"Where did you find this?!" asked Webby.

"I found it in the bathroom. I needed extra toilet paper, and it was rolled up on one of the toilet papers."

"Your Grunkle Stan used a long lost treasure map from your town's own founder as toilet paper?!" said Webby.

"Yep. That sounds like him..." said Mabel. "Probably did it to save money on toilet paper or something..."

"Ew!" said Dewey. "That's gross!"

"And also mildly infuriating, but who cares?! We can now see what your founder put in that chest!" shouted Webby. "And it looks wild!"

"I don't know where this map leads or if the person who wrote it even knew what they were doing, but I accept their challenge!" said Dewey.

Webby swung her backpack and grabbed her grappling hook.

"You ready for an adventure, grappling hook buddy?" asked Webby.

Mabel then grabbed her grappling hook.

"You read my mind..."

Mabel then grabbed Waddles.

"Come on, Waddles!"

"You're taking the pig with you?" asked Dewey.

"Of course! I always do!"

The three ran out of Mabel's room and were about to leave.

"Yo, Louie! You coming or what?"

"Eh, I'd love to, but I've got a tour to run," said Louie, who was now in a suit. "And over here, folks, we have the head of a Giraffe Caribou! Some say that if you touch it's antler, it brings good luck... and eternal life!"

"Huey, how about you?" asked Mabel.

"No can do!" said Huey, dragging an easel. "There are some very ill-informed children who don't know what a duck is, and I'm not gonna stand for it!"

"Uncle Scrooge?! You wanna come?!" shouted Webby.

"Not now kids!" said Scrooge, eating popcorn intensely. "Ducktective is about to find out who murdered Michelle's wife!"

"Yo! Your uncle loves Ducktective!" said Soos.

The three turned to Wendy.

"No."

"More treasure for three of us then!" said Dewey.

"Well, what are we waiting for then?!" said Webby, running out the door. "Let's go get us some historical treasures!"

Mabel was so excited, she shot her grappling hook through the ceiling and took off.

"You know we have a door for a reason, right?" asked Louie.

"What are we waiting for?" asked Dewey impatiently. "Let's just start the quest already!"

And off the three went on their treasure hunt.

Meanwhile from outside, unbeknownst to the three kids...

"Oh, I don't think it'll just be the three of you because with Scrooge McDuck distracted and the kids on their own, they'll lead me right to the treasure, and with a treasure like that, it must be worth thousands! No! Millions! No! Billions! Yes! And then, and only then, will I, Flintheart Glomgold, be once and for all,the richest duck in the world! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Maaaah!" went a goat.

"Shoo! You're ruining my moment!"

...And then the goat pulled off Glomgold's fake beard and took off.

"Aye! Give that back! That's my character!"

"And if you turn your attention to here, you'll find a cheese sandwich that was bitten by the one and only... George Washington!"

The crowd ooh'd and aah'd at the sight of the moldy sandwich. Of course, it was just junk that Louie found in the trash...

"Man, these people are oh, so gullible," he thought to himself. "Who wants to guess what kind of cheese it is?"

"Wow. He's even worse than Stan," Wendy commented.

"You're the one who gave him the hat in the first place," said Huey. "What did you expect?"

"...touche," said Wendy.

"Alright, kids," said Huey, turning to the children and pointing to the board. "Now, here I have a picture of a duck and a picture of a goose. See, there are very, very, many differences between ducks and gooses, for instance, gooses have very long necks..."

"Yeah, and you don't," joked one of the kids.

"Who said that?!" said Huey, offended. He then cleared this throat. "Anyways, you can also tell a duck and a goose by their beaks. Our beaks are much larger than those of a goose."

"Really? You're beak doesn't look that big..." snickered another kid.

"How dare you comment about my beak?! Why I oughta-" Huey cleared his throat. "Anyways, if we can cut back on the jokes, you'll also see that... the nose of a duck-"

"Excuse me! The duck on the picture has wings..." said one kid.

"Yes, I'm aware of that..." said Huey.

"If you're a duck, where are your wings?"

"Oh, well, you see..." said Huey. Then, Huey paused... and took a good long look at his arm. Huey had never questioned why he didn't have wings. He just accepted how he was for all his life. That was when a moment of realization hit Huey like a brick to the head.

"If you don't have wings... are you even a bird?"

"...I don't even know anymore... why don't I have wings...?"

Huey then looked outside to see a few ducks flying by in the sky.

"Why am I not like other ducks? Am I even a duck?!"

Huey was going into one of mental breakdowns.

"And if you look over here, you will see a silly goose having an identity crisis," said Louie jokingly.

"I am not a goose... at least, I don't think I'm a goose," said Huey doubtfully. "...what am I?!"

"Keep it down out there!" shouted Scrooge from the family room.

"Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack... quack quack!"

"Bless me bagpipes! I did not see that coming!"

"I know! And I've seen this episode, like, 32 times!" said Soos.

"I am so excited to be going on an adventure with you!" said Webby.

"I'm the one who should be excited!" said Mabel. "You're family is so amazing! They're always so busy on their own quests."

"Yeah, we are a pretty busy family. It's rare that we ever venture with people outside of Duckburg.

"Now that we're together, we can finally prove that we really are meant for each other!" Mabel took out a magazine page. "I even ripped this page out of one of Wendy's magazines last minute."

"Hey, what happened to this?!" asked Wendy.

The page was a list of questions just for adventurer friends.

"Ooh! A friendship quiz! Those are always reliable!" said Webby.

"No, actually, it's an 'Are You An Adventurer of the Wilderness?' quiz," corrected Mabel.

"Oh, right," said Webby awkwardly. "Those friendship quizzes never work anyway..."

"Magazine quizzes don't lie," added Dewey. "Just the other day, I did this self-quiz that determines if you are the smartest and most handsome duck there is, and I got 100%, so that's how you know it's reliable."

"First question! If you were surrounded by a gang of wild, rampaging hoarder-beast owls, what would you do?" asked Mabel.

"Oh! That's an easy one!" said Webby. "We..."

"Throw glitter at them! Yes!" said Mabel.

"No. You see, owls are attracted to shiny things. It'll only make us bigger targets that way."

"Oh..."

"The best thing to do, actually, would be to make noise. They don't like that," Webby kindly corrected. "Minor fluke. No biggie. What's the next question? Uh... okay. What would you do with a pack of wisp wolves?" asked Webby.

"Um... you stare them down and don't look away?" said Mabel.

"No... you-"

"Oh! Oh! You turn the other way then? Don't make eye contact?"

"Actually, those are both things you don't do or else they'll attack you," said Webby. "It's fine. Let's move on to the next one."

"If you're lost in a dense part of-"

"Oh! When you're lost in any situation, you let your pig find the way for you!" said Mabel, holding Waddles.

...

"You know, magazines are just sheets of paper! They never mean anything!" said Webby nervously.

"Alright!" cried Dewey. "We're here at the starting point of the map! What do we do now?"

"Well, according to this map, it says... we walk straight through this wall here?"

The map was pointing in the direction at which there was a cliff.

"That doesn't make any sense... is this a dead end?"

"Wait a minute... what if it means we go over the cliff?" asked Webby.

"Let's do it!" said Mabel, pulling out her grappling hook.

Webby grabbed hers out and held onto Dewey.

"Hang on!" she shouted, and blasted at the cliff.

When the three were at the top, they took another glance at the map.

"Now what?" said Dewey.

"Now the map says we must go... down?" asked Webby.

"Wait... but we just got up here, why do we need to go down?"

"This map makes no sense!" said Dewey. "First it says we go through a wall, and now it's telling us to go down under the ground, how does that-?"

CLUNK! went a trapdoor under them.

"Oh... that's how..."

"AHHHHHH!"

At the bottom of the hill, Glomgold had made his way to the cliff.

"Ha! I don't need a grappling hook! I can get up there with my own two hands!"

...of course, being Glomgold, he climbed the cliff very slowly.

"Curse you, Gravity Falls... why must you be so difficult?!"

...

"Finally, made it to the top!"

"MAAAH!"

"Huh?! How did you get up here?!"

POW!

"AHH!" screamed the falling Glomgold. "Curse you, stupid goat!"

"MAAAH!"

Underground...

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

"Ow!... What now?" said Dewey.

"...I think this is part of the map..." said Webby. "I can't imagine otherwise."

"Wait...where's Waddles?" asked Mabel.

"Oink-bel..."

"Oh wait, there he is!"

"A trapdoor? How cliche," laughed Webby. "So, shall we?"

"Oooh! You know what go great with this?" asked Mabel, taking out an accordion. "Travelling music!"

"Wouldn't hurt to- wait. You play accordion?" asked Webby.

"No, but that won't stop me from trying..." said Mabel. "Right Waddles?"

"Oink-bel..."

"Why does he have a drum and cymbals attached to him?"

"He's learning to play the drums!"

And Mabel began to attempt to play accordion through the whole trip... at least for the next three hours.

"Are... we there yet?" asked Mabel.

"Mabel, you can stop if you want..." said a concerned Webby.

"Yeah. Not much of a polka person," said Dewey.

"Yeah, good idea..." panted Mabel. "My arms are getting really tired anyway..."

"You know..." said Dewey. "There's something missing here..."

It only took one step forward from Mabel to realize what it was when a large pile of chickens fell on them.

"Oh, yeah... booby traps! At least I think it's a booby trap?"

"Look at it this way," said Webby. "At least we now know we're heading the right way. This is the most creative trap I've ever come across."

"How are chickens supposed to be scary?!"

"Ah! They're so cute!" said Mabel. "Come here you little clucker!"

Mabel gave one of the chickens a hug, angering it.

You can probably guess what happened from there.

...

Dewey was crying, covered in feathers and hugging Webby by the time they made it out.

"Well... that was unexpected," said Webby. "Mabel, maybe try laying off of hugging things."

"I just thought... okay, sure," said Mabel. "Still grappling hook buddies?"

"Uh, sure," said Webby, trying to comfort a humorously traumatized Dewey.

"L- let's just get this over with..." said Dewey. "I do not want to come across another chicken... why do chickens have to be so scary?!"

Later, the gang continued their way down, this time they had to make their way through a narrow cliff.

"Man, how crazy does a guy have to be to build this long, tedious path to some dumb treasure?" asked Dewey.

"Must have been a LONG time," said Mabel.

"I know what would make this quicker..." said Webby, looking up at a stalagmite.

"Oh! I see what you're getting at!" said Mabel, pointing her grappling hook at the stalagmite too.

"Hey, uh, I don't have one of those, so..."

"I'll hang on to you, Dewey!" said Webby.

Webby and Mabel pointed their grappling hook... in different directions, causing Webby to accidentally knock Mabel off upon shooting her hook.

"AHHHH!"

"Oh my gosh, Mabel!" cried Webby, shooting her hook and catching Mabel.

"Sorry," she said, pulling her up. "I thought we were aiming at the same rock!"

"I was aiming at one over there!" said Mabel.

"I was aiming at the one over there!" said Webby, pointing in the opposite direction.

"So much for grappling hook buddies," Dewey joked.

Mabel looked down at the gorge. They're little adventure wasn't going as well as they had planned.