Father Mother had just talked to me. I'm confining myself to my room. At least until I can handle myself around Anna. Just opening the door to my new room, I heard footsteps behind me. Turning, I saw Anna, standing at the corner of the hall, confused. I didn't know what to say to her, it's clear, that I am a danger. Mother Father have said this sense I was born. Maybe not out loud but they've always viewed me as some creature than their daughter. Anna is the one who gets all the hugs and kisses. She gets the praise and joy. How could she not. She's always around smiling no matter what, that what we love about her. She's the light of our little family.
Closing the door behind me, I start to think back when I was born. All of Arendelle knows of my powers. They say it's a gift from the spirits that used to inhabit our lands. I cried as any infant would. Taking my first breathe, I touched one of my tears and it turned to solid ice. The ancient trolls that no one knew were real at this point came to my parents to explain this. Sense than, the people have loved and respected our family, like never before. It wasn't til last night we saw them again, were I met them for the first time. Instead of pleasant praise for my powers, we were warned of a dangerous old myth passed from the trolls.
"Your future is bleak! Your kingdom will splinter!
Your land shall be cursed with unending winter.
With blasts of cold will come dark art
And a ruler with a frozen heart.
Then all will perish in snow and ice.
Unless you are freed with a sword sacrifice!"
My parent's faces dropped, looking at me with what I wish now was a new expression. All my life, they've had this look of fear in their eyes, and now they didn't bother to hide it anymore. I always noticed how when we eat a slight tense would come about my father. Being his heir I would sit next to him. He hardly look at me, unless it was to ask about my schooling. However he would listen and smile when Anna rampaged about her day. She was their pride joy. I now am beginning to understand what that really means.
"Fine, they didn't ask for a daughter like me, I get it." I thought to myself. "They're tough on me because I'm the heir, I get it. They love me. At least I think they love me. Don't they love me?"
My thoughts were cut short when I heard a knock at my door. "Elsa?" Anna cried from behind the door. "Come on let's go and play! We can go sneak some cookies from the chef before dinner!"
"Go away Anna." I said annoyed. I wasn't in the mood. I could have killed her last night, how could she not remember, I thought. Mother thinks the blast to her head made the incident go blank in her head.
"Or- " I heard her say slyly, behind the door. "We can go build a snowman?"
"Go away Anna! I don't wanna build a stupid snowman!" I gasped at myself, pausing to hear what Anna will say next.
"Okay, bye-" She said, holding back tears I could tell. I breathed before I called back to apologize, "Anna wait, I-" I paused for a bit to realize she wasn't there anymore. I gingerly walked to the door, and opened it, to see an empty hallway. She was gone, probably for the best I thought to myself.
Closing the door again, I went and played with my dolls. It was a while before another knock came to my door. "Elsa, sweetie?" It was my mother. Before I could answer, she walked in. "Elsa, what did you say to Anna?" I looked up at her, her face was of concern. Looking down at the doll in my hand, I answered her. "I, I told her to go away." I said quietly. I heard her sigh, before she got down on the floor with me. "She's your sister, you shouldn't take your anger out on her. What happened last night is in the past, go play with her. Have fun." I could tell she was smiling. But I didn't smile. I didn't want to smile.
"Mother, I'm sorry for last night but I wanna be alone right now." I looked up to see her smile was now a frown. "Elsa, she said in a stern voice. you are her big sister, we almost lost her! It's not the time to be selfish." I was stunned. I didn't know what to say. She sighed and made her way to the door. "Dinner, will be ready soon." That's all she said.
Coming down for dinner, sitting next to my father, I must have caught him off guard or something, because once my chair was moved for me to take my seat, I didn't have to try to see my father's body stiffen. Anna of course was oblivious, already trying to sneak in some bites as her Nanny is telling her to wait. Mother is sitting across from me. As always she looks down, unless it's to talk to father, or Anna, or even to address some of the servants. I've grown accustomed to this. Anna eats talks with her mouth open, while her nanny tries to get her to use manners, while Mother regally eats listens to father if he decides he wants to talk. Mostly, they ask Anna one thing while she carries the conversation for everyone. She's their little princess, and I'm their little prince. Unneeded unless it's for my grooming.
The summer goes on to fall. Anna is still trying to get me to play, I haven't gone out of my room unless it's for school, riding, walking. When out in public, the towns folk have me show some of my magic, even though it concerns my parents. They've made it so, that I should only use my magic for special occasions.
I've tried experimenting my magic with my math and science teacher. She adores my capability. Says it's a good thing I enjoy math and science, otherwise I'd have a heck of a time using my skills. I love her, her name is Lady Grimmett. She's a nobleman's daughter, but only wants to learn and experience the world around her.
We were in one of our lessons as winter started peering it's head. We took a break and let me experiment with my magic to figure angle and cemetery. I'm only eight, but I've already succeeded in passing my age level. When my Father came bursting into our session. "Just what do you think Your doing?" He demanded. We were stunned at first, than Lady Grimmett started to explain, when my father cut her short. "You will do no such thing. She's only allowed on special occasions. If this happens again you will be replaced", he warned.
I couldn't believe it. This was a gift from the spirits, why can't I use it to learn control, doesn't he want me to learn to control, so I won't hurt anyone again? I was too busy being lost in thought when I finally noticed Lady Grimmett near tears.
"Lady Grimmett?" I asked. She looked at me than pushed away her tears. She only mumbled once "Shows what he knows." There was a sort of bitterness to her tone. Was my father really afraid of my powers?
Christmas had just passed, and I came in for another round of lessons when I was met with some boring old lady with books and pencils, no Lady Grimmett in sight. The old lady fifty something, was plump, with nothing better to do than to scowl. "I'll be your tutor until another one can be found." She explained than starting our lesson, before I could say anything.
Coming to my room, I slammed the door behind me. How could my father get rid of my teacher?! She was a great teacher! Than a knock came to my door.
"Elsa? Come on let's go and play!" Anna's voice rang. I had played with her a couple times before sense the incident. However when I did come and play, we were always watched by her nanny and someone else. A servant, a guard, or even another lady in waiting. What were they so afraid of? I turned to Anna who was holding her doll, again unaware of the sudden change.
"Anna, why is your nanny here?" I asked. She looked at me than to her Nanny, than back at me. Her blue eyes no indifference. "I don't know." I knew than it wasn't for her, it was for me. Now that we couldn't play with my magic, they were making sure of it.
Again, a knock came to my door, I had been reading one of my assigned chapters, when Anna once again came to play. Except she said something I wasn't expecting. "Elsa, do you wanna build a snowman?"
I answered her back "what?! You know I can't-" she interrupted me. "Yes, we can. We got Arendelle's snow!"
My eyes widened. Of course! Mother and Father can't ban the snow to fall naturally! We head down to the palace garden without telling anyone. We quickly set to work, building ourselves a snowman. We honestly didn't use any magic. However, once we finished, Anna turned to me. "Pssst Elsa", Anna whispered. "Ya?" I whispered back. "Lets use your magic to slide down a hill." She meant she wanted me to make a giant snow hill for us to slide down on.
I told her no, because it would be seen sooner or later. "Yes, and when were done, you can make it disappear?" Anna suggested. As if she had read my mind. "Wow Anna, your a genius!" I exclaimed.
Me and Anna have always been close, ever sense she was born, we even have decided that when I am Queen, she'll be my right hand. So that way we'll never be apart. A team.
So we did as Anna suggested. Making the show slide. We only went down it twice, before making it disappear. Than coming in for some hot chocolate, in the kitchen, we were as happy as can be. Not even Christmas was this much fun.
Afterwards we were running down the hall, playing tag when we saw our parents at the end. Standing there they seemed to have been waiting for us. We came up to them, already worried. Their expression said it all. They were displeased. Anna came running up to them hugging them, while I gingerly fallowed behind. Mother took Anna's hand and suggested they go and play, while father and I talked.
Anna looked at me before she was pulled away by our mother. I can see she must have figured I was in trouble. I looked up at our Dad who's expression was motionless.
"Umm, did I do something wrong?" I asked.
"What is the rule, Elsa?" He asked.
"Not to use powers." I answered.
"Exactly! What were you doing making a slide! It's only for special occasions, that you may use your powers. Otherwise you'll lose control," He said it all sternly.
I could only look down at my feet ashamed. I was angry. Why can't I use my powers! They're special, my gift! I thought.
He went on, telling me I wasn't to have dinner tonight, and that I wasn't to go outside and play for a few days. I couldn't believe it. Anna gets to do everything. She can do no wrong.
A week later, Anna came to my door again, asking to come play. I didn't want to see her. No matter what I do it's still not good enough for them. Anna can do it without me. I wouldn't answer, until finally I told her to go away.
While watching from my window, I noticed Anna was outside in the front court yard, making a snowman. Her nanny was helping her. I realized than that in a way, Anna's nanny is my replacement. Who else will they give Anna to make her life happy I wondered bitterly.
I honestly rather be alone anyways. No one to nag you, tell you no. I had my dolls, my books. I also had my magic.
Ever sense my teacher was taken from me, I've been secretly practicing. She'd be so proud! I've already started mastering shapes, now I just experiment with whatever idea comes to mind. It takes a while sometimes but it's gives me something to do outside of school. So far, no one has found out. And they never will find out. It's my magic, and it's my gift.