The hospital room was empty, save for Luke. But he blended like a shadow. She had waited for Clary to leave, to return to the Institute.
Her mother was on the bed, unconscious.
Eliza held a box in her hands, two letters delicately inscribed on top of the box. She ran her fingers over it as she neared Jocelyn's bedside.
"I'll give you a minute alone with her." Luke stood up from his chair. She murmured a quiet thank you and remained silent until he left the room.
Eliza sat on the edge of the bed, facing her mother. She carefully opened the box. "Clary told me that you had this. A box for me and one for Jonathan. I went back to your home and I got it. I wanted to see what you had to remember me by."
Her fingers grazed over a photograph and she pulled it out. It was Jocelyn, though years younger. Her flame red hair fell down her shoulders in wild curls. She held a baby on her lap. Eliza recognized herself. She smiled at the photo. "I wondered about you for years. I could remember flashes of you. Red hair, green eyes. But sometimes, I thought I was just imagining you, making you up. But here you are, in front of me."
She smiled, putting the photo back in the box. Her fingers closed around the silver rattle and she pulled it out. There was a soft S etched onto the rattle. "I think I remember this. The S stands for Seraphina, doesn't it? His mother." She shook it gently and then put it back in the box. She closed it tightly.
"He said that I reminded him of you. I remember you told me that you used to wear your hair in braids the way I do. He told me that I looked like you when I did. He said he liked it. So…I cut my hair off. I felt sick when he said it."
Her fingers deftly touched at her hair. It had once gone past her shoulders, but it now stopped bluntly at her chin. "I'll be here when you wake up. And if I'm not, I'll get here as soon as I can. Like you said, there's so much we have to catch up on, Mama."
Her fingers gently moved to arranged Jocelyn's hair. She stood up. "Wake up soon, Mama. Things are going to get ugly very soon."
Magnus had come for Alec, after all. He had healed him when the Silent Brothers had failed to make an appearance. And after that, he had stayed at the Institute, phone buzzing all night.
The entire Downworld was buzzing with the sure return of Valentine and the fact that he had three children. And one of them was under the clear protection of Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn.
Izzy had bugged Eliza about it, wondering how Magnus knew to come to Alec's aid. She pestered for about twenty minutes before Eliza cracked and admitted that she had begged Magnus to come and do anything he could to save Alec's life.
And then Izzy had enveloped her in the most bone-crushing hug. Crying and thanking her for saving Alec's life.
"The universe is really cruel, huh?" Alec poked her with his crutch.
He was standing with her in the kitchen as she made a sandwich, occasionally dropping pieces down to Church.
"What do you mean?" She asked, slicing the sandwich in two.
She saw him shrug. "You. Lying to all of us and then going to the extreme to protect us and then…all of that happening."
She shrugged in return, putting her sandwich on a plate. "To be honest, I felt the same at first. But then I realized the universe wasn't being cruel. It was being kind. Showing me who my real family was. Giving me a home I finally felt safe in."
Alec smiled widely at her. He snatched half her sandwich and took a bite. "You make a good sandwich, Morgenstern." He said while chewing.
She laughed, snatching the remaining sandwich half back. "Watch yourself, Lightwood."
"It's weird. You all are siblings, but you're all so different." Alec noted. "I mean, you and Clary share the eyes…"
She took a quiet bite of her sandwich and chewed. She swallowed and then looked at him, an uneasy smile on her face. "Well, you know how iffy genetics can be. But Jace looks exactly like our grandfather, Oskar. I saw a photo of him once. It's kind of weird."
And just like that, another lie to protect a different lie.
September
The door to her room slammed shut behind him. She looked back, her green eyes narrowed. "I said don't follow me. Are you deaf or just stupid?" She asked him.
He crossed his arms over his chest. "I must be stupid. But you're going to tell me everything. Why you lied, why you've done everything that you have."
Her shoulders slumped. So, the lies continued. They had to. She feared that he was watching her every move. She couldn't afford to make any mistakes. Not when the lives of the people she loved most were on the line. She couldn't be careless like she had been before.
"You're going to need to be more specific, Jonathan. I've done quite a few things."
He flinched at his name. A name that was his, but it wasn't his at the same time. "Everything you did for him. For our father. Why?"
Our father. Their father. The lie made her mouth chalky. She so desperately wanted to tell him that Valentine had lied, again. That he wasn't truly Jace's father. That the real Jonathan was alive, somewhere, with his cruel black eyes and that hollow, void laugh that chilled her spine.
"I value my life. I may have a terrible one, but I enjoy it sometimes." Jace's face pinched. He said that Valentine would have never killed her. She was his daughter. She laughed darkly. "Do you think that mattered to him? He killed our grandparents. He killed Michael Wayland and his infant son. In cold blood, he admitted that. You heard him say those things. He kept me because he needed me to do what he couldn't. I was an insurance policy, not a daughter."
Jace shook his head. "That's not true, Eliza. The way he talks to you, the way he looks at you, he loves you."
She swallowed. He wouldn't believe her without proof. She took off her shirt and turned, showing him her back. The cool air hit the jagged scars, raising goosebumps on her back. Jace's fingers were hot on her back, gently running over the thick scars. His breath was warm on the back of her neck. "They're from a whip, the tips edged with a demon metal, in case you were wondering." She murmured. "He called it the perils of obedience. Every time I didn't do something to his liking or to his standard, I was punished. You say he beat you, but he tortured me." She stepped away from him, putting on her shirt and turning back to face him. "You don't hurt the people you love, not intentionally, not like this. You don't torture them."
"You lied for him. You lied for him, even after this? After he did this to you?"
She nodded feebly. He would never understand. He had gotten a different Valentine, a different father. "I had to. You don't understand. If he tells you to do something, you do it. And it isn't like I did what he wanted me to do anyways. I never intended for him to have the Mortal Cup. I wanted to stop him." She laughed quietly. "Look how well that turned out. He's out there somewhere with the Cup and the Clave hasn't found him yet. You know they won't find him."
Jace sighed, rubbing his hands down his face. "You didn't have to lie to us. To me. We would have helped you, Lizzie." He said softly. So naïve, she thought. He wanted her to be good. To have a better reason for doing terrible things. Apparently, saving her own neck wasn't enough.
"You're acting as if you would have helped, but I know you. I know how you build walls around yourself and you don't let people in. I know exactly how you work, Jace Wayland." Her voice was as cold as her heart felt. Wayland, Wayland, Wayland. No, he was a Morgenstern now. He believed he was and he had to. But he insisted on Wayland. He thought Valentine was his father, but he did not want the last name. She didn't want it either.
Things had been easier when she was a Starkweather.
He said no quickly. "You can't. How could you?" He asked her quietly. "I only ever told you certain things. You don't know everything. You can't know everything."
"We were made for the same task. Why do you think he kept us around, but raised us separately? One of us was bound to fail and he knew that." Valentine had never thought of both of them failing him. One he deemed too soft for the task and the other too defiant to commit his evil. Good thing, she thought, he still had the real Jonathan behind him. "I knew everything about you. I knew where he kept you, I knew what he was teaching you. You were his great failure, Jace. You were too soft, too weak for him. So, he died again and had you sent here. Under the watchful eye of Hodge, who could still send him reports of you. And he told me everything. The falcon that you tamed, I knew of it long before you told me all those weeks ago. I knew you so much longer before you knew me." Her words came out smoothly.
She wanted to hurt him. She wanted him to feel what she felt. She couldn't stop herself. "How do you think I knew what buttons to press with you? Did you really think I was as kind and wonderful as I let you think I was? He told me everything about you."
How could she be kind, how could she be soft when she had the father that she did?
His face was pale, his mouth twitching. She knew he had never heard her talk so cruelly, be so cool and so biting at the same time. Not with him. Never with him. Her words were mirthless, she'd put all her effort into being unkind.
"Elaborate. Tell me everything." He demanded. "I need to know why."
He wouldn't quit. She felt like her heart was shattering after every word. She swallowed again, nodding.
"You were on my ass. You didn't trust me, and you didn't want to. I was new and I was a threat in your eyes. I knew about you, but not what I needed. Hodge told me exactly how to win you and that was what I did. I made you trust me." He said that she went a little too far on that one. She smiled sickly at him. "I had to make it believable." She lied.
She pitied him, how easy it was for him to believe Valentine's lie. How truly ignorant Jace really was. Because he did not fit into their family. Clary had Jocelyn's curly red hair and bright green eyes. Eliza had Valentine's platinum hair and Jocelyn's eyes. Jace had…he had the looks of an angel. But Valentine had raised him, so he was his father. But not biologically, not the way Jace thought he was.
"I gave you everything I had, Eliza." His voice was like a child's. He sounded small and defeated. Exactly how she had wanted him to feel. But she hadn't imagined she would feel so awful about it. "I trusted you."
Her eyes narrowed. "A stupid mistake on your part." She told him. He said nothing as he left her room, slamming the door shut.
Magnus had sent her to Taki's to pick up dinner. He had an 'unquenchable' craving for seabass and needed it immediately, he didn't want to wait for her to go down to the fish market, come back to the apartment and then cook it. He'd stuffed a fifty-dollar bill in her hand and sent her on her way, telling her to come back with no less than two pieces of grilled seabass.
"Well, look who it is." Kaelie grinned as she walked in the door. "We don't serve Morgensterns here."
Her name stifled the conversation in the diner. The constant Downworlder population in Taki's was overwhelming and a little dangerous to her. They all hated her father, so by extension, they hated her.
"So, does that mean you aren't serving Jace anymore either?" Eliza replied smoothly. "He'll be so disappointed."
Kaelie's blue eyes narrowed. She hadn't thought about Jace, then. But it wasn't about the Morgenstern name. Kaelie just didn't like Eliza.
The feeling was more than mutual. "I'm here for Magnus, anyways." The fey girl's shoulders tensed. Eliza liked having Magnus' name to use. No one wanted to piss him off. "He wants seabass, a lot of it. Grilled to perfection. I guess side that order with a salad and top that with those faerie plums he likes so well." Kaelie was scribbling it all down, not looking up from her notepad. "And I'll just have two pieces of the grilled salmon, no side."
Kaelie looked up at her and repeated the order. Eliza nodded and Kaelie disappeared into the kitchen to hand the order over.
"That's quite a bit of fish. Though I suppose the Nephilim need their strength." The voice was British and male. She turned her head to the side, taking in her new conversation partner.
The pale color of his skin jumped out at her. Vampire. She let herself take in the rest of his features. A beautiful aquiline nose, strong jawline. Eyes the color of warm caramel. Curly brown hair that fell over his ears.
"It's not all for me." She told him. "Most of it is for my friend-."
"Magnus Bane, yes, I heard." He smiled, his teeth a blinding white. His incisors were longer than the usual incisors, sharpened to a deadly point. "A Nephilim child friends with the High Warlock of Brooklyn. That must make you Eliza Morgenstern."
She raised an eyebrow. She turned her whole body towards him. "You've heard of me."
He nodded once, his curls bouncing softly. "I believe everyone in our world has. The defiant princess of the Morgenstern family. Beautiful as she is deadly."
"I'm blushing." Her voice was flat. She would have blushed, had the circumstance been different. Had he not been a vampire. One who possibly wanted to exact revenge on her father by killing her.
"I've heard many things about you. All impressive." That caught her attention. "You stabbed Santiago, I hear."
She knew he meant Raphael. She turned to show him the dark red scar on her neck. "He bit me." She said simply. "I'd say the bastard got less than he deserved."
The vampire boy chuckled, his laugh light and jovial. "I would agree, but Raphael is a potential ally to the London clan. I cannot speak out against him. Not publicly, anyways."
"I have to ask what a London vampire is doing in New York."
Kaelie called her name. Eliza fished the money from her pocket. "I'll pay for the young lady, Kaelie." The vampire handed Kaelie two twenties. "I'd also like some blood. Whatever you have on tap, please." Kaelie placed the bag in front of Eliza and took the money from the vampire, heading to the register.
"Thank you." Eliza said quietly.
It was odd, seeing a vampire smile benevolently. She wondered how old he really was. "You'd best get home to Mr. Bane, before your dinner gets cold."
She stood up, grabbing her food bag from the counter. "Your name, so I can send you a handwritten thank you note."
The vampire stood. He swiped his curls behind his ears and adjusted his dark grey suit jacket. She realized he was dressed unusually well for a young vampire. A suit jacket, fine black slacks and beautifully polished black shoes. "Declan Kensley. Though, I'd prefer a nice walk through the park instead of a note. Possibly a dinner?"
Was he asking her on a date?
"Until next time, Ms. Morgenstern. Enjoy your dinner." His cold hands took her own, pressing cold lips against her knuckles.
She slammed the door shut to Magnus' apartment. "Dinner!" She shouted, rushing to the table.
Magnus appeared in the room, wearing a silky purple robe with glittering stars embroidered on it. He had on his fuzzy black slippers and his nails were painted a dark blue.
"You look flustered. What's got your gear in a twist?" He chuckled, walking over to the cabinet. He took out two glasses and filled them with wine.
She took the food out of the bag and got two plates to put it on. "I ran into a vampire at the diner." She told him. "He goes by Declan Kensley."
She saw Magnus raise his eyebrows. "Kensley's in town? What did he say to you?"
She shrugged, sitting down. She began cutting her salmon. "He said something about allying with Raphael's clan. You know, before he asked me on a date or whatever."
Magnus choked on his wine. He put his wine glass down. "Declan Kensley asked you on a date? I'll need more details, little dove." She told him that he paid for their meal and then asked her for a walk in the park or dinner. "Well, little dove, I'm impressed. I've known Kensley for centuries. He's the head of the London clan and has been for a very long time. He's one of the more respectable vampires, but there's a reason no one has challenged him before."
She took a bite of her salmon and chewed slowly.
"I recommend saying yes. Declan is honorable and good. And he's an excellent courter. He once courted a Spanish princess before she was married off to someone of higher status."
How old was he, Eliza wondered. Courting? A Spanish princess?
"Magnus, he's a vampire. I barely know him. Besides, don't you think it's a little odd that a Downworlder would want to take me on a walk through the park? They don't exactly like me." She took a drink of her wine.
Magnus' cat eyes gleamed in the low lighting of the kitchen. She really hated that look, the I-know-so-much-more-than-you look. "Kensley is a gentleman first and a vampire second. I think you'd like him." He stood up and grabbed his notepad from the counter. "I'll send him a note right this moment and tell him that you'd love to go on a walk with him tomorrow evening. I can chaperone if you'd like."
She rolled her eyes, once again cutting into her salmon. Magnus was relentless. She knew he wanted her to be happy. Her happiness was always his concern. And if he approved of Kensley, who was she to spurn that? She sighed and then smiled over at him. "I'm a Shadowhunter, Magnus, I don't think I'll need a chaperone. If he gets too much, I'll just stake him."
Magnus continued writing on his notepad. He tore out the paper and crumpled it up. It burst into flames, disappearing in his hand. "That's my girl."
He had said six and he was just as punctual as Magnus had said he was. He arrived at five forty-five, just in time for tea, Magnus said. Magnus ushered Declan inside and put the tea on.
Chairman Meow pawed at Eliza's covered ankles. "What a cute cat." Declan mused.
"He's clingy." Eliza told him. Magnus muttered that it was only because Eliza spoiled him. "I just give him the attention that you don't. And," she said before he could put in a word, "throwing those parties in his name does not count."
Magnus frowned. "Declan, would you care for some tea? I know how much you used to enjoy it when you lived."
Declan nodded. "It's one of the few human pleasures I allow myself. You remember how I take it?"
Magnus gleamed in response and disappeared to the kitchen. "Hands to yourself, Kensley! She may cut them off!" He called from afar.
Declan looked at her, an amused expression on his face. "Do you wear gear on all of your dates, Miss Morgenstern? Or do you just not trust me to be a gentleman?" There was a glint of a smile on his lips.
He looked handsome. Almost…human. If he didn't have the unnaturally pale skin or the elongated incisors, he could have passed.
Magnus returned with Declan's cup of tea. He handed him the cup and Declan sniffed it. "I didn't realize you kept AB negative on tap, Magnus. Do you treat all of your Night guests this kindly?"
"No, unfortunately for them. But I remember what you like and I'm buttering you up because Declan Kensley, I will ruin your eternal life if you do wrong by my dove." Magnus' smile was bright and just the right amount of terrifying.
Declan looked at her and she shrugged in response. "He's protective, you learn to deal with it." She explained. "And yes, I always wear gear. You never know when a big scary monster might attack, and I'll have to protect you." She smiled at him.
"So, Miss Morgenstern, what do you like best about being a child of the Angel?"
The moon hung over the river, the stars dotting the dark sky. The moon over the park, the cool breeze of the wind, the family of ducks waddling near the pond, it was serene. She didn't remember the last time she had felt so relaxed and she wasn't sure if she ever had.
"Killing things." Her answer was anything but dishonest. She hadn't even had to think about it. The words just slipped.
Declan's eyebrows quirked, his mouth curving into an amused line. "Is that so?" He asked. She said yes evenly. "There is a certain…darkness to you. I can smell it on you."
She let out a laugh. "That isn't creepy at all." She told him. "And it's Eliza. You can call me Eliza, especially since you're trying to court me." She hid her smirk from him, turning to look at the pond.
"Well, Eliza, I sincerely apologize for my 'creepy' behavior and I hope I haven't scared you off." He stopped walking, grabbing a hold of her wrist. He was careful to avoid the knife. "I would like very much to keep seeing you, Miss Morgenstern. I find you very interesting and you are quite intricate and puzzling and for a Shadowhunter, you are unbelievable."
He made everything sound like poetry. Maybe it was just his accent. He reached over to push a piece of hair behind her ear.
"You can." She said quietly. "Keep seeing me, I mean. We do have conflicting schedules, though. Considering you're only out at night and I spend my nights hunting down murderous beings from other dimensions."
Declan smiled down at her. He had inches on her. He had to be at least six feet and three inches. Taller than Jace and Alec. "I'm sure we can figure something out. Now, I'd best get you home before Magnus spikes my next tea with holy water instead of blood."
City of Ashes
Her body hurt. Everything ached. There were parts of her body that ached that she hadn't been aware could ache.
They'd all taken a rough beating that afternoon. Alec, leaned against the elevator of the Institute, looked particularly rough. It hadn't been too long since he put away his crutches. There was a nasty gash down his cheek. His clothes, like all of theirs, were covered in thick, dried mud.
Jace looked pained. He'd fallen three stories and landed on a pile of metal. She saw him glance at her, his expression hard.
They were barely on speaking terms. He was still upset with her. They were cordial when in the presence of others and they still worked well together on hunts. But she knew she wasn't forgiven for the words she had used against him that night in her room.
"You're still mad." Jace observed lightly, glancing at Alec.
"Not mad." Alec mused. Eliza snorted at the look on his face. He was glaring.
Jace flailed his arm, quickly squeaking in pain. "You're mad!" Jace accused him.
Eliza pushed off the elevator wall next to Alec. "You did say that dragon demons were extinct." She pointed out. "And then we got our asses handed to us by one."
Jace rolled his eyes dramatically. "For the record, I said mostly extinct." He told her. "That should go on the record."
Alec groaned. "Mostly extinct is not close enough, Jace!" Oh, yes, he was angry.
Jace scoffed at him. "I'll just give the Silent Brothers a call and have them change all the passages referring to the dragon demons." He told Alec. "Tell them that mostly extinct doesn't count in Alec Lightwood's book and the passages must be changed at once."
Isabelle laughed lightly, shaking her head. Eliza had almost forgotten she was with them. Izzy had been inspecting herself in the mirrored wall of the elevator quietly. "Boys, calm down." She said. "What matters is that we had fun. So, we got a little more than we bargained for. But we had fun, right?" Izzy was smiling brightly at them. How she managed to get out without even a speck of mud on her, baffled Eliza. "Liz, you had fun, didn't you?"
The memory of slicing through the demon burned in her memory. That had been fun. The being tossed around like a ragdoll had not been fun. "Iz, did you miss the part of the evening where we got our asses handed to us?"
Izzy smiled sheepishly. "No." She said slowly. "I'm choosing to ignore that." Her nose crinkled up with distaste. "You guys smell like demon and trash. You should really shower once we get inside."
Eliza rolled her eyes just as the elevator screeched to a halt. Izzy pulled the door open and stepped out.
Eliza knew that the demon wasn't the only reason Alec was mad at Jace. He was mad about the hunt. It had been Jace's idea. Alec and Isabelle weren't exactly comfortable with the idea of going on demon hunts without a proper supervisor. They'd always had Hodge and now they had no one.
But Jace had wanted to go. And they would do anything for him.
Eliza had simply gone to get out of the Institute. She had needed out before she went crazy. Magnus was constantly busy, and Declan couldn't be out during the daylight.
When Jace had offered her a place to go, she had immediately said yes.
Hunts were the time they could be normal with each other. They almost worked well enough together to have been parabatai.
She watched Jace toss his jacket on the coat stand. Alec was sitting on the bench, carefully taking off his boots, trying to limit how much mud he got on the floor. Eliza leaned against the wall next to Alec and started to unlace her boots.
"I'm starved." Isabelle shook out her hair. "If Mom were here, she'd be making us dinner right now."
"While shouting about getting mud on the rugs." Jace said as he took off his belt.
Eliza kicked off her boots. "Well, you aren't wrong." A new voice said. Her head kicked up.
A woman stood in the doorway. She was dressed in an expensive black suit, her dark hair pinned back in a thick ropy braid. She had the same cool blue eyes as Alec. Eliza immediately recognized her as Maryse Lightwood.
Her eyes swept over the four teenagers, an unpleasant expression on her face. "Mom!" Izzy darted straight for Maryse and embraced her tightly. Alec stood and walked over to his mother and sister. Eliza noticed that he was putting more pressure on his injured leg than usual.
She looked over at Jace, waiting for him to join the Lightwood family embrace. He was, after all, an adopted Lightwood. But he stood in his place. He glanced at her, his mouth tight.
"Mom, where are Dad and Max?" Izzy asked.
The room was tense. Eliza got the feeling this wasn't the usual Lightwood family reunion. She didn't know Maryse Lightwood, but she automatically didn't like the expression on her face.
"Your father is in Alicante, tending to some important things. And Max is upstairs in his room, resting." Eliza knew that meant that Max wasn't supposed to be bothered. Her word was final. Maryse looked over Alec, her mouth turning down. "Alexander, are you limping?"
Alec's mouth worked, trying to form words he couldn't get out of his mouth. Izzy drifted to her brother, putting her arm around his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Mom. We ran into a Draconidae demon inside the subway tunnels." Izzy's words flowed smoothly. She was a much better liar than her older brother.
"Right. So, your limp has nothing at all to do with the Greater Demon you dealt with last week?"
The entire room went silent. Izzy and Eliza both turned to Jace. Alec wasn't about to try and lie to his mother and Eliza knew better than to try and speak before Maryse had even acknowledged her. She had the feeling she was in deep trouble with the Lightwood matriarch. She just wasn't sure why.
"A mistake." Jace said uneasily. "But-."
His next words were cut off by a child shouting his name. The boy darted past Maryse as she tried to grab at him. "I knew I heard the elevator! I'm so glad you guys are back!"
So, this is Max Lightwood, Eliza thought. He looked more like a seven-year-old than a ten-year-old. He was the only Lightwood child that wore glasses.
"And I know I told you to stay in your room." Maryse told him.
Max's face passed with a serious gravity. He shrugged. "Yeah, I don't remember that." His words made his brother crack a small smile. Max turned, looking at Jace with that familiar idolizing awe on his face. Alec ran his hands through Max's hair. "You guys fought a Greater Demon? That sounds so cool!" Max bounced.
Jace avoided the question, in a way only Jace could. "You were in Alicante. I bet that was a lot cooler."
Max rattled off about all the cool stuff he got to see in Alicante. The Armory, weapons forges. He told them how he learned about a new way to make seraph blades, so they last longer, and he wanted Hodge to teach him to do it.
Eliza frowned. His parents hadn't told him about Hodge? She let herself steal a glance at Maryse. She was startled to see that Maryse was already looking at her, distaste evident on her face.
"Isabelle, Alexander, take Max to his room." That wasn't a suggestion; it was an order. "Jace and…Eliza, meet me in the library once you've cleaned up."
Jace shifted. "Is this about our father?" Maryse stared back at him.
Alec cleared his throat. "Mom, it isn't their fault. We all had a part in what happened." He said.
Izzy agreed with him. "You can't punish them without punishing us too. We all did the same thing, Mother."
Maryse's mouth parted, but before she could say anything, Eliza finally spoke. "Abbadon isn't the problem." Eliza said, staring at Maryse. "It's Valentine. So, you and Alec don't have anything to do with this."
Maryse's mouth settled into a thin line. "The library."
Her hair was damp, thick wet tendrils clinging to her face. She swatted them away and quickly combed through her hair. She half-regretted cutting off her hair. On the one hand, it was more practical to keep it short. Enemies didn't have anything to grab a hold of. And she looked less like her old self. On the other, it was so short. She missed being able to braid it.
She used her stele to fix up most of the cosmetic damage on her body. The bruises faded into her skin, but she still felt the aches of being thrown into walls and slammed on the ground.
She dressed herself quickly in jeans and a thin light grey sweater. There was a soft knock on her door. Jace walked in, hair half-wet and hanging in his face. He was wearing just a white shirt and jeans.
They hadn't been alone together in days, both too fired up and upset. She truly didn't think they'd ever go back to normal. Not after everything that had happened. Not after all the lies he thought were truths.
"Thought we could walk together." His voice was just as flat as it had been the past few days.
She nodded, joining him in the hall and shutting her door. "On a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst, how bad do you think this is going to be?" She could only imagine how thick Maryse's anger was going to be.
"Probably eleven. Maryse can be pretty…intense." He cracked a smile. "But, she's a good mom. The Lightwoods never even laid a hand on me. It was an adjustment after Valentine."
The air became thick. They had been trying their best to not bring him up, the unspoken monster between the two of them. Their father.
"I can imagine." She murmured. They came upon the library, Jace hesitating to knock. "Don't be nervous, big brother. She can only hurt you as much as you let her."
He looked at her, tawny eyes narrowed. "Big brother?"
She was trying. She really was trying her best to make the lie believable. Jace wasn't her big brother. She was pretty sure she was older than him. But in the new world that they lived in, Valentine's world, Jace was her big brother. He was Jonathan.
She nodded. "Just by a few minutes. Don't get cocky. I'm still better than you at practically everything." She pressed against the door and pushed it open.
Maryse Lightwood was sitting in what had been Hodge's arm chair, a large glass of red wine in her hand.
"Maryse, you wanted to see us." Jace's voice was calm and approaching.
The Lightwood matriarch jumped just a bit at the sound of his voice, the wine sloshing in the glass. She turned, her eyes boring into them. "You were quiet coming in."
Jace didn't move. There was a dynamic between them that she didn't understand and couldn't begin to. Her eyes darted between Maryse and Jace, waiting for one of them to break the ice. Jace was the first.
"You never sang to me, you know." He told her. She gave him a confused look, almost a little taken aback. "My room was right next to Alec's and the walls were thin. You sang to Alec and Izzy when we were all little. The song was in French."
She didn't know where he was going, but it probably wasn't good. "I didn't sing to you because you weren't afraid of the dark, Jonathan." Jace retorted that all ten-year-olds were scared of the dark. "Eliza, Jonathan, please sit down. Now." Her tone was every bit of demanding.
The two of them crossed the room, Jace slowly and annoyingly. They sat on the loveseat across from Maryse. "My name is Jace." He reminded her.
Her eyes narrowed. Eliza was bothered by how much she resembled Alec. "How long have you known, Jonathan? How long have you known that Valentine was your father?"
Jace took a long time to gather his response. "As long as you have, of course."
Eliza wanted to smack him. His smart-ass responses weren't going to get him anywhere, she knew that. Maryse said that she didn't believe him.
"I can assure you that Jace never knew that Valentine was his father. Not until last week. Until last week, Jace believed that his father was Michael Wayland." Eliza told Maryse. "Jace never knew anything."
Maryse trained her icy blue eyes on Eliza. Sizing her up, reading her. "I remember you from when you were a toddler. You used to play with my Alexander. The both of you did. And all these years…Jonathan, I let you in my home. Near my children. How could I not…? How did I not know who you were?"
"If it's any consolation, I didn't know either. I was told I was the son of Michael Wayland. We lived in a country house that belonged to the Wayland family."
"It's not." Maryse snapped. "You came to me with the name Jonathan. Do you know how many Shadowhunter boys are named Jonathan? Valentine and Michael both had sons named Jonathan. But I had assumed, wrongly so, that Valentine's son perished in the fire that killed his entire family. I never thought…I never began to think suspiciously of you, Jonathan. Not when you belonged to Michael Wayland. But now, you're sitting here, and I can see Valentine all over you. The way you sit, in your eyes. The plain defiance inside of you."
Jace sat straighter, his hands balled into fists. Eliza didn't quite understand. Maryse had been his mother, his guardian, for years. She had loved him and cared for him. How could all of that change within days?
Maybe she didn't understand because she didn't have parents or guardians. Not ones that had cared for her, anyways.
"I'm still me, Maryse. I'm still the same. Nothing has changed."
Everything had changed. He was just in denial.
She turned from him, her iced glare moving to the fireplace. "You had to have known, Jonathan. When we spoke of Michael, surely you couldn't have believed that to have been the same person that Valentine was. That it was the same man who was raising you."
Jace swallowed hard. "You were pretty vague about Michael Wayland. You only told me that he had loved me, that he was brave and that he was a good man. And I was a boy who loved and idolized my father. Of course, that's what I thought."
Eliza leaned her head back on the loveseat, sighing heavily. "And the photographs? Michael Wayland and Valentine Morgenstern are not the same person, as we've discovered.
Eliza was growing tired of the accusations and she knew Jace was too. "You told me that they were destroyed in the Uprising. I wonder if he did it on purpose." He bemused bitterly.
Eliza leaned back up, licking her lips slowly. She cleared her throat, calling their attention to herself. "This is quickly becoming boring, I'm afraid to tell you." Jace closed his eyes. Maryse narrowed hers. "And he did, by the way. Destroy everything on purpose. He told me."
"Excuse me?" Maryse hissed.
Eliza sat straight, crossing her legs. "Jace may have been raised by Michael Wayland but I was raised by Valentine Morgenstern. I can tell you honestly and freely that Jace has been completely ignorant about everything for his entire life. Meanwhile, I have not. I was raised outside of Alicante by Valentine. I was tortured and I was punished from the time I could use my stele and steady a sword in my hand. I knew everything. He destroyed all of his evidence from the Circle after the Uprising, before he 'died' and moved us. I knew about Jace and I knew where he was. Jace knew absolutely nothing other than he was Michael Wayland's son. If you want innocence, you'll find it in Jace. If you want someone to blame, look to me."
Maryse looked shocked at her behavior. She clearly wasn't used to being spoken to in that tone. "I don't trust either of you." She finally said. "I cannot afford to trust anyone who has been touched by his influence."
"You followed him." Jace's voice was cold and harsh. Eliza looked at him, mouth half-open with shock. She couldn't believe he'd said it. And from the look on his face, he couldn't believe it either.
"And I'm still paying for it. I pay for it every day." Maryse snapped. She had a dark look on her face. "Just tell me that you hate him. Tell me that you cannot stand him, and you despise everything about him."
Eliza clamped her mouth shut. She knew her response wasn't needed. Maryse would never trust her, not her who had grown up under Valentine's eyes, not her who had been groomed and trained by him.
She wanted Jace's response. She wanted Jace to scream that he hated Valentine, that he could kill him. And Eliza and Maryse both knew that he wouldn't. That he couldn't.
His hands were clenched tightly. His knuckles a stark white that stood out against the rest of his skin. "I can't." He whispered. "I don't understand why you can't trust me. It doesn't make sense."
There was such an earnest look of pain on Maryse's face. The kind of pain that Eliza assumed only a mother could feel. Eliza supposed that if she had any respect for Maryse, a decent amount anyways, that'd she'd feel bad for her.
"I can't trust you because you sound so incredibly honest, Jonathan and the only other person I've ever met who could be so persuasive was your father."
Not his father, my father, Eliza thought. Jace was being punished for her lie. He was on the verge of losing everything he had because she told a lie. If she weren't such a coward, if she didn't go weak in the presence of her father, Jace would be spared.
"He has many means of persuasion. Lying is the easiest and the gentlest." Eliza told them. "Lying is a kindness from him. It's merciful. If he really wants to persuade you, he'll hurt you. Or threaten you. Or worse, threaten the ones you love." She sneaked a glance at Jace, who thankfully wasn't looking. His attention was turned to his hands. She looked back at Maryse. Their eyes met. "You think that you know my father because you joined his little cult group back at the Academy. You think you understand him because you were friends. You think you were betrayed by him because he lied to you. Well, let me tell you that being his daughter is much worse. He ruined me. He beat me and pretended to love me, and he ruined me. And I can only begin to imagine everything he put Jace through. But sure, Mrs. Lightwood, he lied to you. So, go ahead and take your pain out on Jace. We all understand."
Eliza exhaled deeply and rolled her shoulders. She glanced back at the window at the back of the library. The sky was turning a rosy shade of pink. Almost dusk.
Maryse's mouth worked, words trying to form that wouldn't speak. Jace's eyes were trained on his clenched hands. Eliza stood up, brushing off her jeans. "Well, this has been fun. Fortunately, I have a date this evening and it's almost dusk, so I have to go."
Jace's head snapped up, face alert. "A date?"
She sucked in a breath. She hadn't exactly told anyone about Declan. Just Magnus. She knew how Jace would react and she wasn't exactly sure she was ready for Alec and Izzy to know she was dating a vampire.
"Yes, Jace. A date. If you need me, call Magnus." She turned to Maryse, pointedly staring at her. "Who I will mention saved Alec's life last week. You can send him a hand-written thank you note. He appreciates them a lot." She strode from the library, slamming the door on her way out.