Hey everyone, sorry I disappeared but I went on an extended holiday- a much needed break.
I visited Cornwall which is an amazing part of the UK, long sandy beaches, crashing waves and dramatic cliffs. If you ever get a chance to come to the UK then visit, don't just stay in London- there is so much more to the UK than London ( which is great and my hometown). We had a heat wave (by our standards) so it was a brilliant time, loads of relaxing plus eating of crab and lobster. Almost forgot about the Pandemic; back to reality now!
Stuck back at home ( it's raining!) so returned to this story- hopefully there might be still be someone who wants to read it!
Dreadful news about Chadwick Boseman; so very young and vibrant. An extremely beautiful soul.
Beyond sad. My heartfelt condolences to his family and friends.
BTW, I haven't forgotten about the dog!
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There was a long silence whilst Steve tried to collect himself; Peter was staring at the ground, Morgan looking between them curiously.
The elevator arrived at the penthouse; Morgan skipped happily over to Pepper leaving man and boy locked in their silent battle of wills.
''You are not drinking Mountain Dew just before bedtime and you are not too old for bedtime. You are home now and the rules have not changed, it's up to you how you behave right now. But you will face the consequence of any choices you make- that hasn't changed either,'' Steve said very quietly and calmly.
It was a front, internally he was suffering considerable turmoil and uncertainty how to behave towards his youngest son; he really wanted to hug him, hold him tight and never let go ever again. Rationally, he knew it was his duty to be the father Peter knew- the father he trusted, the father who was strong and loving, who provided the protection and comfort he desperately needed. It was just so hard, especially when Peter was being challenging and difficult.
Peter glanced at Steve, his face wearing that look kids do so well when they know they are busted.
''Can I have some ice cream? I missed ice cream,'' Peter asked quietly.
''Yes, you can ice-cream after dinner but no Mountain Dew,'' Steve replied firmly, guilt washing over him.
He reminded himself that Peter had been through a very traumatic experience and whilst both Steve and Tony just wanted their old lives back- that was not a process that could be rushed.
Plus, they had to adjust to the fact that it would not be the same as before, that was an impossible dream. They had all changed and there was one very notable absence, a person who was irreplaceable and left a huge hole in all their lives.
Steve was eaten away with worry and anxiety- how were they going to tell Peter about the loss of his mother? How much should they tell him? Even that was complicated and delicate, however they couldn't put it off forever in case he found out by accident which was unthinkable.
Peter sighed loudly, booted the wall one last time and strolled out of the elevator.
Steve took a moment, sighing heavily- he could really use Tony's support right now but he was on his own so would have to cope.
Morgan was already entertaining the seated Avengers with a song and a dance and they were cheering and encouraging her- all enchanted by the precocious little girl.
Peter was standing at the counter staring at her incredulously, Harley beside him.
The older boy leaned forward and said something in Peter's ear, he nodded.
They walked towards the elevator, clearly planning to leave but Pepper stepped in front of them.
''No you stay here. We are having dinner and you guys are helping me- you can set the table,'' she told them, she didn't ask- she told them.
Neither boy argued, they just did Pepper's bidding as most people did.
Steve blew out an exasperated sigh- re-blending this family was not going to be easy. Morgan was used to being the centre of attention whilst Peter and Harley had already reformed as the dastardly duo.
Dinner was going to be interesting!
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''You should be eating this, it's your favourite right?'' Peter dumped a tuna roll on Morgan's plate.
She glared at him and before anyone could react, she threw it at her brother.
Peter reacted instantly and patted it right back, his aim true and clear. It hit Morgan straight in the face and she began to wail.
''Get if off daddy!'' she screamed as she rubbed her face.
''Go to your room now!'' Steve snapped at Peter whilst he tried to pacify his daughter, cleaning her face with a napkin.
The adults all looked at each other, so this was awkward. They all remained silent, not feeling they could intervene despite the fact they wanted to. Steve was so wound up and far too harsh with Peter but no-one was brave enough to say so.
''Don't have one of those anymore because I don't have a home but whatever!'' Peter rose and left quickly, Harley just behind him.
Steve recoiled at Peter's accusation. What did he say to that?
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''Which one?'' Peter asked Harley as he surveyed the row of cars; their father's treasured possessions.
Harley shrugged. He knew this was a terrible idea, the worst but he was powerless to say no to Peter; he desperately wanted to make Peter happy- see him smile, make his eyes light up the way they always used to. So against his better judgement he acquiesced.
''The fastest one,'' he replied with a cringe.
''This one then,'' Peter leapt into the red Lamborghini and Harley joined him swiftly.
''Coney Island, here we come!'' Peter roared as Harley ground the gears but somehow managed to pull away with a screech.
Peter squealed in delight and Harley laughed- that was better- there was the brother he knew.
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''FRI, take control of the car and turn them around. Tell Steve to come see me,'' Tony said wearily and fell back against the pillows.
What were they going to do? They had wished for this, dreamed about having their family reunited but as is often the case, dreams have a habit not to live up to expectations.
They had moved on, evolved and it was not that easy to fall back into the regular family dynamic they once enjoyed.
Steve appeared at the door minutes later- his face filled with guilt and worry.
''I know, Friday is bringing them back. What the..'' Tony pinched the bridge of his nose.
''Peter and Morgan were fighting, I sent Peter to his room,'' Steve was incredulous that their sons would steal a car again, especially Harley.
''I am kinda at a loss here Tones, its not the same. I don't know how to be,'' Steve revealed his insecurity and helplessness to the one person he could.
''I know, I know. Come here,'' Tony held his arms out and his husband walked over, they held each other for a while- needing comfort in this uncertain of moments.
They had always found their role as parents a strength but the rug had been pulled out from them; leaving both men struggling to adjust to this new reality.
Steve stood up, he smiled shyly as he wiped away some tears. Tony sighed, everyone was hurting and that was unacceptable, totally unacceptable.
''Need to get these kids home, our real home. Get them away from the city and chaos then we can somehow settle them down. Get our family back on track,'' Tony had already arranged the transfer, he was well enough to be moved.
''Yes, we should leave. All the kids need to be away from here. Then we may have a chance to salvage our family,'' Steve was drawn and stressed.
''It will be easier at the lake, just us and no pressure. It's time to take our family home and spend some time healing. Just us,no distractions. The world will have to take care of itself for once,'' Tony said firmly, his mind set.
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Harley raised his hands from the steering wheel as the car did a safe and proficient u turn- heading home.
''Dad?'' Peter asked and Harley nodded- their parents were in control.
''I am sorry Harls, I didn't want to leave. I am sorry you got hurt cos of me,'' Peter stared at his brother with shining eyes.
''I know little bro, I know. It was not your fault, it was mine,'' Harvey smiled at him and blew out a sigh.
''They will be pissed Pete,'' he added and Peter nodded. The young boy bit his lip, took a deep breath, deciding to be brave.
''Where's my mom Harls?''
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Harley froze, he panicked, it was not his place. This was definitely his parents' domain.
He had no idea how to reply, he didn't know the full story. All he knew was that Natasha had sacrificed herself, sacrificed herself to save the world, save them all; the main thing he knew for certain was that she was gone and would never return, not dead but gone. He really didn't think his brother could handle that fact right now.
''I can't tell you Pete,'' Harley stuttered and Peter stared at his brother, his eyes clouded.
''That's what I figured,'' Peter whispered quietly, he swallowed back the huge lump of tears rising in his throat; he had to be brave, his mother would expect him to be brave.
He stared blankly out of the window.
Harley glanced at him, then cringed when Peter gave out a soft sob as he lost the hopeless battle against his distress and grief.
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The car pulled into the parking bay and Harley saw Steve standing with his arms folded; a very formidable expression on his face.
He was mad as hell, Harley didn't really blame him; this had been such a terrible idea but Harley had wanted to make his little brother happy.
He climbed from the car, Peter didn't move- lost in his own world. Harley knew he was in shock.
''Dad, I'm sorry okay?'' Harley attempted to preempt the inevitable blasting. He failed!
''What were thinking? Seriously what were you thinking? After all we went through, what you went through! You do this!'' Steve yelled as he strode over to the car.
Harley flinched, not comfortable with the reminder of his ultimate transgression although he knew his dad was right.
''I know, I know, okay? I get it, okay? But… you have to stop yelling. You really need to stop, just stop!'' Harley held out his hands in a vain attempt to ward off his raging father; he glanced back at his brother who still hadn't moved. Suddenly, Peter looked so small, so lost and sad: alone in his pain and hurt, completely alone.
''Peter guessed about Aunt Natasha,'' Harley said in a low voice which made Steve pull up immediately.
''Whaaaat?'' he was horrified. He stared at his eldest son then over at his younger boy, who was white as a sheet and so very still, staring away into the void.
''I didn't tell him, I didn't. He asked, I said nothing and somehow he just kinda knew,'' Harley explained as he stepped back- he had complete faith that Steve would know what to do- he was wrong.
Steve had no clue, no clue how to explain the inexplicable, how to sooth his baby's pain. He took a moment; he had no choice but to go with his paternal instincts. For now, he would do what he could to comfort his little boy.
''Upstairs now Harley,'' he said firmly and Harley walked reluctantly away; he kept looking back, fiercely protective of Peter.
''Hey Buddy,'' Steve opened the car door and crouched down. Peter hitched in a stammering breath and turned his head unsteadily, he was shaking. He stared at his father, seemingly lost for no words.
'' How about we go inside bubba?'' the adult said gently and Peter's face completely crumpled. He flung his arms around Steve's neck, no longer even attempting to control his pain.
''Okay, okay. I gotcha Bubba, I've got you,'' Steve stood up with him in his arms as Peter cried piteously on his shoulder. He walked slowly over to the elevator.
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Comment and any suggestions are welcome.