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. . .

Author-nim : And yes, I wrote another chapter because I'm hella excited!

Love Me For Thirty Days

DAY SIX

Thursday

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"And yes, I'll admit, I am jealous. I'm jealous of every minute you spend with him, of every concerned expression you send his way, of every tear shed, of every glance, every touch, and every thought. I want to rip him to pieces and purge him from your mind and from your heart. But I can't."

― Colleen Houck

They said that one was able to sustain himself being alone, but not many were willing to be lonely. Loneliness was a bitter feeling, an emotion that made a person felt crude and hollow. And a life was raw with no purpose when one had nobody, simply because we always had our goals and ways to impress others. Humans needed that interdependency after all.

Yet, for three years after Seijuurou had been keeping himself busy, Tetsuya on the other hand, accustomed himself with that loneliness. He had embraced that sort of silence that tarried the household for quite some time. And only when Satsuki and Sakura came, or his friends from Seirin High back then or Shigehiro would the house be filled with noise and sounds of heavy laughter or the occasional talks over lunch servings.

This Thursday's morning seemed odd though, no, how Tetsuya would describe it as unusually noisy. Yeah, it was too noisy with the perpetual footsteps thumping against the floorboards. He peeked toward the clock, toward the thin needles pointing at the sixth digits and he mumbled grumpily. Still not wanting to wake up, he groaned and curled his body deeper into the thick duvet, savouring the warmth. Unfortunately, it seemed like whoever made that particular noise didn't want him to have enough sleep just yet – until he'd heard a familiar childish and high-pitched voice.

"CHICHIUE~!"

Chichiue?! From inside the piles of sheets, Tetsuya blushed against that thought, eyes like sapphire gems shut close in embarrassment. Not yet, he couldn't come out just yet, he could feel his cheeks spreading the natural heat and turned the alabaster white into beet red, as scarlet as roses.

Right, Sakura had been calling him that name ever since she started to learn her words after all. At first, he was happy and all – proud even – but most of the times now, he was actually shy about it. Being a godparent and all, that was.

"Did oji wakes up?" He heard the redhead spoke, who apparently just entered the sleeping room.

Little Sakura sounded a bit disappointed; the blunette imagined the adorable sulk she showed on her young face and how the cherub cheeks tainted pink as she shook her head in denial. "No, Tetsuya is hiding inside that big, big lump. Chichiue is lazy today!"

He heard a chuckle coming from Seijuurou, one that the blunette hadn't been listening for quite a long time. His blush deepened. "Then Sakura-chan, what should your uncle has to do to wake Tetsuya up?"

There was a brief moment of silence. Tetsuya wondered what they were supposed to be planning. Worse, what was that cheeky five-year old child was thinking? From beneath, he heard the ebullient giggles of a little girl and she shouted happily; "I think – oh, oh! – I think otou-san has to give chichiue a kiss! Mommy says that heroes should kiss their princess to save them from the darkness of evil something!"

The redhead released a triumph yet sincere laugh. "You read too much comics, Sakura-chan. But I won't deny that was actually a good idea."

What. . .?! Tetsuya started fidgeting under the protection of his covers.

"Yeah! Yeah! Otou-san should kiss chichiue now!" Sakura was beaming excitedly. Surely, one day she would be a perfect matchmaker.

Nervously, Tetsuya felt the weight of the duvet – Kami, his lovely precious duvet! – was lifted off from him. He creaked open one eye, revealing the bluest skies in his eyes meeting against the bloodiest of crimson shade and he squealed, partially and secretly in delight, but also the nerve wrecking emotion thumping to the rhythm of his heartbeat. The redhead hauled him up with his strong arms and tenderly he carried the light-weighted Tetsuya from the bed.

"Now kiss!"

"Right," the Akashi heir chuckled. But when his mismatched eyes met the baby blue gems, he felt the harrowing sensation and he was aggrieved by it. Tetsuya simpered, a presence of disappointment and hope and the bluest feelings buried deep in those eyes – that smile in particular – he held one hand close to the redhead's cheek and stroked gently. Seijuurou found his own lips curled into an awkward smile as well. Just, when was the last time had he smiled this honest? "Accept it as a part of a deal?"

"Of course."

"Kiss already!"

Impatiently – because five-year olds were simply naïve creatures and she wasn't really capable of reading airs from people – she knocked Seijuurou quite hard and he had Tetsuya landed on the bed as well. Except, this time he followed put, landing on top of Tetsuya. Both arms locking the blunette in prison, it was a wrong position to display toward a mere child like Sakura. If her mother found out, the two of them would have to share a grave later on. Maternal instincts, as women called it.

So, Seijuurou was only able to display a simple gesture of affection – if affection was what he could called the deal, then so be it – on which he placed a lingering kiss both on the blunette's cheeks and he rose as quick as he landed previously. The sensation was cool and tingling, enough to send shivers down their spines.

"Now that our princess had woken up, let's urge him to cook us breakfast."

"Yeah, breakfast with chichiue!"

"Alright, alright – wait a minute." The blunette couldn't help smiling toward the two vivacious beings. Yet, he pushed their backs to the door and once they were out, he shut the door with a heavy sigh. The occasional chaos was alright for him, a joie de vivre to lighten his mood even, if not for the headache he sure would receive later. Despite that, he mused the thought with a bright smile as he changed his night garments into his everyday jumper and faded jeans. Today was indeed an enigma, warm and sunny even in such a dark-lit penthouse.

There was a knock coming from the door he locked previously, and a concerned voice coming from his spouse, "Are you done?"

"Coming," he opened the door, fingers smoothing over the baby blue tufts, putting his very effort on taming his bed hair. Seijuurou laughed a bit, he took the blunette by surprise as he took charge on fixing the messy ball of hair.

"You sure took a long time just for this?"

"Not really," Tetsuya sulked.

"Come," he beckoned, "Sakura's waiting impatiently."

"Alright, alright. Just another few seconds, please."

Even if he said so, the blunette stopped on tracks just to glance toward the redhead. Seijuurou had a fine built over the years, and shoulders that carried a lot of burdens and responsibilities. He gazed toward the lean back, toward the fine muscles and pale skin. It had been a long time since he saw Seijuurou's back. Over the years, he had been side by side with the redhead, no longer chasing after the path winding down to their very fate. Yet, the feeling wasn't bad after all. Just waves after waves of nostalgia flooding over his mind. And there were questions running in his mind, wondering what kind of miracles were happening today.

Had the angels heard his prayers?

Tetsuya shook away such trivial thoughts. With a smile etched on the soft lips, he raced downstairs to meet the two precious people in the kitchen.

"What are you doing, Sakura-chan?"

"I want pancakes!" she exclaimed, "Ah, but otou-san wants tama. . . tama. . . what is it called again?"

"It's omelette, Sakura," responded the redhead, amused.

"Tamago, or something like that. . ." she found it hard to say omelette in Japanese. Sakura found herself pouting as she reached for a fork.

"It's ta-ma-go-ya-ki, Sakura-chan," giggled the blunette, "Tamago means egg. Ah, you're not supposed to stir the batter with fork!"

The redhead had made himself a coffee, one for Tetsuya as well, and he leaned against the counter whilst watching the banter occurred amongst them. It was amusing, to say the least. To be honest, he missed the warm kind of feeling that bloomed like a morning glory for today.

How long had he not been in such a carefree environment? How long had he been skipping the morning routine like this and went straight to the distressful place he was supposed to dread? Three years, in exact – a voice had whispered. For once, he glanced at the fluids, the steam kissing his face, and a woeful expression he was showing.

That was, until Tetsuya disrupted his stressful muses.

"You're helping or not?" Seijuurou was attacked, albeit languidly, with an eggbeater.

"It's fun to watch," he openly voiced out his thoughts, smiling.

"Hm! Go beat the eggs now!"

"What? No, I'm the husband here."

"Well, I'm a husband too."

"No, you're supposed to be the wife."

"Just because I stayed home and cook dinner? Seijuurou-kun is stereotyping the submissive partners now. How cruel," he said a tad monotonously. "Sakura-chan, don't follow your otou-san's footsteps on becoming a judgmental person."

"Eehhh. . ." The little girl could only giggle despite the lack of understanding on such statement.

"Hey, you don't have to teach her that!" The redhead had his cheeks coloured, "Sakura-chan, don't listen to chichiue as well."

"No, listen to me. I'm the submissive one in this relationship so I'm the mother, right Sakura-chan?" He winked playfully and glanced back with those azure pools full with victory and glory.

Tetsuya's eyes were those that showed mockery despite the emotionless base. The Akashi heir knew it was all fun and games yet he felt the need to win over this sort of argument.

"Daughters should listen to their fathers, you know."

"No –"

"Chichiue~ Otou-san~ breakfast!" And there went the little girl starting to throw her tantrum because, damn, she was hungry as hell.

Nobody won after all. In the end, they had to comfort a wailing pink-haired child and endure the continual mumbles of tamago and tamagoyaki with wrong pronunciation and all. It doesn't really matter though, for now Tetsuya was being rather happy. The questions in his head could be settled down later. The only important thing mattered was as he gazed upon the calm look dawned upon the redhead, it was all like they used to be a few years ago.

They used to be young and foolish and madly in love.

Meanwhile, a certain woman was having a rather bad start for the day. She always had the bad luck Thursday in her life, this one was not any better. Her hair dryer was broken, that had made the sable tresses tousled and hellish in style with the short sprouts of newly-grown hair kept on poking about her face. One of her contact lenses was flushed into the toilet and she had to endure wearing thick-rimmed glasses – glasses! How long had she not wore glasses? Since middle school, she guessed. Inwardly, she loathed of her nerdy appearances just as similar as she was back in middle school. At least, she doesn't have braces on. And a man had knocked over her chair when she had her morning coffee in L'occitane, spilling the dark brown fluids of her morning tea onto her floral shirt.

Seriously, she wanted to cry now. But that wasn't what she had been taught in her life – she was taught not to cry over frivolous matters like her misfortunes before. Thursday was her worst fortune yet to come – so what? The woman huffed confidently. She had done her jet black locks looked fine with a chignon and she wore glasses with pride today in spite of the difference of her appearances and had scrubbed a slight of the stains off before they would be difficult to remove on later. Thursday was the day she knew she had to double her diligence, and Yui found herself proud with such small achievements briefly.

That was until she saw a certain blunette.

Yamanaka Yui was never a fool. The black-haired woman knew who the blunette was, seen him in pictures and photographs hanging meticulously in the Akashi main office for its one and only CEO of the company. She knew of the person who carried the Akashi bloodline through marriage; and she knew the said person was right in front of him.

Akashi Tetsuya was nothing but weak, according to her muses. And Seijuurou had told her a couple of times, about Tetsuya, that he had always been that type you could easily stepped on since the primitive years. Even so, she saw the blue in his eyes were sharp as icicles as his gaze landed on her. Oh damn, how long had she been staring?

"Are you alright, miss?"

Right, Tetsuya may have known her name but he was unaware of her looks. She counted that as a luck for today, perhaps a reward for her patience. The small curves of his jaws, the short height for a man and all the body contours – Tetsuya was one with many flaws, but even Yui could find reasons behind the flaws to fall in love with him. Now she could understand how their childish relationship could turn into something serious. Tetsuya was someone worth fighting for.

What was this feeling? The occasional squeeze in her chest that had been going on for a couple of minutes now – was it. . . envy?

No, not quite yet.

"Ah, I'm. . . okay. Sorry for staring," she blushed.

"It's okay," Tetsuya smiled. "You don't look like you come from this neighbourhood, do you?"

"Not really. I'm just a visitor here. . ."

"That's nice. It must be a stress-relief to be able to take a break in your life for a while," he huffed. "Shall we take a seat over there?"

The short male pointed toward the nearest bench. Of course, they were walking uphill – and for Tetsuya who was carrying tons of grocery bags – it was actually tiring. Even Yui was panting slightly and she felt relief flooding to her legs as she sat down. She peered over to the side, stolen espies at the blunette. At first, she was a tad startled watching his monotonous face changed to a bright expression. She looked toward the direction he was gazing at and was in awe herself. The panorama of the city was what he would gaze upon every day, watching the city basked with morning sunlight. From the top, the other civilians looked like ants busy working for their queen, bustling about and anywhere.

Her lips parted, she wanted to remark about something. But she saw the focused look, cerulean blue eyes taking every details of the picturesque scene. She stayed silence and followed the lead as well.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah. . ." she simpered shyly.

Then, Tetsuya resolved back to being quiet. Yui took that as the chance for a slight interview. A few questions couldn't go wrong, right?

"Are you stressed?" Her voice was so small, it was almost inaudible. She pretended innocence, although there was guilt presence beneath her petty lies and the scheme she made was of pure intention after all. Yui was curious.

"Hm? What made you say so?"

"You said something about taking a break just then," a pause, "I just thought that you might be having some distress lately."

"Ah. . ." Tetsuya trailed off, his visages dreamy and eyes wandered away even if they looked like they might be focusing on the scene again. "I just have problems with my husband?" That was quick, of course. Yui never thought the blunette was quick to trust strangers. Especially a woman like her, she nibbled on her lip nervously.

"H-Husband?" she pretended once again.

It was not that obvious, but he was nodding. "Yeah, he wanted to divorce me for another girl."

Yui gulped. Double the nervous wrecked her brain system and she fidgeted. "S-So. . . what happened next?"

"We sort of have an argument," he responded as slow as a snail, "But I guess we're trying. I'm trying to do the best for the remnants of the days we have. We might not be able to fix what was broken. . ." he sniffled a bit, "It's like, you know, I could only pick up the pieces left and make something new out of it. Like a glass that was broken, you couldn't really shape it to something that will look the same as the original. But you shape it into something knew, sometimes. . . something better."

With every words spoken, Tetsuya found his lips curling into a smile – one that held so many memories and meanings. The twin pools of maya blue, one that represent the vast blanket of sky, closed shut as to reflect upon his wonders and he almost looked like a doll, perfectly still.

Yui exhaled a puff of air, squinting her eyes as she dared herself asking the dreaded question, "If he would be with the girl. . . would you want to forget?"

A brief moment of silence ticked away. For a while, Yui thought he might be angry. But the blunette only sighed a long puff.

"I'd wish. But. . . I won't. I don't want to. There are unpleasant things I wanted to remember. Because this is a lesson for me, for the two of us. They are lessons ought to be learnt, and remembered always. And forgetting it just means you never learn anything from your mistakes. . . So, I guess it's best if I treasure everything even if they're bad."

"I. . . I see."

Something about Tetsuya made the younger woman gulped in remorse, bright azure hue in the pair of forlorn-looking pools held many secrets and stories yet to be told. She chose to remain silent afterwards, engulfing in the late morning's rays.

Right, the black feeling deep inside. . . making knots in her stomach. . . she knew it wasn't envy. Deep inside, a voice told her she couldn't compete with Akashi Tetsuya. Sure, the man had many flaws. But a person with flaws always comes with the greatest strength. She was feeling jealous, all right.

Jealousy.

Yeah, that made sense.

Unexpectedly – or was it really unexpected? – a certain Akashi returned home quite early than usual today. The blunette, instead of feeling surprised, was quite pleased to see the redhead at the doorstep in the early night. He said nothing, though, but was watching with full focus obvious in his eyes. The blunette kept on pretending to watch a soap opera in the telly.

"I'm back," he inaudibly mumbled.

"I've got dinner. Do you want some?"

There was actually a hint of derision overlaying such invitation. As always for tonight, for the not-so-happy household they were living in, Tetsuya forecasted a sort of rejection coming from the redhead. He was surprised to hear the otherwise. That managed to distract him from the television for a minute and half.

"I. . . I thought. . ."

"Well, I didn't get the chance to eat anything," Seijuurou responded smoothly, "Care to serve your husband?"

Oh dear, that smile. . . So much rarity happened today, which made the blunette wondered about his countless, unanswered questions.

The shorter lad threw a frown, "Well, you should've told me earlier. I just heated up the leftovers today."

"It's fine." He winked – the blunette snorted instead.

"That's rare for you to say that."

Seijuurou only shrugged.

Dinner conversations were nothing but the occasional requests of passing food and the small queries about work. Tetsuya really dreaded to ask, the wanders had set his mood from curious to plainly disturbed. It was when the redhead was about to head upstairs for a long soak that he finally get to spurt out the blackness in his heart.

"I guess, I just wanted to. . ."

"Was it because Sakura-chan was there?" After all, Sakura was always the carrier of luck in this residence.

Yet, Akashi Seijuurou snorted at that thought and his heterochromia eyes rolled into a spite of contempt. "Of course not."

"B-But I just can't believe it. . . You're doing it on purpose–"

"Tetsuya. . ."

"No, Sei-kun! I need a reason. . ."

"Why do you even need one?"

"Because – because –"

Because I'm scared. I'm scared that you'd leave me after everything that we'd have together. I'm scared because I'm always a step behind.

And Tetsuya was afraid, that despite the calmness he always showed, he was on the verge of breaking – on the verge of spilling briny tears – on the very verge of screaming. But he remained composed yet trembling.

"Tetsuya –" Seijuurou took the lead. He grabbed his spouse by the wrist and send gentle touches against the surface.

It happened so briefly, so quick – that in a flash of lightning – he felt that warmth on his right cheek once again. One that was akin to that chaste peck in the morning. Tetsuya found his eyes widened, a pair of flat-shaped gems showing surprise and a whiff of ebullience lit his face like fireworks.

"You know, Tetsuya. . ." he stroked the smoothness of the pale skin, cool fingers against warm skin, "Let's just savour the remaining days of the deal."

And he left the trembling blunette, conflicted and afraid still.

He had forgot about the letter, forsaken yet safe and sealed in envelope.

TO BE CONTINUED

TRIVIA

I wonder why Sakura always call Tetsuya and Seijuurou chichiue and otou-san? I did mention that they had taken care of her since she's a toddler. Basically, they are her godparents. So, they don't really mind when she called them that. Even Momoi approve of it. Except sometimes, she calls them by their names and Seijuurou's trying to make her call them oji which means uncle according to Google translate.

Momoi's ex-husband is. . . *drum rolls*. . . Aomine. Shall I put a back story? I don't know. Momoi saw Aomine as a bad father. They don't really divorce, they just don't live together anymore.

Mozu : You know I'm so bored I started to draw countless of random shit in every piece of paper I could find. My friends and I was thinking of posting comics in Webtoon, but someone's not ready to draw *waggle eyebrows* Anyway, I could write this longer. But I got attracted to the movies in Fox, so I'm cutting it short.

BTW, I found inspiration on watching Panic! At the Disco's new music video. Never knew Satan could smile so sensually. Lel.

X for love, O for hate. I forgot to say this the last chapter. Whaaaat~~~

-Mozu The Mochi (2015)