Exhibit A:
It starts with an innocuous handwave, pointer finger like a magic wand.
Chuuya watches from behind the camera as Dazai regales his fans on the live broadcast, gamely reading comments and answering questions.
One of them read, "Can't wait for your new song!"
Dazai's eyes crinkle for only a split-second, and he waves his right hand in a small, sweeping circular motion, index finger up, as if to make a point. "Coming soon!"
It was really innocuous— maybe no one would notice.
Gossip sites suggest otherwise, however— to Chuuya's greatest fear, because as always, they are absolutely right .
"Did you just go and reveal the charm point of the chorus? Jesus, Dazai."
Damage control is going to be a horrendous affair, and Chuuya begins to calculate in his head how much he would have to pay to buy these people's silence. Hopefully it won't result in a huge cut in the profits later, but he'll just cross the bridge when he gets there.
Dazai only waggles his eyebrows, whistling innocently like this whole mess isn't his fault to begin with.
Hopefully, this'll be the last time.
Exhibit B:
It wasn't, in fact, the last time. Never tempt fate, as they say.
They're at a talk show guesting this time, and Dazai's only too gracious to engage in a way-too-long back-and-forth with the blatantly-obvious fangirl of a host. There were even a couple of mini-games involved.
No, make that three, Chuuya facepalms as the host brings out a whiteboard and some markers. She then proceeds to ask questions— dangerous ones, and he frantically attempts to make eye contact with Dazai from behind the director's chair, urgently telling him to shut up be careful dammit .
She asks him what phrase he is most hung-up on at the moment. Fortunately, Dazai returns the eye contact at this time, thinking for a moment before writing something short.
The answer, in full focus on the video feedback, gives Chuuya all but another goddamned heart attack.
"A line from the new song. Really , Dazai?" And he's this close to exploding right there and then, but they're still in the TV station building, so the full scolding will have to wait until they're home.
"It's neither the title nor the chorus, Chuuya. No need to worry." A smile.
Chuuya absolutely hates how that ridiculous smile manages to calm him down at once, but he dials back his anger for now and cross-checks with his timetable. "You're lucky this show airs a week before promotions begin. Management won't say anything this time."
He shoots Dazai a stern glare. "Be more careful next time. I can't keep covering for you forever."
Dazai's smile grows impish at this. "Oh, but I love it when you're all protective over me, O Great Manager Nakahara. It makes me feel special."
"It's my job, you Great Nuisance."
Exhibit C:
The press conference goes without a hitch, thankfully.
Granted, it's not about Dazai at all, but he's been invited to give a message of support for the upcoming auditions, and from the mass media's positive response to it, the marketing strategy proves to be successful.
Well, that's that, Chuuya closes the day with that thought, flopping down on the bed with his phone in hand. Dazai's already sleeping in the next room— he definitely needs the rest.
He opens his social media one last time— a nightly work routine to make sure nothing is amiss.
The first trending topic, however, makes him wish he didn't instead.
The video shows Dazai slightly off-frame, softly humming a tune while the judges are making small banter on camera. "Idol singer Dazai Osamu does it again! Is this a spoiler for his next comeback?"
Gods above .
The next morning, Dazai is reading the morning news from his phone. He blinks twice at the very news article that lost Chuuya valuable hours of sleep, and their gazes meet across the breakfast table.
"You hate me, I guess."
He snorts at that. "Very much, yes. Now eat."
Exhibit D:
They both needed this downtime, to be honest.
Dazai's always been invited to his class reunion since forever, but he's never had the time to attend until now. The minute he got the text, he only needed to look at Chuuya once, and the schedule for that day was cleared.
He's brought along as the plus-one, of course. "You're my partner-in-crime, and we've practically been attached at the hip since I debuted. We're as good as married at this point."
The last line makes Chuuya's ears as red as his hair, but he hides it with a subtle shake of his head to tousle the locks on his sides. Stupid Dazai really has to learn to watch what he says— it's a miracle he's survived this long in showbiz without so much as a major scandal on his track record.
All of that was Chuuya's work, of course. It's the sidekick's job to make sure the hero doesn't get in trouble.
The party's in full swing at this point, and everyone's had at least 3-4 shots each between plates of yakiniku and rounds of karaoke. As much as Chuuya wants to drink, too, he's the designated driver for tonight, so he'll have to make do later at home.
Dazai promised to join him then, so there's that.
The current song goes into the instrumental, and Dazai breaks into a dance, everyone gathering around him in a circle as he busts move after move like he owns them.
And Chuuya's eyes widen more and more— both in awe and in alarm, as pictures and videos of Dazai are being taken.
Hopefully, these classmates of his will have the common decency to not upload leaks of the whole dance break part of the new MV onto any form of social media whatsoever. The resulting legalities will probably just drive them away from him, and Dazai doesn't need that at all .
Chuuya sighs.
"You're a damn handful, you know that," he ends up saying later to a dead-drunk Dazai, head bowed and arms sprawled over their counter. The freshly-poured whiskey in his hand remains untouched, so Chuuya takes the glass from him and downs it himself.
He loves Dazai, really, but he loves his alone time, too.
Exhibit E:
First major concert. Chuuya couldn't be any prouder.
No major restrictions on the MC topics, too, so Dazai couldn't be any happier. "Yes, you can talk about your next single. Knock yourself out."
"Gladly." And Dazai embraces him tightly, all sweat and glitter, and the scent of that mixed with strong perfume assaults his nose all at once, and it takes all of Chuuya's self-control to not sneeze into the flashy costume. Stupid allergic rhinitis.
"Go on," he says. "Make me proud."
Dazai only beams at him, before running up the stage.
An hour and fifteen minutes into the show, Chuuya begins to relax. Everything's going really well, and he couldn't be any happier for it. Dazai deserves this much success after working so hard, and although he's a real pain at times, he's an amazing person through and through.
The third MC section starts, and Dazai begins to talk about his new single. It's a classic pop number, as is his usual trademark, albeit with hints of New Jack Swing weaved into it that make the song catchy and dance-able.
Dazai himself produced all the songs this time. So much pride.
The talk ends, and Dazai gets into place for the next song. The stage lights dim— this wasn't in the show plan. Chuuya panics as he looks around, but everyone's eyes are glued onto the single spotlight at the center, as Dazai reappears with an acoustic guitar.
"This next song's a B-side from the new single," he explains. "It's a heartfelt ballad I wrote for the one true love of my life."
Chuuya grits his teeth. Spoiling snippets is one thing, but a whole-ass B-side ? That's not—
"Nakahara Chuuya," Dazai croons into the mic, "I love you so much. You've always been there since Day One, when you oh-so-brutally woke me up and drove us to our first music show. You're brash yet gentle, strict yet kind, and so beautiful always, inside and out."
Chuuya's mouth is agape. What in Holy Eve's Name —
"I would love nothing but to spend the rest of my life with you, if you will have me." And Dazai smiles that smile of his, sending his heart racing in anticipation of the next words: "Will you marry me, my dear Great Manager?"
It takes all his self-control to not crumble on the spot.
"Shit, I hate you, you know that," Chuuya tries not to cry as he is handed a mic by the staff, who he belatedly realizes are all in this, too. Damn it.
He is pushed onto the stage, a spotlight following his path until he meets Dazai in the center, and both lights are now joined as one.
Your call, Dazai's eyes seem to say— and he probably meant how entertaining or how witty Chuuya's answer should be, given that it's a concert and all. Half of the fans are probably here for a happy ending, but he doesn't care about that.
He's Dazai's brutal manager for a reason.
"You really shouldn't be spoiling your songs like this if you really love me," he admonishes for real, this time. "It's always hard to clean up after you every time this happens."
Dazai only nods attentively, as if he were accepting a pre-condition. His eyes remain hopeful, though, and Chuuya smiles, putting down the mic and beckoning Dazai closer.
He whispers his answer into Dazai's ear, and grins in earnest as his now-fiancé is radiant with joy, the whole stadium erupting into great applause at the news.
Chuuya beams, too, tenderly clutching a hand to his chest. The happiness of tonight greatly overrides the impending stress of the interviews and guestings and press conferences he'll probably have to arrange after this, but all of that can wait until next week, for all he cares.
Tonight's about them, after all, spoiled songs and scandals and social media things be damned.
Exhibit A, Take 2:
Osamu's streaming again, this time from their house. Chuuya had tried to get his husband to move to the living room, at least, where there's a table and a sofa and all, but the insufferable idiot insisted that the reception by the entryway is the best.
That's true and all, but still .
The live broadcast is in full swing, and Osamu gleefully answers comment after comment about their married life— with much discretion, of course. No need to let the fans know what they do in bed, really.
"Another spoiler for my single? Ah, but I promised!"
Chuuya nods approvingly at the answer. Osamu's been good about keeping that promise since they got engaged. That's one less headache to deal with in the long run, at least.
"Oh, two minutes left," his husband smiles. "Thank you all so much for joining me tonight. I hope you all enjoyed—"
Just then, a building-wide announcement is broadcasted over the PA system, the sound of which could be heard very clearly from where Osamu's standing with his phone. Some private information is being read out, and it sends Chuuya into instant overdrive. Ohgods—
He immediately dashes over, takes the phone from Osamu's hand, and loudly sings the first song that comes to mind.
Osamu only stands there, dumbstruck, as Chuuya finishes the entire first verse and chorus of the upcoming A-side, without missing a beat. The building announcement is already over by then, and only then does he relax visibly, still shuddering from his nervous breakout.
"Good," Chuuya rasps in between breaths, "I hope your fans didn't hear that." Only then does he realize what he had just done, and he frantically brings up the comment section, which is on rapid-fire now.
"Oh gods, " he whispers in horror at the same time Osamu gleefully says, "Oh, Chuuya!" with that wicked smile on his face that totally spells blackmail.
The live broadcast ends shortly after, and they pad into the kitchen together to get some water. "That was intentional, wasn't it?"
"We've lived here for three years now," Osamu reasons. "You know exactly when and how often the regular announcements are being broadcast in this building. I'm surprised you didn't see this coming, really."
Chuuya's shoulders only slump in defeat at that. He's totally been had . "I hate you sometimes, you know that?"
"I know," Osamu affirms. "You love me the rest of the other times, so that's that."
"Yeah, I do," Chuuya snorts, "so stop giving me a heart attack every time."
"Duly noted."