For a master thief, he does a pretty lousy job of hiding his tracks. He's trying too hard to behave the same, but I can see he's unsettled, upset about something. And what about the flat? He even had it professionally cleaned! As if I wouldn't notice it and then suspect something happened here. He bought new linen for the bed, new towels, for God's sake! Seriously? Did he kill anyone or something? I know he didn't, he doesn't have it in him. He couldn't even let me commit my fucking suicide in peace. No, the super hero in him had to shield me from my eminent death. I sometimes find myself resenting him for that. What in the world was I thinking when I let him convince me my life was worth living? Why in the world would I choose to take his word is beyond me. What could he possibly know? He has no children of his own and doesn't seem like he's in a hurry to have any, or else he wouldn't be with me. Ever since I accepted the offer that stranger made me, I can't have children. I'm hollow inside for I can't bear children anymore. Anyways, back to what I was saying, he knows no parental love. He doesn't know what one could do for the blood of their blood, flesh of their flesh, for the very own fruit of their body. My baby, my angelic little girl was my heart beating outside my body. Now my heart's gone, life is pointless and I can't really love or feel anymore. I'm fond of Remy, I like him, who doesn't? Him with all that swagger and that charm of his that once you get to know him, you learn that's all a façade. He's got one heart of gold that thief of mine. Unlike the person who approached me when I was the most fragile I've ever been in my life, that one, he can't have been up to any good.
The stranger who saved my life said he could give me immortality and I took it, of course I took it because I was dying after giving birth to my precious daughter. I would do anything to stop her from becoming an orphan. You see, I married my childhood sweetheart at the tender age of 19, and I didn't get pregnant for years. I had lost all my hope of ever becoming a mother. There were no fertility treatments back then, you see. Then my love had to go away. He was called to duty and went to the World War, oh yes, the first, we used to call it World War because obviously, we didn't know there was going to be another one. So, he boarded that ship to Europe and it was during his absence that I found out I was expecting. I sent him a letter, don't even know if he got to read it because he came back home in a box, my love was never to return to the warmth of my arms.
My man died on me and I was about to die on our daughter. It just couldn't be. I have no idea who was the person who gave me an everlasting life, nor do I know why he did it. Out of good heart? I seriously doubt it. Was he an angel or a devil? I guess I'll never know. Whomever it was, he didn't tell me about that particular side effect. I didn't consider the implications that living forever involved either.
Not for a moment did I realize that accepting immortality meant that I would watch my own daughter grow old while I remained forever young. I wanted to give her my life, to trade places. That's not what nature intended. No parent should have to bury their offspring, it's the other way around. Watching her grow sickly and forgetful was the worst, that's why I was done with it. I was done with life. I became immortal because I was short-sighted, all I wanted was to care for my baby girl. I did all I could for her, so when her life started slipping away, I desperately sought for a way to end mine. When I finally found something that would work, there comes Remy, and with his looks and his charm made me give up on the idea. Oh I regret it so much! And now he's up to something he won't tell me about. I can't say I'm being honest with him either. I'm still looking for something that will give me eternal rest, no luck so far. But one can't blame me for following trails and trying.
Maybe Remy and I should open up to each other. We could perhaps help each other achieve our goals. The closest I ever got to get what I want was when he was by my side, helping me out. Without him, I know I stand little chance. But back then, he thought I was looking a cure for my daughter, so his motivation was in the right place. My sweet super hero! He'll do anything if he thinks he's saving the day. When we were breaking into one of Red Skull's research facilities, his heart was in the mission, and now, well, now he'd know the truth and it would break his heart.
-O-
I was a father! Or am I still? If a father loses a child, is he still a father?
I can't explain how I feel and how I felt when I learned about him. A mix of sadness and, strangely enough, relief. Relief because now I know it wasn't all my fault that she pulled away from us like she did, that it wasn't me who fucked up our relationship and that all the times she gave up on us, well, it wasn't my sweet Anna who did it, but a woman who was grieving. Mon Dieu, it seems that she is still grieving after all this time!
She says I should hate her for hiding it from me even when she confessed she did so because she didn't want me to know so I wouldn't suffer. She took it really hard, and she thought I would too. So, naturally, she wanted to shield me from the hurt and the pain. I understand that, apparently, she thinks I'm so jerk that can't get that. Me, of all people! She knows I'm an empath! It amazes how she underestimates me and my love for her.
Now truth be told, I'm not sure her efforts to hide it all from me were justifiable, I don't think I would have been so down, as hurt as she is. Sure, it's sad, but we could always make another baby, right? Even so, I feel strangely attached to the baby who was never born. Ever since the night I found her in the cemetery, I can't stop thinking about him and what he would be like if he was alive.
Anna and I, we made love that night. And it was heavenly! Mon Dieu, how I want her! I'm still in love with her. I know I love her and I don't know what to do with that knowledge. I don't want to go and break Joelle's heart. I feel responsible for her happiness ever since I stopped her killing herself. No one should feel obliged to make another happy, c'est vrai. I'm not sure this is a healthy relationship but I don't know how to get away from it.
Anna didn't contact me in three days, she was in a mission. Unreachable. She left me a note by my pillow after she left me alone in bed. Her smell was still in the air intoxicating me with love for her, but she was gone. Then, I read the note and am reminded why we are not together. She traded me for her job. Once again, she proved her job comes first. I sent her a message only, asking how she was. When she called, she wanted to know how I was. She asked if now that I had the time to digest the news, my feelings had changed, if I was still okay. And I was. Her inviting tone of voice, the sheer happiness in it brings warmth to my heart. She was glad to speak to me, happy that we are in good terms. Not once did we mention our moment of recklessness and our hours of late night sex. Stupidly, before I could stop myself, I'm asking her out, for an innocent coffee. She gladly accepts, but not before asking me about Joelle. She's alright, I say. I promise I just want to talk. Now do I? Will I be able to look into those bright emerald eyes and resist them? Why again did I put myself in this position? Merde, I guess I'll never know. My stupid heart keeps sabotaging me every time, every fucking time.
-O-
Here I am, sitting in a comfy armchair, holding my huge cappuccino cup, waiting for him to arrive. I should be nervous, but I'm not. I'm cool. And I feel proud of myself. But then I catch a glimpse of that devil and all my fake poise goes to waste. My breathing quickens, I'm sure I look like a fool.
After I returned from my mission, I saw I had a message from him, one line only. "How are you, chére?" Funny, I tortured myself ever since that night we spent together with the same question. How was he? How did the news sink in? But I didn't call him straight away, honestly, I didn't know what to say. So I decided to go and see Etienne instead. My last visit wasn't how I imagined it would be. I didn't clean the tombstone, I didn't remove the weeds around his resting ground, I didn't talk to my baby. To my utter surprise when I got there, all these maintenance had been done for me and by his grave was a flower pot and a little card that simply said 'From daddy, with love'. That did it. I get my phone and I call him straight away and I ended up landing myself an invite for coffee. Now here I am, smiling broadly at the sight of him.
"Chére" He greets me.
"Hi, sugar." I reply a little breathlessly. We look at each other. He smiles weakly but tenderly at me, we both don't know what to say.
"So…" He starts.
"Mmmm?"
He looks at his hands and doesn't say a word. I take a sip of my cappuccino so I wouldn't have to fill in the silence. He looks into my eyes, still speechless.
"So, you said you needed to see me. Now you just sit there and stare at me. What is it, hun?"
"I said I wanted to see you, so here I am, seeing you, aren't I?" He teases me.
"Very funny, Remy! Ha Ha ha." I try to reprimand him, but a smile adorned the corner of my mouth and he smirks at me. "Seriously, though. You're still with your lady, right? So why the hell do you want to keep me around, Remy? That ain't like you."
"I know." He finally admits. He opened up his heart to me and conversation flowed naturally. I can't even say when was the last time he was that honest with me. He told me about his feelings towards me. He didn't try to make it pretty, he just laid the bare truth as it was. Without trying to seduce me, he says he can't stop thinking about me and that he thinks he's in love with me.
"I guess I'm back in love with you too, sweetheart. Now what do we do about that? I can't believe it, after all this time, all that we've been through."
He then goes and tells me all about Joelle. She's freaking old! Like really, really old, but of course, the lucky bitch doesn't age. Now talk about competition! How can anyone top that? He met her when she was trying to kill herself because her own daughter was dying. Gosh, the crazy bitches Remy attracts! Myself included! We discussed Joelle for a while. Finally, he mustered his courage to ask me about Havok.
"We just fuck, Remy. When I feel like fucking someone, I fuck him. That is all there is to it, all there's to know."
"Wow! Now that seems very liberal of you, petite, so avant-garde. You're practically a northerner now." He mocked me.
"Yeah, well, laugh as much as you want. At least I don't date someone old enough to be my great-grandfather." I spat back at him.
"Oh, is that so? Now you don't? Helloooo? Magneto, anyone?"
"Awww shut up! I had completely forgotten about him. And come on, he is not as old as your lady." I retorted.
"Chére, he actually looks like your grandfather, whereas Joelle looks all cool for school, with all those tattoos and that pin up girl style of hers." I gave a snort of disgust, but he went on. "Aaaand she's not a maniac, a mass murderer."
"Says the one who married a woman who kills for a living. Check-mate!" He couldn't help himself and started laughing, the sound of that hearty laugh of his was music to my ears. Our banter went on and on. It was just like good old days. The café was about to close and we were kindly asked to leave.
"I had a great time, Swamp Rat. Perhaps we could do that again some time."
"What about tomorrow? And the day after tomorrow? And the day after the day after tomorrow?" He offered with a smile and then hugged me tight. I let my body do what my heart was telling it to, I leaned in, pressing my head against his neck. We stood there like two crazy idiots, locked in an embrace in front of the now closed café, the cold air around us was a stark contrast to the warmth in our hearts.
Again, he smiled at me, that knockout smile of his. Reaching out to me, he pulled me closer against him. I wrapped my arms protectively around him.
'That's more like it, chére,' he said. 'You must keep me warm.'
I laughed and held him tighter. After what seemed like forever, I kissed him on the cheek and each of us went our own separate ways.
"I'll see you soon, chére." He promised.
"You can bet your money on that, sugar." I agreed.
-O-
His late night outings have become more and more frequent, at first I didn't care too much. I honestly thought he was probably out doing his thieving just for kicks.
I know better than that now. He was sleeping soundly when I got hold of his phone. It was locked, I tried to break the code, but couldn't. What the hell! I don't need to read what's in there. Tonight he came home smelling of her. I hate the sweet perfume she wears, that vanilla scent. How could one forget? That classic 'date night' perfume. I guess it's a Dior. Expensive, yes, but too girly. It makes me nauseated.
To make matters worse, when he arrived he was so happy, he could hardly contain himself and disguise his satisfaction of having been with her.
My phone rang all of a sudden making me jump.
"Joelle?"
"Yes, who is it?"
"Someone who might be willing to help you. I've heard of what you're looking for."
"Last time someone helped me, they screwed me up big time. Who are you and what do you want from me?"
"Well, I got information that might help you."
"If you can get me a way to disappear from this world, well, then maybe you can help me."
"The answer is so close to you, it's unbelievable. It lies just next to you. I mean it, literally, next to you."
I took a good look at the sweet fallen angel sleeping peacefully next to me. I sighed heavily and remained quiet as the man on the other end told me about powers Remy has that he's never told me about. Just you wait, Mr. LeBeau. Tomorrow we'll have a talk.
-O-
Author's notes:
Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. It was hard to decide how it was going to go. Everyone's got different views on what it should have been like and that makes writing it a lot of fun. I love the interaction. Ok, some of you said sex was too soon, others were like, yeah, I loved it, just go and write us some more. Yes, Jasmine Bella, that one is for you. *blinks* By the way, guest who reviewed twice urging me to update, there you go. Sorry I couldn't make it sooner than you expected.
Can I just rant a little, this is my least followed/favorited story ever. Boo hoo! But… last chapter got more visitors than my last fic used to get within a week of a new chapter being posted. Come on, you guys. Show me some love!
What do you guys think of Joelle's background story? Too tragic? I kind of liked it. (Duh! Obviously!)
Oh, and in case you're wondering, Rogue's perfume is Dior Hypnotic Poison. Till next time, you all. Thanks for reading.