I walk into the restaurant and Bobby greets me with a lopsided smile and raised eyebrows. I quickly make my way to the table he'd booked for two and ask him what the matter is.
"You've been seeing him. No need to say a word, honey. It's written all over your face." He says as he stands and gallantly pulls the chair for me. I simply smile knowingly at him.
"And how would you know that just by looking at me walking into the place?" I can help but smirk at him.
"The twinkle in your eye, the happiness in your smile. That glow that only women who are being properly fucked possess." He says with a sneer.
"Ha! We are not having sex." I retort with pride, clapping my hands and pointing a finger at him. People around stare at me, I ignore them.
"Then you don't deny you're seeing him." I chuckle and he smiles at me. Yeah, you got me alright, Mr. Drake, I think to myself. "I hope you don't mind that I've ordered for you already." He continued. "You always order the same thing here. You're a woman of habits, aren't you, my friend Anna? Always stuck with the old, familiar and well-known."
"My cheeky friend Bobby, I know what you're trying to imply there."
"Not implying, Anna. I'm saying. You are never getting over Remy LeBeau, are you? You don't like to try new things, new boys, new toys. And don't you pout, missy. You know I'm right! I mean, I congratulate you for trying, you tried out Alex Summers, but I don't think he made your toes curl, did he, sweetie?"
"Oh Bobby, I like you better when you don't judge me."
"I'm not judging you, just trying to understand. For a moment you got me there, you looked just fine before you met him in the bank vault. I thought you were happy, hell, YOU thought you were happy without him. Now that! If only you'd tell me why you keep coming back for more of him. It can't be the sex only."
"No, it's not and you know it."
"Now do I?"
"Well, you're right, you don't. There's so much more to it than what you know, you'd hate me if you knew how much I've kept from you, kept to myself."
"Well, try me."
"I have no idea how to even begin. I didn't confide in you, I didn't tell him either, if it makes you feel any better." I say with my head hanging low, staring at the cutlery on the table as I speak. I have no idea why I am saying all that. But he deserves to know, doesn't he? He's earned it. After all the times he proved he was more than a regular friend is, he's like the big brother I've never had. A big gay glitter and rainbows brother! That thought makes me want to laugh, but it's not the time, so I rein it in.
"So is that something you should have told him, then? And you haven't?" He gives me the impression he suspects what this is all about, but he doesn't press the matter.
"No, not even him. He recently found out, by himself. I'm such a selfish bitch, couldn't even tell him when it was right on his face. I thought the pain was mine and all mine. I didn't want to share it, my guilt, my shame, they were exclusively mine. And now that he knows, we became closer again. He's a sweetie, I deserved his rage, but he was so gentle, so understanding. I can't help myself, can't help falling in love with him all over again, Bobby. I can't…" I trailed off and looked away. How could I not trust Bobby with my secret? Maybe he could have shouted some sense into me back when it was most needed. He is such a cool guy, I know, cool guy whose codename is Iceman, hilarious… But seriously, he's so cool. He never questioned anything at all throughout lunch. We discussed other less compromising topics, like the guy he's been seeing. He makes him happy and he's having a good time with him, oh those first days of a relationship, butterflies in your stomach. It feels like a fairy tale that you want to never end. He told me all about them, they'd had multiple mornings already where they had to go into work with three hours of sleep or less, because they stayed up all night talking, laughing, or, in the words of Liz Lemon, having Mommy-Daddy-Sheet-Monster time.
After lunch, we walked to Central Park and then I finally opened up to him and told it all, all about losing my baby, going into and out of depression, losing my lover in the process. He cried with me and hugged me tight. Funny, choosing to tell it to Bobby gave me full closure on the issue, much more than the fact that Remy now knows. There are things that only a good friend can do for you, a friend who sees my spark and comes closer, loving me for who I am. Oh it's another rainy day. By now, the rain is slick on the ground, and the sky is a painting in a million shades of grey. I tell him of my worries, and he says everything is okay. And then once more I am the softest version of myself. My heart is so light. We talk of mutants versus humans, of the people we know from the X-Mansion, of God, of lovers, of movies. I just love to hear his voice, it's so soothing. Bobby has a piece of my heart, and I will protect his at whatever cost, always.
Time flew by as it always does when I'm with him. When I got home, back to the peace and quiet of my bedroom, I fall onto my bed with a thump. My head is spinning as I replay my own account of the facts. Without a second of hesitation, I grab my phone and call Remy.
"Hey, sugar. I want to see you."
-O-
I wake up and she's sitting on our bed with her legs crossed. She's looking down at me and scowling. What have I done now? I rub my eyes with the back of my hands in a desperate attempt to shake off the drowsiness. I try and flash her a sexy smirk, but to no avail. Her facial expression remains unchanged. L'enfer! It's that bad, not even my charm disarmed her.
"Remy LeBeau, is there anything you want to tell me?" 'Is there?' I ponder. Last night I saw my Anna, we were keeping up our ridiculous attempt at being just friends when we both know that we have feelings for each other. But this time, when we were going to say goodbye, she kissed me. The rain was pouring down on us when we left the café, we didn't care not even a little that we were all wet, and my hair had become one with my face. She told me I looked like a wet homeless cat, stinky and all. Oh that Anna of mine! Then she kissed the droplets from my lips, and I felt her lips smile against mine. I couldn't help but mirror her action and smile back. She went back to kissing me, deepening the kiss, then she stopped. And again, she smiled, now looking into my eyes as she did so. Again, I smiled back. She swept my hair aside and kissed me on the cheek. Back to the pretence that kissing me on my cheek represented, and then she sank herself into my arms. I just can't stop myself and hung my fingers on her waistband, dragging her sweet smelling body closer. She buried her face in my shoulder curve, her hands flexing around my back. She gave a little groan. "I love you," she murmured into my hair. "This is the happiest I remember being in a long long time." She nuzzled my hair, said goodbye and off she went. I watched her go, looking so pretty with her long hair soaking wet sticking to her back, I could see the contour of her spine under it. I salivated at the perfection of her behind, and she got smaller and smaller in the distance, never looking back to check on me. I was paralyzed, just thinking of that kiss. Man, I've had Anna in all ways you can imagine, made love to her a million times, licked every single inch of her body over and over and there I was, dumbstruck because she kissed me. Like a fucking schoolboy, my heart was racing, head swimming because of a kiss! Just then I hear a horn and find myself standing on a road waiting for a yellow cab in the cool drizzling rain falling on my face. The rain had the most lovable gesture embracing me in the chilled gust of wind reminding me of her.
"So?" Joelle insisted and I snap out of my daydreaming. I was sighing despite myself as I thought Anna.
"Well, I do have something to say." I admitted openly.
"I know what it is, but go ahead, I wanna to hear it from you, handsome." Her voice was bitter, but she didn't look confrontational. Resigned, resigned is the word that best describes how she sounded.
"I found out Anna was going to have my baby, but had a miscarriage. It happened five years ago, but she never told me." She gasped. Obviously she wasn't expecting to hear that. I told her everything. I don't know why I didn't tell her as soon as I learned about it. I needed to share this with someone, and she's been a good friend. She could be that someone.
"So how do you feel about it all?" She finally asked.
"I've been seeing her, we have been acting like friends, mainly because of you, in respect for you. But chére, I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm in love with her, all over again. Je suis desolée. I'm sorry I haven't come clean about it before."
"You're not fucking her? I'm impressed! You're a sweet boy, Remy. No need to apologize."
"Well, we did do it, once, here." I wondered why I was fessing up like a sinner at a confessionary. But the words kept coming, and I felt good about laying it all on the table. Her reaction? She laughed really hard at me.
"So that explains all the cleanliness, new sheets, new towels, after I came back from that trip I made. Oh, honey, your attempt to shield me from your naughtiness is endearing." Wow! I never saw that coming. Then it was her turn to come clean, she told me about how she was following tracks on some new device on Red Skull's possession that perhaps could give her what she wants: death.
"But yesterday, I got a call that changed everything." She added cautiously, examining me for my reactions. I could feel she was tense, and could tell she was picking her words carefully. "A stranger called me and talked about you, about your powers. This person told me you could manipulate the potency of the energy release and by doing that you could even exercise a measure of control over time. Can you time travel, Remy?"
"Well, that one who called you could only have been Sinister. Merde! This fellow doesn't leave me the hell alone. He must have some job he wants me to undertake and believes I come crawling to him, asking for my full potential to be restored once more, so I'd help you." I then proceeded to tell her all about Sinister, my powers, how he took some of it away as I requested and had it restored years later. I also told her about how that power had burned out after my battle with the New Sun. "Sorry, chére, but I won't do what that man wants, and he surely wants something wicked if he reached you. He thinks if you ask me to that I'll do anything for me to get that ability back. Besides, what good would it do? How time travelling would help you?"
"You could make things right and just let me die this time, Remy."
"Do you want it that badly?" I asked her indignantly.
"I do." She confessed simply. "Don't you want it too?"
"Quoi? That you die? Porquoi? To get rid of you? I love Rogue but I don't want you to disappear into thin air because of that. What kind of bastard do you take me for?"
"Don't you want to go back in time and make things right with her? If not for her, you could at least save your baby. You could tell her, Remy! Go back in time and tell her that she was pregnant!"
There. She did it, dropped the bomb on me. I wouldn't have thought of that, because I know that power of mine is gone for good. But I'd do almost anything to save my child with Rogue, anything but pay for my son's life with the sacrifice of other innocent people. Rogue wouldn't want it that way and neither would I. But I can't lie to myself, the idea is very, very tempting.
"So, Remy. What do you say about that?"
Exactly. What do I do now?
-O-O-O-
Hello everyone. Thanks for the recent follows, faves and reviews. Oh and more Bobby just because everyone loves their friendship. And yes, she told him!
Guest, answering your question. Yes, eu falo português ;) Sou carioca.
Consider this update a Xmas present, y'all. When you're too high on wine or bored at your relatives' old jokes LOL you can always read this chapter to entertain yourself. Merry Christmas!