guy just cancels on our couple holiday plan. You guys meddle with my professional life.
Fat Amy : (to Stacie ) "Professional life?"
Aubrey : it was my one of embarrassing moment I could get fired.
All: Oh!
Aubrey : Yeah, oh... this punishment will remind you to not mess with me.
Fat Amy : but why Emily didn't get punishment?
Aubrey : Because I know you somehow drag her into that she wouldn't do that on her own. Perhaps I told her to revise all her notes two times after her assignment gets complete.
Flo: Something so sweet and...disturbing about that.
[Scene: At night, kitchen , Beca's searching food in fridge with sticking her butt out.]
Fat Amy : (sees the beca engrossed in fridge, smirks and slap Baca's butt ) Owww...oooow...(She clutches her hand in pain.)
Beca: I knew you would do that so I found a way to get back to you. Of course with the little help of Aubrey 's antic bowl collection. ( she taps her butt which is covered by Aubrey 's bowl)
Chloe: wait till she found.
End