Rose was screaming. Again.
I looked at the clock to see that it had been a mere forty minutes since the last time I had gotten up and consoled her.
Oh, Annabeth, don't worry! Juniper had said. Rosie sleeps through the night now. You won't even know she's there.
Sleep through the night, my ass.
"Ugh," moaned Percy. "You've got to be kidding me." He rolled over and pulled his pillow over his head.
"Aren't you going to go take care of her?" I asked tiredly, vowing to never again babysit for Grover and Juniper.
"Why can't you do it?" he mumbled from under his pillow.
"Because I did it last time," I whined. Rose continued to test the capacity of her lungs, shrieking an incredible volume.
"Can't you just do it again?"
"Why do I have to do it?"
"Because you're a girl!"
"So?" I asked incredulously, glaring furiously at my fiancé.
"So, you're supposed to be good at this stuff!" Percy snapped, finally raising his head to face me. "Although judging by the way tonight's going, I have my doubts."
What a douche.
Throwing the covers off with disgust, I clumsily made my way to the portable crib constructed in the living room of Percy's apartment. There, sitting with her verdant little fingers clenched in fists was Rose. Rose, who had spent the night confirming my worst fear as a twenty four year old female:
That I wasn't cut out to be a mother.
Never having a mother figure in my life, everything I knew about caring for a child was from watching reruns of Friends, which gave me next to no confidence. When I agreed to watch Rose, I had hoped to prove to myself that I possesed natural maternal instincts and that I could nurture a child and that I'd be a good mom someday.
So far, life had taken that hope and spat it back into my face. Rose continued to scream, Percy continued to complain, and I continued to wonder what the hell I was doing wrong.
Honestly, even besides the unexplained wailing, Rosie was a mystery to me. Even though she had already turned one, the facts surrounding her birth were hazy at best. Half satyr and half tree nymph, the poor kid was literally part goat, part human, part plant.
And I thought I had it bad being half human, half Olympian Goddess.
Nobody knew exactly how Rosie came to be, though Percy constantly joked that Grover and Juniper grew her in a flower pot. She had inherited most of Junipers looks, but definitely had Grover's appetite for recyclables. Rosie's little face was green, elfin featured and framed by a curtain of amber curls. She was a bit impish at times, causing trouble, but she was generally easy going.
Tonight though, she was anything but easy going.
"Hey, come here," I cooed, picking her up and resting her on my hip, breathing in the sweet smell all babies seem to carry around them. Channeling my inner mommy, I did a quick inspection; everything seemed to be status quo, and under closer scrutiny I discovered the kid wasn't even crying, but was in fact ginning at me as she let out peals of high pitched undulations.
"Shhh," I said soothingly, petting down her mass of curls and kissing her nose. "It's time to be quiet now, sweetie." Scream.
"No, no more," I said. "We don't want to make the neighbors angry." Scream
"Rosie, please stop." Scream.
Why does this child hate me?
"Okay, kiddo," I said, dropping the baby talk. "Time for a little heart to heart. Honestly Rosie, it's almost four in the morning. I'm tired. You're screaming for nothing. I'm talking to an infant who doesn't even understand what I'm saying. I'm scared I don't have maternal instincts. And mostly, I'm the one getting in trouble for your shenanigans." I threw a meaningful glance at the bedroom where Percy was. "Between you and me, Percy hasn't exactly been the dreamboat that he usually is. So if you could cooperate so we can avoid an argument, that would be fabulous." Rosie, head cocked to one side, seemed genuinely interested in my little tirade.
Scream.
I could slay a monster with my bare hands, but calm a child? Of course not.
Sighing, I walked her over to the window, swaying back and fourth in attempt to lull her to sleep. If this kid didn't pipe down in the next ten minutes, Percy was going to lose it.
He'd been unbelievably short tempered with me of the late, for what reason I did not know. He was most defiantly stressing about his prep for the Olympics, which I understood, but still didn't seem like a real reason to be pissed at your girlfriend. But what do I know? I'm not an Olympic athlete. I'm just a girl designing buildings over here.
Most of Percy's antics were just excessive eye rolling and heavy sarcasm, but occasionally he would have an outburst and we'd really go at it. And unlike how most of our fights used to go, instead of working out the fight we just pretended it didn't ever happen, only to have the issue dragged up a few days later in another round of bickering. It was a miserable circle that we were running around in.
I was broken out of contemplation by Rosie, who had begun crying again. Putting her head on my shoulder, I rocked back and fourth, doing my best to be motherly.
Maybe I just didn't have the mommy gene. Maybe the traits I inherited from Athena burned them out of my DNA. It would make sense; Athena was no mother of the year. How many times had she threatened to murder my fiancé...?
"Annabeth," grumbled Percy, sauntering sleepily into the room. "Can you keep that thing quiet for two seconds?"
Well, speak of the devil.
"I'm trying," I said stiffly, trying to be patient.
"Well, try harder," he flashed.
"Excuse me!" I said, rounding on him. "But you haven't been any help at all." Rose's form weighed heavily on my hip. "When we agreed to help Grover and Juniper, we both were supposed to do this!"
"I need my sleep! I'm training," he grouched. "I can't be taking care of a baby!"
"Well, maybe you should be a man and help me," I snapped.
"Oh, forget you, Annabeth," mumbled Percy, walking toward the kitchen.
I sank down onto the battered love seat, which welcomed me with open arms. This love seat, where I had spent so many hours snuggled up to Percy. I looked down at my lap at Rosie, who had grown quiet during our bickering. Is this what the rest of my life would be like? Married to Percy, taking care of his children by myself, being forgotten? Panic seeped into me, filling up every corner of my heart. This is not what I want. This isn't what I wanted when I said I'd marry Percy.
Percy trudged back into the room, rubbing his stubbly jaw. "Can we sleep now?"
I didn't say anything, just kept staring at Rosie. She looked back at me, brown calf eyes staring intently into mine. Suddenly, she stuck out her tongue at me, and at once I was struck by how I never would have put up with this before, before when I was full of so much spunk and gusto.
What am I doing?
"No," I said.
"What?" said Percy, turning to look back at me. "What's that?"
"No, we can't go to sleep." I met his perplexed gaze.
"Uh... Why not?"
"We need to talk."
"For the love of Zeus, can we do this tomorrow? I have training and-"
"Forget about fucking training for one whole minute and listen to me," I said, on my feet to put Rose down again. "All of this training has made a complete monster out of you. And I'm sick of it! I'm sick and tired of your attitude and, and quite frankly I feel like I don't even know you."
"Jesus!" swore Percy. "Stop overreacting. I'm just stressed, that's all. Come on." He jerked a head towards the bedroom.
"I'm serious, Percy."
He walked over and kissed my forehead, taking my hand. "I love you. There, better?" He looked at me expectantly.
"I love you too, but I really want to talk about this!"
"Talk about what!?" Percy asked angrily, dropping my hand. "Look, you're all bent out of shape just because you," he said, jabbing a finger at my chest, "can't take care of Rosie!"
"That's not true!" I said, tears stinging my eyes.
"Yes, it is!" he shouted, his words like knifes.
"No it's not!" I shrieked. "I don't need your reasons! I'm trying to communicate with you and you won't even try-"
"I'm done," he snarled, turning. "We'll finish this tomorrow."
"Who put you in charge?!" I said shrilly. "In case you haven't noticed, were both in this relationship, but you think you call the shots now, you just push me around-"
"Will you just shut up?" yelled Percy, smashing his fist into the countertop. "It's just like I said! You can't accept the fact that you don't have a single motherly cell in your body!"
"You and your mean streak can stop talking right now-"
"You can't even nurture a plant, look at the fern we got- dead!"
"That was your fault-"
"You," he said, taking a step closer, "are just pissed because you're failing!"
"Stop!" I wailed, as Percy stood inches away, towering over me.
"You-"
"Please, stop!"
"You will never be a good mom! No matter how much you try to pretend! Give it up!"
"Get away from me!" I shrieked, swinging out at him.
Percy was quicker, and he pushed me hard, sending me crashing to the ground. Tears streamed down my face, tasting salty on my lips. I looked up at him, both of us shocked into silence.
"I..." The hard look in Percy's eyes was gone, replaced by the old Percy, the loving and endearing one. "Annabeth, I'm so sorry, I just..."
"Why?" I whispered.
Percy didn't answer, but he knelt down next to me to help me up.
"No," I sniffled, pushing him away. I pulled myself up to my feet, not looking at him. I needed Percy like a heartbeat, but right then I really needed space to think.
"I'll stay up and take care of Rose," he offered desperately in lame attempt to make amends.
"She's already asleep," I said coldly, glancing at Rosie who had, in fact, managed to fall asleep during our shouting match. Not bothering to look at him. I walked toward Percy's bedroom, feeling his eyes on me.
"I'll just sleep out here, okay?" he asked, his voice somewhere between pleading and apologetic.
"Sounds good to me," I said quietly, closing the door behind me. I sank onto the bed, feeling confused and frustrated. I knew in my heart that I would forgive Percy, but what I needed was to take my time to do it.
I wasn't really bothered that he had pushed me; I had done my fair share of shoving in our fights. We were demigods, highly trained in combat. We were used to physically fighting each other, and our fights usually involved little pushing and shoving. What had really hurt the most were his words; You will never be a good mom.
Was it true? Would I be a good mom? My childhood was marked by bad parenting, between not even meeting my own mother until adolescence and my father essentially neglecting me, I feared it was genetic. What if my children hated me? And, by extension, what if I turned out to be a bad wife?
What was I even doing getting married?
Shivering with self doubt and uncertainty, I wiggled under the duvet. Judging by the lack of snoring coming from the family room, Percy wasn't asleep either. After laying there for a while, I rolled over to Percy's side of the bed. I burrowed my head into his pillow, breathing in his scent. It smelled like Percy always did, like cotton and sea salt and cinnamon and toothpaste and something else, something sort of light and sweet. Apples? Maybe it was apples.
I snuggled down into the covers and pushed all thoughts of baby's and weddings and housewives out of my mind, letting Percy's smell envelope me.
Lemons, I realized as I drifted off. That dork was using my shower gel again. Smiling to myself, I feel asleep.
Hours later, I woke up to my cat Kermit walking on my face. Lifting him up and squinting, I saw that it was well past ten in the morning.
Expecting Percy to be at training by now, I was stunned to see him with his head resting on the kitchen table, fast asleep with his arms sprawled out. Rosie sat in the high chair next to him, and looked at me with an expression that clearly said, Look whose hands you've left me in.
Suppressing a giggle, I lifted Rose out of the chair, bowl of apple sauce clenched in her little green grasp. As I raised her up, she threw the applesauce down, landing perfectly on Percy's head.
"Hey! Watch it- oh. Hi," said Percy, drawing up short upon seeing me.
"It wasn't me," I told him, pointing at Rose who wore an impish grin. "I'm not that mad at you," I said. He laughed.
"Well, you had every right to throw mushed up food at me, I suppose," he said, turning serious. "I was a real asshole last night-"
"I know."
"And I realized I wasn't helping out at all-"
"Not one bit."
"And... I'm most sorry about what I said about your mothering abilities."
I waited. Percy looked at me intently, sincerity burning in his eyes. "You're going to be a wonderful mom, Annabeth."
"Hardly," I snorted. "Look, I can't even manage Rose."
"That's different," objected Percy, following me as I plopped Rosie down in her portable crib. "One, she's not your baby. Every baby makes a big fuss for anyone besides their own mom. And two, Rose is an evil mastermind. I mean, look at this," he said, gesturing to the applesauce on his head. "This is not normal behavior for a child of her age."
I smiled, though I still had my doubts. Seeing that I still wasn't convinced, Percy patted his lap for me to sit on.
Pulling me close, he asked, "Do you know why you're going to be the best mommy ever?"
"Why?"
"Because you care," he said. "And because I'll be there, helping you every step of the way. We're in this together, right? We're going to be a team, just like we've always been."
I looked up into his green eyes. "Promise?"
"Promise," he said, pecking me on the nose. Feeling better than I had for the entire month, I hopped off his lap and stood up, and he followed suit.
"I love you," he said, pulling me close by my waist.
"I love you too," I said, and I reached up as he tilted his head down to kiss me.
Splat!
I jerked back to see that the majority of the applesauce had slid right off of Percy's head and onto my own, nestling itself in my nest of curls.
"Uh…" stammered Percy guiltily. "Oops."
"Oops is right,' I said, dragging a hand through my freshly sauced hair.
"Well, looks like we both need showers now," said Percy cheerfully with a wink. "Care to save water and shower with me?"
I rolled my eyes, though I was already following him to the bathroom. "Why, just so you can use my shower gel again?"
"Me? Use your shower gel? Men don't use shower gel, Annabeth," said Percy. "They use body wash."
"Oh, please," I said, swatting him. "If you aren't using my shower gel, then why does your pillow smell like Summer Lemon?"
"It's not Summer Lemon," he protested. "I believe it's called Manly Citrus."
"Uh huh," I said, wiggling my eyebrows at him.
"Hey, maybe after we shower we could—"
"Don't push your luck, Jackson."
"Right," he said.
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