Summary: In which Five is great at braiding hair, Allison is wondering why her dates are running of with their tails between their legs, Claire loves her uncle, and Klaus is missing Ben terribly.

Chapter 1: Allison

Klaus groaned as he woke up and stretched his limbs. Ah, he missed the scent of 2019. The smell of smog and pollution in the morning was incredibly welcome. After taking a moment to stretch again and then moving to his counter to make him, and Five a cup of coffee, he realised one thing. The pot had been used, a cup was in the sink, and Five wasn't there.

"Five?" he called out.

No response. He frowned and looked at the clock. It was only 9am which was late for the old geezer, but pretty early for him. Five usually waited for Klaus though, ready with some mildly alarming and disturbing breakfast ready like pickles on waffles, or eggs with maple syrup. Klaus would politely throw it discreetly into the bin every time and just eat some toast once Five left to do whatever it was he did all day.

"Now that I think about it… what does he do all day?"

He was received with silence. It made him pause and feel his heart clench in absolute devastation. Ben wasn't there. He had been taking his brother's ghost for granted all these years. Now that Ben wasn't there to nag him at all times of the day, he felt incredibly lonely and more often than not lost on what to do with himself. Ben was the one who had his head screwed on straight. Sometimes he wondered if he was just replacing Ben with Five, to fill the void inside of him. If he was, it certainly wasn't working.

"Ah time to go find that little psycho," he mumbled, taking a swing of milk straight from the carton.

"Your children are really intense," David laughed, a little nervousness coming out from his voice.

Allison crossed her arms and sent her date a look of confusion. Children? Claire wasn't really intense. In fact she was rather sweet until it came to sleeping. She wondered if she was raising a future insomniac, but besides that and her occasional temper tantrums, Claire was a sweet child. Intense wasn't a word she associated with her.

"Are we talking about the same Claire?" Allison chuckled.

"No your daughter's sweet. It's your son… he's rather intimidating?"

Son? Then it struck Allison and she let out a breath of disbelief before kissing David on the cheek and showing him out. This was the third time! How had she not seen it? All of her dates were running away from her like she was threatening them with castration or something. The moment David turned on the car, she closed the door and stormed up stairs and opened the door to Claire's room to catch Five of all people braiding her hair.

"Five, what are you doing here?" she asked, crossing her arms in irritation.

"Braiding your daughter's hair. Can't you see?" he asked, hauntingly arrogant as usual.

"Uncle Five is really good with hair!" Claire added.

Allison took a moment to check his work… and she was right. Five was working on a dutch braid around both ends and it looked flawless. But that wasn't the point! She needed to get back on topic!

"Five how long have you been coming here for without me knowing?" she asked a little impatiently.

"Uncle Five comes to do my hair every now and then when you're playing with those boring men," Claire said defensively.

What?

"Claire honey, I need a moment with your uncle."

"But mommy—"

"Now," she insisted.

"Just let me tie this up and I'll be right with you," Five said before he took a long minute to tie a pink bow up the back, meticulously before patting Claire on the head like he would a dog and leaving.

Allison would have been smiling fondly at this display of genuine family love if it wasn't for the fact that Five was sneaking into her house without her knowledge. She took a moment to compose herself, reminding herself that he was stuck in a wasteland with no human contact for 45 years and would therefore be a little less understanding of normal human courtesy.

"Five, you know I appreciate what you're doing with Claire, but I don't think you should come into my house unannounced," she said chidingly.

"Claire doesn't mind," he said rolling his eyes.

"That's not—anyway why can't you just open the door and come in like a normal person?"

"Well I heard from Klaus that it's rude to interrupt dates," Five replied, looking increasingly irritated. "Why does this require a lecture?"

"Because—wait a minute, what is this about dates? Why do you only come around when I'm having a date?" Allison asked indignantly.

"Because if you haven't noticed, you and the rest of this dysfunctional family have the combined IQ of a Neanderthal on crack!"

Allison made a sound of indignation but Five continued on, his jaw locking together.

"The last time Diego had a girlfriend, she double crossed him for the commission. Klaus fell in love with someone who died, and god knows how many STD's the man has from his other flings. You were in a failing relationship and then committed to someone out of your own timeline. And Vanya dated a murderous psychopath that caused the end of the world. So sue me, if I have to be the sane one in this family and vet all of your choices!"

Allison didn't have words. The gall of her brother. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out and all she could think of was a biting insult.

"Goddammit Five! This isn't any of your business, and even if it was, I would tell you to stop this unhealthy obsession of yours with the Apocalypse. It's been 9 months! It's over! You need to let it go!"

"I have. This is unrelated—"

"Unrelated my ass," she snarled. "Also even if it was related, you have no right scaring off my dates. This is my personal life. You have no right to involve yourself into this. I'm an adult who can make my own decisions."

"Which I would understand if you weren't my siblings," he said a little condescendingly.

What was that even supposed to mean? Allison was about to bite back a reply of how he wasn't really any better than them when the door opened, and Claire walked out with tears in her eyes. Both her and Five paused in their tracks, and silence ensued as the child sniffled.

"Are you fighting again?" Claire asked.

"No sweetie, come here," Allison cooed gently as she picked up her girl.

"I don't want you to keep fighting all the time," Claire whispered.

"Great now you've made her cry," Five snorted.

Allison sent her brother a warning glare, and he wisely shut up. Despite being the oldest of the bunch, Five really had a way of acting immature at times. Maybe it was the lack of social skills, his closed off-ness, and his penchant for trying to get the last word in. Currently Allison didn't care about his age. She knew where he was coming from. How could she not? Despite being a prickly bastard, Five was obsessed with keeping his siblings safe. Without the Apocalypse this was all he had.

"We'll stop fighting ok. Uncle Five will be leaving now, and the next time he comes in will be through the front door," she said with emphasis and a pointed look.

Five sighed but otherwise nodded. "Fine," he bit out, "but Dolores wants me to keep up my skills. I will need Claire's fine hair for practice."

Allison couldn't help but smile fondly at that. "Sure. Next time, I'll join. Never knew you were so good with hair."

Five smirked, which was the closest he got to ever looking entirely happy. Allison took it. A little bit of communication was all this family really needed. Who knew that was the best way to stop the end of the world, huh.