I'd just like to thank my amazing betas, newmrsdewinter and ellisama, for their input and all their corrections, and especially for putting up with the trash entity known as the Chapter where Things Get Even Sleazier - it's too bad that Awakening didn't really flesh out Validar beyond "he leads a cult," so their help with defining his nasty persona was invaluable. Also: the mandatory "I'm Sorry Robin" while she's stuck in Plegia...for the moment.
No sooner had Validar's bewilderment barely dissipated did his lips open to speak. "...I do not understand."
I had forgotten how much of a simpleton you are. The voices briefly melded into a single Presence, united in their distaste. Shall I fetch some paper to spell it out for you?
"Forgive me. I am but a mortal fool. I have spoken out of turn," Validar reassured hastily.
Grima's clay mask seemed to blink red at him. It is only natural for a creature as puny as you. Especially with how desperate a state you seem to be in.
"That is my unfortunate point. I am not lacking for want of a suitors' list...but so far all of those who came forth are nothing short of a parade of washouts. Arrogant, spineless, dim-witted, reckless, weak...have I, as their archpriest, failed so terribly when it seems I have produced a flock whose male half is plagued by incompetence? Is it merely the reality of the shortcomings and ugliness of our race?"
All of them so far have proved to be dissolute, licentious churls, yes, they agreed. And that is why there is only one logical choice for the position.
"Who? I would gladly abase myself at his feet, for I am nearly at my wit's end. Why would such a man hide himself from us, from a task entrusted to us by Grima Himself? Does he not harbour any love for his Lord and Master?"
You are very stupid, their collective irritation bounced around in his head and hurt his inflamed brain with their racket, to have to be explained to when it is YOU that I speak of.
Shock was not even close to half of what Validar felt. In his silence, the voices buzzed expectantly in his head, faint yet alert. Had the temple always been so cold and large? Since when had that stain dirtied the corner of his robes? He would scold his chamberlain for it later.
The news seems to displease you, the voices observed with great relish.
How could it not? Validar confessed with great alarm and distress. What you ask of me goes beyond any capital sin.
What I ask of you is for Grima's sake.
"Tis a man's shame to humiliate himself in such a manner, and the basest of creatures shall scorn his flesh. The father's inheritance shall be rendered unto his next or forswear his right as patriarch." Validar recited the passage from memory, in the chapter of Grima's Truth that discussed unforgivable crimes, sins, and the appropriate penance and punishments for each. He remembered, on his tour of Plegia with his own father when he was younger than his daughter, witnessing a man's execution in a dusty village square for such a transgression. The desperate herdsman had lost his wife, two sons, and half his goats to tainted well water. In the throes of his grief and extreme poverty, he had attempted to wed his eldest daughter in the hopes of extracting a dowry from his mother-in-law's family; instead, the terrified girl had fled to the headman's home for refuge, and her father's headless body had been burnt the next day.
What have I said of your books? Your overreliance on them blinds you to the greater issue.
"Grima's Truth is a pillar of our faith and a cornerstone of our way of life - it guides us and speaks to us the words of our Lord as recorded by the Table's sages and sorcerers. You were correct about the vessel's truth, undoubtedly so, but to require such an abominable action on my part would mean to commit blasphemy and heresy. I am the archpriest!"
A bloody fool is all you will ever amount to if this keeps up! the Presence roared. The ceiling shook and showered him in dust from the force of its anger. A sudden billow of incense-purple smoke clouded him, and curled menacingly around his wrists and neck, threatening him with the scent of a dragon's breath. It smelled of burnt stone and rust and sulfur and fire, an ancient and terrible essence that cowed him into muteness. Satisfied that it would be challenged no further, the smoke seemed to stroke his skin in satisfaction, and Validar's vision swam.
Think about it, their whispers were misty soft and sent shivers crawling down his back. You are the only man of your stature amongst your entire flock. A pedigree of your calibre -stretching back to the very first days of the Grimleal- is unmatched by any. Your knowledge of scripture...your skill in the arts of magicks and the sword...unparalleled. Such a pity that you are but a mere mortal, for your noblesse and devotion to Grima are not only the perfect vehicle for your Lord's return, but are rare qualities to find within humanity's putrescence.
Validar thought back to the incident with the bird. How the child had cried...she said she had picked a name for it already. Micaiah. "But...she is my daughter."
All the more reason to do so, the voices had taken on an urgent, furtive strength, and they leaned in close and spoke in his ear as though they were confiding a critical secret to him. Can you imagine...your prized possession...in the hands of those who would sully her. You have seen it yourself: most have no love for her, at least, not like you do. They are craven, wicked beasts, and they will not treat her gently. No...they will paw at her incessantly...they will mount her like the filthy dogs they are until she is too battered and bruised to protest...the children she might bear from their sick blood will be too deficient and malformed to even qualify as Grima, much less human. Those little parasites will suck at her breasts until she is exhausted and spent, and the unworthy man she would be shackled to will tire of her and turn his evil roaming eye to whichever willing harlot would be desirous of the vessel's husband. Is it not your duty as a father to protect what is yours?
I will not allow such a thing to pass. Red-hot anger coursed through Validar's veins and clenched his hands shut over his robes. The Presence delighted in how persuasive it was, and its voices goaded him further.
To think that your entire council has nominated themselves for her. They derived a malicious pleasure from seeing how effectively they were able to get through to him. Their smoky vapours caressed his bearded chin and pulled him close, as though they were confidants. How disgusting! You should think of cleaning house. They will not permit her happiness and will only use her to depose you and take away your strength if any of them were to be selected. Men like them are the reason why the balance of power must not change within your lifetime. Suddenly, their pitch dropped; from ethereal to almost demonic. Do you remember how Nelson had his eye on your dearest Shahin? How little jealous Ardri sulked throughout your nuptials?
The Presence smiled and prodded and stoked his slow-burning ire. Validar burned at the memory of henna staining their hands. How sweet the taste of the wine they drank was, though not nearly as much as the winning smiles she had for him. How fake the well-wishing of his councilmen had sounded, how dare they, how dare they…
Remember the days when Shahin was beautiful and yours, they breathed into his ear. Your daughter is still yours, and you can keep it that way...you will not have to give her up to anyone...you should not. You are the only one more than worthy of her...you alone deserve her. United as hierophant and archpriest, as husband and wife...Grima's return to this world is more than assured.
Validar sat, listening and taking it all in through the smoky haze of incense wrapped around him. Yes, it spoke truthful words, it spoke words of logic and fact...and yet…
"What is required of us is not what should happen between a father and his daughter. It is unnatural," he said quietly.
It is of no concern, they waved away his thoughts easily. Sacrifices and exceptions must be made for Grima's good. She is of age. Your seed is potent...she was a product of it, she possesses the Heart of Grima...imagine what you could birth from it. Its is only natural to enjoy her beauty, so much like her mother...it is your right. And besides, it continued with perverse enjoyment, what better person to initiate a daughter into the realities of womanhood than a parent?
When Validar left the temple once more, he noticed, idly, that his beard had grown longer. He would need a trim and a new set of robes soon. The thought reminded him of the soft curve of Robin's neck and bare shoulders when she had returned to him. Her dress had fitted her well.
Curiously enough, Robin was also to be found in the training arena when he found her again. She had been scheduled that day to help teach the apprentices in defense with magic. She was sparring with one of their teachers, and despite the significant age gap between them, she seemed to fare much better. The children oohed and ahhed with undisguised admiration as flickering sparks jumped off between the hands of the tomeless fighters; the elderly master had years of experience backing his wielding of magic, and yet the slight grimace and sweaty sheen on his bald head was enough to demonstrate Robin's superior skill as she absorbed the bolts of lightning with ease. Her palms glowed slightly from where they had made contact with the electrical force, and they flashed with light as she brought them together to release a booming thunderclap.
The acolytes cheered as their teacher was brought to his knees, defeated. Robin helped him to his feet and they bowed to each other. The other master supervising the proceedings thanked the combatants, and directed the youngsters to do the same and pay the proper respects. "Glory be to Grima!" they shouted with their little childish voices as they filed out of the arena obediently in pairs.
Robin had known of Validar's presence from the moment the hairs on her neck began to prickle hotly at her skin. She had a dream the night prior - of the same snake and songbird, though the beast did not devour it; rather, it grew to a tremendous size, and wove itself into the shape of basket, blocking out the light and keeping the bird trapped. It bore ill tidings, and she wondered what message could he have to bring this time. But there was no smile upon his thin face, no eager spring in his step. Her sense of dread intensified.
"My liege," she bowed stiffly at the waist. She still found the new word to be chafing and strange on her lips.
"At ease," he said dismissively.
"What news?" she asked dully.
"It concerns your wedding."
The silence was uncomfortably cramped and awkward. Robin wondered what sort of issue was so pressing that it required a private audience between them, even though he had not summoned her to his study.
"So far," he began, the very words seeming to leave a sour taste on his tongue, "the suitor's list has more than an adequate number of candidates. The inadequacy, however, lies within the men themselves. Weak, astoundingly entitled, lacking self control, hardly any with a family standing to boast of...perhaps the ease for which your mother was chosen for me has rendered me ignorant of the difficulties behind such a process. My heart was not strong enough to be selected...so naturally, the standards for your betrothal must be set to a higher bar."
"What could this possibly mean?" She was grasping at straws by then, but it was better than nothing. Could it be that he meant to expand the search outside the Grimleal, that she might be taken from this place? That - gods willing! - the whole thing would be called off? How she yearned...
Validar thumbed the gold thread of his cuffs almost regretfully, a resigned and entirely uncharacteristic gesture of him. What could be troubling him so? Perhaps it could be to her gain. He sighed, raised his eyes as though pleading with the heavens themselves, and met her own. Something...hardened in them.
"It means...that I must take drastic measures if we are to ensure our Master's revival. Believe me when I say I do this for the greater good."
Don't shake, Robin.
"I shall take this burden upon me...I shall assume the mantle of your husband."
A strange pressure she could not quite place built up in her throat, her ears, her nose, her eyes. As though her mouth had been wired shut by shock, the statement had rendered her mute.
Had she heard correctly? She knew that this contract would never have been for love, she knew that it was merely another weight added to her chain, that it was part and parcel of her life trapped underneath the earth. But -this? To not only be married off against her will...but to her own father? What sort of terrible deed had she possibly committed in some astral plane or former life to accrue such a punishment?
Her only answer was the silence of the sand and the pillars caging her in.
She would not allow it...she could not allow it…
"I-I don't understand," Robin wobbled and faltered through her words. Oh, how pathetic she sounded with her little squeak of a voice. "Are you serious?"
"Had I not been, would I have sought you out?" Validar countered brusquely. A sigh had him bent over as though releasing a load of ballast, and he brought his long fingers to knead his forehead. "Forgive me. I understand how this must sound to your ears...but do not think I have not taken this decision lightly. It is one that has been made after careful consideration and deliberation-"
"Only on your part, I imagine. I can't think the council would condone this- I can't imagine how any of this would even be supported when it goes against so much that I've been taught, that you preached to us-"
"Our current circumstances call for emergency measures. It is for Grima's sake that this must be done...for I am the only one who is worthy of you and your title."
"Are you now?" Robin knew she was pushing him with her outburst, and words still flew out anyways. She was too alarmed and afraid to stay quiet.
"I am," Validar ground out. His fingers unfurled testily, flexing around the thick rings shielding them. "All of those who have volunteered themselves are completely beneath you, they are vain and selfish creatures who would want nothing more than to use you as a way to bargain against me and undermine Grima's will. They have no outstanding skills or anything else to boast of, nothing that even hints of their use for our Lord." He inhaled deeply. "...Are you calling my judgement into question?"
"I am," Robin said. "It seems too convenient for you-you marry me and get to keep your station and all the power that comes with it-passing judgement against a sin and then allowing it for yourself. That doesn't seem devout at all, that seems selfish."
"I will not tolerate insolence in my own abode, not as long as I hold power here. This is not a decision that was taken lightly, it was one that was took days of prayer and fasting...our great Lord sent me a sign...it is one that I accept with total faith in Him and His Plan. And you would do wise to act accordingly, as fate is not something you could ever hope to change."
She clutched his clothes pleadingly and allowed herself the humiliation of kneeling before him. "Father-"
Her cheek felt tender and stung from the slap. Surprise rendered her unable to act before she could bring her trembling hand up to touch her skin. Her ears buzzed.
Validar sank to Robin's level and cradled her face tenderly; she wondered, vaguely, why his rings didn't cut her as she averted her eyes to his sumptuous clothing. It glittered marvelously as it gathered around his legs in a pool of crushed velvet and gold.
"Forgive me," he spoke softly, thumbing her abused cheek lightly in such a manner that made his earlier violence feel all the stranger to recall. But he did not sound sorry at all. "I acted out of brashness...it was cruel of me to do so." He pulled Robin up by her hands, and her body followed with all the compliance of a mare led by a rope; tame, quiet, obedient. "This is not of my own doing...Grima's will demands it. I act only out of love for Him...it is only natural that your heartfelt faithfulness would compel you to defend our beliefs, and I commend you for it...but me must be able to discard what is unneeded and make sacrifices in His name. It is for the greater good." Validar smoothed her hair back.
He sighed at Robin's carefully blank face. He took her hands up again and stroked the backs with his jewelled thumbs. "I am no brute. And so I beg your forgiveness for such uncouthness. But you live under my say now...and you must learn to control yourself if you are ever to serve our flock attentively. You are as mortal as I am...and thus your fate, and your duty to Grima, cannot be altered from its given path." Validar took his leave with his long hem whispering as it brushed against the sand of the arena floor. Robin could only stare after him and the receding line of his embroidered sleeves. "I shall inform the council of this. Dinner is at the usual hour."
With him gone, the air felt even staler than usual -the silence she breathed in was dusty and heavy. There was no pain now, at least, not with her face.
And so she stood, alone, bewildered, and mute, for an amount time she could not determine. It was too much to take in all at once, and just when she felt there could be a thread of reason to the events, it always slipped away, and left her confused and scared and paralysed.
Robin did not believe in reincarnation...even so, what other explanation could there be for this, if not punishment for a truly heinous crime?
"Robby."
With a start, she was alerted to Henry's presence as he shook her elbow insistently. She was unaware of how long he had been there -or how much he had witnessed- but, judging from the fright on his face, it had been enough.
"He didn't cut you, did he?" Henry's bony fingers skimmed her cheek uncertainly. "I'll kill him if he did."
And risk losing him? No, Robin would never allow that. She had to suck in her shaky breaths and put on a brave face, at least for his sake. She could take care of herself better than him. She needed to keep him safe - keep him protected and far, far away from Validar. She owed him that, at least, for bringing him here and compromising him in the first place.
"I'm fine." Robin hugged him reassuringly.
"No you're not. Robin, I saw-"
"What you see or didn't see isn't important now," she stressed.
"Robby," Henry said again, more urgently. "Yes it is. What - what are you gonna do now? You're not safe here anymore."
Was she ever, though? But she could not afford to dwell on regretful thoughts of her past, not with the situation at hand. She needed to be brave for the both of them. Dilly-dallying and talking of what...happened would only mean time lost. Lost for what, Robin was still unsure of. She needed to think of something, and quick, in spite of her brain feeling as though it was swimming through molten lead.
Robin took his hand and pulled them to the exit; her legs fought her every step of the way and trembled as though they were water. "W-we're wasting time here," she stuttered. "We need to find the letter again. Maybe it can help us."
It always delighted Validar to remind his councilmen that they answered to him, and not to base their hopes on some silly notion that they would somehow rise above their given rank as his successors. Their arrogance always needed to be dispelled with the reality that they were fated for one task -and Grima had chosen him and his line alone to lead them.
The chamber traditionally allocated for their meetings was as dark as ever, lit only by the large fire that blazed furiously in the centre, and it cast long dancing shadows over the faces of the men. The inner circle all sat on lavish aging cushions while Validar reclined on a sturdier legless chair. There was satisfaction to be felt in their silence; the reassertion of his power over them, the indication that he was the final word, was a vindication of any lingering doubts he might have had over his announcement.
Their silence was mostly due to the shock, yes, though Validar could not help but feel that delicious twinge of satisfaction upon being able to catch some men sulking or even showing their displeasure openly. Jamil in particular looked personally offended, and Ardri looked as though he was sitting on a bed of horned lizards, and failing to conceal his revulsion.
"If I may, my liege," Chalard ventured cautiously. "What you say could be interpreted as an endorsement of incest. Have the sages been informed of this?"
"At ease, Chalard," Validar acknowledged with a tilt of his gilded head. "They know, and have given their full blessing...this is not a matter of personal want, but rather, for Grima's sake. Naturally, I recognise the fears there could be behind this...rest assured, they will not come to pass."
"And how can we be certain that this will not spur some of the lesser men of this flock to the dissolution of our values and a push to sinful actions? Some debase acolyte could cite your actions. We know that you are the most devoted to our well-being and Grima's interests, but this is a dangerous precedent to set." Nelson's words were polite enough, but the fire in his eyes was unmistakable.
Validar narrowed his eyes and curled his lips in an indulgent smile. "That is why this is an exception, Nelson...this is not concerning whatever silly designs a failed priest might have over his children to satisfy his lust...no, this is Grima's Will. Despite our respect for our traditions, sometimes change is needed if we are to survive and avoid stagnation." He spread his arms out and threw his head back, almost euphoric. "For the vessel was born of my seed, and as His humble servant, I have been chosen as His Awakener."
Ardri indicated his desire to speak. "That may be, my lord, though I must question the provenance of the visions you say told you of this revelation...n-not that they themselves are invalid," he tried to explain hastily.
"The result of days of prayer, fasting, and meditation, as is expected of men of our calibre," Validar replied with a smooth grin.
"Ah - yes," Ardri gulped at his mistake and began to grovel immediately. "Before any congratulations are in order, I must inquire as to the logistics of the wedding! Surely an occasion as momentous as this would mean summoning most of the congregation once more — the amount of mouths to feed is concerning."
Validar was pleased at the show of deference. "Well...if we could do it for the vessel's birth, I imagine it won't be too difficult again."
And so the meeting continued into a discussion of logistics and adulation, fretting over squeezing thousands of faithful members into the sanctum for the occasion, praising Validar for his consideration of Grima, inquiring after Robin's reaction and the possible dress code for the event. Mindless drivel, really, but it occupied Validar all the same. It was rather gratifying — and a bit of a relief — that he did not have to twist any arms tonight to pass his measure.
They were halfway to adjourning after a lengthy debate on appropriate wedding gifts. There were musings of food, and they agreed that a few more topics were to be tabled before going on to sup. Beyond the stone doorway that cloistered them, however, hints of a loud scuffle were heard. Noam suddenly burst into the meeting chambers, waving his stick about and spitting with such a fury as though a desert cat had possessed the tiny old man, with generals Mustafa and Kazem trailing almost helplessly behind him.
"We tried to stop him — " Kazem explained.
"Scoundrels! Knaves! Ill-bred levereters!" Noam threw off the hands that tried to hold him back and shuffled as best as a man of his age could to the fire.
"This is a private gathering — " Chalard snarled.
"Do my ears deceive me? Are the evil murmurings that have passed through these walls words of truth? That this man," Noam jabbed his walking stick in Validar's direction, "this villainous fiend means to take his daughter for himself? His own daughter!"
Jamil flicked the case of the knife strapped to his hip open. Validar, serene of face, stopped him with a raised hand.
"How could you, you learned men, you warriors, who take pride in the supposed morals we are to keep, allow this? Is this not the height of hypocrisy?" Noam railed.
Chalard breathed in angrily. "This is of no consequence to a mere physician."
"It is when it concerns my former charge. Do not insult my intelligence by playing along with this farce, Chalard. How is such a heinous act to be condoned?"
"It is to be done in Grima's interests, it is of Grima's will —"
"No! The only interests I see served are of a selfish man unwilling to part with his throne and who thinks himself above the law; a fraud who was unwilling to accept new books out of fear of heresy but who now crosses out the words when it suits him! The very gods themselves are being disgraced for the sake of one man." The assembly bristled at those words, as Grima was regarded above all. "Have you no love for your own child? This will ruin her further than anything else...Shahin was right to raise arms against you if this is what the Grimleal have become-"
There was a great hue and cry as Validar's finger shot forward, ropy and black like a terrible tree root, straight into Noam's head, impaling him on the wall. A thick tarry substance began to pour out of his orifices as Validar looked on impassively. Before the old man succumbed to the wound, his trembling finger curled into an obscene gesture pointed to Validar's face.
Mustafa could tell that Robin had heard the news by the time he stepped into her room, judging by her tear-streaked face. Her maids had been dismissed for the meeting, so it was safe to take Henry out of his pocket and set him on the settee. The bulging package was produced reverently from inside his clothing and placed onto Robin's lap. He watched, with great regret, as she untied the strings holding it together slowly and shuffled the letters, maps, and notes she found by chronological order. Her mother's second letter was a little bleached and torn, but still legible.
Constant vigilance, it said, is a must. Stall for as long as you can, let only the right people know of this. Be confident in your skills; crossing the desert is a task that only the sound of mind and body can hope to accomplish. Pack your supplies early, make sure that your are in want of nothing, and keep whatever you bring in a hidden space. The little alcoves in the third floor granary worked perfectly well for me.
When I was in my seventh month with you, Robert was very insistent on picking your name, did you know? He wanted to name you after either of your grandparents, but the custom is strange to us Plegians, so we had to arrive at a compromise. He even made a list, and was very convinced that you are to be born a girl! Said paper had been enclosed along with the letter, and the writing was of a man who had become recently literate. The uneven wording spelled out: Zabua, Dayyah, Brangwen, Gwawr, Iolair. Yonah had been circled several times.
A couple of months passed. Robin was in her sitting room, reading her daily psalms as the maidservants dusted and rearranged her bed linens in the neighbouring chamber. Try as she might, it was difficult to ignore the gossip floating in.
"...absolutely disgusting," one of her former nurses muttered.
"This is for Master Grima's sake," a younger voice insisted. "She's the hierophant, she knows her duty. Why else would it be allowed?"
"Girl, you forget that some women happen to be natural-born hussies. For a man with lord Validar's fortitude to be swayed into such a sin reflects very badly on her and speaks of wiles beyond our knowledge, duty or not. It seems her new duties keep them apart more than the spoilt little thing is used to and she believes this is the best way to seek out his attention."
Speaking of the devil...Validar strode inside with only a courtesy knock to announce his arrival. The servants filed into the sitting room dutifully and, along with Robin, bowed in acknowledgement.
"At ease. I am here to discuss private issues...your presence is not needed now," he dismissed them calmly.
When they were alone again, he directed them to her couch, rearranging his frock around them fastidiously. "Are you well?"
"Yes," Robin replied dully.
He studied her suspiciously, seemingly wanting to pry further, but mercifully letting that possible thread of discussion drop. Instead, Validar took her hands in his delicately and began to stroke the backs. "It is of great personal regret that your involvement is not...more present in planning our nuptials...but it is important that you keep to your duties."
"Thank you for your consideration."
"...Of course. However...we have still not broached the subject of your dowry, or the gifts I am to offer you. My coffers are yours...you can pick whatever your heart desires."
That would be very convenient, would it not? To give others more of an excuse to exchange insinuations and accusations behind her back (she could already hear the phrase "mineworker" being tossed about. It made little sense considering how many riches she had been showered with as Grima before, and she was not lacking in decorations even now); to give this horrid spectacle a veneer of respectability over its crude workings; to attempt to bribe her out of her misery with whatever pretty baubles and trinkets were fashionable aboveground, because that was what girls her age liked, did they not? It could be worse, a little voice growled snidely. Take the necklace and the earrings and be grateful that it might not be worse.
Robin lowered her eyes demurely, knowing such a display would please him. "I would rather keep things to simpler standards, my lord," she enunciated carefully. "I would not want to drain the treasury for whatever silly request I might have in mind. Material rewards would only diminish the importance of the event and take away the focus on Grima."
Wrong answer. His clay smile looked as though it was marginally close to cracking, and his hands tightened over hers subtly.
"I insist," his cloying words froze her. "It would be rather callous of me to leave my bride destitute, would it not? And I'll not break tradition, however benign your intentions are. It is simply how things are done, and it is our duty to uphold such values. Please…" Validar's nail dug into her knuckle softly, "what would you like?"
Robin slumped forward, very close to abandoning whatever resolve she thought she could show against him. Validar was simply too much to handle all at once, and his very presence drained her.
At the very least, she could allow herself a final request.
"Mustafa tells me the moon is lovely and full tonight," she murmured, remembering his people's tales he shared under the night's dark cloak so many years ago, of how the moon was a white boar who had been chased up into the sky by hunters, and whose periodical birthings yielded stars that were really shimmering drops of milk to nourish the gods above. "Please...if I could just step outside for a moment and see it —"
"Nay, it is much too dangerous," Validar interrupted with a tone of finality. "The bastards from the Walled City have eyes and ears...do not think that I have forgotten the incident that pushed you away from our arms so long ago," he made a motion as though to trace the long, tough scar that ran down her body, and Robin shivered at the thought.
Well...she tried, didn't she? But no, she couldn't just resign herself to accepting the scraps of her future life this early, she couldn't give into his hands and the threat of the destiny he held over her just yet-
The idea was so sudden, so lightning fast, it almost knocked the wind out of her lungs. Robin was sure that what she was thinking was too outlandish, too hare-brained and desperate to possibly save her at this point.
But she had to make the leap.
"Then-" Robin started, then held back. Her plaintive sigh seemed sufficiently dramatic without overdoing it, if the change in his Validar's eyes was any indication. To her amazement and unease, he moved closer.
"What is the matter?"
"You would think me frivolous for voicing such a thing. I'd rather not, it's much too vain and trivial."
"Nonsense. I am yours to serve...tell me what you wish for."
"A sliver of moon so that I may gaze upon it forever."
"It shall be done then...in what manner shall it be presented to you?"
"A dress," was her immediate response. "One that glows like the moon and shares its wonderful looks. I could wear it for the ceremony. Wouldn't that be such a splendid sight to behold?"
"But of course," Validar agreed, satisfied that her despondent pall seemed to have lifted. Robin shook off the urge to recoil at his touch when he tucked a stray hair behind her ear and allowed his hand to linger. As he neared her door's threshold, he turned for a final address. "Only the finest tailors shall be allowed to work on it...as you deserve only the finest of cloth to touch that beautiful skin of yours."
When she was sure that he was finally gone, she wrapped herself in several blankets to ward off the chill.
Leave only when you are sure you will not be discovered easily. With all the drunken revelry there is to engage in around winter, I suggest it as a secondary option. Summer, despite the murderous heat, offers the safety of less people stationed above ground. Memorise the layout of your surroundings, learn the guards' timetables and where the supplies are kept. Non-perishables should be the last things you pack.
My mother had the most beautiful amber eyes, love. I hope they are passed onto you. Robert says his mother's are blue- what a curious fact! I've never seen blue eyes before. His are a bright green, I was so fascinated when I was allowed a closer look. And he's also very freckled, like your cousins Alona and Sirak.
A year came and went. As was typical, problems with the Walled City and the neighbouring countries of Ylisse and Regna Ferox waxed and waned. The occasional flare-ups often necessitated her work, as Validar had grown to appreciate, perhaps even become a bit dependant, on her talent for strategics. Presently, scouting parties sent by Gangrel out to the desert and to the borders to flush out suspected Grimleal bases required drafting new emergency instructions, as they were better equipped and far more aggressive than previous forces. So while Aversa was dealing with the king behind the city walls, Robin was in the library creating diagrams of pincer manoeuvres and wedges. Apparently teamwork was lacking in their outside divisions.
She was so engrossed in her work that she failed to notice the people leaving quietly until it was too late. Validar's strides were imbued with the utmost confidence and he sat down beside her gracefully.
"How goes it?" He was much too cheerful to be good.
"Slow, but sure." She showed him the diagrams. "My biggest concern is the Kashykk base. I'm unaware of what kind of personal dynamic the soldiers there have, except to know that if they refuse to work together, their deaths are inevitable."
"If only my council was half as competent as you." He stroked her hair with genuine pleasure, and revulsion sucked in her guts in response. "You have been working so hard, dearest...I think you deserve a suitable reward for your services," Validar said as he produced a thin white thornwood box from his cape. "You may open it."
Robin willed her hands to keep themselves steady as she pulled the lid off slowly. To her utter dismay, the dress she pulled out and spread across her lap was not only perfect, it shattered whatever expectations she had, and hopes of stalling the wedding died a bit inside her: the fabric was a silvery, pearly white with short capped sleeves; the heart-shaped neckline and the empire waist cinched beneath it were trimmed with small fragments of opals and pearls; larger bolts of ivory grey cloth tucked beneath the bust formed slight panniers of sorts, and below this a semi-transparent outer skirt that hung over the inner one and were cut long to trail behind her. Not only was the finished product astoundingly beautiful, Validar had kept true to his word as it glowed just like the moon itself.
He smirked to himself as he presented the rest of the package to her: accessories of chased silver, pearls, opals, and soft white slippers. "Might I hear your thoughts?"
"It's gorgeous," Robin gulped. "How- how was this even possible?"
"As I said...only the finest artisans were allowed to touch this...and, well, with the proper magic and motivation to rally them behind this project...it came through in the end."
If his words were not ominous enough, then the fact that she had lost a lifeline was sufficient to remind her that the wedding was scheduled in two month's time. To be able to fulfill what seemed an impossible request and recreate the moon almost literally on cloth...she and Henry still had to map out the kitchen floor- but how to stall?
Perhaps she could try to play his arrogance off him again. It wasn't as though he backed down from a challenge easily, and he did so love his displays of wealth. Could it be worth a try?
"I feel rather ashamed of myself," Robin whispered modestly. "To think that I could own a thing like this...I have been humbled." She forced herself to place the tips of her fingers over Validar's hand.
"Now now," was his preening response. "You are more than worthy of it...your grace and your labours have earned it. And besides…" he gestured magnanimously to the library, "I am not some spendthrift who empties his purse on mindless pursuits...as my bride, you are more than welcome to ask for more."
"Truly?" Robin hoped she sounded convincingly breathless. Her routine had worked well for her before, and she feigned a bashful pensiveness. "Please- might I not be allowed outside? One of my scouts tells me the sky is clear tonight. I miss the fresh air, he says it is so cold and pure outside that his very breath burns his lungs. He says he can see the entirety of the Celestial River from the entrance, and each star is simply dazzling."
His laugh was low and made her skin crawl. "Of course I cannot allow that. Especially not with Gangrel sending more forces out now. But fear not...you wish to see the stars, you say? I can give you more than constellations...another dress, perhaps? You would look so lovely in it...I can just imagine the looks of envy that will be cast your way." Robin kept quiet and tried to plaster a tiny, grateful smile on her face. She ducked her head in deference as Validar rose. His fingers slithered through her loose hair before he left.
The good news is that there's only few chapters left until Robin makes her move - hang in there!
I've trawled Reddit and Cracked into the wee hours of the morning for research materials on growing up in cults, and let me tell you, not only are they supremely upsetting, but the people who were able to escape from them to live better lives (and tell their stories on the internet) are some of the bravest people I've read about. That, and that there are apparently groups of "cult busters" travelling around the US in order to break up cults or extract people from them, which is one of the most badass job descriptions I've ever heard.