For the past couple of weekends I try to get a hold of Lisa but she was not around well supposedly not around she was supposed to be at work or sick but she was actually just talking on Facebook to random people ghosting me and making me feel like shit. This kept happening for a couple of weeks and I was getting sick and tired of it and were times where I am throwing temper tantrum's and I have checked her Facebook as if I was some two-year-old deserve a grown Muslim woman. I would've acted more mature but as I said this was just before our wedding a few days before a wedding and everything was going to hell. I want to know what was going on so I kept checking on her or checking on her Facebook to see what she who she was talking to. Soon I got jealous of her friends because they're getting more love and support from her than they did for me. It was driving me wild I couldn't sleep at night, The nightmares were coming back from my PTSD and my heart was starting to ache physically I thought of talking to the doctor about my headache and nightmares but soon found out it was just the stress and bullshit. I stopped by her for at least a month until I was going to find answers or until I was going to get the log that I needed but I was starting to think of revenge plans already what is he was cheating on me what if she was fucking her friends. I don't know what gender her friends were but I know she was fluid in the way over sexuality and I was afraid that she was cheating. I prayed to Allah That would be a peaceful resolution and will be back together and be able to talk never mind making love but she was not available supposedly. I started crying I had to tell my friends what the fuck was going on I did not have very many friends to begin with but I had a lot of friends online who I started to advertise Lisa's faults to the world as most of these were penpals from Muslim countries. I didn't know who is falling out of love faster me or Lisa I think Lisa was the one that was falling out the most and it was nuclear fallout I couldn't stand it anymore I could understand the emotional radiation poisoning that she was inflicting on me with her ghosting. I have learned from other relationships that ghosting is a red flag want to comes to relationships if someone is ghosting you they are usually cheating but I couldn't know for sure so I just had to sneak around a little and do a few research on her and her so called friends.
My anger got to the point where it was worse than hell a fire whenever she came back I would snap at her and threaten her. I didn't like this idea of having a threaten someone but disloyalty in my culture is not allowed. One night she came home I was bawling my eyes out in tears crying saying so where the fuck have you been you bitch what have you been up to are you cheating on me.
She tried her best to lie about her deceitfulness but her dog Ringo was a better judge of character than I was and smell the lawn right away. I was able to read animals more than I was able to read people and I thought that the dog was a better lie detector.
She said what happened to the loving and gentle Tahria that she knew
I called her a very derogatory name for her gender our gender and I told her that she can burn in hell. I was not proud of saying that hard but it was just before the wedding. I was this close to calling off the wedding and say you know what we're not going but I wanted to have faith in her and faith in Allah.
The night before the wedding my suspicions were almost confirmed when I found out she wouldn't me. I stayed up all night paranoid crying weeping in my slave and still thinking of other ways of getting revenge on if he were to be cheating on me. I didn't want to think that this beautiful woman was cheating on me but as I said the ghosting was an alarming thing for me. Soon I made myself unattractive to her I decided I was going to outgrow my mohawk. I was going to wear the hijab most of the time something she hated the most and go from there I was trying to deal with things peacefully or passive aggressive.
Why did you grow out your mohawk
Why are you wearing that hijab
I thought you were different from the other Muslims
She was just saying this crap just to get me going. Unicorn take it anymore and I ended up making a secret POF account that she didn't know about and I was going to find someone else to spend my life with that's what I was hoping for at the beginning. Was to give her a taste of her own medicine.
What are you doing Tahria
Oh nothing Lisa just pissing you off.
What a fucking way to start a wedding night or a marriage but soon the next day I would finally get worse. That next day was my wedding day. That was my most special day And I thought that Allah was handing it down to me Not the jinn.