That night, shockingly, I turned and twisted in bed all night. These days I guess I could even sleep standing up if I tried, so tired I am all of the time. I have this overwhelming urge to sleep that takes over me and I just can't help it. But not that night, oh no, not after seeing Remy LeBeau. My encounter with my most anticipated 'Remy from the future' left me wide awake and alert all night long.

I checked my nightstand clock from time to time. The hours seemingly went by as fast as minutes. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't sleep. His hand on my belly had been like a hot iron that left an invisible brand on me. I could somehow still feel it, still feel it burn. I tried to think of other things, but somehow my hand inevitably traveled where his hand had been over and over again. And it stayed there, as if trying to feel the love he's placed there.

As he touched me, the baby twisted inside of my womb. It's still early days for that, I guess I had only felt it move two or three times. Perhaps there is a connection between them already.

As she wriggled and his hand trembled lightly, I couldn't level my eyes with his. So, I looked down at his hand all the while, feeling a million butterflies in my stomach. Such tension was followed by a sickening feeling in my gut while I silently choked back tears.

That's the man who didn't hesitate before cheating on me. But at the same time, it isn't him. This time travelling thing is so confusing! Still, underneath the hateful cheater, I know there's also my husband in there, the father of my children, the love of my life and keeper of my heart. He's the man who risked his life by going back in time to save us all from the death of our son. For God's sake, who am I kidding? I love him! I know I still do, or maybe it's just that I'm still attracted him. Could it be that what I feel is desire only? Those nights I went to bed with him, despite what he's done, despite how hurt I feel because of what I've seen could be proof of that. Those nights of passion, yes, they are a good indicator. I laid on my bed, the bed I used to share with him, absentmindedly caressing the baby bump, and let my thoughts and imagination run wild and keep me awake. I sigh despite myself.

When something bugs me I can only sleep when I'm exhausted. When I feel the tiredness in my chest, in how I breath, and my thoughts drag by in slow motion. That night was no different. I slunk to a quiet spot and curled up. I stared at the ceiling while I weighed my chances. It was three in the morning, if I managed to sleep then, I'd get three hours of sleep. That's if I were lucky, if Oli didn't show up in my bedroom after a nightmare.

I guess I dozed at some point only to later on wake up as startled as if a gunshot had sounded, heart beating fast and breathing as if I'd just surfaced from deep water. The gunshot was just my phone. Someone was calling, at three in the morning.

"Rogue?" A phone call at an inconvenient time, a woman's voice calling me Rogue, with that accent. I knew all right who it was.

Belle used to hate me back in the day and slowly warmed up to me as she realized I was not some bitch out to get Remy. I cared for him as much as he cared for me. She told me later she hated me for ruining her last chance of having him as her husband, or, at least, what she thought was her last chance. We were in love with each other already and there was simply no breaking that. As time went by, and my trips to New Orleans became more frequent, she gradually started speaking civilly to me. By the time Remy and I got married, his ex-wife and I had no problems at all being around each other. So, obviously, I didn't object to him inviting her.

Firstly, I thought it was gracious that he did so. He wasn't some horrible husband that was marrying again, it just didn't work out but they were still in good terms. And above all, I knew that despite all that happened between them Remy still loved her. Not as a wife, but as a close friend, probably his oldest friend, his childhood sweetheart.

But there was a major turning point in my relationship with her that happened while I was expecting Oli. I was six months pregnant and we went down South so his father would see me pregnant with his son's child. He was so happy and so proud that Remy finally settled down, he could hardly contain himself. On our second day of visit, I fell down the stairs. Worry not, I didn't roll down the entire staircase, just tripped on my dress when there were only three more steps to go. But I landed funny and hurt my ankle. I was examined and doctor said I was having contractions. They feared I would go into labor too early. They said I couldn't travel back to New York. To make matters worse, I was prescribed bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy.

And then along came Belle! She volunteered to help me out, keep me company and care for me. Remy could do all that, but having another woman to talk to definitely made all the difference. There was some chaos going on back in mutant world, Kitty was in a mission, so Belladonna filled the devoted friend role more than perfectly. Later, she told me she herself had miscarriaged twice in the year before. Her husband and she were devastated, she was in shreds and only now was she able to speak of it. The image she had of me, the seductress, the home breaker was well in the past, she said. And after her unexpected display of kindness towards me, I started calling her a friend.

"Belle? What on Earth? Is Remy's phone off? I'm… I'm not with him," I declare timidly as I assume she could only be looking for him and that she doesn't know we are living apart now. For her to be calling me at that time of night, some Guild war must've exploded in New Orleans yet again and she wants his advice or his help.

"Cut the crap. We both know where your husband is." She said pointedly, and went on. "What the hell are you doing, Rogue? You're practically throwing him into another woman's arms!" Oh, OK, so she knows.

"Oh, Belle!" I started. "You of all people, taking the time to call me to…" I said, feeling genuinely touched that the call was actually for me, and that she cared enough.

"To open your eyes." She cut in. "After everything you've overcome to be together, I can't believe you'd give up now. I refuse! The ex-wives of Remy LeBeau club isn't accepting new members."

"Oh, is it not? Don't break my heart, Belle. I can't take any more rejection." I joke. "Now, seriously, thanks, Belle. I mean, I appreciate that you care and what you're trying to do, I do. But there's no turning back, this ship has sailed. He's… he's cheated on me. I caught him in the act. No one told me, sugar. I've seen it! So that's the end of it. I'm not the kind of woman who forgives cheating and then, gets cheated on again."

"You forgave him long enough to get another baby. Obviously you weren't too upset." She commented dryly.

"That! Oh, that, well, er… That was an accident." I spoke shyly, I could feel my cheeks burn. I just hate when people ask about it, how it's happened. Everyone takes me for a complete idiot for falling pregnant by my cheater of a husband after having discovered his misconduct. Bobby hates him for that. 'One child with an ex is okay, now two children, Anna? Are you completely out of your mind? Couldn't he at least have used a condom when we all know he's fucking another woman?' I remember him saying when I told him.

"An accident? So you two were hanging out naked when you tripped and fell in his lap? Don't insult my intelligence!" She snapped.

I tried to imply he was the one who started it, but there's simply no kidding her, that clever bitch.

"Bet your X-friends love that version. Gambit the unfaithful louse who seduced his poor, heartbroken wife! But I know Remy better than I like you. I know that man doesn't go where he's not invited. God only knows what you two see in each other! It's his ass, isn't it?"

"His ass? Yeah, his ass, those eyes, that mop of brown hair sliding over his face, and that cock of his, I…" Belle clears her throat. I get the message, too much information. But hell, she's the only person I could discuss that particular topic with. "What I mean, Belle, what I mean is lust is no love. Can't you tell the difference? Besides, when I found out I was pregnant, I admit, the idea of forgiving him did cross my mind. It did! I can be honest with you about that. I haven't told anyone about this. I headed to his place, my heart in my hand, to give him the news and who knows, if he played his cards right, give him another try. But when I got there, that woman answered his door. She was wearing nothing but his shirt. The bitch told me he was sleeping, asked me if she should wake him up." I felt my eyes pooling with tears at that memory. I swallowed the lump in my throat, but Belle's no fool. She noticed. "So when I left, I was so mad that I set my mind on the divorce. So, I put it in motion as soon as I possibly could."

"Bless your heart... Anna, listen to me. This woman could be very well be playing both of you. You didn't even see him. It's possible he wasn't even there and she conned you."

"Wake up, Belle. They are living together! How much clearer does it have to get?"

"No, you're right. I'm not there, I don't know the details. Here's what I know: he's never been so invested in any woman like he is in you. When I still clung onto our vows and our marriage, he was already in love with you. That shit hurt. And he couldn't touch you then. But he never gave up hope, never! Because he loved you more than me, more than his need for sex. Chere, coming from any man, that's a lot. Coming from LeBeau, who can have any woman in his bed, that's fucking huge! And you know it." I sighed heavily. There was a brief pause, unsettling silence. "I talked to him." She continued. "He's devastated, Rogue. He puts on a brace face but he misses you and Oli. I could have every reason to want your marriage to fail but when he told me he wasn't unfaithful, I believed him. He had nothing to gain by telling me. I won't tell him we spoke, but if you still love him, you should fight for your marriage. Do you love him?"

"I do! Oh, I do! I fucking do!" I confess to her, I confess to myself. The truth that I wanted to hide from myself was out. I still love him, I'm hurt, I hate the fact that he's left us to go on an adventure with a freaking hot lady, who happens to be unable to age, that bitch! I also hate that he hadn't called, I hate that I had to search for him myself and found him naked sleeping by her side. Belle pointed out how Remy knows a thing or two about surviving in the snow, thanks to ME. Obviously she didn't let the chance of pointing that out pass like that. She said maybe it's true, maybe he was indeed just trying to die another day. He said they hugged tight to let their body heat to warm up one another.

Was I too fast in assuming the worst?

Then I tell her about Remy being back, the one who time-travelled for the sake of our family.

"Rogue, you owe him a conversation. I know you two love the drama but you need to consider what this is doing to your son. You just said you love Remy. Trust me, no one knows better than me how brutal love is. We got slaughtered when we became different people with different goals. I don't think you're there. Not yet. Can you try to discuss this with him, Anna? Without having an 'accident'?"

I finally agree with her. I'm honestly not so sure about the no-accident policy, but I'll try. I know she's right. I need to listen, really listen to him this time. Because all I've been doing is acting upon my jealousy and the impressions that seeing him naked with another woman left in me. I haven't been very reasonable lately, but then again, goddamn it! I'm pregnant, it's not like good judgement is my most valued virtue right now.

I thank her for baring the truth as it for me. I needed someone to give ma reality shock, to tell me things other than only what I expected to hear. Bobby would be the person to do that were he not so biased against Remy in first place.

Yes, I'm gonna talk to him. No accidents this time, I can't help but chuckle. Gotta keep that in mind too.

The resolution brought me peace, and I fell asleep soon after Belle and I said our goodbyes.

-O-

My future self has laid out all the plans to me, all dates, all facts, everything I should know to have the best chances to get the chemicals and, most importantly, to get HIM.

It all seemed easy enough. Remy LeBeau and I were a couple in the future, before his now wife came along. She was a clingy ex he couldn't shake off. How hard could it be for me to alienate him from her? The man did have an attraction for me, I knew it for a fact, or we wouldn't have hooked up in his timeline. So all I had to do was play the game by the book, better saying, by my letter. I'd follow the instructions, and victory was granted. Or that's what I liked to tell myself, at least.

It turned out it was not all so simple. I had no idea how strong his feelings for his woman were. In the letter she was pictured as a silly ex-girlfriend, nothing but that. Come on! They were never married, nor did they have children. She couldn't be that important.

They worked together for a long time, attraction sparkled between them. They had an on and off thing, period. Then, sometime later, they meet by chance, he gets intrigued, involved, wants more. She reciprocates his feelings and bang, they have a flashback moment and I was caught in the middle. Surely this happens every day, right? To lots of people! And once sexual desire is quenched, people go back to their old lives. So, I assumed that if he didn't go time traveling, he'd probably be back to me. I could see no threatening obstacle in my way.

I was in for huge deception, though. Despite all my advances, I didn't get him to really cheat on her. I reached out for him, showed him the letter. Not the full letter, just one page I wrote in the future specially for the occasion. He believed me, the oh-so-clever master thief fell for my story like a lamb to the slaughter. So, he followed me and helped me out, we went through hell and high water, got what we were searching for but that was as far as it went. There was not much time for romance, anyway. Besides, my daughter was in her deathbed. I wasn't in the mood. His wife caught us naked as we fought frostbite and assumed we had been fucking all night long, as I had told myself would happen. And with that, I thought I had secured what my future self promised me: a man worthy of my time, a little boy, his son, a child I could care for and nurture like my own. A new beginning! All I had to go was get his wife, the ex-girlfriend, out of the way. The little scene at the snow appeared to have worked.

However, when we came back from our heist, he started his crusade: trying to win her back. He saw her every day at the X-Mansion and he tried to chat her up whenever he got the chance, which was very often. Later I learned that many times when he tried talking to her, convincing her he hadn't cheated, he got her to fuck him instead. Apparently she turns all that anger into passionate rage and ends up having angry sex with him. I don't know how many times they did it, what I know is that there's definite proof it happened, she got pregnant.

When I learned about it, I asked him how in the world that was possible if she claims he hates his guts now.

"She looks even prettier when she's mad, so I had to kiss those angry pouts away, chére." He declared smugly. He didn't even try to hide how happy he was that he knocked her up yet again, even though she still wouldn't take him back in her bed.

All the while, he kept acting friendly to me. No amount of sexy clothing and insinuation were changing that. Sexual attraction can obliterate common sense and intuition in the most sensible people, and I knew he could be sexually attracted to me, so why didn't it work? I'll tell you why it didn't work! Because he loves her, truly loves that woman. I wonder what he sees in her that I lack. Fuck, I know it's not that! It's way beyond that. It's not what he sees, but what he feels. And that I failed to tell myself in that fucking letter, the man loves his woman. If only I knew, I would never have reached out for him.

But now that I have, and now I'm in love with him. So I decide to try one last thing. I knew the exact day he time travelled, so when he came back, I was going to tell him we were in a relationship. He wouldn't know for sure we weren't, so maybe things would start from there. It was a good plan.

Firstly I told him he was not spending enough time with Oli, he didn't refute that, so yes, it was him, the time traveling Gambit. He didn't know they were sharing him equally. That alone made me want to laugh. I could see it now, see him become mine, see that gorgeous child of theirs become my own.

And then came the question.

"Are we together now? Me and you?" He asked with a frown.

"Kind of.", I lie convincingly.

But my efforts have gone to waste. Even after that, he wouldn't have me. The next two days I tried, and tried, but he wouldn't even kiss me, until he finally confessed.

"Sorry, chére. I know you say we had a thing going on, but I just can't bring myself to, to be with you, you know? I'm still in denial. I can't believe Anna and I are not together. Besides, I don't think it would be fair to use you, you know, for sex. It's her that I want."

I told him it was okay, that I was patient, but he had an insight, a dangerous idea.

"You know what? If I did it once, I could probably do it again." He says with sparkling eyes, full of determination.

"Do what?" I ask incredulously. He couldn't possibly be thinking…

"Go back in time. Sorry, Joelle. But I can't stand being away from her. Perhaps if I don't go with you, I'll fix this."

What I didn't have the guts to tell him is that he wouldn't be erasing me, I'd still know who he was, I'd still be tempted to do whatever it takes to snatch him away from her.

-O-O-

Author's Notes:

Thanks all of you who are keeping up with the story, special thanks to all reviewers. You guys keep me going.

This chapter, we had an unexpected but very fruitful collaboration. My dear friend Kataract52 did the Belle's lines in this chapter and I think they are awesome. I had written it all, sent it to her for her opinion, and then, at my request, she edited what I had written giving Belladonna much more sass. I loved the results! I hope you do too. It was a lot of fun doing this writing exercise. Thanks again, Kat!

As always, please read and review, guys. Have a lovely week, everyone!