My Dearest Kindred Spirit,
A lot can happen in a single day, lifelong friends meet, children left as orphans, people fall in love, people say goodbye, and sometimes the simple joys of life are just appreciated.
The week following graduation from Queens College will always be the most joyous of my life. Every flower from bud to bloom sighted from my second story window at my beloved Green Gables is etched upon my soul. Every plan a friend shared, every laugh experienced, all our hopes and happiness were a special ingredient making up the most scrumptious community. The time we shared bonded us, and strengthened my sense of belonging. Of course, I didn't see it right away. It took months of reliving those moments. At first, I was lost in my own anger. I was not ready for you to leave me. I lived in a world of naivety and failed to live beyond what my eyes could see. How long were you ill? The question haunts me daily.
The first evening back we celebrated my achievement of winning the Avery Scholarship. Green Gables opened its doors and everyone stopped by for Marilla's cakes and teas. All my classmates were there along with their families. Rachel Lynde even had Mr. Lynde haul down their phonograph machine and single phonograph disc. Diana was there with her darling sister, Minnie May and parents. The LaCroix's were there. Even the reverend stopped by. We laughed and danced and everyone took great joy in sharing stories that depicted me in the center of calamity.
Surprisingly, Gilbert was unaware of many of them. After Diana's parents left, Diana took great joy sharing the time I invited her for tea and we both ended up accidentally drunk. There wasn't a dry eye, we were all overcome with hilarity. Even my Marilla couldn't stop her laughter.
I remember turning to Gilbert to ask if he still wanted to involve himself with the likes of me, but before I could open my mouth to ask he had said, "Every day will be an adventure together, Anne." He promptly kissed my check. He knows when and how to ease my mind and thoughts. We had been officially engaged since the spring. We had stepped out to enjoy the beautiful spring morning, through his orchard and between all the blooming trees but it wasn't until we were walking down the white way of delight, surrounded by the blossoms from the many drooping cherry trees that he got down on one knee and proposed. I had prepared a great oracle, quoting my favorite authors but I was so overcome with bliss that my heart overflowed and my thoughts and speaking ability left me, aside from the one simple life changing, "YES."
I had every intention of studying and improving my writing in Toronto, thanks to the Avery. Gilbert had at least two years remaining before he'd become a doctor. We had been talking about a wedding as soon as the following summer.
Life was simply blissful on that first night back. Even Billy Anderson approached me with a heartfelt congratulations and he even offered a quick and quiet apology for his hurtful ways when we were younger. I didn't dare say I had forgiven him because I hadn't and wouldn't. Instead, I offered my own congratulations, "Best wishes to you and your new bride, Gertrude."
Billy tipped his hat, "Enjoy your evening. I must get back to Gertie."
Gertie studied at Queens and although I didn't have any classes with her I knew she had a VERY outspoken and dominating personality. In fact, rumor had it that she ruled her circle with an iron fist and took on the task of "finishing" her husband. She was seeing to his education on both business and the fine arts. Gilbert would say it was a task as difficult as brain surgery.
As Billy climbed into his buggy, I once again turned to Gilbert but before I could make a crack about finishing my husband, Gilbert had managed to cover my mouth with his hand. He had started laughing but managed to say, "I saw the thought form in your eyes. They lit up and sparkled like sapphires. They always do when something has amused you. I can assure you, your husband needs no finishing." I laughed at being predictable and bit his finger. Our happiness seemed to fuel your own happiness, my dear Matthew. Although you don't speak out much, when you do, even my friends know enough to listen. It was then you shared our first meeting. Just you and I and the lake of shining waters and the white way of delight. You even shared how I had pinched my arm black and blue just to prove it was real. Gilbert held tight to my hand. It reminded him that I had done the same thing after our first kiss. You had said I brought color to your world. I think it was Moody who had shouted, "a vibrant red." Everyone clapped. I felt so loved. Gilbert discretely wiped away a lone tear. He still has a hard time with what I had endured before you picked me up that day at the station. I squeezed his arm to remind him, it was all worth it to me.
Friends and acceptance, we were all free to be ourselves and the support we had for one another shined as strong as the sun, or as Moody would say, as strong as my red hair. Everyone had departed that night with plans to pick back up in the morning to fish and lounge in the sun at Bash and Muriel's favorite stream.
But my night wasn't over. It was our time, the Cuthbert's time. We relived our favorite parts of the night and shared our thoughts and support for each other. It became a nightly habit. No matter how late my friends kept me out, it always ended with our time. I shared our activities and laughs and you offered your insights and support.
The next morning, I cooked breakfast and then Gilbert was there to pick me up. Marilla and I had packed some food. I invited the two of you along but you declined. I wanted to stay behind to help Jerry but you wouldn't let me. The crops had all been planted and there wasn't much to be done. I had said if that were true then you two would join us. It worked and you agreed to catch up with us at lunchtime.
Rachel Lynde was there ahead of us all. Her and Mr Lynde had stopped at the church and brought over a few tables, along with Mr Lynde's single phonograph disc and machine. Thankfully, Moody had also brought his banjo. Of course, music was for later. We didn't want to scare the fish away. We spread out along both sides of the stream and wandered around to each other's blankets. Gilbert pointed out how I never had to leave my blanket and just as soon as one person got up, another would sit down. Finally, he put his pole down and pulled me up. He declared he was taking his fiance for a walk. I was never tired of hearing that.
Gilbert took me to a private stream where I was able to wade in the water and before long, the Lacroix's came along. Delphene and I splashed and threw rocks until Gilbert was certain no one would catch a fish for miles because we would have scared them off. Miss Stacy had wed Dash two summers ago. They had become great friends, spending all their free time together. Hazel and Muriel got along perfectly. Hazel enjoyed the running of the house while the new Mrs Lacroix continued teaching. Miss Stacy and Dash were even tinkering with Avonlea's first motor car. Well it was more like a motorized cart but they had a lot of fun discussing and giving demonstrations in Muriel's classroom. Life was progressing and moving forward on our part of Prince Edward Island. Mrs Muriel Lacroix was expecting her first child at the end of the summer.
Gilbert and I made our way back to the picnic and fishing, I remembered pausing and gazing about good weather and good friends. You and Marilla had arrived. It was hard to tell who was a friend and who was family. I loved you all so much.
The next afternoon I was invited by my good friend Mr. Malcolm Frost to speak and recite as part of the Charlottetown Gazette's luncheon on progress. It was hosted by Aunt Josephine and Cole so naturally, the entire gang was taking the train back to Charlottetown. Charlie still couldn't believe we had excluded him from our day of hopping the freight to save our beloved teacher years ago. He likely wouldn't believe it at all if Gilbert wasn't there to back up Moody's story. What a glorious time. I can't explain how beautiful these moments were. The only bit of unpleasantness came the next day and even then that unpleasantness ended in great joy….
The train was loud and full of laughter with what seemed like all of Avonlea headed to Charlottetown. Of course, Gilbert had seats waiting for us. He managed to seat the adults together then he and I headed toward the back of the train with our loud friends.
Aunt Josephine had her ballroom arranged like an auditorium and had even had a special stage built. I had worked for Mr Frost while studying at Queens. I was known for my articles on the residential schools for the First Nation's children. You and I were against them and I tried my best to convince everyone else. I first spoke about the schools and then later, I recited a dramatic poem, "The Lady of Shalott," with the help of my best childhood friends. Apparently as the play was winding down a group had noisily come in and one of the young men had made a comment, "Who's the titan haired beauty?" It was loud enough that Diana had heard it from the stage. By the time the commotion had caused my attention to be diverted, all I was able to see was Gilbert leading a large fellow out by his ear. Moody and Charlie were on his heels. I had lost my audience but wasn't about to give up. I raised my voice and added some clever jokes, the audience laughed with me and I directed their attention back to grieving friends as they adorned me with flowers and pretended to send me down river.
As soon as it was over, I sought out Gilbert who profusely apologized. It wasn't his fault. He was my personal hero.
The days passed quickly but I remember so much and so many details. These days were the biggest of my life so far.
It was a Sunday night. We finished our Cuthbert time and you said, "I don't think I've ever been happier, Anne, than when I am seeing you and your friends so happy." I reached over and squeezed your dear sweet arm, "They're your friends too, Matthew."
You kissed my head and even kissed Marilla's head. I heard her say, "Go on you old fool," but she had a smile on her face. You went up a few steps and paused and turned back to me. You nodded and said, "I suppose they are indeed, my friends too."
Then you were gone. I turned to Marilla and caught her wiping a tear off her check. "I don't think Matthew ever expected to have any friends, Anne. He was so shy. You certainly changed our lives for the better." Marilla and I made our way to our beds, happy and peaceful.
The next morning we woke up but you didn't my dear kindred spirit. I was so furious at myself. I should have done more, done anything and everything to give you more time. We still mourn for you. Marilla was immediately grateful for our final week but you know me, Matthew. My temper is its own being. I wrestled with anger at you for leaving me and anger at myself for somehow allowing it.
Dear Matthew, I see now that that wonderful and glorious week served to strengthen my soul and strengthen my ties to my loved ones, my community. I'll never be an orphan again. I'm sure I would have been lost if I had not been able to share my love for you with our friends. I like to think that somehow you saw to that and I love you even more.
Of course, your leaving brought about great waves of change. Marilla turned your room into a bigger pantry. Jerry built her new shelves and you should see it. Josie even painted a small painting of your likeness. We keep it in the pantry. I often hear Marilla talking to it while working in the kitchen. We've enough jams and canned goods to get us through the next two decades. Marilla spent the whole summer mourning you and canning with Rachel.
The old pantry was redone for Jerry, who moved in as soon as it was finished. Diana and Jerry do everything they can to avoid each other, never in the same room alone and I think they must have some secret string that measures ten feet long because they are never closer than ten feet. If one steps forward the other has already stepped back. Diana refuses to even be a part of a conversation when Jerry's name is mentioned. She assures me it's my wild imagination but she's fooling no one. I caught them the other morning watching each other, looking directly at each other while Diana walked up to the front door. They didn't take their eyes off each other.
It made me miss Gilbert. Now, I know you've realized I'm not in Toronto but I want to reassure you I'll be there in time for the Spring semester. I didn't want to leave Marilla until I was sure she would be okay. Muriel and Bash had a son and named him Matthew. I also stayed to be Avonlea's substitute teacher while they adjusted and Muriel recovered. Gilbert assures me I'll fit right in in Toronto. I'm not sure I want to fit in anywhere but on Prince Edward Island but I will try.
I'll be forever grateful for having you in my life.
I'll love you always and forever,
Your Anne with an e.