Next morning, Joelle went to her place. I asked her why she wouldn't just stay. She could move in with me at once, as I had asked her to but she said she still didn't feel I was committed to our relationship enough. If I'm the one who asked her to take a step further, how the fuck I'm not that invested in us? If only she knew what I had done for her, that I turned down Anna's kiss for her, she'd think differently. She has no idea the kind of history Anna and I have, how difficult it was for me and how I broke her heart to get away from her, to be faithful. And God knows that the last thing I've ever wanted was to hurt Anna. No matter what there will always be a special place for her in my heart.

On her way out, Joelle accidentally knocked out a picture frame and mumbled something I didn't catch. I held her arm and asked her what the matter was, and she simply said she'd see me later. The look in her blue eyes screamed 'Give me space, Remy.'.

After she left, I went to clean up the mess and I saw the picture in that frame and something finally clicked in the right place, a piece of the puzzle. Well, perhaps, she does know or imagines just how much history we have. At that point, I knew what Joelle had meant when she accused me of not being committed to us. The frame I came to realize she had deliberately knocked down held a picture of me and Anna, a beautiful one, my favorite one of all. There are some pictures of us that you can see the lust, the passion in our eyes, those are plain sexy, but this one, she looks absolutely adorable, beautiful, like an angel and happy, truly happy. It's there so I remember I've made ma chére blissfully happy once.

I always kept that picture on a frame, it was taken on a night out back in Valle Soleada, I was so in love with her, I could have proposed to her that night. I definitely felt like marrying her back then, we were so happy, so right. In fact, we were so joyous that I was afraid putting a label on it would ruin it all. She's got her wild ways and a lack of sophistication when dealing with love and relationships that is hard to ignore. I was afraid if I tried to get more than what we had, I'd scare her away, I'd ruin the perfect balance we had those days. How did we go so wrong?

Then, my thoughts were back to the present, and I thought of Joelle. I convinced her to stop looking for a way to end her life, and what for? For this? To break her heart? To daydream and fall back in love with my ex? I couldn't do that, I was adamant I wouldn't do that.

I fetched the picture off the floor. No matter what happened, what we did to each other, I wanted to keep it, us, our smiles, that memory of us. I would sweep the glass off the floor later, I decided. I took another good look at it, and sighed heavily. I opened my closet then I kept it inside a coat pocket, one I rarely ever wear. That's when I decided, I wouldn't look for her to apologize. How could that help me? I'd probably put myself in the dangerous position of being close to her and denying her a kiss, a touch, or worst even, sex. I don't know if I could be that strong. Last time we had sex, it was so great. We were always incredible in bed. Even when she was an inexperienced virgin, the chemistry we have is and has always been unbelievable. It made up for the lack of experience. She always purrs in my ear when I enter her and I'm already wishing I could fuck her every day, for the rest of my life, forever and a day. You know that sex love? I feel like saying I love her every time and sometimes I feel like I'm out of love and then we go and have sex and then bang, in an instant my dick decides that yes, I love her. I'm forever in love with her. No other woman makes me feel that way. No other woman gets me confused like that.

I've always been quite good in compartmentalization. I know when it's love and when it's just the sex. With Joelle, I think it's love or maybe, some sort of tenderness at least. I care about her, in a way I haven't cared for any other woman that wasn't Rogue in a very long time. I'd better do this right.

We're back to New York and my encounter with Remy now seems like something out of a wet dream turned into a nightmare. After that night, he called me non-stop for a couple of days. I couldn't find it in me to answer the phone. I knew I'd break down and cry and I don't want him to know that I still hurt, that I still miss him, miss him like fucking crazy. I probably still love that dirty thief, the fucking swamp rat. Oh, I remember his eyes, his lips, and the mean words that left them, and my lips are trembling and I'm fighting the urge to cry. When facing that kind of longing, that kind of pain, I do what I know how to do best, immerse myself in work. So that's what I did.

Weeks go by, and the memory of him is fading away again. One late night, I hear a timid knock on my door. 'Who can it be?' I think to myself while I creep out of bed.

"Alex? I wasn't expecting you." I say bluntly, as unmannerly as I could possibly act.

"Hi, Anna. Haven't seen too much of you lately. I was wondering if you are okay."

At the incredulous look I had most probably thrown at him, he continued. "Oh! Anna, this isn't about us, I mean, er... I didn't come here for, you know. I don't expect us to... I just came here as your friend. Trust me on this one."

"No, it's okay, Alex. Seriously, it's okay. It's just that, nobody ever comes by over here. I guess this is more an X-Men think to do, don't you think, sugar?" I then told him how I was having a Game of Thrones marathon and he was thrilled to join me in bed so we could watch it together.

"We could get some popcorn!" He suggested enthusiastically.

"I have vodka! We could mix it up with something, juice, maybe?"

And we headed to the kitchen, laughing and talking loudly. I was busy trying to find a bowl when Logan showed up, and raided the fridge for a beer. We invited him to join us but he refused.

"You kids go ahead and have fun. But I gotta say, it does warm my heart seeing you like that, reminds me of the good old days."

"It does, doesn't it, Wolvie? I had just commented on that."

We headed back to my bedroom and we watched three or four episodes before he took his cue and said it would probably be best to call it a day. He had to rest and sleep well to be in good shape for the next day.

I stood up to lead him to the door when he looked into my eyes and smiled, telling me he had a great time. He accidentally let it slip that it reminded him of what it was like for him to lay in bed with Lorna, talking, watching their favorite things together.

"I guess I have a thing for girls with weird hair." He commented and I laughed out loud at his remark. "I sometimes miss her." He confessed. "I miss having someone like her in my life, someone that knows me so well, someone I love and trust."

My heart went out for him, I knew what he was talking about. She means to him what Remy means to me. His eyes, his longing eyes staring into mine... they were more than I could take so, on an impulse, I kissed him. He kissed me back. My hands went into his blond hair as our kiss grew more passionate. He took me in his arms and back to bed. I undressed, he undressed, we had sex. End of story.

Suddenly I am lying on my stomach and he is on top of me, fucking me from behind. The welcome burden of his weight, his legs on either side of me, our connection, all of it is driving me crazy. One hand of his interlaces with one of mine, which I find oddly and unexpectedly romantic, while the other hand toys with my clit. My moaning grows louder and I am at my most primal when his lips brush my ear, I am about to come and then, then... I'm totally screwed up. That's so not what I needed.

"Mmmm, you're so great, babe. I love you, Anna."

It was too late and he ended up drifting off after sex and so did I. And that's how he slept with me in my bed for the very first time. In hindsight I know exactly why I let him stay, I didn't want to kick him out after he said he loved me, even though I know for a fact they were just empty words motivated by an orgasm. But still, it would be harsh, wouldn't it?

Four weeks later, we decide to attend The Jean Grey School For Gifted Youngsters Fundraising Gala at last minute. We thought we'd be out of town with the Avengers and so regretfully declined the invitation. Things changed and we were free. We didn't tell Ororo we were coming and decided it would be a surprise. Who needs their name on the list? We are X-Men, the three of us, before anything else, of course they would welcome us and let us in.

Ororo always puts up an spectacular star-studded black-tie event that features cocktails, a seated dinner, a live auction of luxury items, musical performances, and a special tribute to our beloved late Charles Xavier and Jean Grey.

Their Gala has become one of New York City's most successful and high-profile benefit events. The Gala consistently attracts—and salutes—some of the biggest names in entertainment, fashion, art, and obviously, prominent mutants and members of the superhero community. Showing acceptance to our mutant race was considered very open minded and cool within the rich, artsy and fashionable community.

We were having a great time, sipping on champagne and reminiscing on the good old times when out of the corner of my eye I see him arriving looking like a million dollars. He was not alone, it was him and her, that woman... I got the impression I've seen her before. I thought long and hard and I remembered, she was the one I had the displeasure of finding waking up by his side in the middle of the snow last year when he got entangled in all kinds of webs of bullshit.

So that was it, I know him, that's why he didn't kiss me, he's having something for real with this lady. He could be many things that dirty thief of mine, I mean, of hers, but he's not a cheater. Not when he's in a relationship that is for real, that means something to him.

The very moment our eyes met, I felt that funny fuzzy feeling in my stomach. I held my gaze for a moment and his face went pale. He looked like a deer caught in headlights, it made me want to laugh for I couldn't remember a situation when he hasn't acted cool. And I smiled despite myself. That could be interesting.

So here I am in a X-Men party with my X-Man boyfriend when he sees his ex-X-Men-girlfriend. This is proving to be too much hassle and I start questioning if he's worth all this trouble. I take a quick glance and decide, this good looking and sexy in his black suit and tie, yes, he's totally worth it. He goes all rigid at the sight of her, trying to disguise she has any effect on him, he turns his attention to me and kisses me. Well, at least that comes to show he respects me and is trying hard to get past the ghost of her to be with me. When our lips part, I look at him and smile. What a silly little boy, he really thinks he can fool me. He forgets that I've lived the amount of years of his age four times. I know men, he's not absurdly different than any of them. But I still like him anyway. He's charming and naive. Hell, when you're almost 120 years of age, everyone is naive to you.

I see her smiling at him and I hate her. You never knew what to do with him or what you wanted from him, darling. Too bad for you, I do. I slid one hand down to his ass and pressed my body into his, kissing him again. This time I make sure she is watching. I know that kind of girl, immature, indecisive, when she sees her beau moving on, that's when she decides she wanted him all along. Guess what, darling. You won't get what you want. Not this time.

-O-

A/N - I know the miscarriage was a bit of a shocker last chapter and it didn't get any mention here. Instead, I just went and created more havoc (Coincidence in the choice of words? I don't think so. LOL). I hope you enjoyed it, otherwise, you can just go and use the review section to yell at me.

And the reason why she didn't know she was pregnant, what I imagined anyway, is that since she was coming back to the mansion after a sabbatical, she'd train really hard and put herself in a lot of stress. A lack of menstrual periods can happen when there is weight loss, disordered eating, or intense training or exercise. Because of her line of work, she had surely experienced that before and didn't find it odd. So, there you go.