Author's Note: This is coming along a little faster than I anticipated, so here is another update! I appreciate all the reviews and eagerly await your reactions. Some questions will be answered in this chapter. I have one more chapter before the assembly (when they first meet), and then we shall see where it goes from there. I loved that a couple reviews mentioned A Christmas Carol- I hadn't made that connection before, but I certainly see the possible similarities with Darcy learning some lessons during his trials. I also didn't come to this with a "fix-it" mentality, as I think everything that goes wrong is precisely the beauty of their relationship. We'll see how the rest plays out!
Darcy concentrated on the coolness of the marble column as he steadied himself, his head bowing in frustration. He breathed in and then breathed out slowly. He would not let himself be defeated. As he often did when presented with a problem in the management of Pemberley, he would need a plan. But first, he needed to find her.
He left the breakfast room and headed for the next logical place he could think of- the sitting room. He walked more calmly than he felt, torn between slowing his progression through the memory and reaching Elizabeth quickly. He was relieved to find Bingley, Caroline, and Elizabeth calmly situated in the sitting room. Elizabeth was reading, and Bingley and Caroline sat next to each other opposite of her.
"Mr. Darcy, thank goodness you have finally joined us. It is an incredibly dull day," Caroline exclaimed, rising from where she sat next to Bingley. Elizabeth glanced only momentarily at him, then flickered her eyes back her book.
"Would anyone like to accompany me on a walk?" he asked, looking directly at Elizabeth. Sensing she was being spoken to directly, Elizabeth raised her head and looked at him, then glanced at Caroline and Bingley skeptically.
"What a marvelous idea! A stroll through the garden sounds absolutely delightful," Caroline replied and began to step towards Darcy to be escorted out.
Darcy, suddenly wishing Caroline would be the one vanishing from his memory, ignored her entirely and moved towards Elizabeth, standing directly in front of her.
"Miss Elizabeth?"
Clearly not wanting to appear rude, Elizabeth nodded and stood. Darcy grabbed her gently by the arm and began leading her out of the room. As they crossed the doorway, he turned and slammed the door shut to prevent Caroline from joining them. Whether it would work or not, he had no idea, but it seemed like a clever idea.
"Mr. Darcy!" Elizabeth gasped at him, both for his insistent in leading her by the arm and for his sudden shunning of his hosts.
"They will be fine. We need to leave immediately," he said, encouraging her down the hall.
"Sir, what is the matter?" she asked, her voice severe.
"Many things. Please, trust me," he said, leading her back down the corridor. The doors to each room down the corridor were swung open in front of them and inside one he saw a brief image of Mrs. Bennet and a gaggle of Bennet sisters.
"What an excellent room you have, Sir! Such expensive furnishings…"
Elizabeth, who was still allowing herself to be led, craned her neck in shock to see her mother unexpectedly in the room as they passed. Darcy and Elizabeth shared a grimace at Mrs. Bennet's words.
"When did mama arrive?" Elizabeth asked, coming to a halt. Darcy was forced to stop with her. "I need to prevent her from completely embarrassing Jane," she said, tugged herself in the opposite direction he was trying to lead her.
"Wait, wait. She's not really here. I can explain everything to you in due time, but we must leave Netherfield. We are not safe here," Darcy tightened the grip on her arm slightly to emphasize his point and prayed that Elizabeth would heed him. His seriousness concerned her enough to continue walking with him, but she pulled her arm out of his grip.
"If you insist. I can follow you," she said plainly. Darcy nodded and hastened his pace out the main entry way, taking the steps down two at a time.
"We should go to the woods," he said and turned back. Elizabeth was not there.
His eyes widen, but as he swung forward, he saw her at the Bennet carriage, along with her family.
Bingley was handing Miss Bennet into the carriage, and Elizabeth was saying farewell to Caroline. Darcy darted to them, grabbing Elizabeth's hand as she stepped up into the carriage that would take her back to Longbourne. She glanced back at him, only halfway up, and this time, Darcy did not let go. He held her gaze intently.
"Come with me, Miss Elizabeth," he pulled her hand, and she took his cue and stepped down from the carriage. "We must hide somewhere, anywhere else, and you must stay there until morning. My happiness depends on it."
"Whatever do you mean?" she asked, walking briskly next to him as his pace quickened, pulling her away from Netherfield. Their hands were now entwined, as he was not going to make the mistake of letting her out of his sight again.
There was a loud crash and the sound of stone cracking behind them. They both paused to look back, and Elizabeth gasped as she watched Netherfield begin to crumble. Elizabeth moved towards the building, but Darcy grabbed her by the waist to restrain her gently. He could see the Bennets and Bingleys were no where to be seen.
"There is no one there. Everything will be alright," Darcy said gently to her, really reassuring himself as he began moving them away again.
Walking as briskly as he could manage, he took them past the trees that stood near the path to the estate, and then began leading them through the woods.
He felt a sense of foreboding behind him, as he was certain the memory of their time together of Netherfield was evaporated with the destruction of the edifice. How much time did he have? He picked up his pace to a run, and she obliged, trying to keep up with his wide strides.
"Mr. Darcy, while I am very fond of walking, I would like an answer to my question before we go further. Where are we going? What do you mean we must hide?" she asked breathlessly.
They were somewhere on the walk between Longbourne and Netherfield and had come across a grove of trees. He remembered this from a ride he had taken during his visit. Since they had never been in such a place together, he felt safe that the scene would not disappear around him.
"Miss Elizabeth, please trust me. And this is going to sound as if I have gone mad, and perhaps I have because this is all in my head, but I did something I should not have done. I visited an apothecary and requested some kind of drink that would erase my memories of you if I drank it. All of it. So that is what I did. It is erasing my memories of you one by one." The explanation tumbled out of him, and he looked at her self-consciously, lost about what to do. She starred at him incredulously, her head cocking to the side as a small smile began to form.
"My goodness. Why would you do a thing like that? I know our time together has been a little uncomfortable, but why could you not just leave Netherfield and return to the varied society of London? It is not as if we are part of the same social circles. This is very strange, Mr. Darcy!" Elizabeth said with a smile, clearly teasing him. He enjoyed being on the receiving end of her teasing, even though it slightly unsettled him given his current emotional distress.
She found her way to a fallen tree log and took a seat, not caring if her coat or dress were sullied. He thought she looked lovely with her dark hair up, several strands escaping from her bun due to their exertion, looking at him like he was out of his mind, which he most certainly was, he reminded himself, since he was talking to a figment entirely of his imagination.
"It is quite the opposite. You don't know it yet, and frankly at this time in our acquaintance, I barely know it myself, but I love you." How natural it felt to express his love for her. "But," he continued, "you will decline my offer, and I will take the easiest way out on a whim. Trust me, Miss Elizabeth, I do not want to forget you, even if it means living with your rejection."
Elizabeth was startled by his confession. "You love me? But you do not even like me. It is commonly known you are above being pleased and above the company in Hertfordshire. Considering how I am only tolerable, and not so accomplished as say, Miss Bingley." By the end of her statement, she had recovered from the shock and wanted to bait him, "You hardly speak to me," she finished, managing to sound incredulous and wounded at the same time. Darcy felt the sudden desire to explain, but not defend, himself.
"I talk to you more than others. And I am more interested in your thoughts above anyone else's. I found our conversations during your stay at Netherfield most stimulating. Please do not only think on my first impression of you at the assembly," Darcy softened his voice as he continued, "I have reevaluated my position and have long since considered you one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance." He smiled as Elizabeth's cheeks pinked while she valiantly tried to appear unmoved by his compliment.
"I will not even address what you said about Miss Bingley, as you very well know she irritates me beyond measure," Darcy said, somewhat exasperatedly. Not wanting to upset the balance of the log she was resting on by sitting on it, he took a spot beside her on the ground, raising one knee up to prop his arm on it. He looked up at her, wanting to keep her in sight in case she started to disappear. Her head was tilted to the side and her eyebrows crinkled as she pushed her palms down on the log, clearly lost in thought.
"Well, that is very curious. I suppose our conversations have been interesting. But you say I declined your offer? Of marriage?"
"Yes, Miss Elizabeth, what other offer could I make to the daughter of a gentleman?"
Elizabeth smirked slightly at his cheekiness, and continued, "I will admit that presently, a proposal from you would surprise me. You should know Mr. Darcy, and perhaps I will tell you this in the future, that only the deepest affection will inspire me to marry, so perhaps that is why I declined your offer?"
"That may have been helpful for me to know, Miss Elizabeth. But I was rendered ignorant by my own assumptions that you felt the same way I did, or at the very least, would not reject me." Darcy struggled through his thoughts, wondering if this conversation would become too unpleasant for him. However, speaking with her about this seemed better than nothing.
"Furthermore, you will have reasons to deny me. Justifiably so. I understand them better now than I did on that day, or even yesterday. I was so self-assured you felt the way I did because how could you not?" Elizabeth scoffed quietly at his statement, but Darcy continued, "I was wrong. You have seen my behavior up until now. I have done very little to be worthy of your passion and affection."
"Oh, no, Mr. Darcy, upon some reflection, I think you have done things to be worthy of my passionate opinions. They just have not been as favorable as you may like. It actually annoys me greatly that I am anything but indifferent to you," Elizabeth interrupted.
It was so very nice to talk with her. To sit with her, so closely and intimately, when she looked at him with amusement rather than hatred and derision, he did not want to ruin it, but even in his own mind, he abhorred any kind of deceit. He looked up to her, his pale blue eyes looking pained.
"Yes, I know you are not indifferent. You express your anger with me most eloquently," when Elizabeth looked surprise at this revelation of her own openness with him, he shook his head. "No, believe me, I gave you plenty of reason for incivility. In a misguided preamble to my proposal, I insult your family. I must beg your forgiveness on the next thing I am about to say. Another reason you reject me is because I am, or was, a willing participant in a plot to separate Bingley from Miss Jane Bennet."
"Sir?" Elizabeth questioned, her eyes narrowing as she looked down at him, challenging him to continue. She seemed not at all interested in anything else he had said. What mattered now was the peril to her sister's happiness.
"I believed your sister indifferent to him."
"Indifferent? My sister hardly…"
"Shows her true feelings to you, I know, that is exactly you say when you reject me and subsequently tell me I am the last man in the world you could ever be prevailed upon to marry," Darcy managed to keep the bitterness out of his voice. How dramatic her statement had been! This actually amused him slightly now, with a little more distance from the event. In fact, he now wondered how often she had thought about not marrying him. Yes, it was much better than indifference.
Elizabeth's eyebrows raised, and then her eyes softened, "I must have been very angry with you to say such a thing." Darcy looked away, but she continued, "I can see why you were hurt, for a person you love to say something like that. I suppose with everything you said though, cannot some of it be righted? You could apologize to me, the real me, for what you said about my family, and you could reunite Mr. Bingley and Jane."
"Yes. I am afraid I will not have the chance to the latter if I wake up with no memory of my folly to begin with. I am sorry for that, as I believe Bingley cares about your sister very much."
Elizabeth seemed heartened to hear that. "Perhaps, there will be a way to make things right. We must figure it out, for Jane's sake, and if you truly do not want to forget about me, then for your sake too. Mr. Darcy, you said whatever this mixture is was erasing memories of me, one by one?" Darcy nodded, looking up at her again. He was slightly disappointed she seemed more concerned for Miss Bennet than for herself or him.
"Yes. They disappear one by one. I relive them, mostly as they happened to me," he cleared his throat a little, "And then you disappear."
"Why haven't I disappeared yet?" she asked curiously, holding out her hands as if expecting to find them suddenly translucent, clearly intrigued by this game.
"I imagine because this is all…well, it is make believe. I visited these trees once when I was out riding, but we have never been here together. I think if I can keep you somewhere you are not supposed to be, perhaps I will still remember you in the morning. If something remains of you inside my memory, tucked away."
"But are not these trees on a hill overlooking Longbourn?" she asked unexpectedly, lifting her head and looking in the opposite direction from where they came.
"Yes, I believe so-" Darcy interrupted himself and stood up suddenly, causing a rustle of the dried leaves below him, remembering the ride he took when he first found this grove after she and Miss Bennet had departed Netherfield, and how he had surveyed Longbourn from it with a small hope he would run into Elizabeth on one of her walks. His thoughts in this cluster of trees had been filled entirely with Elizabeth. Her charms. Their conversations at Netherfield. Her suitability. Her as his wife. "You're right, we should go." As if on cue, he noticed the trees around him begin to lose their clearly defined shape. They'd been found. He seized both her hands, lifting her to her feet to try to run again.
"Mr. Darcy, you need to hide me somewhere deeper. Somewhere far away from Hertfordshire, far away from the time our acquaintance, before we met" Elizabeth said, her voice sounding suddenly very far away.
"I cannot think of anything other than you," he replied, panicked.
Elizabeth tilted her head, smiling. "Well that is very sweet and certainly surprising, Mr. Darcy, but you must try," she gripped his hands tightly. "For me, and Jane, and Mr. Bingley. You must try."
Darcy could see the darkness growing around them. He held onto her hands, and then closed his eyes, determined to find a place to hide her until morning in the deep recess of his memory.
Author's Note: Oh goodness! Where will they end up? Thank you for taking the time to review, and I can't wait to hear from you all again! Next update will be by Sunday!