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Note : If I say I drop another bomb. . . What says you?
Love Me For Thirty Days
DAY SIXTEEN
Sunday
.
.
.
"The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off."
― Joe Klaas, Twelve Steps to Happiness
There wasn't anything else to be said.
Of course, the guilt was always there. Eating him raw, swallowing him whole, spitting him out into a ball of shit he knew he deserved to be. But for now, Seijuurou knew that she was feeling the same way too.
But in the end, it all came down to him. He, who had lost his feelings in the first place. He, who longed for something more. He, who made no effort on knitting his connection back together ― instead, woe another woman to his heart.
Just, what had been the cause of his own actions?
Was it mere stupidity?
An Akashi to be an idiot? Well, that was indeed a rare thing to be heard of. Yet, this time, Seijuurou would admit it loud and clear, he was a fool. Nothing more than a fool for both Yui and the blunette.
He could actually see it. Tetsuya's face had been so clear, so honest ― it was just up to him that he wanted to admit or not. It was the expression of loss and heartbroken and betrayal. Seized directly by his poor, kind soul and it wasn't Yui's fault that they met one random day, it wasn't Tetsuya's fault for being at the current spot, it wasn't fate's fault that they talked.
It will all be directed to him.
At night, Tetsuya had spoken few words as usual. He'd put Sakura to bed, like a doting godparent he was. The girl had been too exhausted to realise what was happening, nor did she question ― she wasn't curious to begin with. Tetsuya's expressions were clear to him, but not for a child like her.
"Did you have fun there?" Tetsuya stroked the cerise strands, enjoying the silkiness by the tip of his fingers.
Sakura giggled, "Oh yes! When otou-san was searching for you, Chihiro-san brought me to a park instead. That's why Sakura-chan got this!" she waved a panda plush, small like the palm of Seijuurou's hand but she was still happy nonetheless.
"That's. . . very good to hear," the blunette smiled.
Seijuurou had been leaning against the wall, listening to the whole conversation. Picking up traces and hints from the tone the blunette was speaking.
Had he always spoke in hushed tones? It wasn't melodious, nor did Seijuurou wanted him to speak in melodies or whatsoever. But Tetsuya's was kind and warming, just a nice touch to Sakura's own feelings who had rarely experienced her own father talking to her in that way before. Everyone knew Aomine was busy, everyone including Aomine Sakura herself.
"Alright, I know you're very tired," he heard the blunette spoke again, and he heard the girl giggling from something he did, "Let's make some breakfast together tomorrow, okay?"
The girl squealed, "Sakura-chan get to make breakfast?!"
"Mhm."
"Oh great, can you make me some pancakes too," beamed the girl, "I always love your pancakes, chichiue."
The blunette was silent for a matter of seconds, and Seijuurou wondered why. ". . . Okay, Sacchan. But now, sleep you go. . ."
Seijuurou hinted that Tetsuya was about to leave judging from the creaks of the bed. Out of haste, he pretended to walk a few distance away before the blunette went out of the room to witness his spouse glaring toward the walls, arms crossed awkwardly and one finger scratching his cheek. He quirked his eyebrows, pallid blue pierced intently toward the glimpsing multi-coloured ones.
"Sei. . .?"
The redhead dared himself to look up and meet the clear blue pools. Seijuurou swallowed his nerves, "Yeah?"
"What are you doing here?"
"I, uh. . ." one finger brushed his nose, "About to sleep."
The shorter male wasn't convinced. "Are you sure?"
"Positively sure."
He was hoping that there wouldn't be any more questions. He didn't want to get caught, but damn, was he obvious right now. And of course, Tetsuya was taking in every hints he could get. Just as he was observing the blunette, he had to remind himself over and over again that the blunette was observing him as well.
And there was a sigh, released into the thick air of tension just to add more pressure. "I know you're listening, Sei. . ."
"Look, I'm ―"
Tetsuya closed their distance together. Now it was a matter of inches, eye to eye contact turning into a heated battle to who was about to avert their gazes first.
"If you're about to say anything about what happened today," he was glaring, for fuck's sake, "You better don't."
Seijuurou huffed, exasperation held between his exhales and he held onto one shoulder, his grip tight. "Look Tetsuya, I just want to know ―"
"Don't say it. . ."
He turned his back, pushing the arm away and he walked farther. Tetsuya pretended to close his ears with both of his palms pressed together at the sides of his head.
"I'm sorry ―"
He hummed a song. Seijuurou wasn't sure of what song specifically but he knew the blunette was feigning ignorance. That didn't meant stopping him from bringing up the subject though.
"I mean, can you listen to me for a sec ―"
"Seijuurou, please!"
He was almost in tears, but that didn't halt Seijuurou any further. He was tired of the blunette running away from the subject, running away from the matter. He was sick of playing happy family when he knew the household was broken in the first place. He was sick that he was playing along with Tetsuya's delusions.
That at some point, he wanted this to stop. Even if it meant sending the blunette in a tsunami of tears. He have to hurt Tetsuya, for now. To make him realise at some point. To make him see that this wasn't all just a game he could play and move on.
With all of his anger and impatience boiled up at one point, he slammed one fist against the wall loud and groaned. The impact caused a resonance, causing echoes to float around the empty halls for seconds before he trudged closer to the cowering blunette.
"You know what, Tetsuya. If you want to run away so much, then why don't you do it literally?"
"W-What are you talking about?" He looked torn, and hurt as Hell.
Seijuurou huffed, but he raised his voice louder. "I just wanted to settle all this, can't you see! Here I am, making this into effort. Putting a lot of work I'm not supposed to just to make you admit, but why do you have to always hide it like it doesn't matter?!"
"That's not how it ―"
"Oh yeah?" He swallowed, one hand wiping the sweat from his jaw, "And running in circles makes everything easier? I don't think so."
"Please, Sei. . ." Tetsuya gulped, choking himself with newly-found tears that started flowing endlessly, "I just don't want you to get hurt. . ."
The redhead hardened his glare, "Are you sure? Because you don't seem to realise you're hurting me right now. . ." Seijuurou closed the gap in between them both, his shaking hands direly wanted to caress the wet cheeks. But he stopped midway, and he sighed, "I need a break, Tetsuya."
The redhead stepped away from the gaping blunette, shocked by the impact of his words. A few moments later, he heard their bedroom door crashing to a close. Quite harshly, he might add. But still. . . He never thought it would turn out this way. That one thing he was protecting, it was futile in the end.
In the end, his efforts were all. . .
Gone.
"Oh Kami, Sei ―" the blunette dropped to the floor, "I'm so sorry. . ."
The Akashi heir could hear the sobs pretty well from outside, he heard the agony in his cries. The realisation. And he hoped that it was all worth, that when tomorrow comes, everything would be different.
It was bound to be different.
But of course, Seijuurou wished that he had never predicted the after events of his own actions. That every actions had their own effects, and one was sure to be familiar with unpredictability when it came to an Akashi's influence.
Tetsuya was that unpredictability, however.
That one Sunday morning, Seijuurou found himself waking alone, weighed with a dreadful feeling. He felt a sense that a storm was about to brew upon this morning, dark clouds rolled up ahead from the window. He stretched his arm, expecting to feel the lithe body beside him but was met with empty space. The spot beside him was bare, and lacked the familiar warmth he sensed every single day. The redhead went into shambles, panicking as he dashed around every room of his own home just. And there wasn't any presence of Akashi Tetsuya at all, not a trace of his whereabouts. No trace of breakfast, so he hadn't been cooking early in the morning with Sakura as well.
Speaking of Sakura. . .
The redhead ran upstairs once more and head over to the girl's room. He expected the pink-haired child to be sprawled beneath the duvet, all comfy and sleeping. But the bed was empty, saved by the mess she had left and Sakura was sitting on the swivel chair looking like a kicked puppy.
Hints that she had been crying. Hints that she had somehow talked to her chichiue before he somehow disappeared.
The girl had refused to meet his eyes, but she muttered audible enough to hit the redhead straight to his feels; "Chichiue left. . . This morning. . . We didn't get to cook together after all. . ." She started sobbing, her small hands wiping gossamer tears from her blue eyes, "Why did he left, otou-san?"
There was so many words he wanted to say, so many he had to admit. But he found himself caught between his own dilemma, between his own pain ― and oh dear, was he crying as well?
And the only words that he managed to blurt out came like a mantra, "I don't know. . . I don't know. . ." Because he might as well know, but deep inside. . . Seijuurou himself was lost.
Perhaps, there was a reason for Tetsuya's own game.
The deal.
It served a purpose to make their joy lasted as it could.
In the end, their conflict was nothing more but a double edged sword. Both had their own reasons, both had their own hopes and wishes ― but both came to end with a blistering pain in the end.
That, nothing mattered anymore.
It was useless. . .
Tetsuya had ran away.
Literally.
TO BE CONTINUED
Mozu : I FINALLY GRADUATE HAHAHAHA AND THEN I MAKE THIS HAHAHAHAH
I change my plans, it seems like you guys can predict what I'm writing. So, I'm like nu-uh, let's make them cry harder! HARDER! Hahaha sorry. . .
It feels strange not to go to school anymore. I am lost. Lol. And I don't feel ready to leave school actually. Most said you gain true friends in college, but the people I spent time with in high school, they make my life worth a living. And I truly love my class. ;u;
So yeah, now I'm just gonna go gaming! Add me in Steam, ohmirawrr if you want to play TF2 or Paladins or L4D2 or anything with me. I'm happy for some companion and I'm ready to meet new friends :D
X for love O for hate! You know the drill ;)
-Mozu The Mochi (2016)